Protecting You (A McCord Family Novel Book 1)

by Amanda Siegrist

  Zane decided to sit up. He pushed his feet to make the swing drift in a gentle pace. "What's so funny about that question? You talk about her a lot when you call home, Austin too sometimes, when he comes back from New York. She must be quite a woman."

  Jimmy blew out a breath. "You have no idea. She is quite a woman, but she's like a sister to me." He paused briefly. "You know you say she can be a bit rough around the edges. I wouldn't argue with that. She can be tough with some people. Do you know who she reminds me of?"

  Zane wasn't sure he wanted to know. "Who?"

  "You, my big brother."

  "She sounds nothing like me. I'm not rough around the edges."

  "Says the man who badgers me most phone calls to come home. You're tough on me and you know it." Jimmy softly finished, "I love you, though."

  "Love you, too, you little snot," Zane muttered as he pushed his feet again to swing some more.

  "I think you would make a good couple, actually. I can picture it. You should come visit and meet her sometime. I'd bet you'd never leave again," Jimmy said wistfully.

  Zane laughed. "That, little brother, will never happen. You know I don't like that city. Get the dreamers out of your eyes because I would never move to the big city for a woman. If she's willing to move here, bring her home. Then we'll talk. Is she easy on the eyes?"

  Jimmy laughed back. "She's perfect for you."

  ***

  Zane blinked a few times and tried to adjust to his surroundings. It didn't take long to figure out why everything seemed so peculiar when he felt the soft body lying on his chest. He glimpsed at Ava's clock. It was five o'clock. He had fallen asleep, not regretting it for one moment. Ava on the other hand, may not appreciate it. He hadn't meant to stay the rest of the night, but damn glad he didn't rely on an alarm clock and his body just knew when to wake up. Imagine if Austin came looking for him and found him in Ava's room. Explaining to Austin why Ava was wrapped in his arms wasn't a conversation he wanted to have. Leaving her wasn't something he was ready for either.

  Shifting his body from underneath her so he could sneak out, Ava whispered, "Please tell me it's not already time to get up."

  "Okay, I won't tell you it's already time to get up."

  She lifted her head at him and grinned. "Are you being a smartass?"

  He smiled back. "My dad always taught me to listen to a woman when she tells you to do something. You told me not to tell you."

  She started laughing softly. "Oh, you are being a smartass. Very nice, Zane." Ava breathed deeply. "Your dad also taught you to keep promises, too?"

  "Yes," he said, hesitantly.

  She still smiled at him as she said, "Well, thank you for keeping your promise on helping me get to sleep."

  "You're not mad I fell asleep, too? It was an accident, I swear." He hoped she wasn't mad, but he wasn't sorry he never left.

  "No. I'm appreciative of it. Not to mention you make a great pillow. You didn't even get under the covers. You had to have been cold all night," Ava said as she looked at him lying on top of the covers while she was still underneath them.

  He pulled her into a hug and whispered, "Na, I was comfy. You kept me warm." He gently let her go and rolled to a sitting position. "Time for work. I'll meet you in the kitchen."

  He got up from the bed, smiling at her before he opened the door and walked out.

  ***

  The morning went fast. By the afternoon, when she normally hung around Austin, Zane appeared and joined them. It had been her first wonderful day, looking forward to each minute to roll by and what Zane may say next. He could be humorous when he wanted to be. Her heart soared, her mind deliriously happy that he was sharing this private part of himself for once.

  The two of them were leaning on the fence watching the horses in the corral when Zane said, "What do you call a frog going from bar to bar?"

  Ava looked at him as she balanced herself on the railing with her arms. "What?"

  "It's a joke. What do you call a frog going from bar to bar?"

  Ava smiled. "A joke? I didn't know you did jokes."

  Zane smiled awkwardly. "Well, I do. So, try answering my joke."

  "Hmm. A frog going bar to bar? I have no idea," Ava said with a grin, enjoying this goofy side of him.

  So new. So refreshing. She could find herself yearning for more of this, if she didn't watch her emotions. This tender side made him that much more attractive, the desire spurring deeper into her soul.

  "A hopping frog," Zane said with a laugh. "You know bar-hopping. A hopping frog."

  Ava chuckled. "That's not really funny, Zane."

  "Really? Because I'm positive you just laughed and smiled about it. I would say it's good," Zane replied with a grin.

  Ava laughed and jumped down from the railing. Zane followed suit. "That is very true, I did laugh. But at you silly, not the joke."

  "I don't know. I think it was at the joke. I'm just that good," Zane said with a wink.

  "Good at what?" Austin asked as he walked up to them.

  "Eww. You stink, Austin." She cringed her nose at the foul smell of manure emanating from him.

  "Yeah, I know. I almost slipped and got some manure on my boots and a little on my pants. I was going to go change when I saw you two laughing over here. What does Zane think he's so good at?" Austin asked again with a wide grin.

  "Supposedly his jokes, but I told him it wasn't that funny," Ava said with a grin, glancing at Zane.

  "You laughed. Makes it funny in my eyes," Zane replied.

  "Please tell me it wasn't the frog joke," Austin said with a groan. When Ava's eyebrows rose in a mock gesture at Zane, he laughed. "Oh, man, he threw that one at you. He made that joke up when we were kids and thought it was the joke of the century. It's so lame."

  "It's not lame and I'll have you know everyone always laughs. That's the point of a joke, right? To make people laugh," Zane said a bit defensively.

  "I hate to break it to you, Zane, but we're laughing at you, not at the joke," Austin said with a playful grin as he slapped his brother on the shoulder and squeezed. "We don't want to hurt your feelings on how horrible it really is."

  "So that means you don't want to hear my joke about the cow?" Zane asked with a sly grin.

  Austin shook his head and started to walk away. "I'll pass, thank you. I have to change my pants. Perhaps Ava wants to hear about the cow."

  Zane looked at her expectantly. Amused, she said, "Go ahead. I'm dying to hear the cow joke."

  "Why does a cow have four legs?" he asked, laughing already at his brilliance.

  "Ooh, this must be a good one because you're already laughing. Four legs? You got me again. Other than that's how they are anatomically formed, I have no idea," Ava said, enjoying this afternoon the more it went along.

  "To help them moooove around," Zane said as he annunciated the word move as a cow mooing.

  Ava burst out laughing this time. "Now that's a good one. You've never told Austin that one?"

  "No. Just thought of it right now. Maybe I should try being a joke writer," he said as they started to walk back to the white barn.

  "Maybe, but I wouldn't quit your day job just yet," Ava said with a grin.

  ***

  When bedtime came, Zane watched Austin walk Ava to bed as he did every night. It was hard to break the routine they had established from the beginning. The strong urge to grab Ava away from Austin's presence was enough to make him go insane. He interrupted part of their routine today by sticking close to her, but he couldn't seem to move to push Austin out of the way. Austin was already confused by his actions today. The few questioning looks thrown his way or the way his eyes followed Zane as if he were trying to figure something out. Yet, Austin never uttered a word to him.

  As Zane made his way to bed, he briefly paused at her door. Should he knock? Did she want him to sleep with her again? Had the moment they shared passed? He treasured this day, as he had never done before because it was the first time she enjoyed
herself with him. Not just Austin. She even smiled at him. And he loved her smile.

  His hand stayed poised in position, faltering at the last second. The risk of refusal would ruin the day if she shut him down tonight. He lowered his hand and continued to his bedroom.

  He threw the covers to the middle of the bed when a small faint knock sounded on his door. Now Austin decided to talk to him about today. He wasn't in the mood to explain his feelings about Ava. Probably never would. He walked to the door in nothing but his boxers, ready to ream into Austin, and opened it.

  Ava gasped as her eyes grazed his body from top to bottom.

  "Hi, Ava."

  Her eyes roaming his body stimulated him like nothing else. And there was no mistaking the huge bulge sticking out this time. The way her eyes glided over him, drove the desire front and center. He wanted her so badly.

  "I didn't mean to interrupt you getting ready for bed," Ava said as a blush crept up her neck to her cheeks.

  "What did you mean to do by knocking on my door? It's almost eleven," he said, still grinning, enjoying her beautiful face and the way it lit up so gloriously.

  "Right. Good point. Sorry for interrupting you. I'll just go back to bed now," Ava rushed out quickly and went to turn when he stopped her with his hand on her arm.

  "What's the matter? Just tell me," Zane said softly.

  Ava looked shyly at him. "Can you sleep with me?" She turned a deeper shade of red. "I mean not sleep, sleep—like sex. I mean actually sleeping—with our eyes closed. That kind of sleep."

  He tried not to smile or laugh. She was incredibly adorable tongue-tied. "Of course I can. I hate you having nightmares just as I'm sure you hate having them." He let go of her arm and turned around to his dresser. "I'll just throw on a pair of sweats and shirt and be right over to your room."

  He missed the slight disappointment that crossed over her features at the last comment.

  When he walked into her room, Ava lay in bed with the covers half over her and his spot devoid of any. He gently shut the door, turned out the light and climbed into bed. Ava patted the spot next to her. He moved closer to her. She tossed the blankets over him and snuggled into his body without waiting for an invitation. Her body fit perfectly into his as if she were meant for him.

  "I'm hoping if we skip right to you holding me, instead of waiting for them to come, that I won't even have any nightmares," Ava said as her head pressed softly to his chest. She whispered so low he almost didn’t hear her. "I really do hate them. I see his bloodied body every time. I can't stand it, Zane."

  He squeezed her reassuringly, lightly kissing the top of her head. "I hope so, too. I don't want you to have them. I'll do anything in my power to help." He took a deep breath and slowly released it. "Are you sure you want me under the covers? It seems…seems a little more intimate."

  Ava trembled. "It may seem more intimate, but I don't want you to get cold. Doesn't seem right for you to comfort me, but sleep in discomfort."

  Zane smiled. "I don't think I could ever be uncomfortable as long as you're in my arms. Thanks for the blankets. It's warmer under here."

  ***

  They kept talking around the subject of intimacy and yet neither of them made a move to the actual act. They lay in the dark for a while. Ava enjoyed the arousing feeling he invoked as he lightly stroked her back.

  She thought they finished talking when Zane whispered, "Tell me about Jimmy and how you celebrated him making detective. I was an ass when he called to tell me. Well, you know that, since that's the first time I heard your beautiful voice when you yelled at me for it. I was hurt he left, not wanting to stay on the farm. I felt guilty for making him feel guilty. I just missed him. I was proud of him, though. I'd like to know what he did to celebrate."

  Ava lifted her head and saw the pain in his face. Perhaps this was the only way they could heal. She brought her hand up to his cheek and lightly caressed it. "It's easier for you to talk about it like this than any other way, isn't it?"

  Zane nodded.

  She smiled and rested her head back onto his chest. "Well, when he got the news I was at a crime scene. I was one of the last to know, so I wasn't too happy about that. In his defense, he did try calling, but I had my phone in my kit, not my pocket. When I got back to the precinct, he was there with the other violent crimes/homicide detectives. They happen to be some of my other good friends. His, too, since he met them all because of me. They were all having a good time initiating him into the Big Boys Club as they liked to call it."

  "Violent crimes…homicide? Did he have a choice where to go—what unit or whatever you call it?" Zane asked tentatively, like he should already know all of this about his brother.

  "No, you are assigned to a specific unit, but you can request certain ones. He already knew most of those guys because hanging out with me—that's who I hung out with. My best friend Ashley, who happens to be an assistant district attorney, is married to Markus Cylan, who is a homicide detective. He was good friends with Ashley and Markus, too. He requested it and luckily got what he wanted. They joked with him it was because I put a word in with my dad. He's the Police Commissioner."

  Zane sighed. "Yeah, I know. I wasn't too nice to him."

  Ava laughed. "Really? I'm shocked."

  "Are you teasing me?" he asked, his hands moving to tickle her under her arm.

  "No. Don't you dare tickle me. War will be raged," Ava threatened with a grin.

  Zane laughed, but stopped, moving his hands to their original spot on her back. "So, they teased him. Then what did you do?"

  Ava relaxed in his arms, feeling confident he wouldn't tickle her. "Mahone, who can be the biggest jerk on earth, but a great detective, said drinks were on him at O'Hares. That was…is our spot to hang out anytime we have something to celebrate, or just have a drink or two after a crappy day." Ava started laughing. "Of course, Mahone, being the jerk I mentioned, reworded his first offer of drinks saying he only meant Jimmy and not everyone."

  "So, that's what you did. Went to the regular hang out and had a good time?" Zane asked, laughing with her.

  "Yeah. Jimmy had fun. They did a good job accepting him as one of them. He was already a friend, but being detective made him an equal. It made him feel good. He was a good detective—real intuitive on things."

  "I'm glad he had a good party. I'm glad you made sure of it."

  Ava didn't speak for a minute, contemplating the right words. "It wasn't easy at first. He was a little down. That was the same night he called you to tell you he made detective and I inserted my big mouth into it. He couldn't wait to tell you."

  Zane sucked in a breath. "I will always be forever sorry for that. What can I say other than I'm a jerk?"

  "Yeah, you are. You can be quite thoughtful at times, though. Jimmy knew that. I'm not telling you to make you feel bad. I'm telling you because it's the truth. You asked and I won't keep the truth from you. Maybe we both need to hear it to move on." Ava paused, noticing for the first time she was drawing tiny figures on his chest. "I've felt better in the last day than I have since I got here. I like talking to you about this. Don't get me wrong. It's hard and painful, but it makes me feel better somehow."

  Zane grabbed her hand that was doodling on his chest and brought it to his mouth, lightly kissing it. "It makes me feel better, too. I learn things I didn't know about him that I should've known. I hate the painful parts as well, but I'm glad you're being truthful. I need to hear it all."

  Ava relished in the fact he still held her hand. They didn't need to say anything more that night and fell into a peaceful sleep. For the first time since she arrived, not one nightmare plagued her. Zane's comforting presence calmed her into a deep sleep until he woke her up saying it was time for chores.

  ***

  Mid-afternoon came quickly with the second morning in a row filled with pleasure. They saddled all three horses and walked along the property line fence making sure everything along their fields and cattle were doing okay. />
  Ava tried to get used to the horse, although it was quite gentle. Nobody could call her an expert.

  Zane must've seen her discomfort. "You okay, Ava?"

  "Yeah, I just don't do this very often. Am I doing it right? I'm not hurting her or anything moving around so much in the saddle, am I?"

  Austin gently laughed. "You're doing fine. They can sense your moods, though, so just relax. We would let you know how to correct something if you're doing it wrong. Trust us."

  "Okay. Relax. I can do that." She looked around the pasture, watching the cows munch away at the grass. Half of them were lying down, making her grin. "It's beautiful out here. Is it true that it's going to rain when cows lie down like that? Half of them are right now, so do we have like fifty percent chance of rain coming or something?"

  Zane laughed. "No, Ava. That's an old wives' tale. The sky is as blue as can be right now. They lay down for anything really. No rain today."

  Ava grinned at him. "Are you sure? Because if it's suddenly going to down pour, we should turn around."

  "What, and miss a chance to ride in the rain? Never! That can be fun. We did it a few times as kids, although, Dad always said never while it's lightning," Austin said, shaking his head. "Takes all the fun away without the risk."

  "Risk of getting struck by lightning? Oh yeah, I can see why your dad would be so lame to not let you do it then."

  Austin laughed. "Yeah, it was lame of him." He grinned at Ava and continued, "You know, we used to go riding in the fields—us boys. We would play cowboys and Indians. Guess what Jimmy always played?"

  "Ooh, that's a hard one," Ava said with a smirk. "Let me guess, a cowboy."

  "Yeah, you're right," Austin said as he looked at Zane, who still trailed with them, but content to stay out of the new conversation. "We would play cops and robbers back at the house. Wanna guess what Jimmy would play there?"

  Ava laughed. "These are not hard questions, Austin. A cop, of course."

  "Wow, you're good," Austin said with a grin.

  Zane suddenly veered to the right. "Fence over there looks like it needs a little tending to." He made his way over there, not waiting for a response.