Just A Little Romance

by Mary Jane Russell

  “Damn, I’m going with you next year.” Sam stared at the living room wall.

  “Uh-oh. What’s wrong? Is KD back in town?” Paul continued typing.

  “Oh, Lord, don’t even think that. I’d almost rather she had beaten the crap out of me again compared to how badly I screwed things up with Lisa.” Sam told Paul about the friendly intervention that went bust.

  “Wait, wait. Let me jot some of that down. You’re going to be in book number four.” Paul had difficulty with words for all the chuckles escaping him.

  “Well, I’m glad to be such a source of amusement and inspiration. I need your help, turd face.”

  Paul sighed. “Okay, Lucy, tell me what part I play in your scheme to win Ethel back.”

  “Teach me how to cook.”

  Paul was silent.

  “Are you still there?” Sam asked.

  “I’m envisioning chocolate candies on a conveyer belt.”

  “Gee, thanks. You’re invited by the way.” Sam hung up and made him call her back twice before she continued the conversation with him.

  Paul was insistent. “You’re setting yourself up for disaster, trying to cook for a gourmet.”

  “That’s why I’m keeping the menu very simple and something even I can’t screw up.”

  By Saturday morning, Sam had practiced all the dishes she was preparing—steaks on the grill, sautéed vegetables à la kabobs, and two different meringue-topped pies. If Sam had learned nothing else in her mother’s kitchen, it was how to bake. Simple, satisfying food that was no competition with haute cuisine—perfect. Sam cleaned the house, shopped, and was ready to begin prep work two hours before everyone was to arrive. Her telephone rang.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me there early to help?” Paul asked. “Aaron will wait to join us when everyone else is there if you don’t want him underfoot early.”

  “Nope, I’m good. I’m going to do this by myself.” Sam glanced at her checklist. “Wait a minute, buster. Aaron? Isn’t he the cutie I found for you on Match when you set me up with the crazy shrink last fall?”

  Paul laughed. “Hooking up with Aaron has been a weird, rather lesbian-like, experience. We met, clicked, held off taking it further because we were both seeing other people, then kept crossing paths. He was at Saints and Sinners as a followup to being in New Orleans for his job with the Tourism Corporation—something about the World War II museum. We ended up hanging out the entire con—we could have stayed right here in Richmond and done that. He wants us to be exclusive.”

  “Very subtle. I’m proud of you. About damn time, by the way. Got to go, messes to make,” Sam said.

  “Call me if you change your mind.”

  Sam hung up.

  By six p.m., all was in place. The gas grill was burning, the vegetables marinating, and the pies were ready to go in the oven to bake the meringue.

  Paul and Aaron arrived. Paul beamed, showing off his new blond and buff boyfriend. Aaron Johnson was younger than Paul by ten years—a preference Paul couldn’t seem to break—and unable to take his eyes off his date. Neither of them stopped grinning. Aaron used Sam’s offered hand to pull her close to him and hugged her as though he had known her for years. Paul held up the chilled bottle he brought and ducked into the kitchen to pour glasses of wine.

  “I love gay men,” Sam said into Aaron’s shoulder. She placed her free hand over his, gripping her right. “Take it easy, sweetie, I’m just out of a cast.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Aaron dropped her hand. “My bad. Paul told me about it and I forgot.”

  “How’s work?” Sam followed him to the sofa. She could appreciate that he was a gorgeous young man—tall, cropped blond hair, gym-sculpted body, and animated mannerisms.

  “The Tourism Corporation has me scouting locations in the boonies next week. Thank God for GPS. I used to think I wanted to be in movies, but arranging locales for film crews that want to shoot in Virginia is such a hoot. So far, I’ve been an extra in one movie about the Kennedys and two about Jefferson, and played a corpse in a serial killer miniseries.” He struck a screaming victim pose.

  “That’ll come in handy working for the state,” Sam said.

  Haley and Kelly strolled in arm in arm, carrying a twelve-pack of Guinness. Kelly held up the box. “Just in case all you have is that wussy skunk beer.”

  “You’re always welcome in my home,” Sam said. She met them halfway across the room and engaged them in a group hug whether they liked it or not.

  “We waited until we saw the boys arrive so we wouldn’t be here first.” Haley looked about the room in expectation.

  “We figured her car was hidden in your garage,” Kelly said, side-stepping an elbow from Haley.

  “She’ll be here. She promised.” Sam was antsy enough without anyone else saying Lisa’s name.

  Kelly bumped knuckles with Sam. “Need any help?”

  Sam pulled Kelly into the kitchen. Haley followed long enough to set the beer in the refrigerator and take a bottle back to the sofa with the boys.

  “I’m going to check the temperature on the grill. Please put the pies in the oven and take them out in fifteen minutes or as soon as the meringue browns.” Sam had everything precisely timed.

  Kelly nodded. “Got it, boss.”

  “Don’t make me smack you.” Sam was annoyed by the smirk on Kelly’s face. She was well aware of overplanning to compensate for her nervousness.

  “For old time’s sake?” Kelly turned her butt toward Sam, then quickly stepped away before she took her up on it.

  Sam waved her off and went out on the back deck. The grill was cold. “Shit!” Sam tried the ignition button. No sizzling of gas making contact with a spark. “Oh, no.” She opened the doors of the cabinet base and nudged the container. The propane tank she should have checked last week was empty. She returned to the kitchen.

  Kelly made a fist and thumped her heart, then gave Sam a salute. “I’m counting down the brown time.”

  Sam huffed and continued into the living room. She caught Paul’s eye and motioned him to the dining area. “May I borrow your propane tank?”

  Paul grimaced. “It’s in the back of the wagon to be refilled.”

  Sam looked at Haley. “You don’t even have a gas grill. I’m screwed in a bad way.”

  Aaron excused himself from Haley. “I’ll run over to the hardware store.” He caught Paul’s toss of his keys and sprinted out the door.

  “He has such energy for everything.” Paul’s eyes stayed on Aaron.

  “TMI.” Haley covered her ears with her hands.

  “Oh, you two go at it like zoo orangutans, don’t try to fool me with feigned shyness.” Paul loved teasing Haley and watched her neck and face turn red.

  Kelly came to the doorway and motioned Sam to the kitchen. “How’s that?”

  The meringue on the pies was as brown as a UPS truck, tips actually blackened.

  “I made sure the eggs were good and done,” Kelly said, marveling at her ability to cook.

  Sam covered her face with her hands. “What was I thinking, asking a butch to bake? You’re worse in the kitchen than I am.” Sam pushed Kelly toward the living room. “Go. Out. Now!”

  The doorbell rang. Haley ushered Lisa into the house. Lisa looked at their faces. “Good heavens, what slapstick routine have I walked in on?”

  Sam hit Kelly on the shoulder. “I didn’t need any help looking like an idiot.”

  “Am I going to have to separate you two?” Lisa asked. “Paul, how are you?”

  Paul waved, cell phone to his ear.

  Kelly gave Lisa a quick hug. “Do something with your woman, will you? I’ve just been insulted and banned from the kitchen.”

  Paul held up his empty wineglass. “This dinner is driving me to drink. Aaron just called. He’s stuck in traffic from a fender bender on Route 60.”

  Lisa followed Sam into the kitchen. “Are we a little stressed out?” The kitchen looked as though a food bomb had been set off. No
surface was without clutter or remnants of ingredients. “Need some help?” Lisa held up an abandoned corn cob.

  “What’s your favorite take-out?” Sam tossed her apron toward the trash can, intending to repeat the action with the pies.

  “Whoa!” Lisa caught Sam by the arm. “Go sit in the living room. Take a nice cold beer with you.” She gave Sam a push. “I forgive you, by the way.”

  Sam fought the urge to put her head between the sofa cushions.

  Aaron came in the front door and dropped to the floor dramatically. “I had a Steve McQueen moment and drove across the median and ditch. Traffic was not moving. It was too hot to just sit there and wait for the radiator to overheat.” He jumped up and over the back of the sofa to sit beside Paul, handing him the keys. “Nada on the propane.”

  Sam groaned.

  Thirty minutes passed. Lisa came around the corner from the kitchen and grinned at the desolate group. “Dinner’s ready.”

  Everyone filed into the dining area and took a seat as though being punished. Lisa brought in platters of pan-seared steaks, steamed vegetables, and, later, bowls of baked pudding that tasted surprisingly like pie filling. They each in turn raved about the meal. Sam chewed in stunned silence while the others chatted as voraciously as they ate.

  Lisa whispered in Sam’s ear as she began clearing the table. “You just have to know how to salvage a situation.”

  “I bow to the master,” Sam said. “I clear and clean, remember?”

  Lisa nodded. “I’ll try to pass muster with your friends.”

  “It’s me they’ll boot out and keep you.” Sam watched as Lisa went into the living room to yet another round of applause. She nestled in between Paul and Aaron on the sofa. Haley and Kelly sprawled on pillows on the floor in front of the fireplace.

  “What a perfect evening,” Sam said. She was amazed by her good fortune.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  “Why did I agree to do this?” Sam chided herself once again for being a sucker. She had been coerced into acting as the substitute host for the post-graduation job fair for area high school seniors who had not been able to find summer work. The high schools had bailed out on the chamber of commerce event because of summer programs already stretching skeleton staffs and nonexistent budgets too thin.

  Even with making use of the drive-in door of the back bay of the building, Sam had schlepped in three loads of materials to the training room and now faced setting everything up by herself. “Well, at least I had sense enough to come in early to get this done before the phones start ringing.” Her phone beeped. “Too freaky.” Sam fumbled to set her armload down quickly and find her phone. “Probably Tambor explaining why she’s late as a volunteer for extra work I can’t pay her for. Maybe I can talk Kelly into helping once she’s off the clock.” She had waved to Kelly in passing when she didn’t park in her usual spot. “Or Kelly’s pissed because she opened the front doors for me for nothing.”

  Sam read the text message from Kelly for the second time. “Boss, front and center. KD alert!!!!!!!”

  She dialed Kelly’s phone. No answer. “This is not good.” Sam let the table skirt drop to the floor and trotted toward the front of the building. She followed the hallway to the conference room. No sense jumping to conclusions. Hopefully, KD was simply parked out front and glaring at the building. Sam walked quietly through the room and peeked around the door into the reception area, ready to bless out Kelly for scaring the crap out of her. Instead, Sam froze and stared.

  KD was perched on the corner of Tambor’s desk with Kelly in a visitor’s chair, hands clasped behind her head. They both heard Sam’s gasp.

  “Join us.” KD motioned Sam into the reception area.

  Sam ducked back into the conference room.

  KD fired the gun. A bullet came through the wall ahead of Sam with a dull pop. Sam jerked to a stop. The white board was ruined. “I wonder how much that cost.” Sam knew she wasn’t making any sense.

  “Come back and join us or I’ll empty the clip into your buddy. I have plenty more ammo.” KD’s threat was way too calm.

  Sam returned to the reception area.

  Kelly’s face was pale as she silently pleaded with Sam. Sam wasn’t sure what Kelly imagined she might do.

  “Sit down.” KD motioned with the gun.

  Sam sat in the chair closest to Kelly so that they both faced KD.

  “How lucky am I to find the two of you here at the same time?” KD rubbed her nose with the tip of the barrel. “Bonus!”

  “I guess I don’t need to remind you that you’re in violation of a restraining order? There’s already an outstanding warrant for you,” Sam said.

  Kelly kicked Sam in the ankle.

  “The order that prohibits me from carrying a gun and will put me in jail if I approach you?” KD said. She knew legalese by heart. “A warrant because I didn’t report back to that old fart judge that I snookered?”

  “Yeah,” Sam said, “right on both counts.”

  “Imagine that.” KD grinned at her, then looked at Kelly. “Call Haley and tell her you’re having car trouble and need a ride.” She aimed the gun at Sam for emphasis.

  “No,” Sam and Kelly said at the same time.

  KD shot into the panel behind Kelly, showering the women with broken bits of glass. “Call her.”

  “Do it,” Sam said.

  Kelly’s hand shook as she cradled her cell phone. “Hey, sweetie, can you come by and pick me up? My truck’s dead.”

  KD leaned across the table and took Kelly’s phone, snapping it closed. She held out her hand toward Sam. “Give me yours.”

  “May I call Lisa? She’ll know something’s wrong if I don’t leave her a message this morning. She’s worked all night, and I always check in with her.” Sam looked evenly at KD.

  “Do it.”

  Sam punched the button programmed with Paul’s number and hoped KD couldn’t read the small screen upside down before she had the phone to her ear. “Hey, Lisa, just wanted to say good morning. I owe you dinner for the grand slam in yesterday afternoon’s tennis match. I always get myself in trouble with losers. Talk to you later.”

  KD glanced at her watch. “You’ve got fifteen minutes until Haley gets here. Any last requests?” She grinned at the women.

  Sam didn’t miss a beat. “For you to get the fuck out of my building.”

  KD slapped Sam across the face. “It’ll be nice not having to put up with your smart mouth any longer.” She stared out of the narrow front window. “Ah, the last member of the crew arrives. If either of you move, it’ll be a tossup who I shoot. Understand?”

  “Yes,” Sam said as Kelly nodded. She was in agony as she waited for Tambor to park and take her tote bag out of the trunk.

  Tambor walked in the front door, struggling to clip her keys on the strap inside of her bag. “Whose piece of shit car is that in my usual parking space?” The question died on her lips when she looked up and saw the gun in KD’s hand and the blood on Sam’s face. She dropped her bag and threw up her hands. “I have a child. Take anything I got but don’t hurt us.”

  “How about if I take out your boss and her friend here? You going to do anything to try to stop me?” KD motioned Tambor to join the others around the low table. “Cell phone?” She held out her hand.

  Tambor pulled her phone from her skirt pocket and tossed it to KD.

  They all stared at one another.

  “Are we still not supposed to move?” Sam asked.

  “God, Sam,” Kelly said.

  “How about if I throw you across this desk, shove this gun up your butt, and pull the trigger?” KD asked.

  “I guess I’d get a bang out of it.” Sam wished she could stop. What was wrong with her? At least she kept KD’s attention off the other two.

  “I hear a vehicle,” Kelly said.

  KD looked out front. “It’s Haley. She’s stopping, waiting for you to come out.” A horn honked once.

  KD turned to Kelly. “Wave her i
n from the door.”

  Kelly stood and stumbled with her first step. She caught herself on Sam’s shoulder.

  “Don’t do anything crazy. Help’s coming,” Sam whispered.

  “Quiet!” KD said.

  Kelly approached the double glass doors leading to the air lock of the vestibule.

  “That’s far enough.”

  Kelly motioned Haley to come inside.

  KD watched. “She’s holding up her hands, now pointing at her watch. Do it again, Kelly.” KD nodded. “She’s cussing. She’s coming in.” KD waited until Haley was through both sets of doors. “Good morning.”

  Haley froze. She stared from Kelly to KD.

  “I’m so sorry,” Kelly said.

  “She had no choice,” Sam said.

  “Don’t be shy.” KD waved them to gather around the table. “I’m just trying to decide what order to shoot everyone in.”

  Haley reached for Kelly’s hand.

  “How sweet,” KD said. She looked toward the main road of the industrial park and saw the first county police car arrive and block the entrance to the building’s parking lot. She turned to Sam. “Your call to Lisa?”

  Sam nodded.

  “Nothing ever changes, does it, you interfering cunt?” KD said.

  “Nope.” Sam knew in that moment that she was going to die. She knew her friends would follow. She had made the mistake of thinking her time on earth was limitless now that she had found Lisa.

  It was as though KD read Sam’s mind. “It’s been real, and it’s been fun, but I can’t say it’s been real fun.”

  KD took aim and fired the gun.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  Ava sat on the bench beneath the towering oak trees, hands folded on her lap, staring across the courtyard toward her building. She watched a fellow resident filling the half-dozen birdfeeders scattered about the park-like setting. She looked to her right when she heard approaching footsteps, smiled, and patted the bench beside her.

  Sam sat down.

  “Your cast is off,” Ava said as gently as coaxing a wounded animal to approach.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Sam nodded for extra emphasis. “My arm is almost back to normal.” The breath caught in the back of her throat. “Normal.” She said the word again as though from a foreign language.