Family Secrets: Books 5-8

by Virginia Kantra

  And wanting.

  Thered be no sleeping this night, no standing guard. At least not yet.

  But there was plenty of wanting. It seared through him, blurring his vision. He wanted to taste and touch every inch of her, to prove he would never hurt her again. To make this good for her, to make up for the way it had been all those years before, when hed taken her virginity then walked away. To show her she had nothing to fear from him, that this time hed play it by the heart, not a misplaced sense of right and wrong, duty and responsibility. His need for this woman ran deeper than the physical. Always had. Living without her had been like living without a fundamental part of himself.

  I never stopped wanting you, he told her, sliding her down the length of his body to her feet. Never stopped remembering.

  Neither did I. A slow smile curved her face as she lifted her hands to his chest and let them slide lower, to the waistband of his black pants. There she dipped inside and put her cool palms to his abdomen. Id see you in my dreams, she whispered, moving up and sliding the cotton knit shirt over his shoulders. Id see that look in your eyes and Id know you wanted me as badly as I wanted you.

  A moan ripped from his throat.

  I saw you, too, he said, fighting the tiny buttons of her silk shirt. Impatience ripped at him, but he forced himself to go slow, as hed promised. Hed waited ten years. He could wait ten minutes. You would smile, he said, like youre doing now.

  The curve of her mouth widened as she lifted her face to his chest and pressed her mouth to his wide, flat nipple.

  Pleasure shivered through him. Not fair, Eric practically growled. He wanted to do as she did, to put his mouth to her breast and taste, to tease in an erotically slow rhythm, to drive her mad with need.

  Leigh let out a throaty laugh, joining her hands to his and quickly finishing the job on the buttons. He slid the silky fabric from her shoulders, then stepped back to admire the sight of her standing in his bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of cream linen trousers and a lacy taupe bra. Her breasts swelled from the scalloped edges, making him burn even hotter.

  In my dreams, she whispered, smiling with a hint of vulnerability so uncharacteristic that it sliced to the bone, youd tease me until I cried out.

  He almost lost it right then and there. Somewhere along the line the girl had become a woman, and the woman promised to be his undoing. Lucky me, he murmured, flicking free the front clasp. Her breasts were fuller than before, her nipples larger and darker. Like this? he asked, sliding his tongue around the aureole.

  She lifted a hand to hold his head in place. Just like that.

  A hard sound of primal male hunger ripped from inside him as he felt her fingers dig deeper. He wanted to keep teasing her, teasing himself, but the need to have her fully in his mouth was too great. He sucked the peak in and worked it with his mouth, while she writhed, soft sounds of satisfaction echoing through the room.

  Eric, she whispered, backing him toward the bed. Please.

  He needed no more encouragement than that. They quickly discarded their pants and found the mattress, she stretching out languidly, he easing alongside her. All the while he kissed and caressed, his mouth exploring hers, sliding along her neck, again finding her breasts, then her abdomen, next the scrap of lacy taupe panties clinging to her slender hips. He eased the panties down with his hands and slid his mouth lower, lower, until the heat surrounded him and her body tensed. He tasted her, felt her shiver.

  With you, she said breathlessly, her hands sliding along his slick back and urging him back up. Pleasenot alone.

  The wave of tenderness blindsided him, prompting him to slide up her body and return his mouth to hers. Her arms and legs immediately closed around him, holding him to her as though she never wanted to let go.

  Not alone, he assured, moving his mouth against hers. He refused to think of how many nights theyd spent alone, with only dreams to sustain them. Never again. Determination hammered through him, to prove she had no reason to fear tomorrow, that this time would be different. This time hed be there when she needed him.

  The thought of prison nudged the haze of desire, but he forced it aside. He was not going to prison, damn it. He was not going to lose Leigh. The past couldnt hurt them, and, he vowed as he slipped a hand between her legs and found her slick and ready, neither could the future.

  Please, she whispered, arching her hips into his hand. Now.

  He needed no more invitation than that. He shifted slightly and slid inside, found her small and tight, much as she had been that night a lifetime ago. She tilted her hips and welcomed him deep, welcomed him home. He wanted to savor the sensation, but found himself pulling out, only to sink back in. Again and again. More deliberately each time. He loved the way her eyes glazed over and her head lolled to the side, the way she matched him stroke for stroke, urged him deep. They found a steady rhythm, rocking, rocking, slick bodies sliding together, faster each time.

  Yes, she whispered, fingernails digging into his back. Oh, yes.

  And when she arched up and cried out his name, he didnt try to hold on for one second longer. He let himself go, thrusting deeper into the heat that had haunted him for ten long years. In some hazy corner of his mind he heard his primal sound of release, heard her match it with one of her own. Then there was only sensation, the feel of her grasping him, crying out his name, of losing himself, finally, at last, in Leigh.

  Only Leigh.

  They came together again in the still of the night, made love during those quiet, fragile minutes before dawn broke on the horizon and ushered in a new day. Joy and despair curled through her, slipping into her chest and squeezing her heart. While one rejoiced, the other reminded. Tears stung her eyes even as Eric moved inside her. This was what shed wanted. For too many years shed woken abruptly from dreams so real and intense her body had burned from the remembered promise of Erics touch.

  Shed told herself she was being foolish. Shed told herself shed romanticized and glorified what she and Eric had shared. That shed let memory spin itself into something far more fantastic than reality could ever offer.

  Shed been wrong.

  They moved together now, and with every powerful thrust of his hips, she felt a little more of herself slip and give way. She loved this man. She loved him wholly and irrevocably, against logic and caution and better judgment. Shed given him her heart years before, and despite secrets and hurts that lurked between them, shed never gotten that fundamental piece of herself back.

  And now she knew she never would.

  The sun was already starting to filter through the wooden blinds slanting across the window, and just as they had on that bitterly cold morning so long ago, soon theyd say goodbye.

  This time, forever.

  Eric Jones stood accused, but she was the one whod committed the wrong. She was the one whod been judge and jury, whod rendered a fate without granting him so much as a by-your-leave. And no matter how noble her intentions had been, no matter how deeply she loved him, the truth cut harder and deeper with every caress of his lips. His body. Shed robbed this man of something precious and fundamental. There was no way to change the truth, no magic door through time and space to undo mistakes and regrets.

  There was only the here and now, and the unstoppable certainty of what lay ahead.

  Leigh, he murmured, threading his fingers through hers and moving mo
re powerfully within her. Ill never let you go.

  They came together like that, hand to hand, body to body, heart to heart, while deep inside, Leigh slowly, quietly, shattered. One moment, one decision, one mistake.

  No dream lasted forever.

  She awoke slowly, gently, to the rumble of thunder in the distance. She shifted in the tangled sheets, felt the rush of cool air against the exposed flesh of her shoulder. Awareness nudged at her, but she blocked it, not ready to let go of the erotic dream that had her blood humming. Eric. Hed been gentle, thorough. Hed touched her in ways shed never been touched, brought her body singing to life with a ferocity she hadnt known possible.

  Contentment hummed deep.

  Lightning flickered against the darkness of semi-sleep, another low roar of thunder. She felt herself start to drift through the warm, thick layers of sensation that had buffeted her during the night. There was heat and desire, a wave of fulfillment that tightened her chest.

  Then the bed shifted.

  The haze crumbled, scraping away sensation and revealing the reality that she wasnt alone. She hadnt been dreaming. She and Eric had spent the night in bed, claiming each others bodies with an urgency that staggered. Theyd slept little during the long, hot hours while evening had slipped into night, trying to sate years worth of wanting in mere hours.

  Sleep, sweetheart, he murmured in a roughened voice as his mouth came down against hers. The kiss was soft, achingly tender.

  Leigh held her breath, but could do nothing about the rapid pounding of her heart. She didnt open her eyes, didnt want him to know she was awake. Wasnt ready to face him.

  Thunder boomed nearby, rattling the bedroom windows. And then Eric was gone. She heard his footsteps moving against the hardwood floor, and only then did she allow herself to face the morning. Throat tight, she watched him walk naked from the bedroom and into the bathroom. He didnt bother closing the door, just reached into the bathtub and turned on the shower. A moment later he stepped inside and yanked the white curtain closed.

  Everything came surging back, every delicious, hot moment. Every mistake. Emotion broke from her heart and rushed her eyes, and for the first time in years, she didnt bother fighting the sorrow. She wanted to follow Eric into the bathroom, to step into the shower with him, to feel his warm hands slide a bar of soap over her breasts and stomach. To do the same to him. With her mouth and her fingers shed explored every hard contour of his body the night before, and deep inside, she burned to do the same by daylight, to taste and treasure.

  To feel him taste and treasure her.

  The ache sharpened, deepened, not tightening around her chest, but lancing through it.

  She knew what she had to do. Shed stolen her moment, made her mistake. Now she had no choice.

  Quietly, Leigh slipped from bed and found her bra and panties on the floor where Eric had discarded them. She gathered her slacks and blouse, could barely make her shaking hands fight with the buttons. The seconds ticked by excruciatingly fast. She grabbed her shoes and headed for the door, not allowing herself a glance back at the bathroom, where water still rattled through old pipes.

  Shed already made her choice, she reminded as she stepped into the rain, looking for a taxi and thanking God no reporters remained.

  Leaving Eric was the hardest thing shed ever done, but deep inside, she knew the pain was nothing compared to what lay ahead.

  There was no turning back. Hadnt been for a long time.

  He wanted to be angry with her. He wanted to be furious. While hed been standing under the spray of lukewarm water, imagining her there with him, the feel of her flesh as he slid a bar of soap along her curves, shed rolled from his bed and dressed, turned and walked away.

  Just as hed done that morning so long ago.

  The truth scraped hard. One night, no matter how raw and explosive, could not tear down the monolith that stood between them.

  Eric swung his car off the boulevard and onto a side street shaded by ancient elms and maples. The yellow glow of the sinking sun barely seeped through the thick, heavily leafed canopies. Sprawling brick houses lined both sides of the street, an occasional car or SUV parked out front.

  So this was where she lived, Eric thought as he cruised past a young woman in Lycra jogging down the sidewalk. He took in the scatter of basketball goals and skateboards, scooters and bicycles, and felt his frustration slip a notch.

  Hed wanted to go after her the second hed found her gone. Hed wanted to follow, to force her to confront all that had passed between them, not just in the past, but the night before. Shed come apart in his arms, had welcomed him into her body with the same urgency ripping through him.

  Regret twisted with understanding. More than just years separated them, and he knew it. A lifelong prison sentence loomed on his horizon. One night of mind-blowing sex couldnt clear his name, couldnt grant them a future. He deserved her caution. Hed hurt her badly once before.

  This time would be different, he vowed as he matched the address hed jotted down with the numbers on the two-story red-brick house with a welcoming front porch. He swung into the driveway, stopping abruptly to avoid running over the mud-caked dirt bike lying on its side. This time he would do everything hed not done before. He would stay. He would not let a misplaced sense of duty lead him astray. He would do whatever it took to be the man Leigh needed him to be.

  He would not go down, would not let go, not without a fight.

  This is your last warning.

  Eric turned off the engine, but could do nothing to stop the memory from grinding through him. She was right. They were getting close, making someone nervous. But whereas she saw that as a positive sign, he saw only the danger. To her.

  And that was something he could not allow.

  He stepped into the muggy air of early evening. The day had crawled by, but hed been determined to give Leigh the space she obviously needed. One truth remained clear, a truth he would not let her run from. Last night had only been the beginning. The clock no longer ticked against them. They had the days and weeks ahead, and every moment that lay beyond.

  Eric glanced at the house, not surprised to see clay pots overflowing with geraniums and petunias artfully arranged on the porch. The boxwood hedges were neatly trimmed, lined in front by waving fountain grass and cheerful clusters of pink impatiens. From the back, he heard barking, and wondered if the dog belonged to Leigh. So much he didnt know about her, her life.

  The basketball goal caught him by surprise.

  The rusty post stretched high against the pale-blue sky, but the net looked brand new. Odd, Eric thought, then remembered the way a twenty-year-old Leigh had sweet-talked her way into more than one pick-up game. Shed held her own, too, maybe even used her femininity to steal the ball and sink a shot.

  Eric followed a curved cement path to the front door, fighting the wave of nostalgia that crowded closer with every step. Impossible to walk this path and not think of all that had never been. All hed once wanted. This was the life hed seen for himself, a quiet neighborhood of tidy lawns and graceful trees, where neighbors helped out in a pinch and children played safely in front yards.

  He and Becky had managed the house, but that was all.

  The children had never come. Once, Eric had imagined himself a father,
teaching a daughter with her mothers silky black hair and intelligent eyes how to ride a bicycle. Hed seen himself playing ball with sons whod inherited his sandy-brown hair and killer throwing arm, who shared his love of baseball.

  And his blood.

  The swift blade of regret caught Eric by surprise. Hed long since adjusted to the fact he knew no one who shared his genetics. It didnt matter why his birth parents hadnt kept him. The Joneses had been wonderful people, he reminded himself as he knocked against the wooden door. Theyd given him the best childhood imaginable. Theyd loved him, made him their son in every way that mattered.

  five genetically engineered men and women living among us, walking time bombs ready to explode at any minute.

  The memory of Cantrells words sliced deep, bringing a fresh surge of anger. The reporter didnt know what the hell he was talking about. Eric would

  The front door swung open, and every vow hed been about to make shattered.

  Hi, there, a young boy greeted. The kid looked to be somewhere around nine or ten, with thick brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He wore a baseball uniform, with grass stains at the knees. Can I help you?

  Eric just stared. Im sorry, he forced himself to say. I must have the wrong house. I was looking for Leigh Montgomery.

  The boy flashed a crooked little smile, revealing a dimple that almost stopped Erics heart cold. Youre in the right place, he said, then called over his shoulder. Mom! Some guys here to see you!

  Mom.

  The word slammed into Eric, sending his heart jackhammering against his ribs.

  Mom.

  Sweet Christ. This boy was Leighs son.