A Life Apart

by Harriet Knowles

  “Of course.” Miss Bennet looked relieved, and she turned to Georgiana. “Will you give us the benefit of your opinion, too?”

  Georgiana looked startled. “Of course, if you wish me to.”

  Darcy stood with Bingley as they watched the three ladies climb the stairs. “Come on, Bingley.” Darcy clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Let’s have a whisky. You look as if you could do with one.”

  He led his friend to his library, so much more conducive to masculine taste. He stopped as they went through the hall and instructed that they be called as soon as the ladies returned downstairs.

  As soon as the door was shut, he turned to the decanter and poured the drinks. “Sit down, man, and tell me what you have to.”

  Bingley didn’t sit down but came to stand beside Darcy. “I expect you can guess what the news is.”

  “I think I can, but the news is yours to give.” Darcy wrung his friend’s hand.

  Bingley crossed to the fire and turned. “I had determined to ask her this morning,” he said. “I have been made most welcome at Gracechurch Street these past days and Miss Bennet is the most beautiful lady I have ever had the good fortune to behold! Do you not agree, Darcy?”

  Darcy smiled. “I am sure you do not want to hear the answer, Bingley. I must respectfully disagree, for my Elizabeth is the most lovely to me.”

  Bingley waved away his answer. “Of course you must say that, Darcy!” His face spread into a delighted, but bemused smile. “She has accepted me, Darcy, she has accepted! I can barely believe my good fortune.”

  Darcy smiled. “You have my most sincere congratulations, Bingley.” He shook his hand. “So we will soon be brothers-in-law.”

  Bingley’s eyes widened. “I had not thought of that, Darcy. But I am delighted for it, as well.” He frowned and stared into his glass.

  “I am going to reopen Netherfield. I must go and see Mr. Bennet without delay and Jane wishes to return to Longbourn. She says that she needs to speak to her mother. And, of course, there will be many arrangements to be made before the marriage.”

  He looked over at Darcy, wretchedly. “I want everything to be just as Jane wishes. But I know she wants Elizabeth to stand up with her at the wedding, and there is this estrangement with her parents. Do you think things may be resolved soon?”

  Darcy took a reflective sip of his drink. He doubted that Elizabeth would consider meeting her mother as an urgent concern, although if he was correct in his suspicions, it might change her perception.

  “I do not know, Bingley. But they may be discussing the issue at this very moment, so we will have to see.”

  Bingley sighed deeply. “And then there is Caroline. She is being most unpleasant at the moment, but of course I need her at Netherfield, at least until the wedding.” He swirled the whisky around the bottom of the glass. “I am hoping she will choose to live in London with Louisa after Jane and I are wed, I don’t like to think that Caroline will be a cause of difficulty for her.”

  Darcy nodded. “Elizabeth has spoken to me of her concern in that regard already. I can only think that you may need to speak to Caroline quite bluntly. Elizabeth was most concerned because she tells me that Miss Bennet is a gentle, kindly soul, who cannot think ill of anyone.”

  Bingley nodded. “So Elizabeth was hoping for our union?”

  Darcy laughed. “She and I had been planning that you would meet. When you appeared for dinner that night, it merely speeded our plan.”

  Bingley stared at him. “You knew we were right for each other?”

  “Of course we did!” Darcy saw the library door opening and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Now finish your drink, I think the ladies require our presence. Elizabeth and Georgiana will wish to congratulate you.”

  Chapter 65

  The weather was unseasonably warm the next morning and Elizabeth dressed with care as William had requested. She wondered what he was planning — there had been a glint in his eyes that told her he had something in mind.

  She wondered if he had his suspicions — his love-making the previous night had been tender and gentle and tears had filled her eyes, which he’d kissed away with loving concern.

  She descended the stairs and turned into the breakfast room, seeing the others rise when they saw her.

  “Elizabeth.” William bowed and came and took her hand. He held her chair for her and she muttered under her breath.

  “Don’t be too obvious, William!”

  He released the chair as if it was scalding hot and looked exceedingly guilty, hurrying back to his own chair.

  Elizabeth sat down and nodded at the footman for tea, trying to keep her smile serene and unruffled. She must not allow Georgiana or Richard to suspect anything, even if William had guessed.

  “So, what is happening today, William? I have been curious since you told me we were taking the carriage.”

  She could see William was trying to regain his composure so she turned to his cousin. “Are you joining the party today, Richard?”

  He shook his head. “I do not think so. I believe I am taking Georgiana to Matlock House today.” He looked at Georgiana, who nodded.

  “I think so, Richard.”

  “Indeed. It is just us, Elizabeth.” William was calm again. “I believe you will enjoy where we are going, but I am equally sure your enjoyment would not be shared by the others in our group.”

  She was puzzled. “Is it something that you will not share in the enjoyment?”

  “Oh, no! I have been there before — but not since certain changes have been implemented. So I will have something new to observe.”

  Elizabeth could barely wait until he had assisted her up into the carriage and followed her in. He reached for the blanket to spread it over her knees.

  “It’s very warm,” she objected.

  He smiled. “It only appears warm, because it has been so cold this past week.”

  She sighed and allowed him to place the blanket to his satisfaction. “I take it you have divined my suspicions.”

  His lips twitched at her resigned voice. “Is it only a suspicion? Are you not certain?”

  “No, of course not! It is much too soon to be sure. And I am disappointed, because I had not wanted you to have any idea at all, or you will worry for far more months than is needed.”

  He tucked the last corner of blanket in. “I will endeavour to be suitably surprised and pleased whenever you wish to tell me, Elizabeth.” A small line appeared between his eyebrows. “But I am concerned with your weariness. Is that usual?”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m afraid I don’t know, William. It is the first time for me, too. But I remember some ladies in the town saying that it was different for everyone. So I think we must wait and see.”

  “Would you — would you be willing to see my family physician, just to check whether you are well?” He sounded as if he already knew she would refuse.

  “Dear William. If you already know what I am going to say, then you should not ask, because I do not like to refuse you. But I should be embarrassed if I see him now; he would think I cannot keep these things from you and that I suffer overmuch with my imagination.” She reached out to him. “Please don’t embarrass me.”

  The carriage jerked as it went round a sharp corner and William reached out for her. She laughed.

  “I am not made out of glass, dearest William. Let’s change the subject. Where are we going? Might I know?”

  “We’re going to Kew Palace. It is not too far and the Royal Family have been extending the gardens. There is an interesting Chinese pagoda and the Physick Garden is being expanded at the moment. But the main reason I am taking you is that they have built a number of temporary hothouses where they are raising exotic plants — on a larger scale than our special hothouse at Pemberley.” He smiled and his arm tightened around her.

  “There is talk of a large ironwork glasshouse, but it may be many years before it is completed, so we will take what pleasure we can in th
ose that are there now.”

  “Oh, William!” Elizabeth blinked furiously. She would not allow herself to be a sentimental woman who wept at such foolish things. “I had no thought there might be such places.” She peered out of the window. “Is it far?”

  “No, less than nine miles in all.” He bent forward and looked out of the window as well. “This is the Great West Road, and soon we will leave it and cross the river for Richmond.”

  He leaned back and pulled her towards him, and they sat in silent companionship as the coach rattled on.

  William assisted her down from the coach, and she looked round with interest.

  “Would you like some refreshment first, Elizabeth?” He indicated the coach. “We have a picnic. Or we may walk round and have the picnic later.”

  “Oh, let’s see the hothouses first, unless you are very hungry, William.” Elizabeth stared round at the expansive lawns and the borders, without much colour at this time of year.

  He nodded. “Of course.” He offered his arm and they began strolling along the raked gravel paths. “We can return in the summer to see these gardens at their best, of course. But the hothouses should always be worth seeing.” He looked puzzled as she laughed. “Do you not like the plan, Elizabeth?”

  “I have no doubt they will be very fine, but it is a very long way to come, if we will be spending the summer at Pemberley; and I’m sure your park there is quite the equal of this.”

  He smiled. “But we may not be able to go to Pemberley, Elizabeth, if your condition is …”

  She stopped and gave him a withering glare. “I know how much you love Pemberley, William, and if I am to be unable to take long journeys for a time, then we need to ensure I am at Pemberley before I am prevented.” She put her hand on his arm. “But I am sure we may continue our lives as we wish for a long time yet.”

  He hesitated. “If you say so, Elizabeth. But I will need to ensure the best physicians, and the best …”

  She was shaking her head, and he stopped talking.

  “That is better. Now, where are these hothouses, William, before we disagree about things that are still many months away. The only thing I wish to be assured of right now is that we will be together.”

  “Always together,” he assured her and pointed to the right. “They are behind that copse, there.”

  Chapter 66

  He could scarcely have chosen a better place to bring her, he thought; her exclamation of delight reached him as she entered the hothouse.

  The junior gardener showing them round was soon hard at work, answering her many questions, and Darcy listened to her with considerable pride. She had a great deal of knowledge and he was surprised again at the level of detail she wanted to know about.

  After nearly an hour, he intervened. “Would you like to rest here for a little while? There is a table and chairs and we can ask that some refreshment is brought from the coach.”

  Elizabeth looked round. “It will be very pleasant sitting in here in the warmth.” She smiled. “Much nicer than a picnic outside.”

  Darcy nodded dismissal to the gardener, and turned to his servant who’d been following discreetly. The man nodded and went to arrange for the picnic to be brought to them.

  Elizabeth turned slowly on the spot, staring up at the high vaulted roof. “I can see why you said you wished you had built the one at Pemberley taller,” she said conversationally. “The trees here are far more exuberant.”

  Darcy stepped closer to her. “I was thinking that perhaps, with the experience of the one we have, that we might build another, close to the house and both larger and higher.”

  She withdrew her gaze from the roof and down to him. “I think we would both enjoy that very much, but it seems extravagant, and we would need to be careful not to spoil the appearance of the house.” She smiled. “It is so perfect, so beautifully situated within the park.” She sighed. “But it would be nice for it to be only a few minutes’ walk from a new hothouse.”

  “Well, you have set us a good challenge for the year.” Darcy stepped away from her as several servants from the coach carried in a large hamper and set the small table with fresh linens and began setting out the food.

  When they were alone again, Darcy thought it time to raise the matter he wished to talk to her about. “Elizabeth, I wanted to talk to you about the remaining Bennet family who have still not had news of you.”

  Her eyes were guarded as she looked at him. “I thought you would wish to speak about it. I suppose it has come to the point, now that Mr. Bingley will be calling on Papa, and Jane is going home, too.”

  He nodded. “I know you trust your aunt and uncle, and your sister, not to betray your confidences. But I feel it might make things difficult for Miss Bennet if she cannot share how she met Bingley, and again, if your father asks him how he became acquainted with Miss Bennet, it might be quite difficult for him to prevaricate.”

  She sighed deeply and sipped her tea, her eyes unseeing. Then she put her cup down and turned to him. “You must think I am such a feeble person, to be fearful of my mother’s reactions after so long apart.”

  He shook his head. “I would never think that of you, Elizabeth. Never.” He reached out and captured her hand. “It’s just … well, do you want your sister to be unhappy that you will not attend her wedding? For your mother will surely be there.”

  Suddenly she looked resigned. She withdrew her hand from his and put her cup down from the other. She rubbed her eyes. “You’re correct, William. It is time to do something. But I think I’d like somehow to write to Papa first, without Mama knowing.” She looked at him. “Will you help me?”

  “Of course.” He smiled and shook his head. “You do not need to ask, you must know that.”

  “How do you think I can ensure Mama does not see that the letter is from me?” She sounded detached, as if she was trying to leave behind her feelings of any sort of previous affection for her parents.

  He took this indication from her and kept his own tones measured. “Perhaps if you would like to write, I might pen the direction on the outside myself. Then nobody would know the letter was in your hand. If it was also marked private, your father would think it was a business letter and not open it until he was in his library. Is that not the case?”

  “Oh, thank you! Yes I can see that would work well.” Her shoulders drooped again. “I wonder what I can say to him.”

  He smiled. “I am sure you will think of something. Now, I need to tell you that I must also write to your father.” He shook his head, not wanting to say what he knew he must. “I — wronged him when I replied to one of his letters after our marriage and I want to make my most sincere apologies.” He met her eyes. “Do you wish me to write before you do, or afterwards?”

  She looked at him, her eyes soft and loving. “My aunt said something about you gave them no news of me but reminded him that I was now your responsibility.” Her laugh was nervous. “You were so justified in your anger, I could quite imagine you writing it!” Her hand was warm as she slipped it into his. “Would you feel better if it was your letter that he received first?”

  Darcy nodded. “It might be best, then I can inform him that he will receive another from you, but the direction will be in my hand, and he will know to read it in private.” He wondered whether to warn her that her father might appear at Darcy House within a few hours of reading it, and decided to wait until nearer the time. She must not be too anxious. He made himself smile.

  “And now, let us continue through the other hothouse and then it will be time to return home. I would not have you miss your afternoon rest!”

  Chapter 67

  Elizabeth was very glad to put her feet up as she lay on the bed. It had been a wonderful day and she smiled foolishly toward the ceiling.

  She could never have imagined what manner of man her husband was from those first, unfortunate beginnings. He would be a wonderful father, she thought sleepily.

  She woke wondering what had d
isturbed her, realising that William was sitting at the small table by the window seat. He was concentrating seriously on his words as he wrote.

  She stretched, murmuring his name, and he looked up, his features softening into a smile.

  “Elizabeth.” Putting down his pen, he crossed the room and kissed her. “Are you well?”

  “Wonderful. I had a lovely morning, thank you so much for taking me to Kew.” She glanced at the table. “Are you writing to my father?”

  He nodded. “I thought I would come here and keep you company when you awoke. Then I could consult with you on how I finish the letter.”

  Elizabeth reached for him. “There’s plenty of time …”

  He chuckled. “Well, perhaps not. I would prefer your letter to have reached him before your sister is asked some pertinent questions. And mine should reach him perhaps the day before yours.”

  “Yes, of course.” Elizabeth moved to sit up against the pillows. “What are you proposing?”

  He smiled. “Really, it is whether it is your wish that I inform him that a letter from you will be following shortly, but that the direction will be written in my hand, so that he may decide when and how he chooses to inform Mrs. Bennet of the communication.”

  Elizabeth pleated the edge of the linen sheet between her fingers. “She will have to be told, but I dread her response.”

  William tipped her face towards his. “I have made it clear in the first part of my letter that a meeting will need to be arranged in advance to the satisfaction of all parties. I will not permit her to just appear, Elizabeth, before you are prepared.”

  She shivered and he drew her close. “I will always be beside you, Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth sighed. “I know, and I am grateful for it. But I cannot forgive her for what she did to you.”

  He held her close against him and she could hear his steady heartbeat as she rested her head on him.

  “You can be generous towards her, Elizabeth. We have all we want.” He kissed the top of her head. “I have heard it said that the best revenge is happiness. I am not resentful and I hope that you might forgive her and be able to put the whole incident behind you.”