She raised her dark eyebrows and he wished for the first time she wouldn’t wear so much make-up. ‘In that case, I’m glad you kissed me. If you need more reassurance, you know where I live.’ She lifted the lid on the casserole. ‘Perhaps we should eat before this goes cold.’
Luke’s lips twitched. He could rely on Anthea. But had he really resolved anything?
* * *
On Wednesday morning, Luke was called away to the maternity ward for an emergency Caesarean birth just after ten a.m. So it was just Ellie and June. Ellie saw any of the women who arrived before June could reschedule their appointments for later in the day.
One of Luke’s clients didn’t have an appointment but had come anyway. Mrs Hollows was thirty-five and this was her first baby.
‘We’ll have to reschedule your appointment, Mrs Hollows, but in the meantime, I’m Ellie, Dr Farrell’s midwife.’
‘Hello, Ellie, I’m Louise.’ The blonde woman smiled and sat down on the chair in Ellie’s room. ‘He’s a dish, isn’t he?’ Ellie blinked but didn’t need to search for words because Louise was happy to keep talking. ‘Luke was the most eligible bachelor in town until Anthea Roberts struck gold. Lucky woman. Anyway, I shouldn’t gossip, and I’m not due for a real appointment today. I’ve come because I do have a couple of questions to ask Luke and he said to come in any time I was worried.’
Ellie smiled encouragingly. ‘So you should. Maybe I can help. I’ll try, anyway.’
Louise looked a little shamefaced. ‘It’s taken my husband and I ten years to fall pregnant with this baby, though it feels like for ever. Now that we’ve actually passed the thirty-week stage, I guess I’m stressing that everything is going to be all right.’
Ellie remembered her own pregnancy. ‘It’s usual for a first-time mum and even a fifth-time mum to feel that way. You said you had a couple of questions. It’s your job as a mother to find out about things that worry you in your pregnancy. That’s why I’m here.’
As far as Ellie was concerned, Louise wanting to ask questions was perfectly normal. ‘So are you feeling the baby move?’
A beatific smile spread across Louise’s face. ‘Oh, yes, especially when I’m in bed. Baby kicks quite hard sometimes and my husband has even felt her kick in bed at night.’ She looked up confidingly. ‘We had an amniocentesis so we know it’s a girl.’ She shrugged and went on. ‘One of the things I worry about is that she doesn’t seem to kick as much through the day.’
Ellie nodded. ‘People usually feel their baby is more active at night because during the day they’re busier and distracted by people and noise and other activities. At night, when you finally stop moving and the lights are out, you notice the baby’s movements more. If you slowed down your activity in the day and rested more, you would feel more movements. Does your baby have a special awake time when you notice her most?’
Louise laughed. ‘Two a.m. She often wakes me then. I hope that doesn’t mean she’s a night owl.’
‘I’ve found that the routines babies establish in the womb are often carried over after they’re born.’ Ellie smiled. ‘I’m betting baby has a two a.m. feed in mind when you take her home from the hospital.’
‘I wouldn’t care if she did,’ Louise said. ‘I just can’t wait until I can hold my baby. And then I would be able to see that she’s all right.’ She looked across at Ellie and bit her lip. ‘I know this sounds stupid, but last night I dreamt my baby wasn’t normal.’
Ellie nodded. ‘It’s not stupid at all. It’s horrible when that happens. I remember before my son was born, I dreamt he had no hands. It was really strange and upset me for days because I couldn’t tell him that it was OK and as his mother I’d love him anyway.’ She grinned. ‘Of course, when he was born he did have hands but I must admit that was the first thing I looked for.’
‘So it’s normal to have a scary dream like that?’ Louise looked hopefully at Ellie, who nodded.
‘It’s more common than you imagine. And there are other types of dreams you can have, too.’ Ellie grinned. ‘Especially towards the end of your pregnancy when your libido can have a surge that takes your husband by surprise.’
Louise blushed. ‘It’s funny you should say that. I wasn’t going to ask Luke about that—he and my husband are good friends—but I can ask you.’ She lowered her voice. ‘Is it dangerous to make love this far into the pregnancy? I was beginning to think that my husband didn’t find me attractive. Then he said he was scared he might hurt the baby if we made love. That’s not true. Is it?’
Ellie shook her head. ‘But again that’s a normal reaction to a first pregnancy and especially such a precious one as this.’ She leaned across and whispered in Louise’s ear. ‘Men worry they’re going to poke the baby in the head.’
‘That’s what he said.’ They both laughed and Ellie could tell Louise was relieved to have discussed it. But there was some care to be taken.
‘Have you had any bleeding in this pregnancy?’
Louise nodded. ‘At eight and twelve weeks I had a little spotting.’ She shuddered. ‘We actually thought we’d lose the baby then.’
‘It’s the most common time for miscarriage.’ Ellie rested her hand on lightly on Louise’s knee for a second in sympathy for what must have been a worrying time. She couldn’t imagine her life without Josh in it. ‘For some women it’s normal to spot some blood at the time their usual period would be due if they weren’t pregnant. That’s how some women don’t realise they are pregnant until quite late in their pregnancy. They think they’re having a lighter period so can’t be pregnant.’
But the conversation did beg the question. Ellie bit her lip. ‘Does that mean you haven’t made love all pregnancy?’ Louise shook her head forlornly and Ellie smiled. ‘So how’s your husband?’
‘Anguished.’ They both laughed. ‘And to tell you the truth, so am I. I miss that special closeness.’
Ellie gave Louise a direct look. ‘As long as making gentle love isn’t painful for you, it would be quite safe. Have a play around with positions to find the most comfortable ones.’ Both women smiled. ‘You may even experience a few tightenings in your tummy afterwards. But unless your doctor has banned it for another reason, there’s no reason to avoid making love. Towards the end of pregnancy, it’s even good for softening your cervix to prepare you for labour. But at this stage of pregnancy your body won’t let that happen.’
Louise’s eyes sparkled and she stood up. ‘Thank you, Ellie. I really enjoyed talking to you and I do feel much better now.’
‘That’s great, Louise. Remember you can ring me, too.
‘I will. Say hello to Luke for me. Lucky you to work with him.’ She grinned wickedly. ‘I’ll be in to see him next week for my usual appointment.’
Just as they moved into the empty waiting room, Luke pushed open the door from the car park and smiled at them both.
‘I see you’ve met Ellie,’ he said. Louise grinned back as she searched blindly for her car keys in her bag.
‘I have. Now, don’t lose her because I love her already.’ She held up her keyring in satisfaction and waved to them both. ‘See you Monday.’
‘Bye,’ Luke and Ellie chorused, and then the door shut behind her. Because June hadn’t expected him back so early, there were no more patients scheduled until after lunch. June was in the kitchen, washing up as Ellie had made them both coffee as a peace offering. Luke and Ellie were alone and an awkward silence settled over them before Luke turned towards his room and beckoned Ellie to follow him.
‘So tell me what Louise wanted, and who else came in while I was out.’ He spoke over his shoulder as he slipped his keys into his desk drawer.
‘We’ve been discussing sex.’ Ellie’s voice held a hint of mischief and then she reeled off the names of three other women who had been to see her while he’d been out.
Luke turned back to face her. ‘Really?’
‘Really what?’ Ellie sat down in his client’s chair and crossed her legs. She saw Luk
e follow the movement of her ankles and her stomach tightened. He wasn’t immune to her and morally she shouldn’t be glad about that—but she was. She dragged her mind back to the conversation. ‘Who were the women? Or was I really discussing sex with your patient?’
One foot swung back then forward, and he realised why her stockings matched her skin. She wasn’t wearing any.
Then she sent his brain reeling again. ‘You always were a gentleman, Luke. Too much so.’ An unspoken memory hung in the air between them for a moment before she went on. ‘But you need to make sure your women know they can make love during their pregnancy.’
Maybe if he hadn’t been a gentleman all those years ago, everything might have turned out differently. He closed his eyes for a second and deliberately controlled his impulse to pull Ellie into his arms and kiss the mischief away from those teasing lips of hers.
Having her here was a bad idea all round. But he hadn’t felt so alive in years. He tried to picture Anthea and he could see the outline of her but her face wouldn’t come into focus. Suddenly life was more complicated than he’d intended and it was all Ellie’s fault.
‘Have I met the woman who had the Caesarean today?’ Ellie’s voice brought him back to the present and he grasped the change of subject with relief. He visualised the pale face of the woman he’d operated on.
‘No. Sally Carter was thirty-seven weeks pregnant with a sudden retro-placental bleed.’
He sat on the corner of the desk. ‘Her husband fell off his motorbike in front of her. She panicked and lifted the bike off him in a surge of adrenaline.’ He shook his head at the wonders a body could perform in an emergency. ‘She’s only a little woman. Luckily they live in town and when she felt the pain straight after, the ambulance brought her in, too.’
All humour was gone from Ellie’s face. ‘And the baby?’
‘He’s had a rough morning and is still a couple of weeks early, but I’d say he’ll be fine. I was going to ship him out to the base hospital, but if we can keep up the staffing for a midwife to stay with him in the nursery, then he can remain with his mum. Sally’s pretty blown away by it all.’
‘I’ll bet. We had a little one last year in Sydney who died when the placenta separated prematurely from the wall of the uterus. Everyone was devastated. What about Sally’s husband?’
‘Bill’s fine. Cracked a couple of ribs and burnt his ankle where the bike trapped him, but well enough to sit with his wife and stare at their son.’ Luke remembered the awe on Bill’s face at his child’s tiny hands and feet. ‘It could all have ended tragically, but I’d lay odds that some of Bill’s immaturity was knocked out of him today.’ He stood up.
‘I’m off to lunch—do you want to join me? We can have an extra half-hour and you’ll still have time to visit Josh’s school.’ He regretted the invitation as soon as he’d offered it. For his own peace of mind, he needed less time with his practice nurse, not more. But there were things he had to find out.
Ellie uncrossed her legs and stood up. ‘Sounds good. Can we still go next door if I don’t have a burger?’ He dragged his eyes away from her smile and nodded.
* * *
Luke watched Ellie crunch her way though the plate of fries she’d ordered, and when she licked the salt from her fingers it brought back memories of other nights they’d had take-aways down at the cove. Other nights he’d suggested a restaurant and she’d preferred just the two of them. He said the first thing that came into his head to get his mind away from the past.
‘So, are you planning to settle down in Bell’s River or move on, like your mother, when the time comes?’ It had all the subtlety of a sledgehammer but was probably the biggest question he had and his best chance for staying faithful to Anthea.
Her gaze lifted to his. ‘I’m not my mother, Luke.’ She brushed her hands together to get rid of the last of the salt. ‘Are you asking me as my employer or because we were once friends?’
He couldn’t believe she could be so laid-back about their past.
He leaned across the table towards her. His fingers tightened as he crumpled the empty can of soda in his hand. His voice was low and the tinge of sarcasm wasn’t like him. ‘We were more than friends—I asked you to marry me!’ She sat back in her chair and he dropped the can on its side and sat back in the chair himself. ‘But that’s beside the point.’
She frowned and shook her head. ‘That was a long time ago. I may be presumptuous here, Luke, but I need to state that I’m not looking for a relationship. Josh is my life. And you’re engaged.’
‘Thank you for reminding me,’ he said dryly. ‘I wasn’t asking for an affair, my life is too complicated for that, I was asking if you can see yourself living here for ever.’
‘Why do you need to know?’ she said.
He watched her bite her lip and when he didn’t answer, couldn’t answer, he saw her shrug.
When she said, ‘I don’t think so,’ he didn’t know whether to be relieved or devastated.
She looked away. ‘It’s harder than I thought to come back to somewhere you have memories.’
Luke felt a fierce anger pierce his gut at her admission and his voice hardened again. ‘So you do have good memories from here?’
She glared at him impatiently. ‘Cut me a break, Luke. I was barely seventeen when I left. You were this god who not only deigned to talk to me but treated me like a princess. We fell in lust and had some fabulous times. Then I moved on.’ She looked away.
His voice dropped. ‘You promised you would come back in five years. And you didn’t come back.’
She refused to meet his eyes. ‘There were reasons and I don’t think anything I say will change that. I’d rather not discuss it.’
‘Fine. Let’s not discuss it. Tell me about your husband.’
He didn’t know why he was putting himself through this unless he thought he’d be able to walk away more easily if he could understand why she hadn’t come back.
He watched her face soften and jealousy surged up where it had no right to be.
‘Steve was a good man.’ She turned the silver ring on her left hand. ‘We went to uni together to do our nursing and became very close. When I was married to him it was like living with my best friend. Both his parents had died and the saddest thing was that he wasn’t alive to see the son he’d wanted so badly.’
Luke was sorry he’d asked. He didn’t know what he’d expected to hear, but it wasn’t marital bliss. Served him right.
Ellie pushed her plate away. ‘So what have you been doing for the last ten years?’ Her question caught him off guard. He wasn’t the only one who wanted answers.
He laughed, and the sound almost stuck in his throat. You mean after I found out you were never coming back to me? He didn’t say it. ‘I went to England for O and G and came back here just over a year ago to help my father in the practice. He was sick and I should have come back sooner. Dad died and then Travis went missing a few months later.’ He looked away from the sympathy in her eyes. ‘It’s been hard for my mother and I’ve tried to be there for her. One day I woke up and realised I was thirty-two years old and didn’t have any life except for my work. That was when I started going out with Anthea.’
‘So, tell me about Anthea.’ Her voice was almost too bright.
He couldn’t see himself calmly discussing Anthea with Ellie. ‘I don’t think so. I’m sure you’ll meet her at the surgery one day when she drops in to visit me.’
Ellie stood up and he watched her take the money for her lunch from her purse and put it on the table in front of him. She gave that half-wave but didn’t say anything as she walked away and he stared after her. The worst of it was he was just as besotted by her as he’d been ten years ago. But the attraction was definitely one way—she had moved on. He’d be better to forget the past. She obviously had.
Ellie’s feet tapped on the pavement as she walked. She didn’t really want to know how Luke had fallen in love with his fiancée anyway. What she needed to k
now was how her son was going at school today. The conversation had given her indigestion and she’d do well to remember that if he asked her to lunch again.
* * *
Back at the surgery, the afternoon list was a nightmare. Patients were banked back to the door to see Luke, and Ellie couldn’t see how the clinic could finish much before six o’clock. Which was a nuisance, because the hospital had rung and asked her to do a night duty that night and the next and she needed to arrange for Josh to stay over at the Judds’.
Finally the waiting room was empty. The last patient for the day was Summer Brown. Summer was expecting twins in three weeks, and even with that time to go, Ellie winced when she saw how big the young woman’s stomach was.
‘Hi, Summer. I’m Ellie, the midwife. How’re you feeling?’
Summer pushed a strand of blonde hair off her forehead in a tired gesture. ‘Exhausted. And I’m dreading the next few weeks.’ She sank into the chair and held out her arm for Ellie to take her blood pressure.
Ellie smiled at Summer’s obvious experience with antenatal visits. ‘I see on your card you’ve two other preschoolers at home. Have you someone to help you through the day?’
‘Not through the day, but at night, after he’s finished work, my husband is wonderful. So I put my feet up most of the evening.’
Ellie whistled sympathetically. ‘Have you thought about contacting a community group like Grannies Anonymous?’
Summer shook her head and her bemused look encouraged Ellie to explain. ‘It’s a free service and not means-tested. The group is made up of older ladies whose children have grown up and they have some spare time on their hands. A coordinator matches them to a family just to give you someone to help with the children. They don’t do cleaning or housework, but will amuse the other children if you need a lie-down in the afternoon or want them to take the little ones to the park.’
‘Are you sure we have a group like that in Bell’s River? It sounds too good to be true.’
‘My neighbour is part of one and she was telling me about it. She and her husband are wonderful with my son.’
Delivering Secrets Page 4
