The Book of Lies

by Agota Kristof

  "He's not my child, but he belongs to me now."

  On Monday, Lucas waits opposite the library. Evening comes and Clara does not appear. Lucas goes into the old, gray building, walks down the long corridor, knocks at the glass-paneled door. There is no answer; the door is locked.

  Lucas runs to Clara's house. He enters without knocking, goes into the kitchen, then the living room. The door to the bedroom is half open. Lucas calls, "Clara?"

  "Come in, Lucas."

  Lucas goes into the room. Clara is in bed. Lucas sits on the edge of the bed, takes Clara's hand. It is burning hot. He touches her forehead.

  "I'll go get a doctor."

  "No, it's not worth it. It's only a chill. I've got a headache and a sore throat, that's all."

  "Do you have any medicine for aches and fever?"

  "No, nothing. I'll see how I feel tomorrow. For now just light the fire and make some tea."

  While drinking the tea she says, "Thank you for coming, Lucas."

  "You knew I'd come back."

  "I hoped so. It's awful being ill when you're on your own."

  Lucas says, "You'll never be alone again, Clara."

  Clara presses Lucas's hand against her cheek. "I've treated you badly."

  "You treated me like a dog. It doesn't matter."

  He strokes Clara's hair, which is wet with perspiration.

  "Try to sleep. I'll go get some medicine and come back."

  "The pharmacy is probably already closed."

  "I'll make them open up."

  Lucas runs to the main square. He rings the bell of the only pharmacist in town. He rings several times. Finally a small window opens in the wooden door. The pharmacist asks, "What do you want?"

  "Medicine for fever and aches. It's urgent."

  "Do you have a prescription?"

  "I haven't had the time to see a doctor."

  "That doesn't surprise me. The problem is that it's more expensive without a prescription."

  "That doesn't matter."

  Lucas takes a bill from his pocket. The pharmacist brings him a bottle of tablets.

  Lucas runs to Grandmother's house. Yasmine and the child are in the kitchen. Yasmine says, "I've already taken care of the animals."

  "Thank you, Yasmine. Could you take the priest his meal tonight? I'm in a hurry."

  Yasmine says, "I don't know the priest. I don't want to see him."

  "You only have to leave the basket on the kitchen table."

  Yasmine is silent; she looks at Lucas.

  Lucas turns to Mathias. "This evening Yasmine will tell you a story."

  The child says, "Yasmine can't tell stories." "Well, you tell her one. And you can draw me a nice picture."

  "Yes, a nice picture."

  Lucas goes back to Clara. He dissolves two tablets in a glass of water, he takes it to Clara.

  "Drink it."

  Clara obeys. Soon she is asleep.

  Lucas goes down into the cellar with his flashlight. In the corner there is a small pile of charcoal, and there are sacks lined along the wall. Some of the sacks are open; others are tied up with string. Lucas looks in one of the sacks: it is full of potatoes. He unties the string on another sack: it contains charcoal briquettes. He tips the contents of the sack onto the floor; four or five briquettes and two dozen books fall out. Lucas picks out a book and puts the others back in the sack. He goes back upstairs with the book and the bucket of charcoal.

  Sitting beside Clara's bed, he reads.

  The next morning, Clara asks, "You stayed here all night?"

  "Yes. I slept very well."

  He makes some tea, gives Clara the tablets, relights the fire. Clara takes her temperature. She is still feverish.

  Lucas says, "Stay in bed. I'll come back at noon. What would you like to eat?"

  She says, "I'm not hungry. But can I ask you to go to the council office to tell them I'm out sick?"

  "I will. Don't worry."

  Lucas goes to the council office. Then he goes home, kills a chicken, and boils it up with some vegetables. At noon, he takes some soup to Clara. She drinks a little.

  Lucas says to her, "I went down into the cellar yesterday for the charcoal. I saw the books. You carried them in your basket, didn't you?"

  She says, "Yes. I couldn't bear the thought of them destroying them all."

  "Will you allow me to read them?"

  "Read all you want. But be careful. I'm risking imprisonment."

  "I know."

  In the late afternoon, Lucas goes home. There's nothing to do in the garden at this time of year. Lucas sees to the animals, then listens to records in his room. The child knocks; Lucas lets him in.

  The child climbs onto the double bed. He asks, "Why is Yasmine crying?"

  "She's crying?"

  "Yes. Nearly all the time. Why?"

  "Hasn't she told you why?"

  "I'm afraid to ask her."

  Lucas turns away to change the record.

  "She's probably crying for her father, who is in prison."

  "What's prison?"

  "It's a big building with bars in the windows. They lock people up there."

  "Why?"

  "For all sorts of reasons. They say that they are dangerous. My father was also locked up."

  The child raises his large, dark eyes to Lucas.

  "Could they lock you up as well?"

  "Yes, me as well."

  The child sniffs, his little lip trembles.

  "And me?"

  Lucas lifts him onto his knees, he kisses him.

  "No, not you. They don't lock up children."

  "But when I grow up?"

  Lucas says, "Things will have changed by then and no one will be locked up anymore."

  The child is silent for a moment, then asks, "The ones who are locked up will never be able to get out of prison!"

  Lucas says, "They will get out someday."

  "Yasmine's father as well?"

  "Yes, of course."

  "And she'll stop crying?"

  "Yes, she'll stop crying."

  "And will your father get out too?"

  "He already got out."

  "Where is he?"

  "He's dead. He had an accident."

  "If he hadn't got out, he wouldn't have had an accident."

  Lucas says, "I have to go now. Go back to the kitchen, and don't talk to Yasmine about her father. You'll make her cry even more. Be nice and obedient to her."

  Standing in the kitchen doorway, Yasmine asks, "You're going out, Lucas?"

  Lucas halts at the garden gate. He doesn't answer.

  Yasmine says, "I'd just like to know if I have to go to the priest's house myself again."

  "If you would, Yasmine. I haven't got the time."

  Lucas spends his nights by Clara's side until Friday.

  On Friday morning Clara says, "I feel better. I'll go back to work on Monday. You don't have to spend your nights here. You've given me so much of your time."

  "What do you mean, Clara?" "I'd like to be alone this evening."

  "He is coming! Is that it?"

  She lowers her eyes and doesn't reply.

  Lucas says, "You can't do this to me!"

  Clara looks Lucas in the eyes. "You reproached me for acting like an old woman. You were right. I'm still young."

  Lucas asks, "Who is he? Why does he only come on Fridays? Why doesn't he marry you?"

  "He's already married."

  Clara cries.

  Lucas asks, "Why are you crying? I should be the one who's crying."

  In the evening, Lucas goes to the bar. After closing time, he walks around the streets. It is snowing. Lucas stops in front of Peter's house. The windows are dark. Lucas rings; no one answers. Lucas rings again.

  A window opens. Peter asks, "Who's there?"

  "It's me. Lucas."

  "Stay there, Lucas. I'm coming."

  The window closes and soon the door opens. Peter says, "Come in, lost soul."

  Pe
ter is in his dressing gown. Lucas says, "I woke you. I'm sorry."

  "It's not important. Sit down."

  Lucas sits in a leather armchair.

  "I can't face going home in this cold. It's too far, and I've had too much to drink. Can I sleep here?"

  "Of course, Lucas. Take my bed. I'll sleep on the sofa."

  "I prefer the sofa. So I can leave when I wake up without disturbing you."

  "As you wish, Lucas. Make yourself comfortable. I'll fetch a blanket."

  Lucas takes off his jacket and his boots. He lies down on the sofa. Peter returns with a thick blanket. He lays it over Lucas and puts some cushions under his head. He sits down next to him on the sofa.

  "What's wrong, Lucas? Is it about Yasmine?"

  Lucas shakes his head. "Everything at home is fine. I just wanted to see you."

  Peter says, "I don't believe you."

  Lucas takes Peter's hand and presses it to his abdomen. Peter pulls his hand away. He gets up.

  "No, Lucas. Don't come into this world of mine."

  He goes to his room, closes the door.

  Lucas waits. A few hours later he gets up. He opens the door quietly, approaches Peter's bed. Peter is asleep. Lucas leaves the room, closes the door, pulls on his boots, picks up his jacket, checks to see that his weapons are still in the pocket, and leaves the house without a sound. He goes to Station Road. He waits outside Clara's house.

  A man leaves the house. Lucas follows him, then passes him on the other side of the street. To get home, the man has to go past a small park. There Lucas hides himself behind some bushes. He wraps the large red scarf knitted by Yasmine around his head, and when the man arrives, he stands up in front of him. He recognizes him. It is one of the doctors from the hospital who examined Mathias.

  The doctor says, "Who are you? What do you want?"

  Lucas grabs the man by the lapel of his coat, pulls a razor from his pocket.

  "If you go to see her again I'll cut your throat."

  "You're insane! I've just been on night duty at the hospital."

  "Don't bother lying. I'm not joking. I'm capable of anything. Today is just a warning."

  Lucas takes a stocking full of gravel from his jacket pocket and strikes the man on the head with it. The man falls senseless to the icy ground.

  Lucas goes back to Peter's, lies down on the sofa, and goes to sleep. Peter wakes him at seven o'clock with some coffee.

  "I came to check on you earlier. I thought you had gone home."

  Lucas says, "I haven't moved from here all night. It's important, Peter."

  Peter looks at him long and hard. "I understand, Lucas."

  Lucas goes home. Yasmine says to him, "A policeman came. You have to go to the police station. What has happened, Lucas?"

  Mathias says, "They are going to lock Lucas up in prison. And Lucas will never come home."

  The child snickers. Yasmine grabs his arm and slaps him. "Will you shut up?"

  Lucas grabs the child from Yasmine and takes him in his arms. He wipes the tears from his face.

  "Don't be afraid, Mathias. They won't lock me up."

  The child stares Lucas straight in the eyes. He stops crying. He says, "Too bad."

  Lucas presents himself at the police station. He is shown the way to the commissioner's office. Lucas knocks and enters. Clara and the doctor are sitting with a policeman.

  The commissioner says, "Hello, Lucas. Sit down."

  Lucas sits on a chair next to the man he knocked out a few hours previously.

  The commissioner asks, "Do you recognize your attacker, doctor?"

  "I wasn't attacked, I told you. I slipped on the ice."

  "And you fell on your back. Our officers found you lying on your back. It's strange that you have a lump on your forehead."

  "I probably fell forward, then turned over as I began to regain consciousness."

  The commissioner says, "Of course. You claim that you were on night duty at the hospital. According to our information you left the hospital at nine o'clock in the evening, and you spent the night with this lady."

  The doctor says, "I didn't want to compromise her."

  The commissioner turns to Lucas. "The lady's neighbors have seen you enter her house on numerous occasions."

  Lucas says, "I've been doing her shopping for her for some time. Especially last week when she was ill."

  "We know that you didn't go home last night. Where were you?"

  "I was too tired to go home. When the bars closed I went to a friend's house and spent the night there. I left at half past seven."

  "Who is this friend? A drinking buddy, I suppose."

  "No. He's the Party Secretary."

  "You claim you spent the night at the Party Secretary's house?"

  "Yes. He made me some coffee at seven o'clock this morning."

  The commissioner leaves the room.

  The doctor turns to Lucas, stares at him. Lucas returns his gaze. The doctor looks at Clara. Clara looks out of the window.

  The doctor stares straight ahead; he says, "I haven't brought charges against you, even though I recognize you perfectly. It was some border guards on patrol who found me and brought me here, like a common drunk. This is all very unfortunate for me. I ask you for your total discretion. I am an internationally renowned psychiatrist. I have children."

  Lucas says, "Your only solution is to leave this town. It's a small town. Sooner or later, everyone will know. Even your wife."

  "Is that a threat?"

  "Yes."

  "I've been assigned to this godforsaken hole. It's not for me to decide where I go."

  "It doesn't matter. Ask for a transfer."

  The commissioner comes in with Peter. Peter looks at Lucas, then at Clara, then at the doctor. The commissioner says, "Your alibi is confirmed, Lucas."

  He turns to the doctor. "I think we'll leave it there, doctor. You slipped while returning from the hospital. The case is closed."

  The doctor asks Peter, "Can I see you on Monday at your office? I wish to leave this town."

  Peter says, "Certainly. You can count on my help."

  The doctor gets up, offers Clara his hand. "I'm sorry."

  Clara turns her head away. The doctor leaves the room, saying, "Thank you, gentlemen."

  Lucas says to Clara, "I'll walk you home."

  Clara goes out ahead of him without saying a word.

  Lucas and Peter also leave the commissioner's office. Peter watches Clara leave. "So it was because of her."

  Lucas says, "Do everything you can, Peter, to get this man transferred. If he stays in this town he's a dead man."

  Peter says, "I believe you. You're crazy enough to do it. Don't worry. He'll leave. But if she loved him, do you realize what you've done to her?"

  Lucas says, "She doesn't love him."

  It is already almost noon when Lucas gets home from the police station.

  The child says, "They didn't lock you up?"

  Yasmine says, "I hope it was nothing serious."

  Lucas says, "No. Everything is all right. They needed me as a witness to a fight."

  Yasmine says, "You'd better go and see the priest. He's stopped eating. He hasn't touched anything I took him yesterday or the day before."

  Lucas takes a bottle of goat's milk and goes to the priest's house. The congealed food stands on the kitchen table. The stove is cold. Lucas crosses an empty room and enters the bedroom without knocking. The priest is in bed.

  Lucas asks, "Are you ill?"

  "No, I'm just cold. I'm always cold."

  "I brought you enough wood. Why don't you warm yourself up?"

  The priest says, "I have to economize. On wood and everything else."

  "You're just too lazy to light the fire."

  "I am old, I don't have enough strength left."

  "You don't have enough strength because you don't eat."

  "I have no appetite. Since you no longer bring the meals, I have no appetite."

  Lu
cas hands him his dressing gown. "Get dressed and come to the kitchen."

  He helps the old man into his dressing gown, he helps him to walk to the kitchen, he helps him to sit on the bench. He pours him a cup of milk. The priest drinks.

  Lucas says, "You can't go on living on your own. You are too old."

  The priest puts his cup down. He looks at Lucas.

  "I'm leaving, Lucas. My superiors have recalled me. I'm going to retire to a monastery. There won't be a priest in this town anymore. The priest from the neighboring town will come once a week to celebrate mass."

  "It's a sensible decision. I'm happy for you."

  "I will miss this town. I've been here for forty-five years."

  After a silence, the priest continues. "You have taken care of me all these years as if you were my own son. I would like to thank you. But how can I repay you for so much love and so much goodness?"

  "Don't thank me. There is no love and no goodness in me."

  "That's what you think, Lucas. I'm convinced of the contrary. You have suffered a wound from which you have not yet recovered."

  Lucas is silent. The priest continues. "I feel that I am leaving you during a particularly difficult time in your life, but I will be with you in spirit and I will pray always for the salvation of your soul. You have taken the wrong course. I sometimes wonder where you will end up. Your passionate and tortured nature can drive you to the worst extremes. But I live in hope. God's mercy is infinite."

  The priest gets up and takes Lucas's face in his hands. " 'Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them…' "

  Lucas lowers his head; his forehead rests on the priest's chest.

  " 'While the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain…' It's Ecclesiastes."

  The priest's frail body shakes with sobbing. "Yes. You recognized it. You still remember. When you were a child you knew entire pages of the Bible by heart. Do you still find the time to read it sometimes?"

  Lucas frees himself. "I've got a lot of work. And I have other books to read."

  The priest says, "I understand. I also know that my sermons bore you. Go now, and don't come back. I'm leaving tomorrow on the first train."

  Lucas says, "I wish you a peaceful retirement, Father."

  He goes home. He says to Yasmine, "The priest is going away tomorrow. There's no need to take him food anymore."