Hard Roads

by Lily White

  Confusion ran through my mind. I knew all the club brats, but yet, no matter how hard I thought back, I didn’t know him. “Who’s your dad?”

  “Mike Brooks. You probably remember him as ‘Torch’ ‘cause that’s what everybody called him.”

  Recognition hit me like a truck, but I still couldn’t remember anything about JD. His daddy was familiar and I remembered back to running around as a kid at wild parties, watching as my dad and JD’s dad sat around drinking and smoking, laughing at the stupid and foolish shit the club brothers did when they were drunk. Jokes were plentiful and lewd. Women laughed and screamed as the men teased and touched them. I was happy then, but I still couldn’t remember another child being around.

  “Sorry, I didn’t think Torch had a kid. Least not one that I remember. I was always playing by myself.”

  When he didn’t respond, I spun where I sat so I could look at him without craning my neck. He had a stick in his hand and he was poking around at the ground beneath him.

  “That’s probably because I was ten years older than you and I thought you were annoying.” A crooked smile graced his lips, a dimple flashing quickly on his cheek. I studied his face, the way his nose was slightly bent as if it’d been broken a time or two. His cheekbones were high on his face, leaving shadows along his cheeks and he had a strong jaw, square and masculine. Try as I might, I couldn’t place his face, but I did see the resemblance he had to his dad.

  “So how is it you grew up in a club and you don’t have the typical biker look? I see no tattoos, no beard or long hair. You look … normal.”

  Finally looking up from the design he’d traced at his feet, he glanced at me with a touch of humor dancing behind his sad eyes. “I never wanted this life, especially not after my dad died as a result of it. I was 17 when he was murdered and I was left alone in the club. Things changed so quick, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Big John took over and everybody who’d been close to my father left. It was like I woke up one morning and they were all gone.” He shrugged again, looking back down to continue the design he was drawing. “I wanted out just like the others, but at that age, I had no way of paying my way, but I knew the combination to a safe where the club finances were kept. I stole from the club and the money was enough to keep me going for a year or two. When it ran out, I got a job bussing tables and after a few months, one of the brothers saw me and reported me back to John.”

  When he paused, I noticed how his throat worked to swallow down whatever it was he was remembering. I stared at him for a long while, my mind recognizing the pain I saw in his eyes and the remorse I’d heard in his voice. In a way, he was a kindred spirit, a kid raised in an environment never meant for kids and one who became an adult who wanted nothing more than to escape. I could understand that, because I was that. I felt sorry for him as much as I felt sorry for myself.

  I didn’t like the silence between us, so I kept him talking. “What happened when they found you?”

  “They beat my ass, several times.” He chuckled, but there was no humor in the sound. “Big John told me that I either worked off what I owed or I died, my choice. Said once the debt was paid, I was free to leave again.”

  I tried calculating numbers in my head, but my thoughts were still muddied and thick from everything that had happened to me. “So…?”

  Looking up, he answered the question I didn’t have to ask. “So, it took me 14 years to pay off $30,000.00. Odd jobs here and there, typically criminal shit that nobody else wanted to deal with. I’m not proud of what I’ve done, but I did it anyway. I just wanted out. You were the last mission I had. I was free, but I just couldn’t leave knowing what I’d done to you. I remembered you as a young kid and that image stuck in my head as I drove east. It’s what made me turn around.”

  “Sounds like a lot of time to have to give to pay back that amount.”

  “Yeah, well Big John’s an asshole.” His words came out on a growl and I wanted to change the subject because I didn’t want to upset him further.

  “So, that’s why you came back for me? I don’t even remember most of it, only that they brought me to some strange house and the next thing I knew I was waking up in a corner with you singing to me. Didn’t even recognize you at first considering your hair was gone.” Images flashed in my head, sounds of gunfire echoing within my thoughts. I grimaced when I remembered the blood because it took me back to another field, to another scene that would forever scar my soul.

  He smiled again, this time looking like he was actually happy for a second or two. Running his hand over his head, he said, “Yeah, Henry wanted me to make sure that nobody recognized me, so I shaved my head before we showed up.”

  I didn’t recognize the name he’d just spoken. “Henry?”

  Shifting where he sat, he looked up at me, holding me frozen and mesmerized by the light in his eyes. “Yeah, Henry. He was a friend of my dad’s and yours. He was around long before Hell’s Rebellion went to shit, but he left when my dad died. I went to him for help and somehow that crazy old fuck managed to get you delivered where we could grab you.”

  “How?”

  “Don’t know and I don’t ask questions. Only thing I know is that we’re staying out here until he comes to get us. He’s looking for your dad and who the hell knows how long it will take to find him, but I don’t doubt he’ll stop until he does.”

  Nodding, I ran out of questions to ask him and silence fell between us again, thick as molasses. I was thankful for his honesty and a little surprised to find that we were both two lost souls looking to escape a life we’d never wanted. For some odd reason, hearing his story made me feel less alone.

  Storm clouds rolled in, rumbling in the distance and threatening to drench us both where we sat. The calm and serene mirror top to the lake began to kick up in choppy waves from the wind that blew through the trees.

  “We should go. The storms around here are pretty severe. Knocked some trees over by the house a few days ago.” He stood up, stretching his arms above his head and I couldn’t help but stare at the muscles in his stomach that were revealed when his shirt was lifted up. Damn this man was in shape, nowhere near the typical biker with the beer gut and sun-worn skin.

  “I don’t remember a storm.”

  He looked down at me when he stopped stretching. “You were asleep. You’ve slept a lot since we got here.”

  “And what did you do while I slept?”

  His eyes, like a cold burning fire set inside his skin, caught the scant bits of light that still broke through the clouds. “I watched over you. Went to you when you were screaming and sat with you until you fell asleep again.”

  Shock tore through my system and my jaw dropped at his words. The first drop of water hit my nose and I looked up just as a deluge followed behind it, soaking JD and me instantly.

  “Dammit.” He swore under his breath as he moved quickly to help me up to my feet. I slipped out of his hands when he pulled me up, falling back into the mud puddle that had quickly formed beneath me. His eyes widened when the mud splashed up into my face and his shoulders shook from his attempt to hide his laughter. “Shit, sorry Munch.”

  When he reached for me again, I eyed him, my hands gripping into the wet earth. I felt playful suddenly, lost in the shock and surprise of being caught in the rain. It was as if the cold water was washing all the pain from my skin and the horrifying nightmares from my thoughts. I felt loose and easy, carefree in a place that was paradise even when the heavens opened up to soak the land. Reaching out, I whipped the mud in my hands at his body, laughing as it caught him along the chest and splashed up onto his chin and cheeks.

  He looked surprised, confused even, but then his eyes narrowed down into a playful scowl. “You’re joking with me right, woman? You didn’t really just throw mud at me.”

  I laughed softly, challenging him with my stare. Speaking loudly so that I could be heard over the rain, I said, “I did just do that. And I’d do it again.”

 
I’m not sure why I was suddenly comfortable around him. It could have been a mixture of relief at what he’d told me and the freedom I felt when I was lost in these woods. Whatever it was, it made me feel carefree and at ease, lost in an emotion I’d feared I’d never know again. My hands moved quickly to throw more mud at him and I laughed when his scowl deepened, the hint of humor peeking out at the corner of his full lips.

  My bottom lip poked out in a fake pout. “What’s wrong, JD? Haven’t you ever played in the rain before?”

  He looked at me with an odd expression and my chest tightened to think that he never had played in the rain. I thought about what he’d told me and wondered if he’d ever been given the chance to be a kid in his entire life. At least I’d been given that, thanks to my mother who tried to make everything normal even though my life was anything but normal.

  I threw more mud, laughing again as it splashed up in his face, quickly washed away by the rain that fell harder over our bodies.

  “I’m warning you now, Munch. You do that one more time and you’ll regret it, woman.” His lips curled again and I couldn’t help but return the smile.

  I’m sure it was a stupid move, but I did it anyway. Pulling up another large handful of the thick, wet earth, I flung it out. As quick as snake, he reached out and caught my hand. It took nothing for him to lift me from the ground and with his arms wrapped tightly around my body, he took three large steps towards the lake.

  I screamed when he held me and jumped in. Instantly immersed in the water, we broke the surface, both gasping for breath as our laughter echoed through the forest.

  I joked around and swung out at him and he caught my arms easily. Our faces were so close as we tread water and memories poured into my head. I shouldn’t have been thinking about him with like I was, shouldn’t have been looking back on the time when he’d fucked me, my lips smiling to remember how he’d made me feel.

  Our eyes locked in that moment and I wondered if he was thinking of the same thing.

  I can’t say I wanted him to kiss me, but I’m not sure I would have pulled away either. Our breath mingled as the rain poured down around us, but he never leaned in, never made a move to do anything more than hold me.

  It felt nice when we just stared at each other, lost in a moment where we both felt free.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  JD

  “Full house motherfucker! In your face!”

  Her arms reached out as wide as they would go when she pulled the pile of Cheese-its and pretzel sticks in her direction. A smirk spread across her face, her eyes wild with triumph from having beat me at another hand. I eyed her suspiciously, wondering if she was cheating when she’d dealt the cards.

  “There is no way you just beat me again. Where the hell did that other ace come from?” Reaching out I grabbed her arm to look under her sleeve. She pulled it away, rocking her head from side to side with mirth.

  “Sorry loser, but I’m just that good. No cards up my sleeve.” Shoving a pretzel stick in her mouth, she smiled while chomping down. I scowled over at her and she smiled brighter. “What? Stop being a sore loser and ante up. I’m on a roll.”

  “I need to take you to Vegas, is what I need to do. Damn woman, I think we could make a bundle off your little ass.” She looked at me funny and I quickly added, “I mean, not your ass, just you, well not you…poker. I mean poker.”

  One colorless eye winked and she clucked her tongue. “Hell yeah. I’d clear the tables.” Dealing out the cards, she mused, “What would we do with the money?”

  It grew quiet after she asked that question and my heart sank into my stomach. I wasn’t sure she realized what she was saying, but the term ‘we’ hit heavily against my thoughts when I thought about having to give her up as soon as Henry came knocking.

  Her eyes peeked up from beneath her lashes, a question written across her expression, “What’s wrong? Is it something I said?”

  It had been two weeks since that day out by the lake. Since that time we’d hiked out there daily, first thing in the morning when the light first broke through the branches of the trees and mist still clung heavily to the earth. Each day brought more healing for both Holly and myself and we’d kept a safe distance from each other, never crossing the threshold of friends.

  That’s not to say I didn’t want the girl because I did and in a bad way. I wasn’t going to touch her and chance her anger or the return of the fear and pain that had plagued her when I first brought her to this place. With each day the sun rose, so did her spirits. Shy at first, she’d slowly come out of her shell, eventually settling into an easy and playful friendship with me that I valued over everything I had in this world.

  We’d spent many hours discussing our lives, our futures, all the things we dreamed about and hoped for by leaving behind the clubs where we’d been raised. Neither of us really knew what we wanted to do with our lives, we just knew what we didn’t want to do with them. We didn’t want the fighting or crime, the drug use or politics. We wanted things to be easy … simple. To the outside observer, our hopes would seem boring, but to us, it meant everything.

  “Nah, Munch. It’s not something you said. Guess I just suck at losing to a girl.” I winked and she smiled a crooked grin while picking up her cards to play her hand. “’Sides, Vegas might be a good stop on the way out of here. Would be awesome to have enough money to keep you going while you figured out where you want to live and what you want to do.”

  She shrugged one shoulder as she set down her cards. “Doesn’t matter as long as it doesn’t involve bikers.” Looking up from the table, she added, “Don’t get me wrong, I won’t be giving up the freedom of a bike. I just don’t want the stress of the asshole that rides it. I’m not going to be like my mom. My man will respect me. He won’t cheat on me and give me a disease that kills me. He’ll be there to raise our kids.” Her voice grew wistful and a distant look flooded her eyes. “Long as I have that, I don’t care where I live or what I do.”

  I dealt the flop and saw a smile try to force its way from her lips when she saw the cards. She had the worst poker face ever. She must have noticed I was staring because she attempted to make her expression blank, which only made her cuter.

  After considering what she’d just said, I wondered how she planned to get away from the life. All she had was the MC and her father. She’d never mentioned having friends or family outside of the life. “So, how are you going to get away? Do you have people elsewhere who can help you?”

  Shaking her head, she didn’t bother to look at me when she responded, “Nope. I’m going to figure out a way on my own.” Finally looking up, she said, “I mean, you’re doing it on your own. Don’t see why I can’t do the same. Just need to get a job and save up some cash, or …” She gave me a pointed look. “I can just go to Vegas. So, I think you had a good plan there.”

  Glancing down at my cards, I noticed I had a two of hearts and a nine of spades. That basically equaled crap in poker language, so I threw them down. “I fold.”

  She sat back in her chair, eyeing me with a suspicious look. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothin’.” I looked down at the table, my hand reaching out to absently play with a pretzel stick.

  “You’re lying.”

  I pushed back my chair, the legs scraping angrily against the wood. Standing up, I kept talking to her as I crossed the room into the kitchen. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong, woman. I just need a drink.” I opened the cabinet that was stocked with bottles of whiskey. Saying a silent ‘thank you’ to Henry, I reached in, pulling out a new one and twisting the top off before bringing it to my lips and swallowing down the bitter liquid. Fuck, it tasted good.

  By the time I turned back in her direction, she’d stood up and walked in behind me. Nodding her head towards the bottle, she asked, “You gonna share that or what?”

  Tilting the bottle in her direction, I offered her a drink while asking, “You sure you should be drinking this?”

  She took i
t from me, tilting it to her lips and swallowing down three large gulps. Pulling it away, her face contorted in response to the sting of the alcohol. Blowing out a breath, she finally answered, “A girl’s got to get over shit at some point, right?” Shaking her head, she finally chased away the sting. “Guess, now is as good a time as any.”

  She was tough. I’d give her that. After hearing what those men had done to her, I was impressed as hell to see her so normal after living through it. I could see where the life had made her hard, but how her own spirit kept her soft inside. She reminded me so much of her mother. Laughing as I took the bottle from her hand, I thought back to when I first met the Saint and how I secretly wished that she’d been my mother as well.

  I took another swig and looked around the tiny, cramped house. Realizing I needed to get out, I asked, “Wanna go on a walk with me?”

  Her eyebrow cocked in question. “Do I have a choice? Seems to me that you haven’t let me out of your sight for the past three weeks. You sure you trust me not to do something stupid when you’re not here to babysit me?”

  Warmth spread over my body while I listened to her joke around. “Nope, you don’t have a choice. So lemme rephrase that.” Setting the bottle down on the counter, I reached over quickly, picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder. She screamed out her laughter as I picked up the bottle and moved to leave the house. “We’re going for a walk.”

  Once we were outside, she was still kicking and punching at me, but I held on. “Don’t make me spank you again, Munch. I know how much you like that.”

  “Whatever, asshole! Put me down!”

  After we were clear of the driveway and I’d walked several feet out into the woods, I set her feet down on a tall rock, the height of which made her stand eye to eye with me. Her face was glowing with laughter.

  Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, she feigned annoyance. “How dare you make me come out here? I was enjoying looking at the same four walls for hours.”