The Mammoth Book of Golden Age SF

by Martin Greenberg

  Underhill gestured, and the sleek black thing darted in solicitous obedience to kneel by the man on the floor.

  “You wish to surrender your special exemption?” it murmured brightly. “You wish to accept our total service for yourself, Mr. Sledge, under the Prime Directive?”

  Laboriously, Sledge nodded, laboriously whispered, “I do.”

  Black mechanicals, at that, came swarming into the shabby little rooms. One of them tore off Sledge’s sleeve, and swabbed his arm. Another brought a tiny hypodermic, and expertly administered an intravenous injection Then they picked him up gently, and carried him away.

  Several humanoids remained in the little apartment, now a sanctuary no longer. Most of them had gathered about the useless integrator. Carefully, as if their special senses were studying every detail, they began taking it apart.

  One little mechanical, however, came over to Underhill. It stood motionless in front of him, staring through him with sightless metal eyes. His legs began to tremble, and he swallowed uneasily.

  “Mr. Underhill,” it cooed benevolently, “why did you help with this?”

  “Because I don’t like you, or your Prime Directive. Because you’re choking the life out of all mankind, and I wanted to stop it.”

  “Others have protested,” it purred softly. “But only at first. In our efficient discharge of the Prime Directive, we have learned how to make all men happy.”

  Underhill stiffened defiantly.

  “Not all!” he muttered. “Not quite!”

  The dark graceful oval of its face was fixed in a look of alert benevolence and perpetual mild amazement. Its silvery voice was warm and kind.

  “Like other human beings, Mr. Underhill, you lack discrimination of good and evil. You have proved that by effort to break the Prime Directive. Now it will be necessary for you to accept our total service, without further delay.”

  “All right,” he yielded – and muttered a bitter reservation: “You can smother men with too much care, but that doesn’t make them happy.”

  Its soft voice challenged him brightly,

  “Just wait and see, Mr. Underhill.”

  Next day, he was allowed to visit Sledge at the city hospital. An alert black mechanical drove his car, and walked beside him into the huge new building, and followed him into the old man’s room – blind steel eyes would be watching him, now, forever.

  “Glad to see you, Underhill,” Sledge rumbled heartily from the bed. “Feeling a lot better today, thanks. That old headache is all but gone.”

  Underhill was glad to hear the booming strength and the quick recognition in that deep voice – he had been afraid the humanoids would tamper with the old man’s memory. But he hadn’t heard about any headache. His eyes narrowed, puzzled.

  Sledge lay propped up, scrubbed very clean and neatly shorn, with his gnarled old hands folded on top of the spotless sheets. His raw-boned cheeks and sockets were hollowed, still, but a healthy pink had replaced that deathly blueness. Bandages covered the back of his head.

  Underhill shifted uneasily.

  “Oh!” he whispered faintly. “I didn’t know—”

  A prim black mechanical, which had been standing statue-like behind the bed, turned gracefully to Underhill, explaining:

  “Mr. Sledge has been suffering for many years from a benign tumor of the brain, which his human doctors failed to diagnose. That caused his headaches, and certain persistent hallucinations. We have removed the growth, and now the hallucinations have also vanished.”

  Underhill stared uncertainly at the blind, urbane mechanical.

  “What hallucinations?”

  “Mr. Sledge thought he was a rhodomagnetic engineer,” the mechanical explained. “He believed he was the creator of the humanoids. He was troubled with an irrational belief that he did not like the Prime Directive.”

  The wan man moved on the pillows, astonished.

  “Is that so?” The gaunt face held a cheerful blankness, and the hollow eyes flashed with a merely momentary interest. “Well, whoever did design them, they’re pretty wonderful. Aren’t they, Underhill?”

  Underhill was grateful that he didn’t have to answer, for the bright, empty eyes dropped shut and the old man fell suddenly asleep. He felt the mechanical touch his sleeve, and saw its silent nod. Obediently, he followed it away.

  Alert and solicitous, the little black mechanical accompanied him down the shining corridor, and worked the elevator for him, and conducted him back to the car. It drove him efficiently back through the new and splendid avenues, toward the magnificent prison of his home.

  Sitting beside it in the car, he watched its small deft hands on the wheel, the changing luster of bronze and blue on its shining blackness. The final machine, perfect and beautiful, created to serve mankind forever. He shuddered.

  “At your service, Mr. Underhill.” Its blind steel eyes stared straight ahead, but it was still aware of him. “What’s the matter, sir? Aren’t you happy?”

  Underhill felt cold and faint with terror. His skin turned clammy, and a painful prickling came over him. His wet hand tensed on the door handle of the car, but he restrained the impulse to jump and run. That was folly. There was no escape. He made himself sit still.

  “You will be happy, sir,” the mechanical promised him cheerfully. “We have learned how to make all men happy, under the Prime Directive. Our service is perfect, at last. Even Mr. Sledge is very happy now.”

  Underhill tried to speak, and his dry throat stuck. He felt ill. The world turned dim and gray. The humanoids were perfect – no question of that. They had even learned to lie, to secure the contentment of men.

  He knew they had lied. That was no tumor they had removed from Sledge’s brain, but the memory, the scientific knowledge, and the bitter disillusion of their own creator. But it was true that Sledge was happy now.

  He tried to stop his own convulsive quivering.

  “A wonderful operation!” His voice came forced and faint. “You know, Aurora has had a lot of funny tenants, but that old man was the absolute limit. The very idea that he had made the humanoids, and he knew how to stop them! I always knew he must be lying!”

  Stiff with terror, he made a weak and hollow laugh.

  “What is the matter, Mr. Underhill?” The alert mechanical must have perceived his shuddering illness. “Are you unwell?”

  “No, there’s nothing the matter with me,” he gasped desperately. “I’ve just found out that I’m perfectly happy, under the Prime Directive. Everything is absolutely wonderful.” His voice came dry and hoarse and wild. “You won’t have to operate on me.”

  The car turned off the shining avenue, taking him back to the quiet splendor of his home. His futile hands clenched and relaxed again, folded on his knees. There was nothing left to do.