Write You a Love Song
Page 2
When he stops in my driveway, he says, “Come by the ranch tomorrow. Don’t stay home hating yourself and your life. It ain’t worth it.” I nod and step onto the snow.
Walking into the house, I add a log to the fireplace to spark more heat and drop onto the couch. I chance a glance at my phone, lying on the coffee table where I left it this afternoon, and see a message from Harris.
I skim it and throw my phone on the cushions. I’m not going back to Nashville, no matter how many times he begs me to reconsider. Nashville is where Reese is, where the memory of what we had lies. It’s why I agreed to live most of the time in Los Angeles with Amelia. I thought if I could get far away from the memories, I could move on.
I’ve never been more wrong.
Knox
“Hey, Mom.” I hug my mom as she greets me on the front porch where she’s been standing since I pulled into the driveway. “It’s too cold to be out, let’s go inside.” I wrap an arm around her shoulders and lead her into the house.
“How are you, sweetie?” She holds my free hand with both of hers in comfort.
“I’m good. Thought I’d come by and see how things were going here. Get out of the house, you know?” I smile, trying to reassure her I’m okay when she knows I’m not.
“That’s good. Come, I have fresh coffee in the pot.”
We walk into the kitchen, and I fix us both a cup of coffee before sitting at the kitchen table with her.
“Axel told me you went to Clarke’s with him yesterday. Glad he got you out of the house.” I nod. “I know this is a hard time, but we all know you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Thanks. At least my family knows I wouldn’t cheat. I’m tired of the crap. Sorry,” I apologize when I notice her glare. “Not crap, attention,” I correct my word choice.
“It’s part of the career you chose. You knew all the consequences beforehand.” She’s right. My parents and I would talk about all the possible situations I’d encounter if I became a famous musician. We never discussed an arranged marriage, and I never told them the truth. For all they know, I met Amelia and fell in love with her. I couldn’t stand disappointing them.
“Yeah. I just want the divorce to be finalized, so I can move on from all this.”
“It will happen. Be patient.” She pats my hand. “I don’t know what exactly your connection to that young lady is, but maybe a statement explaining why your relationship with Amelia ended will help clear the air.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” Her eyebrows pinch together.
“If I tell the truth, the label will sue me. Back when I met Amelia, I signed an NDA that I would never share the real reason we got married.”
My mom tilts her head, curiosity bouncing off of her. “What is the real reason?” Concern deepens the wrinkles around her eyes.
I take a deep breath. “You can’t share this with anyone,” I clarify. “My publicist set Amelia and me up years ago. It was all a publicity stunt to better both of our careers. Her success had exploded in the music industry, and I was getting noticed by fans. Amelia was Pop Music’s Sweetheart, and I was the next big thing to hit country music. An unlikely couple that could merge two industries, especially now that modern country music has a pop influence.
“Basically, I was told by the label if I wanted them to record my music, I had to marry her.”
“What?” My mom screeches. Her hand lands over her heart as her eyes pop open.
I push back and frown. “Sorry, Mom. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s the truth. I was told it was the only way my career would take off. I know now that wasn’t true. Reese was my girlfriend at the time, but we kept it hidden so she wouldn’t be pulled into the spotlight. I thought I was protecting her, but instead, I was destroying what we had. However, I don’t think the label would’ve cared if they knew about Reese. I was… am in love with her, but shit happens.” I shake my head and shrug.
“I’m surprised, but it all makes sense now. Why the papers are saying you and Reese aren’t strangers.” She gives me an apologetic smile. Her eyes are still wide in disbelief. I hated keeping this from her and my dad, but it was the only way.
“It’s why I left Nashville. I couldn’t do it anymore. I kept going against everything I believed in until I had enough and took a stance. After I told Amelia I wanted a divorce, I went to see Reese. She’s already moved on. I deserve all of this for what I did to her, but it doesn’t make it hurt less. Not just losing her, but losing the passion I had for music and the control over my life. Everything is backward.” My body slumps in the seat, my coffee getting colder with each word I speak.
“What counts is that you did take your life back into your own hands. You’ll figure out what you want in your life and what your priorities are. You just need time, and you need to stop being so hard on yourself.” She lifts her head and looks me in the eye with a firm gaze.
“Yeah. Right now, I want to finalize the divorce. That’s my priority. My lawyer is already looking at how we can get out of my contract with the label. It’s safe to say they are not happy with me and will do anything in their power to keep me for the sake of their egos.”
“Well, that won’t happen. What does Harris say?”
“He says we can open our own label, and I can create the music I want. Start fresh,” I shake my head. “I’m not feeling it right now. I’ve lost my respect for music, and it will take some time to get that back, if I ever do. It’s done more harm than good.”
“We’ll figure it out, day by day,” she reassures me.
“Yeah.” I nod. “Dad and Axel are out back?” I ask.
“Yes, go say hi.”
I kiss my mom’s cheek and walk out to the barn, my breath smoking as I exhale.
…
I look out at the snow-covered mountains behind the barn, clearing my mind after helping my dad and brother with the cattle. As much as I love this life, I’m no rancher. I can roundup cattle like the best of them, but it’s not my passion. I shake my head and grip the back of my neck, massaging a knot that’s formed there.
I have enough money that I can take time off and figure out what I want to do next, I’m just not used to having all this free time. I’m used to being out on the road, spending long hours recording, press releases, and appearances with Amelia. I blow out a gust of air, releasing the memories.
“Hey! Lunch is ready,” Axel calls out from the back porch. I nod and head over. As I enter the house, the aroma of cornbread and chili wafts around the house. There’s nothing like Momma’s home-cooked meals.
My dad and Axel talk about work while we eat, my mom smiling between them as she watches their passion. I eat in silence, observing it all and wondering how I can fit back in this town.
“Son, you adjusting to being back here?” My dad looks at me.
“Yeah, I needed this. There’s nowhere better than home to reflect and regroup. I was tired of living in LA, and Nashville started to suffocate me with all the media going after me.”
“Coming back to your roots always puts things into perspective,” my dad smiles and squeezes my shoulder. “Now, what you missed most was your Momma’s cookin’, wasn’t it?” he winks.
I chuckle and nod. “Of course. You don’t get this kinda meal anywhere but here.”
“Suck ups,” my mom states with a roll of her eyes but smiles.
I may be going through a tough time, but I know I can always count on my family to have my back. No better people I want in my corner than them.
…
Axel: we’re going out tonight
Knox: not up for it
Axel: too bad omw to pick u up so get dressed. it’s the weekend
I sigh and climb the stairs up to my room. He won’t give up, and I know going out for a drink will do me good. This town is small enough that we won’t get too wild, but I have to be careful, knowing someone will take advantage of my being here and sell a story to the tabloids. Th
e last thing I need is more cheating accusations, or worse, that I’m an alcoholic. People are dying to add more drama to my reputation than the simple truth that I live a quiet life. I’ve never been one to live a life of debauchery.
My phone pings with another message, and I’m about to walk out thinking it’s Axel when I see the name on the screen.
Harris: Amelia is losing her shit. She went from crying cheating victim to saying you mistreated her
Knox: the fuck?
Harris: my theory is she feels like without you she’ll lose the spotlight so she’s saying anything to keep her front and center
Knox: that’s bullshit. i’d never do smoethign like that.
My hands shake with anger as I type out the last message, not bothering to correct my typo. This is getting out of control and I need to call my lawyer tomorrow. I want him to find a loophole in the NDA I signed, because the only solution to this mess is to publicly share that our marriage was a publicity stunt. Thankfully, we got that in writing. I don’t care if I get the biggest lawsuit handed to me, but I’m tired of this bullshit.
Knox: do you have copies of all my contracts?
Harris: yes
Knox: keep the copies and send me the originals overnight.
I have my own copies, but I want the originals in my possession. I wouldn’t be surprised if Amelia’s publicist is telling her what to say and how to act. She always loved drama. I warned Amelia once about her, but she wouldn’t have it, stating her publicist was the best in the business.
I turn toward the door when I hear Axels’ truck and its loud ass engine running outside in my driveway. I grab my coat and stalk out, slamming the door of the truck as I sit in the passenger seat.
“Whoa.” Axel’s eyebrows lift as he looks at me.
“Don’t ask.” I shake my head. “Just get me to a bar.”
“Done.” He peels out of my house, the tires screeching as they slide on the ice.
“Don’t kill us,” I bark out, and my hand grips the dashboard.
“Sorry,” he shrugs. “Clarke’s okay?”
“Yup.” I lean my shoulders against the seat, but even the soft leather won’t lessen the tension rolling off them.
Once we’re seated at the bar, Axel turns to look at me and says, “Okay, tell me what happened.”
“Amelia,” I growl low enough for only him to hear me.
“Hey!” Ainsley halts when she sees my face. “Sorry, I can come back to take your order when you’re ready.”
“We’re ready,” Axel reassures her.
“Sam Adams?” she asks him. “And Johnny Black for you, right? Neat?”
“Yeah, thanks,” my chest deflates with a heavy exhale.
“No prob. Be back in a sec.” She bounces off to serve our drinks, all the while chatting with customers.
“What did she do now?” Axel’s voice rings with annoyance.
“Huh?” I turn my gaze away from Ainsley and look at him. “Oh, she stated I mistreated her.” I shake my head and blow out a deep breath.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Axel slams his hand on the bar. I widen my eyes in warning and clench my jaw. “Sorry,” he settles back down on the barstool.
“This is bullshit, though,” he whispers.
“I know. There’s only one way to end this, and I’m hoping to take care of it tomorrow.”
“What are you going to do?” His brows pull together.
“Say the truth,” I shrug. Axel was the only person who knew about my relationship with Reese and the reality of my marriage to Amelia. He warned me against it, and he has yet to say he told me so. For that, I’m grateful. I don’t need someone else pointing out my mistakes.
“Here you go.” Ainsley places our drinks in front of us with a hesitant smile.
“Thanks,” I tell her, my smile just as tight.
When she walks away, Axel continues speaking. “I say do what you need to do to clear your name. This is crap, and we both know it. Cheers.” He touches his bottle to my glass and takes a healthy pull of his beer.
Saturday night at Clarke’s means a larger crowd than I’ve seen in a long time. Some people come up to talk to me, others keep their distance, their wandering eyes scrutinizing me. I’m sure they’ve heard the latest gossip. Determined to stand my ground and prove them wrong, I hold my head up high and nod in their direction when I catch them staring.
“I’ll be back,” Axel steps off his stool and walks toward the crowd. I watch him approach a group of people and tilt my head. He hasn’t mentioned he’s dating anyone, but I watch him hug a woman with familiarity. Squinting my eyes, I smile. It’s Lia Montgomery, Axel’s best friend.
Shaking my head, I turn around and face the bar, rolling my empty glass between my fingers.
“Want another round?” Ainsley asks with a smile.
“Why the hell not?” I shrug and place the glass in front of her. I take her in as she serves my whiskey, long blonde hair framing her blue eyes and full lips now pulled between her teeth.
I follow her line of vision. “You have a thing for him?” I lean forward, resting my arms on the counter.
“Hell no. No offense,” she laughs. “He’s great, but more like a brother. It’s hard to make friends when you’re new to a small town like this, and Axel didn’t hesitate to be friendly.”
“He’s definitely social. Although, it doesn’t seem like you have trouble with the customers.” I tilt my head and stare at her.
“Working is one thing, but actually making friends my age is another. Everyone here has known each other since they were kids, so let’s just say it hasn’t been easy being part of a group of friends.” She shrugs as if it didn’t matter, but her downcast eyes communicate a different emotion.
“Axel has introduced me to a few people, but besides a quick hello when they come in here to order drinks, they don’t take notice of me outside of this bar.”
“Well, that’s a shame. It’s their loss.” I lean further across the bar and whisper, “Between you and me, some of these people can be stuck-up.” My butt hits the stool again when I hear someone call out her name from the other side of the bar. She smiles gratefully and goes on to do her job, leaving me with my whiskey.
I relate to her. It hasn’t been easy being back here for as long as I’ve been. Usually, I’d visit for a day or two in between commitments, not giving people the chance to ask too many questions. Now, with my impending divorce, the uncertainty of the future of my music career, and all the rumors, the people here haven’t hidden their curiosity about my long-term stay.
Knox
I park my truck at the entrance of Grand Teton National Park and hop out, inhaling the fresh air into my lungs. I rub my hands together, grabbing my gloves from the center console inside my truck. I look out at the beauty of the snow-covered mountains and begin walking. I love driving up here, appreciating the changing leaves on the trees and being away from curious glances.
Hopefully, my lawyer will find a way for me to tell the public the truth behind my marriage to Amelia and not get my ass handed to me with a lawsuit from the label. He sounded hopeful this morning when we spoke and promised to look through every detail with immense scrutiny.
I should’ve taken my time to look into different labels instead of signing with the first one that offered me a deal, but I was young, and RWB Records was one of the top labels every artist wanted to sign with. I scrub my face and sigh. No sense in wishing for a different past when it’s already done.
I begin to follow the trail, the light snow covering the ground crunching beneath my boots. This part of the park is empty since I’m probably the only person willing to come here when the weather’s cold and the path is snowy.
As I walk, I reflect on my future. Firstly, I need to release my feelings for Reese. I’ll never fully move forward if I’m still holding on to her emotionally, stirring the resentment I’m holding against everyone that had a hand in creating this reality, beginning with myself.
I scrub a hand down my face and release a shaky breath. Reese and I are history, from the moment I signed the contract with RWB Records. All that’s left now is for me to get my life back on track, one I truly want and not a cut up version someone else creates for me.
Until I let this go, I’ll never want to play music again. It will always remind me of what I lost. I also don’t want to hurt Reese more than I already have. I’ll always love her in some way, but we’re over, and the sooner I accept that, the better it will be for everyone.
Shaking the memory of her smile from my mind, I look out onto the lake I’m rounding and pause to take in the beauty around me. I may not be in the best place in my life, but I’m grateful for this kind of peace. Moments like this, away from the drama, make each day bearable. I don’t know why I ever agreed to live in Los Angeles when I’ve always been a country boy at heart. The speed of the city drowns me while this quiet seclusion fuels me.
Maybe I’ll even start writing songs again. God, it’s been years since I’ve written a song, but I’ll need more than a walk around here to spark that inspiration. I keep on wandering, nowhere close to figuring out my life but definitely feeling calmer.
Once I’m ready to head back into town and warm up, I make my way to my truck. This trip was a waste when it came to making a plan, but at least I got out of the house and visited a place I love. That in itself will help get my mind right again.
Back in town, I stop at the coffee shop, Cup-O-Joe, before heading back home.
“Hey,” I hear from a few feet away while I wait for my coffee. I turn to find Ainsley sitting at a table.
“Hi,” I respond with a small wave.
“Want to take a seat?” she asks, organizing the papers lying on the table.