A Life Apart

by Harriet Knowles

  “As well as Mr. Collins’ missive, did the redirected mail not include a letter for you?” he asked, and she nodded.

  “It did — from Jane. But she did not say anything about Mr. Collins calling upon them.” She looked down. “If he has, I would expect her to tell me, she has little news to put in her letters. They are, at least, able to go out and about in town now, although I think some of our old friends still shun them.”

  He did not like it that she looked so sad.

  “When we retire for the night and have more privacy, I will tell you my plan so that you might be reassured. Then you will enjoy our visit to Killiecrankie tomorrow. We will stay here another night and begin our journey to London on Thursday morning.”

  Her eyes lit up and her lips curved. “I thought we would have to miss Killiecrankie.”

  At last he had hit upon a way to help her to forget the happenings in the south and they talked of the visit for a few moments, before she became thoughtful again.

  “I am thinking, William, that Mr. Collins seems to have a distinct disregard of anyone’s confidence entrusted to him. He was quite open in talking of Lady Catherine’s visit and her displeasure. I would think he would want to persuade you of the need to annul our marriage to please her, rather than attempt to use it to marry into your family.”

  “He’s certainly not concerned with keeping secrets.” Darcy nodded. “But I doubt she will have told him of her efforts to remove you. She will know of the great risk of him telling others about her actions.”

  “Oh, of course. I see that. Lady Catherine is at least more careful with her confidences than I had thought.” She smiled. “But perhaps she didn’t know of his connection with Longbourn. She could hardly have expected him to write to you. It was most ill-mannered.”

  Darcy nodded. He chose his words carefully before he spoke. “Your sister is an assiduous correspondent, is she not? Have you ever considered replying to her, now that so much time has passed?”

  Elizabeth looked a little wistful. “I vowed I would never forgive the family for what they did. But Jane has been as unfortunate as me, I suppose.” She shook herself out of her reverie and looked at him. There was a challenge in her eyes. “But I have no way at all of writing to her without my parents also knowing about it. And that I will not countenance.”

  It was time to retire, but he didn’t want to allow her to leave him for long.

  “Would you send your maid down to tell me as soon as you are prepared for the night? Then I will not have to remain downstairs for longer than necessary.” He still did not know how long she waited for him before he joined her.

  “Of course, I’d like to do that.” Elizabeth rose and curtsied to him, and he rose and watched her leave the parlour.

  He smiled slightly and turned to gather up all their letters and personal items. He would take them with him for safekeeping to their bedchamber.

  He laughed again, remembering the words of the pompous clergyman. But he had a letter of his own to write and sat down at the writing desk.

  Pitlochry, Scotland

  My dearest Georgiana,

  Elizabeth and I have had a most enjoyable time in the country and tomorrow we are going to visit Killiecrankie, a hamlet four miles north of here. Elizabeth is most amused at the name, and I am looking forward to the magnificent autumn colours in the forest there.

  There has been a change of plan and on Thursday we will begin our journey south and come directly to Darcy House. I believe it will take a week for it is nigh on five hundred miles and I would not wish to tire Elizabeth unduly.

  But I know you are eager to become acquainted with her and she also wishes to meet you. I am sorry I have delayed your meeting by this tour in Scotland, but I do believe it was the right thing to do, following the unwelcome visit of Lady Catherine before we left Pemberley, which I have told you about.

  Would you invite Cousin Richard to be at Darcy House when we arrive and to stay with us for a few days? I need to discuss a business matter with him. Thank you, dear Georgiana.

  I look forward to seeing you next week. It has been too long.

  Yours affectionately,

  Fitzwilliam

  He stretched and folded the letter. Once he had sealed it, he wrote the direction and went to find his servant.

  Chapter 51

  Elizabeth leaned against him in the rattling coach. It was the third day of travelling and she was already missing the hours out in the fresh air.

  But they were about to arrive at Pemberley for one of their night stops on the way to London. She thought William could hardly be happier than she was that they were going home, even if it was just for one night.

  But his warm presence was comforting and she looked up. “William?”

  He looked down at her. “Yes, Elizabeth?”

  “I don’t suppose you’d like it if I ask for an extra night at Pemberley? Do you think it will be very detrimental to the situation in Hertfordshire?”

  His eyes softened. “I think we can do that, if you would wish it.” He leaned over and looked out of the window. “We have nearly an hour before we arrive.” He glanced back at her. “Let’s decide what is best.”

  He sat back and took her hand. “So. Before we left Pitlochry, we devised a letter that you could write to your aunt.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “I am so grateful that you helped me with it. It has been so long that I wasn’t able to think of how to begin.”

  William squeezed her hand. “Sometimes it is easier for one who is outside the emotion.”

  “I see that,” she said thoughtfully. “It was a wonderful way to explain that I would like to see Jane, but am not able to write to her without my parents knowing.” She knew her heart was speeding up at the thought that the letter would have arrived by now and her aunt would have read it — the first time she had contacted anyone from the life she had once determined to leave behind forever.

  “That’s right.” William tucked an errant curl behind her ear. “So we’ve asked her to invite Jane to stay with her in London. We know she will be safe there, if Mr. Collins decides to go to Longbourn, and when we get to London, you can invite her to Darcy House.”

  Elizabeth smiled up at him, still new to the sensation of being so close to him. “I hope she will go. But I am also concerned Mr. Collins might make advances to one of my other sisters.”

  His lips twitched. “Dearest Elizabeth, I have heard quite enough of the behaviour of your other sisters to be absolutely convinced that Lady Catherine would most certainly disapprove of them. I would hope that even Collins is not foolish enough to make any of them an offer, no matter how anxious he is to join my family. He must, in any case, have heard of the breach in your relationship with your family, and will therefore, I hope, be under no illusions that he would be welcomed by us.”

  “Oh, I am not persuaded on that matter,” Elizabeth said. “He seems most pompous and conceited. I am sure he thinks that only he can ensure a reconciliation.”

  He laughed. “Well, as long as we have been successful in securing Miss Bennet’s stay in London, then I think we are safe for the present moment.” He glanced out of the window. “And now we are here. We can enjoy Pemberley for a short while before journeying on.”

  “I am exceedingly glad to be here.” Elizabeth stretched. “I hope we have time to walk. I have missed it much these last three days.”

  The coach drew up below the great steps to the main door and her husband descended before turning to extend his hand to her.

  It was wonderful to have the room and space to freshen herself that night before waiting for William to join her. She smiled at the bowl as she splashed her face.

  She was settling now to the realisation that she was fully Mrs. Darcy, and reminded herself how very fortunate she was that he was such a thoughtful and loving husband to her.

  She could see the great bed behind her reflected in her mirror and her heart pounded. Sharing a bed with another had been one of the bigge
st changes she had had to learn, but she knew that, in future, she would miss him acutely on any occasion when he had to be away from her.

  She hoped it would not be often and she tried to stop herself smiling too much. She must not make cause for gossip for Emilie. Soon she would be able to dismiss her maid and wait for her husband to join her.

  Ten minutes later, she was sitting on the edge of her bed, rubbing her feet, when his door opened and he saw her.

  His eyebrows rose. “Are you well, Elizabeth?”

  “Oh, yes,” she laughed. “I am just very glad to have the chance of a day free of travel tomorrow. It will be delightful to have two nights together in the same bed.”

  He chuckled and picked her up, dropping a light kiss on the tip of her nose. “Let me assist you.” He placed her down on top of the covers, then sat and took her feet on his lap. “Such dainty feet,” he mused. “I can hardly believe that these feet could have carried you so surely up such moors and peaks.”

  Elizabeth lay back against the pillows. William was so very different now than she had ever imagined he might be, back in those dark times where she had wanted nothing more than to separate herself from him forever.

  He looked at her face, his gaze holding hers, smouldering passion in every feature and she gasped as his fingers began to trace their way along her feet and past her ankles, pushing under the light fabric of her night shift.

  His smile, slow and sensuous and — almost possessive — sent her feelings reeling and she closed her eyes to give herself up to his touch. Then he was lying beside her, his hand tangled in her hair as he drew her face to his.

  “I love you, Elizabeth. I love you so very much.” His murmur heightened her passion and she pressed herself closer against him.

  Chapter 52

  The empty countryside outside the coach windows was beginning to give way to the built-up houses of outer London. Dusk was also falling, beginning to shroud the houses and Darcy felt weary. Elizabeth must also be very tired, he knew.

  She had persuaded him to stay a third night at Pemberley and he had barely demurred. They had spent part of every day in her beloved hothouse and walked down to their secret cove.

  “After all,” she had said to him. “We know we can get to London in two long days, so let us do that and enjoy Pemberley properly.”

  He had lifted her face towards his. “You are sure you will not be too tired?” he had asked. “After all, you will be meeting your sister and maybe your aunt. It might be better if you were rested before that and not under undue strain.”

  Her lips parted beneath his hand and he couldn’t resist tracing their outline with his finger.

  “Please, William.”

  She must know he could deny her nothing. He had given in to her, as he always knew he would.

  Now they were nearing the end of two days of long travel and he drew her towards him. “Are you very tired, Elizabeth?”

  She shook her head, and leaned against him. “Not too much, but I will be glad to arrive.”

  He could feel her heart beating against his body and frowned. “You are anxious. Please be assured I am beside you always.”

  “I know that, William. I will be well when I have met your sister, and your cousin. I know it is important that they like me.”

  “Georgiana will love you dearly, I know.” Darcy attempted to reassure her. “And Richard is an amiable and kind gentleman. They are both as anxious as you that you will like them and as soon as it is settled, I am sure you will be much relieved.”

  “Thank you, I know I’m being foolish to be so concerned.”

  “Not at all, it has been a difficult time, and my actions at first have not made your present task any easier.” He kissed the top of her head which was all he could see. “I’m sorry and I hope all will soon be resolved.”

  Her head bobbed as she nodded. After a few moments, she looked up at him.

  “William — what will you be doing to ensure your uncle does not try to part us again?”

  He drew a deep breath. He hadn’t known the issue still troubled her so.

  “Please do not allow yourself to be vexed on the issue, Elizabeth. I will be with you all the time until you are happy in the company of Georgiana and Cousin Richard. Then I will charge them with protecting you while I call on my uncle.” He paused to think. “How might I best reassure you most of your security from my family?”

  She looked up at him, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, I am just being foolish. Please do not worry and I will be myself again soon.”

  He took her hands. “I will never think you are being foolish, but don’t be anxious and I will think of something.”

  He glanced out of the window. The coach was about to turn into Brook Street; there were only a few moments to go.

  “Are you well, Elizabeth? We are nearly there. If you wish, I can give the instruction that we go on for another ten minutes or so and give you time to compose yourself.”

  She smiled gently. “Thank you for being so thoughtful, William. But I am quite collected and ready.” She drew a deep breath.

  “Very well.” He straightened up. He would do his very best to make things as easy as possible for her. He was surprised at the strength of his feeling. He had rarely felt so protective of anyone. Only that dreadful time at Ramsgate with Georgiana had come close, but even that had a different quality somehow, to the way he felt now.

  The coach slowed and he saw the brightly lit windows of Darcy House, standing proudly behind the ironwork gates. The coach turned in and stopped at the exact centre of the half-circular drive, beside the steps to the great front door.

  The coach body rocked as the coachman leapt down and came to the door.

  Darcy climbed down, seeing Mr. Leigh standing ready to greet them. Elizabeth would miss Mr. Reed, Darcy thought inconsequentially. She’d been used to the Pemberley steward watching for her when she was out in the estate grounds, but they had left him to his duties there. Mr. Leigh was an excellent London steward, but the gardens here, while extensive, were nothing compared to Pemberley.

  He looked at him. “Good evening, Mr. Leigh. Everything all right?”

  The steward bowed. “Yes, sir. Welcome back to Darcy House.” Darcy nodded at him and turned back to the coach, offering his hand to Elizabeth.

  She climbed down, and he felt enormously proud of her outward composure, knowing what it was costing her.

  “Elizabeth, might I introduce Mr. Leigh? He is my steward here at Darcy House, as is Mr. Reed at Pemberley.”

  She inclined her head slightly. “Good evening, Mr. Leigh.”

  The steward bowed. “Welcome to Darcy House, Mrs. Darcy.”

  Darcy nodded at him and led Elizabeth up the steps as the great front door swung open for them. He could feel her trembling slightly as they entered the hall.

  Georgiana was standing beside Richard. She looked almost as anxious as Elizabeth must be, and Darcy heartily wished the next half-hour to be over. Still, he must attempt to make it easy for both of them.

  Elizabeth’s hand was on his arm and he squeezed it comfortingly, and smiled at Georgiana as they approached.

  “Elizabeth, might I introduce my sister, Georgiana?”

  He looked at Georgiana. “Georgiana, this is my wife, Elizabeth.” He heard the pride in his voice; it had been quite unconscious, but he was not ashamed of it.

  The ladies curtsied deeply. “Good evening, Miss Darcy. I’m so pleased to meet you at last.” Elizabeth’s voice was steady and calm. He was so proud of her.

  “I have been longing to meet you, Mrs. Darcy.” Georgiana couldn’t manage to sound so calm and there was the slightest quiver in her voice. She looked unhappily at him.

  He smiled reassuringly at her and drew Elizabeth’s attention away slightly. “May I introduce my cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam?”

  Richard bowed. “I am delighted to meet you, Mrs. Darcy. I hope your journey wasn’t too taxing.”

  Elizabeth smile
d at him. “I will confess I am very happy to be here this evening and to know that we are not travelling tomorrow.”

  Richard laughed heartily, and Elizabeth looked up at Darcy and slipped her hand from his arm. The slightest of pressure on his side as her hand slipped out told him to stay talking to Richard, and he watched out of the corner of his eye as she walked over to Georgiana and slipped her arm into hers. She whispered something and Georgiana looked relieved. The two of them moved away towards the drawing room.

  Richard gazed after them. “She is delightful, Darcy. I’m so glad you have resolved the issues that worried you so much.” He touched Darcy’s arm.

  “I think you had much better leave them to become acquainted. We should go to your library, perhaps. You can instruct that we are called if you’re needed.”

  Darcy nodded, reluctantly. “One moment.” He nodded at Mr. Leigh and beckoned the butler.

  “No one is to be admitted to this house unless I am here. Do not allow them in to wait for me. They must remain outside until I am present.” He bent a stern eye on them. “No one. Not even family, you understand?”

  In the library, Richard glanced at him. “I will take your duty, Darcy, and pour you a drink. What was that about?”

  Darcy dropped into the chair by the fire. It was very good to be back with his cousin. He accepted his drink gratefully and took a mouthful.

  He looked up at Richard, who was standing at the mantel.

  “I think Elizabeth still fears your father appearing with a committal notice.”

  Chapter 53

  In the drawing room, Elizabeth sat with Georgiana. She looked around the room, it was the only one she really remembered from her brief stay here on her wedding night.

  But now she knew it was her home, and the room looked completely different. She was mistress of Darcy House in the same way as she was of Pemberley. But she must be careful. She could not arrive and immediately displace Georgiana, for she would have been acting as the mistress of the house until now.