Explicit Memory

by Scarlett Finn

  ‘That’s what it is, isn’t it? You think it’s disrespectful,’ she sighed out, almost ready to laugh at her own stupidity. ‘You think you’d be disrespecting me.’

  ‘No, no, it’s more than that,’ he said, clearly frustrated with himself. ‘This place, a woman like you, you’re here because of me, Flick. You shouldn’t know places like this exist, let alone be existing in one yourself.’

  ‘Rushe,’ she said, sliding her hands up over every ridge of his muscular chest to his shoulders, and across the width of him. She appreciated the strength of him, the security and stability of the man who was the core of her universe. ‘I love you. I want to experience everything with you.’

  ‘Just a few days ago,’ he said. ‘We were at your parents... that house, that place… that guy...

  ‘Robert?’

  ‘I saw the way he looked at you.’

  ‘You say that about every man.’

  ‘You’re fucking hot,’ he grumbled.

  ‘Rushe,’ she said, as clarity rattled through her. ‘You’ve been insecure. You look at where we were, and you look at where we are, and you think that the difference matters. Why can’t you see that this is what matters, you and me together, talking and mating. I don’t care where we are, Rushe. I care that we’re together. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t want to go through this without you.’

  ‘You are my woman.’

  ‘Yes. Are you going to fuck me?’

  ‘You give me everything, Flick,’ he said. ‘I don’t know why you do it. I don’t know why.’

  ‘I do it because I love you, because this is what I want, because you are what I want.’

  ‘This place is who I am,’ he said. ‘This kind of place, this, scum, depravity, deprivation, people, everywhere, all the time...’

  ‘Being all alone in a crowded room,’ she said when he didn’t finish his thought.

  ‘You make me better. But I don’t get it, I don’t understand what you get. This is who I am. This... it’s horrible, it’s disgusting, and a woman like you should not be here. You could have anything and anyone you want in the world, why would you want to be anywhere near scum like me?’

  ‘This isn’t about your false opinion of yourself,’ she said. ‘You don’t believe you’re good enough for me, and I disagree. But this place reminds you of the isolation, of what it was like to be alone; to have no one and nothing. But you’re a part of something now, and you’re not alone. You’ve never had anything to lose before.’

  ‘I worry about you every minute of the goddamn day. It ripped me apart to watch you walk outta here today, and yesterday when I thought... But I can’t protect you. I can’t do it. I’ve failed every single fucking time.’

  ‘You haven’t failed,’ she said. ‘We go looking for this. This is what we do. Yes it’s dangerous, and yes we could get hurt. But this isn’t a day at the office. We do it because it needs to be done. Nobody else will do it. We do it because it’s right, and somebody has to stand up for what’s right. This is a privilege, that you share this with me, your life, your work.’

  ‘It endangers you.’

  ‘Everything endangers us, Rushe,’ she said. ‘We all live in danger every day. But you and I are more aware of it than the general population.’

  His hands moved down her shoulders until he shifted his weight onto his elbows when he hooked them beneath her waist.

  ‘I wanna fuck you.’

  ‘You can, you’re allowed,’ she whispered. ‘Why have you not wanted to touch me?’

  ‘I wanna touch you. You know I wanna touch you. My cock’s been thinking about nothing but your pussy, about how good it feels being in there, to be fucking you. I couldn’t come near you. I couldn’t spend the night in here because I couldn’t trust myself to do it. I knew you would let me have sex with you. I knew you would. I knew you would let me have access to that sweet, little fucking body. But I couldn’t do it here.’

  ‘Yes, you can. When you’re with me, don’t think about them. Don’t think about where, or how, or why. Just know that it’s right, and it’s allowed.’

  ‘But when I talk to you—‘

  ‘Tell me how you like it,’ she said. ‘Do you want me just to lay back and let you work me over? God, you make me horny, I’ve been so wet for you.’

  ‘Are you trying to turn me on?’

  ‘I can feel him,’ she said, wriggling to let herself get as close to his dick as she could, though he still dominated her and controlled the show. ‘You can be as dirty as you want, any time you want. You don’t disrespect me. I feel respected. I feel powerful when you tell me you want me that much.’

  ‘You love the way my cock fills you up, are you empty without it? You’re a bad girl.’

  ‘I’m a dirty whore.’

  ‘You think you can handle it,’ he said, dropping his lips to her skin to allow the heat of his breath to spread across her. ‘Handle what I’m about to do to you. I’m gonna hold you down and make you come. I’m gonna make you scream... I’m gonna give it to you how I like it.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You can’t wait, can you? You want it.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Oh, my girl, are you gonna show me how much you like it? Scream for me? Speak.’

  ‘Yes,’ she breathed.

  He kissed her again, but quickly, and then his hands were down at her hips, on her thighs, and he rose up, pressing his weight against his palms, on her thighs until they burned. He reared up, she felt the length of him slip to her centre, and she knew what was coming next.

  Opening her eyes, she looked at him as he looked at her, and on lifting her hand toward the glimmer of his smile, which had been absent for so long, he bucked back and surged forward to slam into her all the way to the hilt.

  ‘Oh good god,’ she gasped out as he cursed into the air, filling it with every expletive that she’d ever heard and quite a few that she hadn’t.

  ‘Oh, god,’ he groaned out. It had been too long.

  ‘Keep going.’

  ‘You feel that? You feel where my cock is right now?’ he said, gritting his teeth, his voice becoming nothing but a bassy vibration in his chest that seemed to rattle through his body, right through her, right through that point of contact where he was inside her, where he belonged.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You feel that shit?’

  ‘Oh...’ Flick could tell from the way he exhaled after every one of his words just how he was trying to hold onto the control that he usually exercised so well.

  ‘Your fucking pussy’s wet. Tell me how much you like that shit.’

  ‘Oh, yeah,’ she said. ‘I like it. I love it. I want you. I love your cock. I love it when you fuck me. I love it—‘

  ‘Shut it.’

  She lifted her torso slightly to dig her nails into the backs of his hands that still pressed against her thighs. ‘More.’

  ‘You being a cocky little bitch?’

  ‘I want your cock,’ she said. ‘I want it right there.’

  ‘You feel it? Speak.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You like being fucked hard, don’t you?’ he asked. ‘Say it.’

  ‘Oh, I like being fucked hard,’ she said. ‘Mm, Rushe, please...’

  ‘You like being fucked hard and rough. You need a strong guy to work you over. A guy who’s just gonna throw you down and fuck you—‘

  ‘I don’t need a guy,’ she snarled, cutting him off, which was very unlike her in this situation. ‘I need you. Any other guy tries to touch me and I’ll kill him myself.’

  ‘You want a bad guy, don’t you? I get you off. You like it when I fuck you hard, and give it to you rough, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes.’

  He pulled back, and pushed in, out and in, and every time she breathed his name. Flick said it aloud because she wanted to remember, and didn’t ever want to forget again. His hands moved from her thighs to her hands, he took them and let his weight fall forward pressing her into the mattress, his
body moving up and down, pounding into her faster and harder.

  She said his name again. He groaned, fucking faster, and lifting her hips she met him each time, working her clit against his groin.

  ‘Oh, you filthy fucking whore!’

  Coming half out of her passage, Rushe stalled just on the cusp of her orgasm so she swore at him. One beat of his sinister laughter made her eyes pop open, though she hadn’t realised that they’d closed, and she knew that she had him back. That laugh, that smile, those words, they proved that he trusted her again.

  Just as she smiled, one of his hands left hers to come between them to meet their point of unity. He rubbed her clit in a circle, smudging the moisture between them getting her all lathered up until that piercing spike of pleasure fired between her legs, up to her chest and out of her mouth in a long, desperate wail.

  He roared out, beating backwards and forwards, hammering into her until on one last curse word he pushed all the way inside and filled her, every inch of her. Pouring his liquid into her, staining her, filling the gaping chasm, the starving hunger, that famished spot inside her that only he was capable of sating.

  Breathing out, Rushe didn’t even try to stop panting before he fell down to his side, taking her body with his at the same time until he rolled to his back and held her above him.

  ‘I love you,’ he said into her hair.

  Flick turned her head to him, rubbing her face, her nose, her mouth, her lips, her cheeks, all of herself against him. ‘I know you do. I love you too.’

  Chapter Twelve

  The sultry suction on her left breast was as enthusiastic as the ardent massage that the other was receiving. Rushe caught her nipple in the joint of his thumb, and he squeezed until she moaned out.

  It seemed assured that this experience was nothing more than a lustful dream, as his hand skimmed down her torso and two of his long, sturdy digits squashed up into her core. The ease of his entry confirmed that he’d lubricated his path into her already. The tingling heat between her thighs that she’d woken up to had been of his making. His mouth floated up her body until he licked her bottom lip, giving her an intimate taste of where he’d been.

  ‘Morning,’ he said, not so subtly bringing his knee higher between her legs to urge them apart.

  ‘Shh,’ she said, aware of her burgeoning grin. ‘I’m having a really good dream, don’t wake me up yet.’

  ‘This ok?’

  ‘Don’t you dare ask for my consent,’ she said, letting her hands spread on his biceps.

  ‘Wasn’t gonna,’ he said, and like she was an item of furniture he took hold of her hips and shifted her into a position more suitable for him, or rather more pleasing because he nestled himself between her thighs. ‘Are you hungry?’

  ‘Are you going to feed me, Lover?’

  ‘Not what I meant, but sure, if you want a spunk breakfast, that’s cheap and easy.’

  ‘Like me?’ she teased, still without opening her eyes.

  The head of his penis came so deliciously close to penetration that Flick purred. But the solid heat of his form left hers, and the bed beside her bounced. Prying her eyelids apart, she rolled her head to see him sprawled beside her.

  ‘Rushe, this is my dream, my scintillating wake-up call,’ she said. ‘You’re supposed to be arousing me.’

  ‘You want me to empty my balls into your belly, Kitten, you don’t gotta ask me twice.’

  Now almost sorry that she had interrupted his seduction, Flick traced her toes up his calf, until her instep formed around his knee. She slid it down and up while watching the unconscious rhythm of his hand, which was curled around his dick.

  He removed her hand from where it rested on his hip to replace the direct contact around his member with her palm, and she let him carry on pumping his fist, using her hand as the sheath that delivered his pleasure.

  ‘Climb on up and ride my cock,’ he grumbled, but didn’t stop the jerking motion.

  ‘I want you to lick me all over first,’ she taunted, rocking her figure toward him to coil her body around the length of his.

  His hand left hers on his dick so he could snatch her thigh, and he yanked it up until it pressed to his balls. But the motion brought Flick’s own centre against his solid, static thigh, and grinding in, she pressed her nose to the muscle of his arm and opened her mouth when she tilted her head to drag her teeth against him.

  ‘Wrap those pretty lips around my cock, now.’ Still writhing against him, Flick revelled in the pinch of her clit trapped between her pubis and his quadriceps. ‘You’re gonna suck me off, Kitten, suck me like your life depends on it.’

  ‘My pussy is hungry too,’ she said, licking his arm and letting her eyes trail up to his as she tightened her grip again.

  ‘Oh, she’s gonna get her turn,’ Rushe growled. Spanning his hand under her hair, he took hold of her chin and tipped her head back as far as it would go. ‘Open your mouth.’

  At his request, she parted her lips and his thumb scrubbed across her lower lip to her teeth. He bent his digit between her incisors and forced her jaw further apart, then hooking it down into the soft flesh under her tongue, Rushe coerced her mouth far open until an ache arose beneath her temples.

  ‘You were made for my dick,’ he said, peering down her throat like she was a show animal. The possessive manoeuvre made Flick wriggle closer, this time until her pelvis rounded to mount the front of his thigh. ‘You pleasing my pussy?’ Though he still had hold of her jaw, Flick managed to nod, but when she moved to avert her attention he yanked it back to his.

  ‘You’re gonna show me how much you like that,’ he said. ‘How grateful you are for my cock? How you want your seat right there on my dick to be permanently reserved?’

  He said the words in a snarl, but the ferocity in him was gratitude. Last night she had fixed something in him and brought them back together. Here, he proved that sharing this intimacy was as important to him as it was to her.

  ‘Rub my cock.’

  While pumping her hand up and down, Rushe’s hand loosened from her face.

  ‘Put your hand in my hair,’ she murmured. Rushe loved her hair; he was as tactile with it as any other part of her body, and so intent on it at times that his adoration of it was almost sexual.

  Sinister triumph lit his eyes, but it made her smile because this was where her power lay. Taking his hand to the top of her head, he spread his fingers wide and loose, capturing as many strands as he could. Twisting her locks, he pressured her down. A sting of pain shot to her nipples, bringing them to pebbled points, which she dragged down the length of him, tickling herself with the bliss of thorny gratification.

  Rushe anticipated her mouth, but Flick paused, relaxing the weight of her breasts against his groin. Wobbling them down, she squirmed closer, enveloping him in her generous cleavage.

  ‘What about your girls,’ she asked. ‘They’ve missed him too.’

  His fingers were still coiled in her hair, but she had the leeway to turn her lips against his abdomen and kiss the grooves of his stomach.

  ‘They feel neglected.’

  ‘Ain’t any part of my woman that’s gonna be neglected.’

  ‘That’s what I wanted to hear,’ she sighed.

  Trailing her tits downward, Flick slid her clit down over his knee, leaving the intimate scent of herself on his skin. When he growled she knew he sensed it, but breathing the length of him into her mouth the pleasure focus flitted.

  ‘You dirty slut,’ he snarled, loosening then tightening his hold on her hair in time with her ducking and jerking motion. ‘All that practise and you still love it, you live to suck on my cock, don’t you? Speak.’

  Releasing her concave cheeks with a slurp, Flick didn’t bother to empty her mouth. She held his length against the roof of her mouth with her tongue, and nodded.

  ‘Yes,’ she said, then circled her soaked muscle around all of him that she could.

  ‘Lick my balls.’

  Flick did as she
was told, then sucked one testicle gently into her mouth, causing him to groan as his body spasmed.

  ‘Fuck, Kitten.’

  Straightening her legs, she worked herself on his shin, nipping her clit, wringing her own pleasure as she administered his.

  ‘Don’t you come,’ he ground out through gritted teeth. ‘Do you get off on sucking my dick?’

  ‘My dick,’ she said, letting it pop from her mouth to work it with her fist, but he yanked her up. One hand remained in her hair and the other under her arm.

  Forcing her to her back, he hooked an elbow under her knee and wedged his dick into her pussy, expanding the path for his satisfaction.

  ‘You don’t get a say in nothing, you’re going to do what you’re told, you’re gonna scream like the dirty slut you are... You’re gonna say thank you for my cock... say it.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Thank you, what?’

  ‘Thank you, sir.’

  ‘Good girl.’

  Crushing the head of his dick against her cervix, Rushe slid back through the mire that eased his undulation. His neck thickened as he battered harder until the spurt of his release met the clamp of her passage and they froze together in time, mingled in climax.

  ‘Lover, that was...’

  She couldn’t find the words because she wasn’t sure if they existed. Though he remained in his habitat within her, she already missed the satiating distension of his thrusting action, because she wanted him to be in her forever. Flick never wanted to lose him again.

  After an unusually prolonged make-out session in the shower, Rushe had satisfied her another couple of times and then insisted that she get dressed.

  ‘Cody will be here now,’ Rushe said, taking her hand. But when he moved to leave the sanctuary of their bedroom, Flick stayed put.

  ‘Then we should stay here,’ she said. ‘I only have an hour.’

  ‘Kitten, we have to talk,’ he said, touching the top of her head. ‘And if we stay in here...’ His attention lowered to devour the sight of her clothed form. ‘We have to go out.’