“You’re a real Inspector Gadget, aren’t you?”
“Sorry...I just wanted to find you. Aneetra mentioned you might be in Mississippi, but I didn’t think it was plausible at the time. Did you tell your grandmother about the baby?”
“No. Believe it or not, I told her my apartment was being fumigated.”
Troy laughed. “Was that the best you could do?”
“At the time. I don’t think she believed me anyhow. She knows the truth now—well, not about the baby, but she knows I came down here to get away for a while.”
“I hope you’re having a nice time. Baby, I hate to get off the phone, but I have to. Please call me the minute you get back because I really want to see you.”
“I will.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”
“All right, goodbye.” Natalie held the phone in her hand for a few minutes, trying to make sense of everything that had taken place. Was Troy pulling her leg or did he sincerely have feelings for her? She didn’t know what to think. She wasn’t going to get her hopes up only to be let down again.
“Hey, it’s Natalie,” she said when she called Dennison.
“Oh my goodness, girl! Where are you?” Aneetra lowered her voice as though she wanted to keep anyone else from overhearing her conversation.
“I’m in Mississippi.”
“I thought you might be going there. I have a friend who works in personnel and I asked her to check your file to see if your grandmother’s name and number were listed as an emergency contact.”
“It’s not.”
“I kind of figured that out already,” Aneetra kidded. “Have you spoken with Troy?”
“Yes, and he told me that he called you one night.”
“One night? Girl, that man has been calling me like a bill collector. So, is everything all right? You had me pretty worried.”
“Yeah, I just needed to get out of town. I lost the baby...” she revealed.
“What! Oh, Natalie, I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It was hard at first, but I’m dealing with things slowly. So what’s been going on at the office?”
“The same ol’ stuff.”
“I know I’ll have a ton of work to catch up on when I come back.”
“Don’t worry, you won’t. I got your back. Have you spoken with Alex at all?”
“No. I left her a message saying I would be gone for a while. Why?”
“Just wondering. In your message, did you say anything about losing the baby?”
“No.”
“How long do you plan on staying in Mississippi?”
“I was going to stay until the end of the week, but maybe I should leave today so I can come back to work tomorrow. Your bringing up Alex makes me think my job may be in jeopardy.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to frighten you. Initially I was concerned about you losing your job, but I didn’t know about the miscarriage then. Don’t worry, anything medical-related does qualify as emergency leave. You traveled all that way, no need to rush back now. If you want, I’ll mention to Alex that we’ve spoken. I’ll just tell her that you’re having some personal issues and needed to get away. You can fill her in on whatever details you wish when you return.”
“Sure, if you don’t mind...”
“Naw, I don’t mind at all. She’s not in today, but I’ll talk to her when she comes in tomorrow. You know she likes me, so I’m sure whatever I say to her will carry a lot of weight.”
“Thanks, Aneetra.”
“No problem. That’s what friends are for.”
The word friend made Natalie smile. Aneetra’s perseverance to get to know Natalie had paid off. With her kind and consistent efforts, she’d managed to penetrate Natalie’s heart to the point where Natalie felt proud and extremely blessed to have her as a friend. “Guess what?”
“What?”
“I got saved yesterday!”
“Are you serious?”
“Um-hmm.”
“Oh my goodness!” Aneetra wailed. “That is so awesome! I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am to hear that.”
“I knew you would be,” she said just as her grandmother knocked on the door. “Come in.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were still on the phone,” Big Mama whispered and started to back out of the room.
“No, stay. I’m about to get off. Aneetra, I’ll give you a call later, okay?”
“That’s cool. I need to get back to work anyhow.”
“Have a good one.”
“Girl, you don’t have to worry about that. You’ve just made my day with your good news.”
Natalie laughed as she hung up the phone.
“Is everything okay?” Her grandmother took a seat next to her on the bed.
“Yes. That was a friend of mine from work. Sylvia and Richard called to tell me that Troy had been asking about me.”
“Who’s Troy?”
“My boyfriend...”
“Boyfriend, eh? I thought he was your ex-boyfriend...”
“You know what I mean...” Natalie blushed.
“This fellah must be pretty worried about you. Are you gonna let him know you’re okay?”
“I’ve talked to him already. I’m still not sure about what to think about everything, though. He did open up to me a lot. I guess that does mean something.”
“Is he saved?”
“No, I don’t think so. At least he’s never said anything about it.”
“I suggest you take some time and not try and rush this relationship. You just got saved yesterday and the devil would love to divert your attention away from Jesus and onto Troy. Start prayin’ for the young man. If he’s the one, God will eventually get his attention. You and Troy will be less likely to have such major fallouts if both of you are applying God’s word to your lives.”
“Yeah, I guess...I’m not sure if I’m willing to allow myself to get hurt by him again.”
“Remember that no one’s perfect. People are gonna disappoint you in life whether they are saved or not. We’re human so we’re gonna make mistakes. The important thing is that by trustin’ God, we put our faith in Him and not people.”
“I know.... You don’t have to worry about me, Big Mama. I’m definitely being careful this time around.” Natalie leaned her head on her grandmother’s shoulder just as a growl came from her stomach. Both she and Big Mama laughed. “Are the cheese grits still hot?”
“I don’t know about hot, but they are warm.”
“Good enough...” Natalie gave her grandmother a hug. “Thanks.”
“For what?”
“Just for everything. I love you,” she said, the initiator for the first time, making a conscious choice no longer to hold her feelings captive. In this case, love was definitely worth the risk, especially where her grandmother was concerned.
“I know you do, baby, and I love you, too.”
Chapter 29
It’s a Deal
“Natalie!” Tawanna exclaimed and wrapped her long, slender arms around her tightly. “I’m so glad you came.”
“Thanks for asking me to come.”
“Y’all ready to get started?” one of the hostesses yelled—her question really was meant as a directive.
Tawanna gently held Natalie’s arm and escorted her to a seat so the two of them could sit together. As an icebreaker, each person was asked to stand up, introduce herself and state how she knew Tawanna. When Natalie’s turn came she said, “I’ve known Tawanna probably my whole life. Our grandmothers were really good friends and we did a lot of stuff together.” Her speech was probably the shortest of all, but that was fine with her. Natalie recognized a few familiar names from
back in the day, but for the most part, she was a stranger as no one gave any sign that they recognized her.
They played several games; Natalie had so much fun she rolled with laughter as she and her teammates vied against the other women. She was glad she had come.
“So, when are you going back to Ohio?” Tawanna asked later, while waiting for her guests to finish eating so she could open her presents.
“Monday morning. I want to go to church with Big Mama one more time.”
“Miss Ida Mae will like that. I may not get to see you again before you leave. I promised a friend I would help her move this weekend. We have each other’s information, though. I’d definitely love for us to keep in tou—”
“Well, cuzzie, I gotta admit, your shower is pretty live considerin’ the fact that there ain’t no naked men.” A woman came up and loudly interrupted their conversation. Her short, blond, boyish haircut did not complement her dark, full face.
“I told you that this wasn’t gonna be that type of party. Natalie, do you remember my cousin, Kya? She used to babysit us sometimes at my grandmama’s, although most times we pretty much watched ourselves.” She laughed.
“Yes, I do.” Kya was about six years older than Natalie and Tawanna. The times when Kya had kept the girls, she had sent them upstairs or outside to play while she and her friends did their own thing.
“Oh snap...you’re that Natalie?” Kya’s voice elevated. “I heard you say somethin’ about your grandmama earlier. You’re Miss Ida Mae’s granddaughter.”
“Yep.”
“I remember you. Where you been hiding out at?” She was so loud that she drew the attention of several others to their conversation.
“In just a few minutes Tawanna will open her presents,” Monique, one of the bridesmaids, shouted.
“I live in Columbus, Ohio, now.”
“That’s right...you moved up there after you had a baby, right?”
Natalie felt the blood rush to her cheeks. She’d been managing to deal with not finding answers to what had happened to her child, but she’d never expected anyone to throw the situation back up in her face.
“Kya, I’m sure Natalie isn’t up for an interrogation right now.” Tawanna jumped in.
“Ain’t nobody tryin’ to intergate...intragi...whatever you said...I ain’t tryin’ to do that. I was just makin’ small talk.”
“Well, now is not the time for that,” Tawanna stressed.
“Then let her tell me that. She’s grown and can speak for herself.”
Natalie looked on as Kya and Tawanna went back and forth. She wanted to tell Kya to mind her own blankety-blank business, but the words jammed in her throat.
“Anyhow, as I was sayin’ before I was so rudely interrupted...I remember you now. You look good for havin’ a baby. Maybe because you were so young, huh? Yeah, Ms. Ida Mae and my grandmama thought I was the fast one between us three, but you proved them wrong.” Kya laughed loudly.
The louder Kya was, the quieter everybody else at the shower got. Natalie could feel at least a dozen pair of eyes gawking at her. Kya had viciously resurrected her pain. Her heart burned within her chest and her esophagus felt as though it was tied in knots. The hostess of the bridal shower was slowly setting the gifts in front of Tawanna, obviously digesting Kya’s words.
“Chill out, Kya,” Tawanna ordered firmly through gritted teeth and a forced smile.
“I couldn’t resist,” Kya said after she’d finished laughing. “You ain’t gotta be so uptight, Tawanna, like you don’t want me talkin’ to your girl. Natalie, you know I’m just messin’ with you, don’t you? All jokes aside, you really do look good.”
Natalie began to notice the other women whispering to each other and assumed that they had also figured out exactly who she was. She was the girl whose pregnancy had made the evening news. Now, thrust into the limelight once again, Natalie looked at Tawanna with teary eyes that apologized for making an appearance. Without saying a word, she got up and sprinted out.
“Wait!” Natalie heard Tawanna yell after her, but she didn’t dare turn back.
* * *
It was close to eleven o’clock. After driving around for a while, Natalie had stumbled across the Blue Lounge. Though tempted to go in, she sat in her car and watched others come and go as the music blared from inside the bar. She’d sat there for at least an hour, wishing she had gone back to Columbus several days ago as she had originally planned.
A steady flow of tears swam down her face as she once again relived her horrific adolescent years. She wasn’t sure whether Kya knew the particulars about her pregnancy, but she had to have sense enough to know it was a sensitive subject. Natalie wasn’t “fast,” as Kya had implied. Her virginity hadn’t been given away...it had been taken by her stepfather when she was only ten years old.
Being molested formed the darkest period of Natalie’s life. Like many children, she didn’t tell anyone. She wondered if it was somehow her fault because Jesse always accused her of flaunting it at him. Night after night he had repeatedly snuck into Natalie’s bedroom while her mother was asleep and stolen her virtue, being sure to reward her with gifts. There was nothing Natalie wanted that she didn’t get. Jesse would often encourage her to use her body and looks to get anything she desired. Sadly, it was a lesson she carried well into adulthood.
It wasn’t until a routine examination uncovered an eight-week pregnancy that Natalie was forced to admit everything. Her family was outraged, but Jesse was well known throughout the Jackson community as a politician and philanthropist. He had supporters who actually believed his concocted story that Natalie was nothing more than a teenage slut who’d gotten knocked up by some little boy at school and was afraid to tell the truth so she blamed him. To make matters worse, Jesse was never legally held accountable for his crime. He knew people in powerful positions who pulled strings and prevented charges from being brought against him. By the time their child was born, he’d left town. Natalie didn’t know what had ever become of him. She secretly hoped he was somewhere dead and buried and unable to hurt anyone else.
She’d never understood how God, who was supposed to be this Great and Mighty Being, could let something like that happen to a child. Perhaps that unanswered question was what had kept her from seeking Him all this time. Though she still didn’t understand, she couldn’t deny how much better she felt having Him in her life. She sat in her car, thinking about the devotional she’d read that morning: Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.” She didn’t know how He was going to do it, but somehow God had to help her through this.
Prior to Sunday, Natalie would have gone into the bar to drink and dance her sorrows away without any thought. Her hesitation was a sign that, even in a short amount of time, Jesus had made a difference in her life. I’m a new creation in Christ, she reminded herself and started her car while she was still strong enough to fight the temptation.
As she was about to drive off, she saw a familiar face come out of the bar seductively dressed in a tight red leather mini-skirt, knee-length boots and a tank top that came off her shoulders. It was Corrine.
The young girl looked around as though she was searching for someone, then hung her head in despair, and took a seat at the bus stop. Natalie became concerned for Corrine’s safety when she observed an older gentleman approach her. It appeared as though she refused an offer of some kind, but the guy remained persistent.
Natalie couldn’t drive away in good conscience while Corrine got hassled. She drove a few feet ahead to the bus stop and rolled down the passenger window. “Do you want a ride?”
Corrine squinted her eyes, peering into Natalie’s car. “Yes!” Her face brightened and she immediately got up from the bench, rushing by the older man.
“I take it you didn’t know him?” Natalie ask
ed after Corrine was secured inside the vehicle.
Corrine shook her head no. “He asked me if I was interested in going back to his place.”
“I’m glad you didn’t take him up on his offer. I’m sure he was up to no good. What were you doing at a bar anyhow?” she grilled, pulling away. “You’re too young and it’s very dangerous to be out alone this time of night.”
“Thanks for the ride and all, but can you spare me the lecture? I’m already gonna have to hear my mama’s mouth. The less people who tell me off, the better.”
“My bad...I didn’t mean to come at you harshly. It’s just that you could’ve gotten hurt tonight. How’d you get into the bar, anyhow?”
“My roommate got me a fake ID.” Corrine closed her eyes and laid her head back on the headrest. “Mama is going to kill me.”
“If you promise never to go to that bar again, I promise I won’t say anything to Aunt Toni about this.”
Corrine’s eyes popped open and she lifted her head. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, but you have to promise.”
“I won’t go again, I swear.”
“Then it’s a deal.”
“Cool!” Corrine exclaimed, sitting straight up. “If it weren’t for LaShina, I wouldn’t have been there anyhow.”
“Where do you want me to take you?”
“Back to campus.”
“Who is LaShina?”
“My roommate. She’s the one who left me stranded because she took off with some man. Supposedly, she was coming right back, but I haven’t seen her. She won’t even answer her cell phone. I’ve been sittin’ in there for over an hour doing nothing. The whole night was her idea. I don’t even drink. She begged me to come with her and then left me there by myself. She’d better not be at the dorm because I’m gonna strangle her if I see her tonight.”
“I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but I don’t think it’s a good idea that you go back to the dorm right now.”
“I don’t have anywhere else to go. I definitely don’t want to go to my mama’s house. I’ll be all right. If LaShina’s there, I won’t kill her, but I’m going to let her know how I feel.”
Secrets of a Sinner Page 17
