What the Paparazzi Didn't See

by Nicola Marsh

  Uh-uh, she couldn’t do it.

  Wade might have issued his invitation but had he really thought this through? Had he really considered what it would be like living with her and her sister? His place would need to be remodelled and that was only one of the many changes he’d have to cope with.

  What if he grew tired of it? What if he couldn’t handle having Cindy full time? What if Cindy grew to love him as much as she did and then he ended it? The emotional fallout from something so major would definitely have a detrimental effect on Cindy physically.

  No, one Lithgow sister having her heart broken was enough.

  She’d vowed to protect Cindy and, sadly, that meant giving up her one shot at happiness.

  ‘Your silence is scaring me,’ he said, continuing to chafe her hand in his, but no amount of rubbing could stem the iciness trickling through her veins and chilling every extremity.

  ‘I—I think you’re incredible for asking us to come with you, Wade, but we can’t.’

  His hands stilled. ‘Can’t or won’t?’

  ‘Both,’ she said, wondering if that was the first impulsively honest thing she’d ever told him.

  She’d spent a decade carefully weighing her words, saying the right thing, doing the right thing, yet now, when it would pay to be circumspect, a plethora of words bubbled up from deep within and threatened to spill out.

  ‘The fact you care enough to include Cindy in your offer means more to me than you’ll ever know, but I can’t uproot her.’

  She waved to the backyard where the sound of voices and laughter drifted inside. ‘She’s comfortable here, safe. It’s the only home she’s ever known and I can’t move her halfway across the world.’

  He willed her to look at him, his gaze boring into her, but she determinedly stared at their joined hands.

  ‘She’ll have the best of carers. I can afford it—’

  ‘No.’ The vehement refusal sounded like a gunshot. Short. Sharp. Ominous. ‘I’ve always taken care of her and I’ll continue to do so.’

  He released her hand and eased away as if she’d slapped him. ‘Is it so hard to accept help? Or are you too used to playing the martyr you’d do anything to continue the role?’

  His harsh accusation hung in the growing silence while a lump of hurt and anger and regret welled in her chest until she could hardly breathe.

  He rubbed a hand across his face. ‘Sorry, that was way out of line. But you need to realise you have a life too—’

  ‘My life is here, right where I want to be,’ she said, finally raising her eyes to meet his, seeing the precise second he registered her bleakness. ‘Cindy is all I have and I’m not going to abandon her.’

  ‘But you won’t be.’ He tried to reach for her and she wriggled back. ‘You’re not your folks, Liza, you’re so much better than them. But the strain of bearing a constant load will eventually tell. It’s not healthy shouldering the lot.’

  He tapped his chest. ‘Let me in. I’ll be here for you. Always.’

  That sounded awfully like for ever to Liza and it only added to her grief.

  She’d be walking away from the best thing that ever happened to her.

  But she didn’t hesitate, not for a second. Wade was right about one thing. She wasn’t her folks and there was nothing he could do or say that would make her put her needs ahead of her sister’s.

  She shook her head, the tears spurting from her eyes like a waterfall, spraying them. ‘I can’t. Sorry.’

  And then she ran. Ran from the house, ran from the man she loved, ran from a bright future.

  Ran until her lungs seized and her legs buckled. Even then, she kept pushing, jogging four blocks before she registered the car cruising beside her.

  When she finally couldn’t take another step from sheer exhaustion, she stopped. Braced her hands on her thighs, bending over and inhaling lungfuls of air.

  It didn’t ease the pain.

  She ignored the car idling on the kerb, ignored the electronic glide of a window sliding down.

  ‘Get in. I’ll take you home.’

  Liza shook her head, willing the strength to return to her legs so she could make another dash for it.

  She needed to escape Wade and his all-round goodness, not be confined in his car.

  ‘I’m not leaving ’til you do.’

  She lifted her head, mustered a glare that fell short considering sweat dripped in her eyes and her hair was plastered in lank strands across her forehead.

  Then she glimpsed the devastation clouding his eyes and something inside her broke.

  How could she treat this amazingly beautiful man so badly?

  He didn’t deserve this. He deserved a friendly parting, a thank you for giving her a job and a lifeline at a time she needed it most.

  So she sucked in her bruised pride and hobbled towards the car, feeling as if a baseball bat had battered her as she sank onto the plush leather seat.

  He didn’t speak, intuitive to her needs until the very end, and it only served to increase her respect and love and gratitude.

  When he pulled up outside her house, she mustered what was left of her minimal dignity.

  ‘Thanks for everything.’ Her breath hitched and she continued on a sob. ‘I’ll never forget you.’

  She fumbled with the door lock, tumbled out of the car and bolted without looking back.

  This time, he didn’t come after her.

  * * *

  Wade packed on autopilot.

  Suits in bags, shirts in the case, shoes stuffed in the sides, the rest flung over the top.

  He liked the mindless, methodical job. Kept his hands busy. Good thing too, because otherwise he’d be likely to thump something.

  Putting a hole in the wall of his penthouse wouldn’t be a good idea at this point, as he didn’t have time to organise plasterers to fix it.

  He wanted to be out of here. ASAP. Sooner the better.

  There was nothing left for him here any more. He’d done what he’d set out to do. Save Qu Publishing. Preserve his father’s legacy.

  Everything else that had happened? Blip on the radar. Soon forgotten when he returned to London.

  Until he made the fatal mistake of glancing at the bed and it all came flooding back.

  Liza on top, pinning his wrists overhead, her hair draping his chest.

  Liza beneath, straining up to meet him, writhing in pleasure.

  Liza snuggled in the circle of his arms, her hand over his chest, over his heart, keeping it safe.

  Or so he’d thought.

  With a groan he abandoned his packing and sank onto the bed, dropped his head in his hands and acknowledged the pain.

  He’d deliberately closed off after he’d left her house, had driven to his penthouse in a fog of numbness. It had worked for him before, when he’d made the decision to leave the family business and strike out on his own in London.

  He remembered his dad’s disappointment, his surprise, and the only way Wade had dealt with it back then was to erect emotional barriers and get on with the job.

  It served him well, being able to compartmentalise his life and his emotions, forgoing one for the sake of the other.

  But look how that had turned out, with his dad having a heart condition he knew nothing about and Wade distancing himself when he could’ve made the most of every moment.

  Maybe his coping mechanism wasn’t so crash hot after all?

  Maybe he’d be better off confronting his demons than running from them?

  Maybe he should lower the emotional barriers he’d raised to protect himself and take a chance on trusting someone again?

  For that was what had hurt him the most with his dad: that their breakdown in trust had affected how he interacted with everyone, fro
m his colleagues to his dates.

  He didn’t like letting anyone get close for fear of being let down, the way he’d felt when his dad had put Babs first at the expense of their relationship.

  He’d never understood how Quentin could tolerate their strained relationship for that woman.

  Until now.

  Love did strange things to a guy and if his dad had been half as smitten with Babs as Wade had been with Liza, he could justify his behaviour.

  It didn’t make accepting their lost years any easier or the lack of trust he’d instilled in his dad because of his withdrawal, both physical and emotional, but it went some way to easing the guilt.

  He wondered how different his life would be if he didn’t run this time.

  A thousand scenarios flashed through his head, the main one centred on Liza and him, together.

  He’d thought he’d made her an offer too good to refuse, a magnanimous gesture including her sister. But the more he thought about it, the more he realised how selfish he’d been.

  Had he really expected her to pack up, leave her support network and move halfway around the world to fit in with his life?

  At no stage had he contemplated staying in Melbourne. It had been a given he’d return to London and expect her to make all the sacrifices. He should’ve known she’d never agree.

  Maybe that was why he’d done it?

  Issued an offer he knew she could never accept?

  The thought rattled him.

  He’d never been emotionally involved with a woman, had kept his dalliances emotion free. The way he saw it, inviting her to live with him had been a huge step forward.

  But what if it wasn’t forward enough?

  He’d treated his dad the same way, not willing to see two sides of their story, intent on believing what he wanted to believe. It had ruined their relationship and driven an irrevocable wedge between them.

  It irked, how he’d never have a second chance with his dad. But it wasn’t too late to make amends with Liza....

  Wade leapt from the bed and headed to the lounge room, in search of his phone.

  He needed to put some feelers out, set some plans in motion, before he took the chance of his lifetime.

  This time, he wouldn’t stuff up.

  * * *

  Liza cherished movie nights with Cindy. She loved curling up on the couch, a massive bowl of popcorn and a packet of Tim Tams between them, laughing uproariously at their favourite comedies they rewatched countless times.

  But tonight, not even Peter Sellers and his Birdie Num Nums in the sixties hit The Party could dredge up a chuckle.

  Sadly, Cindy had picked up on her mood too, barely making a dent in the popcorn and chocolate biscuits when she usually devoured the lot.

  ‘Are you sad because Wade left?’

  Reluctant to discuss this with Cindy, Liza dragged her gaze from where Hrundi V. Bakshi, Sellers’s character, cavorted in a pool complete with a painted elephant, and forced a smile for her sis.

  ‘Yeah, I’ll miss him.’

  A tiny frown marred Cindy’s brow. ‘Where is he going?’

  ‘London.’

  ‘Wow.’ Cindy’s eyes widened to huge blue orbs. ‘London looked amazing during the Olympics. Wish we could go.’

  Cindy crammed another fistful of popcorn into her mouth, chewed, before continuing. ‘Maybe we could visit Wade there?’

  Stunned, Liza stared at Cindy. She’d never heard her sis articulate any great desire to travel. The furthest they’d been was Sydney when Jimmy had been up for a mega award, and Liza had spent the entire time torn between caring for Cindy and ensuring she presented the perfect WAG front when on Jimmy’s arm.

  It had been exhausting and she preferred to spend time with Cindy at home, while keeping her travels for WAG duties separate.

  Not that they’d been able to afford it. She’d been so busy saving every cent for the future she’d never contemplated wasting money on an overseas trip.

  ‘Wade’s a good guy. He likes you.’ Cindy smirked and made puckering noises. ‘I think you like him too.’

  Liza sighed. If only it were as simple as that.

  ‘London’s a long way away, sweetie—’

  ‘That’s what planes are for, dummy.’ Cindy elbowed her. ‘You should buy tickets. We should go.’

  Reeling from Cindy’s suggestion, Liza nudged the popcorn bowl closer and gestured at the TV, grateful when Cindy became absorbed in the movie again.

  She needed to think.

  Not that she’d contemplate flying to London on a holiday, not after she’d worked so hard to replace part of her nest egg for Cindy, but hearing Cindy’s request opened her eyes in a way she’d never thought possible.

  Had she been so focused on providing financial security she’d lost sight of the bigger picture? That in an effort to protect her sister she’d actually been stifling her?

  Guilt blossomed in her chest and she absent-mindedly rubbed it, wishing it were as simple to ease the continual ache in her heart.

  But since Wade had driven away last night, the pain had lingered, intensified, until she’d accepted it as a permanent fixture. Niggling, annoying, there until she got over him. Whenever that was.

  Cindy laughed as Peter Sellers navigated his way around the party from hell while Liza contemplated the disservice she’d been doing her sister.

  All these years she’d assumed Cindy had been content. But by her excitement about proposing a London trip, maybe Cindy was ready for adventures? Maybe she felt as if she was missing out somehow?

  In building a secure life, had Liza transferred her fear of abandonment onto Cindy, ensuring her sister was cloistered rather than free to grow?

  But she couldn’t move to London with Wade. It just wasn’t feasible or practical.

  Then again, hadn’t she lived a practical life the last decade? Faking smiles for the cameras, dressed in uncomfortable designer gear for events, pretending to like her date when she couldn’t wait to get home at the end of a long awards night.

  She’d built her entire reputation on a mirage, on a woman who didn’t exist, to the point she hardly knew the real her anymore.

  Yet Wade had taken a chance on her anyway.

  He’d trusted her enough, loved her enough, to offer her a new life and had included her sister in it.

  What kind of guy did that?

  An honourable, understanding, caring guy. A guy who wasn’t afraid of taking chances. Who wasn’t afraid of letting people into his life.

  Liza didn’t like risks. Losing her folks and losing her savings had ensured that.

  And if she couldn’t take risks with her life, no way would she take risks with Cindy’s.

  Which brought her right back to the beginning of her dilemma.

  She loved Wade. The only guy she’d ever truly loved.

  But she’d let him go because she was too scared to take a risk, was too scared he’d eventually walk away from her.

  ‘You’re missing the best bit,’ Cindy said, grabbing a Tim Tam and offering her the last one in the pack.

  ‘It’s all yours,’ Liza said, draping a hand across her sister’s shoulder and squeezing tight.

  Everything she did was for this incredible girl by her side and she’d have to keep remembering that over the next few months while her shattered heart took an eternity to mend.

  She’d like nothing better than to take a chance on Wade.

  But as Cindy snuggled into her side, Liza knew some risks were too big to take.

  THIRTEEN

  LIZA LITHGOW’S STYLE TIPS

  FOR MAXIMUM WAG WOW IMPACT

  The Wedding

  With a WAG’s busy lifestyle, planning a wedding is a monumental task.

 
For those with mega-famous sportsmen partners, it seems the eyes of the world will be on you throughout your big day.

  Here are a few tips to get you to the altar, smile intact:

  Plan well ahead. Don’t leave things to the last minute. And if it’s too much, hire the best wedding planner in town and delegate.

  Choose a theme for the wedding and stick to it. Makes co-ordination easier.

  If intrusive crowds on your special day are going to be a problem, consider marrying overseas (a beach in Bali, Fiji, Tahiti).

  If paparazzi are a problem, sell exclusive rights to your wedding to one magazine and donate the proceeds to charity.

  When it comes to bridesmaids and groomsmen, less is best. Keep it simple, classy, elegant.

  Designer dress is essential.

  Trial hair and make-up months before the big day.

  Insist on tasting everything being served beforehand.

  Funky cakes may look fun on paper but stick to the classics.

  Madcap photos may appeal at the photographer’s but when it’s your big day captured you might not find the Groucho masks all that funny.

  Assign the rings on the day to the most responsible groomsman.

  Fresh flowers.

  Keep the guest list to close friends and relatives. Inviting the whole team may be your fiancé’s priority but you don’t want your wedding turning into an end-of-

  season trip rendition.

  Make sure your iPod is loaded with all your favourite songs and plug your ears on the way to the ceremony.

  Garter removal and bouquet throwing are yesterday.

  Prepare a classy speech. Why should your guy hog the limelight constantly?

  Most importantly, make sure you book your wedding completely out of your partner’s sport season, taking into account drawn grand finals, replays and potential surgery due to injury.

  Look fabulous, strut down the aisle and WAG WOW!

  Wade had never been a gambler.

  He preferred to weigh the pros and cons of any decision carefully, consider all the options, before choosing the most logical, the most feasible.

  All that sensible bull had gone out of the window when he’d taken the biggest gamble of his life and asked Liza to meet him here.