Delivering Secrets

by Fiona McArthur

  Ellie squeezed Mavis’s leg. ‘Relax. Stop thinking and stressing about if and when you go into labour. You can’t wish yourself into labour, but you can stop your body making it happen by being tense.’

  Mavis sighed. ‘But how can you forget about something like this?’

  ‘Luke is not going to let you go longer than a week probably because your last baby was so big. So tell yourself that by this time next week you won’t be pregnant any more. Drop your shoulders and sigh. It’s going to happen, one way or another. And if you can let it all go, you’ll probably go into labour. Trust your body. It knows what it’s doing and at the moment it thinks there’s too much tension around so it can’t be safe to go into labour.’

  ‘OK. I’ll try. I’ll go for a walk and then have a relaxing bath and maybe just cuddle up to my husband tonight.’ She grinned. ‘We both need the sleep.’

  Ellie heard Luke’s door open and she stood up. ‘Sounds great. I work Thursday and Friday nights at the hospital so I’ll either catch you this week or next week.’ She hugged Mavis. ‘Trust your body and good luck.’

  The phone rang and Ellie picked it up. ‘Hello.’

  ‘There’s a private call for you.’ June’s voice didn’t hold its usual disapproval so maybe their friendship was improving.

  ‘Thank you. Put it through, please, June.’ She waved to Mavis.

  ‘Thanks, Ellie.’ Mavis turned away and allowed Luke to guide her into his room. He glared at the phone in her hand but didn’t look at Ellie. Things between them had been a tad strained since last night’s visit, and now he probably thought she had private calls all the time. She shrugged.

  It was Belinda. Technically that wasn’t a private call anyway, Ellie assured herself. ‘Hi, Belinda. What can I do for you?’

  ‘Sorry to ring you at work, Ellie, but I wondered if I could come around this afternoon and have a talk to you. Something really strange has happened.’

  Ellie’s brows snapped together. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘It has nothing to do with my pregnancy or my health—just something strange.’ Her voice sounded breathless and excited.

  Ellie consoled herself that Belinda had said it was nothing to do with her health. ‘OK. I’ll be home at about six. You can have a meal with Josh and me, whatever I bring home for tea.’

  ‘Great. I’ll see you then. Bye.’

  ‘Bye.’ Ellie broke the connection but stared at the phone in her hand. She wondered what all that was about.

  * * *

  When Ellie went to have lunch with Josh, she thought he looked a little flat. ‘You OK, Mr Diamond?’

  Josh nodded and yawned. ‘Just had a busy morning.’

  ‘OK, sweetie.’ Ellie cuddled him up to her as they ate their sandwiches. ‘By the way, my friend Belinda is coming to have tea with us tonight. She’s having a baby soon and she has a big tummy.’

  His eyes brightened. ‘If her tummy moves, do you think she’ll let me feel it? Jake Smith’s mummy has a baby in her tummy and Jake said he could feel it moving inside like a worm.’

  Ellie suppressed her smile. ‘Wow. That sounds weird. But we’ll ask her—OK?’ Josh nodded and Ellie collected their rubbish and put it in the bin. ‘Well, I have to go, Josh.’ She tapped the colourful watch on his wrist. ‘See you in four hours.’

  She arrived back at work with a few minutes to spare. June was at the desk and the waiting room was empty. There was no sign of Luke.

  ‘How was your lunch, June?’ Before June looked away Ellie thought she detected the sheen of tears in her eyes.

  Ellie stopped. ‘You know, June, we work together three days a week so we should be friends. And I know nothing about you.’ June didn’t answer and Ellie perched on the side of the receptionist’s desk. She stared at her own shoes as if she hadn’t seen June’s tears. ‘Have you any children, June?’

  With that, June pushed back her chair, burst into tears and stumbled off to the lunch-room. The sound of the door as it slammed echoed through the surgery. Ellie blinked and sighed.

  Now she’d really upset June but the woman had been looking more unhappy every day since Ellie had started work and Ellie hated being at odds with people. She got up and knocked gently on the lunch-room door. ‘June. Let me in.’

  The lock unsnicked and Ellie pushed open the door. June was leaning on the sink, staring down into the dirty washing-up water. ‘That’s what my life is like.’ She didn’t turn around and she ran her fingers through the water. ‘Murky.’

  Ellie reached past her and pulled out the plug. ‘Well, let it go down the plughole.’ She put her hand carefully on June’s shoulder, half expecting to be pushed away, but June didn’t shrug her off. Ellie turned the tap on and fresh water ran down the plughole after the suds.

  ‘Now, that’s what life is like. Let the bad stuff go and fill it again with fresh stuff. Something’s wrong and I think you should let it out.’

  June let out the closest thing to a laugh that Ellie had ever heard. ‘You know, I really wanted to hate you, because I remember the change in Luke when he said you weren’t coming back.’ She turned to face Ellie. ‘But it’s just too hard.’ She reached over for a tissue and blew her nose. ‘I’m feeling better now. Thanks for your concern, Ellie. We’ll talk another day.’

  June straightened her shoulders and slid past Ellie in the narrow room to return to her desk. Ellie stared after her. June wasn’t so bad after all. And as far as work relations went, it was another step forward towards harmony. If she’d realised what June had wanted to share with her, she might not have been so pleased with her day.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  ‘PIZZAS and salad, and yogurt for dessert? Sound OK, Josh?’ Ellie stared down at her son as he pushed the half-sized trolley the supermarket supplied for children. He nodded without his usual enthusiasm and Ellie felt his forehead. He wasn’t hot.

  She was being paranoid. Nurses were the worst for imagining all sorts of illnesses. ‘Let’s go home, mate. An early night for you, I think.’

  Belinda came not long after they arrived home. Ellie had the salad made and the pizza in the oven. Belinda and Josh circled each other for a while but then they found a mutual love of pregnant tummies.

  When Ellie walked out of the kitchen with the cooked pizza she could see them both on the lounge, Josh lying with his cheek on Belinda’s stomach. They were smiling at the little movements that made his head rise and fall. Josh yawned.

  ‘Come and have your tea, guys. Then it’s off to bed for you, Josh.’

  ‘Aw, Mum.’ He spoilt his complaint with another yawn.

  ‘I know, but Belinda will come again, won’t you, Belinda?’

  Belinda nodded at Josh. ‘And in a couple of weeks I’ll be able to bring my baby for you to see.’

  His eyes brightened. ‘Will I be able to play with him?’

  Belinda and Ellie laughed. ‘It might be a her,’ his mother said.

  ‘Well, can I play with it?’

  ‘Sure,’ said Belinda. ‘But new babies sleep a lot and they’re pretty floppy. They grow up quickly, though.’

  Nobody said much more as Ellie and Belinda munched their way through their tea and Josh pushed his plate away with only one bite taken. ‘I’m not hungry.’

  Ellie frowned. This wasn’t like Josh. ‘How about some yogurt?’

  His chair scraped out from the table. ‘Can I take it to school instead?’

  ‘Sure, honey.’ Ellie stood up. ‘Excuse us, Belinda. I’ll just help Josh get ready for bed. He’s almost asleep on his feet.’

  By the time she’d returned to the table, Belinda had cleared away and washed the dishes. Leftovers were covered with cling wrap and the kettle was boiling.

  ‘Hey, you’re the pregnant one. I’m supposed to spoil you.’ Ellie couldn’t believe how quickly she’d restored order to the kitchen.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind.’ Belinda had set two cups out with coffee and milk.

  Ellie gave Belinda’s shoulders a quick squ
eeze. ‘Mind? I think you’re wonderful. Thank you. Let’s have some chocolate with this. I’ve still got some of my neighbour’s brownies in this jar.’ She stared thoughtfully at the half-full jar.

  ‘Now that I come to think about it, Josh usually eats them all before I can get one. He really is off his food.’ She shelved that worry for after Belinda’s visit and carried the coffee and cookie jar into the lounge room.

  ‘So tell me what’s happened. You sounded quite unnerved when you rang.’

  Belinda pulled the big shoulder-bag she’d brought out from beside the lounge and opened it. There was a brown parcel inside. ‘This came in the mail today. It was posted locally.’

  She lifted the parcel onto her lap and opened the edges of the parcel where she’d folded it back together earlier. ‘It didn’t have any note—just these baby clothes.’

  Ellie watched as Belinda brought out the most finely crocheted baby layette she’d ever seen. The pattern was lace-like in its intricacy and the tiny bonnet, bootees and jacket were in the palest ivory. A hand-stitched ivory dress was folded below the set and a tiny gold bracelet was clamped around two beautifully embroidered bibs. The circular shawl was as perfect as a spider’s web. It was a labour of love and must have taken the creator months to assemble.

  ‘I don’t know who could have sent it.’ Belinda rubbed the soft shawl against her cheek.

  Ellie was stunned. ‘Do you think it was Mrs Farrell?’

  ‘She’d have put in a note so that I could thank her. And anything she gave a grandchild of hers would have expensive labels on it.’ The trace of bitterness reminded Ellie about the other problem. How to keep Elsa Farrell out of Belinda’s birth environment and Luke from finding out Belinda disliked his mother so intensely. She rubbed her forehead.

  Ellie stroked the shawl. ‘What about relatives? Have you got any relatives that know you’re pregnant?’

  Belinda shook her head. ‘I was adopted and both of my adopted parents are dead.’

  ‘What about your natural mother?’

  ‘I tried to find her but she didn’t want to be contacted.’ Belinda bit her lip then met Ellie’s eyes. ‘Someone could have bought it already made. The person who sent it doesn’t have to be a woman.’

  Ellie blinked. ‘What are you getting at?’

  ‘They never found Travis’s body.’ A chill ran down Ellie’s neck. Belinda said the words almost defiantly and Ellie suppressed another shiver. The silence lengthened between them and then Belinda started to talk.

  ‘It’s not that hard to see. Travis was a good swimmer and he and Luke have swum in that cove since they were children. Don’t you think it would be strange for him to drown there?’

  Ellie drifted for a moment when she realised that Travis had probably drowned at the cove that she always thought of as hers and Luke’s. She glanced back at Belinda who hadn’t noticed Ellie’s lapse of concentration.

  ‘They kept telling me it was an accident, as if I’d ever think that Travis would take his own life. He got fed up, but he wanted to do so many things. He’d never deliberately put an end to the possibilities in his life.’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘Though he did say his mother would drive him to do something drastic one day.’

  Ellie was struggling to keep up. ‘So what has this got to do with the layette?’ Ellie didn’t think she really wanted to know, but Belinda was her friend and she would stick by her.

  ‘I think Travis is alive.’ Belinda stopped suddenly, as if that was the first time she’d heard the words out loud.

  She looked up at Ellie and her eyes filled with tears. ‘I’ve always thought that but I’ve never told anyone. You won’t tell Luke I said this, will you?’

  Oh, heck, thought Ellie. ‘It’s OK. I understand. Unless you want me to, I won’t say anything about this to Luke.’ Another thing she had to keep from him.

  Belinda nodded but Ellie had a premonition there had to be more. ‘There’s another reason that you think that Travis is alive. Isn’t there?’

  Belinda nodded again. ‘The day he disappeared he told me he’d be there for me when the baby was born. No matter what! He said that out of the blue. And I believed him. I’ve clung to that. And the fact that they never even found the surfboard or the clothes he was wearing either.’

  Ellie’s eyes widened even though the ‘evidence’ was extremely flimsy.

  Belinda went on. ‘I didn’t notice about the clothes for a while but when I did I realised that I never had believed he was dead.’ She looked at Ellie. ‘I tried to tell Luke but he just kept hugging me and saying that he found it hard to believe, too.’

  Ellie spoke slowly. ‘So if he’s alive—where is he?’

  Belinda’s voice held conviction. ‘He’s somewhere making a fresh start for us. Somewhere away from his mother’s influence!’

  Ellie closed her eyes for a second and tried to be supportive. ‘That seems a bit extreme to me.’

  ‘You don’t understand.’ Belinda shook her head. ‘When we first got married, she hounded us. Travis was supposed to be studying to be an accountant but he hated it. One day he found a job in a boatyard which he loved. He was building a yacht in his spare time and we were going to sail the South Pacific until we had a family.’

  Ellie tried not to sigh at their idealism.

  ‘When his mother found out where he was working she went and saw his boss and the next thing Travis was out of work. Travis said the place we’d have to move to wasn’t good enough, so he came home to sort things out with his mother. It was only going to be for a short time until he found another job. But every time it looked like we could move away, something bad happened.

  ‘Then I found out I was pregnant and it looked like we were going to be trapped for ever unless he could get away and clear our feet.’

  Ellie was far from convinced. ‘I’m sorry, Belinda. But I don’t think that’s a good enough reason for Travis to put his family through an unnecessary memorial service.’

  Belinda bit her lip. ‘You don’t know what that woman is capable of!’

  Ellie froze. Yes, she did. Meddling in people’s lives didn’t bother her at all. But the story was still too farfetched. The doorbell rang at that moment and they both jumped.

  Belinda stared as if the ghost of Mrs Farrell was waiting outside and even Ellie felt a little unnerved by the timing. She got up and peered through the glass. It was June. Despite their earlier conversation, Ellie was still surprised to find the receptionist on her doorstep at eight o’clock at night.

  June stood at Ellie’s door with her hands clasped together as if to stop herself from shaking, and her usually pale face was ashen.

  ‘June?’ Ellie opened the screen door. ‘Come in. You look really upset again.’ Ellie stood back to invite her in but then June saw that there was someone else in the lounge room.

  ‘You’ve got a visitor,’ she whispered.

  Ellie lowered her voice. ‘Yes. Belinda Farrell is here, having tea with me.’

  June stepped back away from the door. ‘I’ll come back another time. I should have rung first.’

  Ellie sympathised with the woman who obviously had something she wanted to talk about. ‘It’s up to you. You’re welcome to join us, or come back another time.’

  June shook her head. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m sorry for interrupting.’ She hurried away and Ellie stared after her. This was turning out to be a very strange day. She went back inside to her other guest.

  Belinda was licking the chocolate from the brownie off her fingers. Ellie reached for one herself—she needed a hit of sugar! Thank goodness for Lil Judd.

  Belinda took another brownie. ‘Who was that?’

  ‘Luke’s receptionist.’ Ellie frowned at the chocolate stuck on her fingers. ‘I’ll catch up with her tomorrow.’

  ‘She’s a bit of a sweetie, that lady.’ Belinda’s speech was garbled with food but the meaning was clear enough.

  Ellie blinked and leant her head back against the lounge. ‘June?’ W
ere they talking about the same woman? ‘Isn’t that interesting? I would have thought she was usually sour.’

  Belinda shrugged. ‘She’s always really sweet to me, but maybe that’s because I’m related to her boss.’

  Belinda stayed another half hour and then left. She looked happier now that she had told someone her suspicions about Travis.

  Ellie’s head was spinning and she couldn’t help worrying what she would say or couldn’t say to Luke. If by some bizarre chance Travis was alive, then Ellie even felt sorry for the anguish caused to his mother, let alone Luke. How the heck could she keep this from Luke?

  But Ellie feared Belinda was clutching at straws that should have been snipped months ago. She hoped her friend wasn’t heading for postpartum depression when Travis didn’t turn up at the birth. Or worse, even a severe psychosis.

  Ellie sighed and went in to see Josh. He seemed to be sleeping comfortably and his brow still wasn’t hot when she felt it. She dropped a kiss on his forehead and went into her own room. She’d hear him if he called out, and tomorrow would be another busy day.

  * * *

  Ellie spent most of the night tossing and turning. A lot of it was to do with Belinda’s startling confidences but most of her insomnia could be laid at the feet of Dr Luke Farrell. Then there was Josh’s mystery malaise. Ellie felt like the weight of the world was sitting on her shoulders, squashing her into the ground.

  In the morning, Josh was well again. He ate his cereal and seemed keen to take his yogurt for lunch, and Ellie scolded herself for being paranoid about his health.

  Still, she mentioned his lethargy of yesterday to his teacher. Apparently it wasn’t uncommon for children just starting preschool to be really tired for the first few weeks. Ellie felt better but still asked to be contacted if the school had any worries.

  It was close to eight-thirty and she hurried into the surgery with one minute to spare then chastised herself for not remembering she should have come earlier to talk to June. But the receptionist’s face wore her usual deadpan expression. ‘Hi, June. Sorry about last night.’