Filthy Love

by V. Theia

  “You should mean it, little bit. I’m no good for you but I fucking want you and I’m a selfish fucker who won’t let you walk away now just because my big mouth spits shit out of it.”

  ******

  While Gia made a frustrated noise and fired her gorgeous blue stare at him, Hawk banded arms around her waist and carried her through to the living room, plonking his heavy self on the sofa with her on his lap. If she was gonna rail him, like it seemed, then he’d be comfortable with her sweet ass on his cock. Nuzzling her neck, she truly did rail him. “You are so stubborn. So, fucking stubborn it drives me insane. You just won’t allow yourself to be happy.” She gave his hair a yank which he fucking loved by moaning. “You’d rather flog yourself and make us both miserable. You don’t tell me shit about yourself, like you’re a big fucking mystery. Everything I know I’ve glued together from others. I don’t suppose you’ll even tell me how you’re so beat up.”

  He grunted. “He looks worse.”

  “Who?”

  “Lawless.”

  “You and Lawless fought? Why?”

  He rolled a shoulder and asked. “Are you miserable?”

  She scoffed and rolled her pretty eyes, gave a little wiggle to make his dick happy. He thought she was amazing. Beautiful. Too good for him. Fuckable. Suckable. Perfect. And his. “Not right now, no. You, stubborn ass. I’m making a point here.”

  “I get it.” He did. He was not winning any fucking prizes for being emotionally savvy that was for fucking sure. He kissed the top of her head, inhaling the coconut fragrance she bathed in. “Our timing is shit.”

  “Only if you let it. I’m here. You’re here. What more do we need?”

  “I’m not a good man, Gia. Keep telling you that.”

  She pinched his belly and made him jerk. And his cock hardened. If he’d thought fucking Gia would make his addiction to her disappear he was a colossal fucking moron. It tripled and buried a hole in the lining of his gut and it blazed night and day. He couldn’t get her out of his head even if wanted to.

  And then, his sweet little bit, the woman who owned every fucked-up piece of him blew his brains out of his skull by saying. “Do you want to know my secret? I don’t care if you’re a good man or not. I just want you to be my man.”

  “Time for bed,” he growled sweeping her into his arms, loving how she wrapped her arms and legs and buried her hands in the back of his hair and gave him a half-lidded dreamy grin.

  Midway along the hallway he said. “I screw up, Gia. I’m walking blind here. I have an ocean of darkness inside me to see through. And that’s not me blasting some poetic hippy bullshit. It’s how I feel.”

  She stroked his hair like she was comforting him. Her eyes were soft. “Because you feel, right?”

  Hawk’s brow furrowed. “Yeah.”

  “Feeling is good. Feeling sometimes hurts, but when it’s good, it’s amazingly freeing, Hawk. Let yourself feel.”

  He got lost in the feel of her lips across his cheek, blood rushed to his groin and he almost tripped over his own fucking feet in his haste to get into her bedroom.

  Fucking his Gia right now was all that was on his mind, not digging into his psyche but he knew she needed the words as much as their physical connection.

  “Loving someone shouldn’t be the most difficult thing you do. It’s the easiest. As natural as taking that first breath and all the ones that come after it. I didn’t plan on falling in love with you when I was too young to fully understand the complete structure of how it would own my entire heart from that day on. How could I have planned for a man like you, Hawk?” She laughed a little, churning his insides every time he heard her say those words. “You think I loved you too soon or shouldn’t love you at all. But I won’t ever regret it.”

  And right then as he slid Gia down to her feet and she gave him her sexy little smile of hers that pushed blood directly to his wanting cock, about to dive into kissing those lips that declared love for the fucking monster, his phone vibrated.

  He should have ignored it.

  Seeing a new Nebraska number on screen had acid rising into his throat. That fucking fuck! Blood bled behind his eyes, rage … and fear growing quickly.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He ended the call and switched it off, shoved it away. “No one I wanna talk to right now.”

  “Who was it? You look ready to rip someone’s head off.” Hawk realized he hadn’t breathed in seconds, he dragged in air and avoided.

  He went for normal, there was no fucking way he was spilling this bullshit to her. Flicking a cocky smirk, he touched the edge of her shirt. “Take your clothes off, baby.”

  “Seriously? We’re not even gonna talk about that?” She knocked his hand away. “I need a shower.” She snapped without looking at him. “You can stay or go, it’s up to you as always, but if you stay be ready to use words of more than one grunted syllable, baby.” And she turned on her bare feet and left him metaphorically holding his cock.

  Well he fucked that up as always.

  No intentions of leaving, he discarded his coat and cut on the floor, loosened the laces on his boots and threw himself in the soft armchair over in the corner. Every inch of the bedroom was Gia. All pinks, whites and softness. He let it soak into his skin while he did his best to ignore the fucking phone call. Either the money never arrived which he’d knew was a goddamn lie or they wanted more. The latter being the more obvious.

  Greedy cunt. He needed rid of that problem.

  Hawk listened to the water come on and imaged his Gia soaking wet and not just from the water. He wanted to be the one to have her soaked. Because that was the deviant bastard he was.

  She was right, he felt more now than ever. And it was because of her.

  Had he been born with a soul? It was doubtable. He was told from a young age how evil he was. He’d often wondered if it were possible to walk upright, conversing and participating with life with just the idea of where his soul should be. He felt wrong, as if he’d put together with pieces missing in the haste to make him. Worse, did people see that lack in him?

  Is that why everyone left in the end?

  The image of Gia filled his head.

  The flow of her dark, rich hair, and the intoxicating way she had of looking at everyone as if they were the only person in the world, her focus was absolute and each person that met her knew it. She deserved a man with a soul, didn’t she? A man with a moral compass that pointed in the correct direction, not a man who’d killed and would kill, not a man who couldn’t feel guilt for the things he’d done in his life. A man with a soul would care.

  He wished he could be different, because as fucked up as he felt, he was capable of loving someone. He loved her, had loved her for a very long time.

  Wrong disgusting love, forbidden love only he knew about.

  A love that would drive him to his death if he were lucky.

  But a prick like Hawk wasn’t fortunate, for fucks sake how often had he been near death and he was here to tell the tale? It was sheer obstinate will and not luck.

  As usual just when he got back on even footing that cunt reared their ugly head to fuck with him again.

  If for the fact he’d have to be in their presence he would have killed them a long fucking time ago. The thought of it brought a sickness to his gut.

  Those childish chants from years ago echoed in his ears.

  For a cold-blooded killer, Hawk was still controlled by the acts of others so long ago.

  And he didn’t think it would ever change.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  “The possessive side of a surly biker. I like. I want. I need.” - Gia

  Hating the distance, he popped up, discarded both boots, he stalked through to the bathroom, walked into the billowing steam like he had a right to see his little bit naked behind the fogged glass.

  Seeing him standing there she wiped the condensation and stared at him through the glass and didn’t the teasing thing cup soaped hands over her
tits, running them in circles.

  Fucking hell.

  His voice was low and pained. “Stop fucking looking at me like that, Gia. Swear to Christ. I’m not a goddamn saint. I want you.”

  Watching her shower? He was the luckiest SOB that had legs. But talk about being cursed. Every part of Hawk ached. Nothing was left out of that gutting sensation. Not his fingers. Not his belly, not his hair and not his raging cock.

  She deserved more, better, and he was gonna move fucking mountains to give it to her. Starting right now.

  She fucking smiled real damn slowly and slid the door open. Coconut scent hit his nose.

  “I need a man’s hand, one with calluses and a man's firm touch, a man who knows what he wants and doesn’t punk out every time things get difficult. I need your hand, Colton.”

  He reached for her, but she warded him off. Her tits dripped water from soft peaks and his mouth dried to suck them. “Gia…” he cautioned.

  She could have his hands day and night if she wanted them. Make her scream and pant.

  “Admit you’re right for me.” She was a slippery little thing avoiding his hands when she swerved out of his way nearly dancing towards the towel used to dot the water from her body, she bent at the waist, ran it up her legs, her inner thigh, over her flat belly.

  Hawk’s vision blinked out and he grabbed his shirt at the back of his neck, hauled it off in one fell swoop.

  Next was his belt and he kicked off his jeans leaving him naked.

  “I want to fuck you in ways that make you ache when you have flashbacks in the morning over breakfast.”

  “So, say it.”

  “When I'm through with you, the neighbors will need a cigarette.”

  “Hawk.” Her foot stomped before her swept up a hundred pounds of perfect woman and smashed her lips under his, licking and biting until she moaned. “Say you’re it for me, baby. No other man is better for me than you, say it.” She was rough with his hair and he fucking loved it, she could claw his skin off and he’d thank her for it.

  “How would you feel if I wasn’t around?” Gia pressed him when he had her on the bed making room in between her legs for him.

  He grunted, stroking his mouth over her belly, between her breasts.

  “Would you hate it if I was dating someone else?”

  A growl boiled out of him and he sucked her nipple hard rousing a moan from her.

  “Mine.” He told her and meant it. He’d kill a dipshit for trying to date her.

  “Exactly, I’m yours. Give me the same in return.”

  Though his little bit of a thing fought him with words and her angry little kitten growl her body arched under his, bending her neck she made room for his lips as his hands lifted her into his first thrust and the fucking pleasure nearly split his skull in two.

  This was what he needed. Only this, only her. The demons of the past got lost in the fog of how good he felt when he started to pump into her.

  Gia avoided his lips the minute he leaned down to kiss her. His brow creased.

  “Gia…” He coaxed softly. “I won’t allow you to close me out, not when I’m rammed ten inches deep inside ecstasy. Not when you made this happen, little bit, you signed yourself over to me. Open your eyes and see the man who wants everything.” With a motion gentler than he thought possible when she was trying to push him free he leaned his whole weight on top of her body. “You don’t get to take back my everything. You gave me this pussy. It’s mine now. You’re mine now.”

  “Yours?” She scoffed, lifting her hips into the slams, nails gouged out his forearms and she made the sweetest sounds he’d ever heard. Her eyes blazing how angry she was even though her body was ready to come. “I’m only yours in private.”

  “Shut that ripe, gorgeous little dick-teasing mouth, Gia, before I shut it for you.”

  When he slammed into her he muttered the vilest curse against her cheek, he was seeing deities and the fucking devil all at once and he didn’t believe in any of them. Like he'd lost all sense of reality and was acting out the deepest of his hidden fantasies like a man possessed, he was death row, and this was his last meal.

  He loved her so fucking much it broke his brain until he couldn't think anymore, just act on his depravity he'd tucked away, just feel she’d said.

  She was his catnip, his opiate, his reason for everything.

  And he fucked her. And he fucked her.

  The longest strokes.

  The deepest, hardest strokes.

  She bowed her back, clawed him raw, feeding her pussy to him, his little bit groaned his name so loud it sounded like music and he pumped her even harder, unable to stop.

  All he could hear was her chants. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, Hawk. He couldn’t ignore the slow throb in groin, all the blood in his body sluggish as it traveled there, his dick demanded it all as he grew harder inside her.

  There came a time when he had to accept the situation he was in.

  There was no putting Gia back in the box he’d always had her in. He had to trust in what she said, that he was it for her.

  For fucks sake, he was falling down the black hole of love with no exit in sight.

  As their climaxes crested, her cries ringing like hot harmony in his ears, he buried his face in her throat, kissing her hammering pulse.

  Hawk's orgasm paralyzed him.

  He didn’t rail it into her.

  He pushed deep, and as his release started, rather than thrust his come into her, he simply remained motionless and filled his little bit.

  “You’re mine and I fucking belong to you to do with what you want any time you want. I’m a Gia branded motherfucker.”

  Her laugh reached right down into his damaged heart that even when his phone vibrated ten more times that night he didn’t feel so sick inside.

  ******

  An immoderate time later, a sex worn Gia sprawled on top of Hawk, purring as she played her fingers in his chest hair. “What if I can’t make you happy?” He asked softly...almost anguished.

  The fingers going up and down her naked spine didn’t cease their travels. Good thing she was sex sated or she might have overreacted at Hawk’s question. Instead she circled around his nipple until it puckered. “Are you going to beat me?”

  His head reared. Nostrils flared. “Fuck no.”

  Gia patted him to make him relax. “Will you be verbally cruel?”

  Calmer this time, as if he knew where she was going with this. He shook his messy head and grunted. “No.”

  “Will you give me all your attention because I’m a spoiled brat and will want it?” Something like relief and hope flickered through those gorgeous eyes. She smiled, curling deeper into Hawk’s chest. Lust flickered in the banks of his gaze.

  He didn’t realize what a simple man he was to make happy if only he’d let her.

  And how hungry he was to love someone.

  To love her. Just let go, my lonely man, I’m right here.

  “Maybe.” His head dipped. Gia grinned to herself.

  “Then you don’t sound all that bad to me. It’s a good start.”

  The thing with being in love with a guy who didn’t think much of himself was, he was the antidote to his own poison.

  She was a trained psychologist deeply in love with an emotionally vacant screwed-up guy and she had no clue why yet, only she understood unquestionably, he meant it every time he called himself a monster. Maybe not her wisest choice, but the heart wanted what it wanted.

  “No more talking,” Hawk demanded in his rough timber, he dragged her further on top of him, splitting her legs roughly, he positioned his hard cock at her entrance, Gia whimpered excited, her skin on fire.

  Right when she was going to sink down and impale herself, his phone buzzed multiple times. “God fucking dammit!” He cursed grabbing it and barked a “What?” Gia swallowed back a giggle as his large hand covered her whole left boob. He squeezed, he petted, and he tormented her.

  “It’ll have to wait, Pr
ez.”

  Ohh, shit. It was Rider.

  Her eyes wide with shock. She’d been holding herself off his cock to tease him, the surprise of knowing her brother was on the end of the call while she was straddled naked on his VP had her sinking low and before she knew it she’d taken Hawk’s cock deep inside herself.

  Shaking them both.

  She slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her moan. Hawk’s hand moved from her boob down to grip her hip tightly to keep her from moving.

  “Later, busy now. Yeah, right. Fuck, okay, Rider, Jesus, don’t you have, I don’t know, a fucking bed with your old lady to get to? It’ll keep. Later.” He hung up.

  Her groan was one of need and amusement as she began to leisurely rock taking that massive length as deep as she could. “You’re not leaving.” She told him forcibly. She’d keep him between her legs if she had to.

  “Not going anywhere,” he agreed fisting both hands on her hips helping to push them back to the perfect angle to slide him deeper. “Now ride the fuck out of me.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  “Brother-interruptus. Maybe the universe was telling us something.” – Gia

  The same happened the next morning when Gia was standing in just a sleep shirt making coffee. Hawk kissing the back of her nape. He only wore unbuttoned jeans.

  And Rider called her.

  “Shit. Be quiet.” She swatted at the hands sliding under the shirt towards her boobs. He didn’t listen and by the time she’d squeaked a good morning to her brother Hawk was plastered to her back, digging his cock into her ass and sucking on her neck.

  God, it felt amazing. She bumped him with her ass and he groaned. Loudly.