A Life Apart

by Harriet Knowles

  “Mr. Bennet,” announced the butler, and her father entered the room.

  He was nervous, Elizabeth thought, seeing how tightly his fist was clenched. She took a deep breath, she was anxious, too. But at least she was in her own home. And William was with her.

  She stepped forward. “Papa. Thank you for calling here.”

  Her father looked at her as if he’d thought he would never see her again. He stepped forward, hesitantly. “Lizzy.” His shoulders relaxed. “You look so well. I am delighted to have the chance to see you.”

  “I’m sorry, Papa.” Elizabeth crossed the room and took his hands. “Come and sit down and we can say what we need to.”

  William bowed to him. “Good morning, Mr. Bennet. I will go to my library to give you time to catch up on your news.” He turned to Elizabeth. “Send for me when you need me.” His gaze was warm and loving, and she dipped her head.

  “Thank you, William.”

  Elizabeth turned back to her father. “Permit me to send for tea.” She looked over at the footman and he bowed and left the room.

  She was able to look properly at her father. The lines were deeper on his face and he looked much older. “You look as if my actions have caused you much grief, Papa. I am so very sorry.”

  He patted her arm. “It was very hard, not knowing what had become of you, Lizzy. But it is all forgiven and forgotten, now that I can see that you’re well, and happy.”

  Tears filled her eyes. He could not know how happy she was. “Thank you, Papa, for being so generous in your forgiveness.” She smiled slightly. “William has been so very good to me, encouraging me and telling me that all would be well.”

  “Has he?” Her father sounded doubtful. “I was extremely troubled when I received your letter telling me that you had asked for an annulment and would be leaving Pemberley and Darcy House. It was months after we had waited to hear from you.” He took a deep breath. “Had you been unhappy all that time? Was Mr. Darcy difficult?”

  Elizabeth bent her head. “I wish I had never written that letter.” She made herself continue. “He was not there for most of it, Papa. I was at Pemberley and he returned to London. But I was not happy that I should have the use of such a large part of his estate when I felt that I was an imposter.” She smiled slightly.

  “But it is now all resolved, and we are very happy together.” She looked at him a little anxiously.

  “I hope you like him, he has been most concerned that I reconcile with the family, even though for himself, he might consider it would be better if I did not. But he thinks I would be unhappy later if I do not.”

  Papa rubbed his face. “I am pleased to hear what you say, Lizzy. I have been bitterly regretting my insistence that you marry him, wondering what manner of pain and torment you must be enduring, all at my instigation.”

  Elizabeth poured the tea and gave him his cup. “I am so grateful that you have said it is all forgiven and forgotten, Papa. Now, my wish is that you can forgive yourself and be content that I am happy.”

  He smiled at that. “If you can assure me that you will write to me regularly, I will be content.”

  Elizabeth settled into the chair and sipped her tea. “I will willingly assure you of that, Papa. Now, tell me how Mama has received the news of Jane’s engagement. And I want to hear about my sisters, and everything that is happening in Hertfordshire.”

  Chapter 71

  There was a knock on the door. Darcy looked up. The footman entered quietly. “Mr. Bennet wonders if he might speak to you before you rejoin Mrs. Darcy, sir?”

  Darcy nodded. “Send him in.” He rose and went to the mantel. Staring into the flames, he remembered the last time Bennet had spoken to him here, demanding that he renew his offer to Elizabeth. It had seemed the darkest day of his life.

  “Mr. Bennet,” the footman announced and Darcy turned with an effort. He must be careful not to harm Elizabeth’s relationship with her family. He bowed.

  “Sit down, Mr. Bennet, and allow me to get you a drink rather more palatable than tea.”

  The older man smiled slightly. “Thank you, Mr. Darcy.” He moved across to the chair. He seemed very much older than he had before, and Darcy felt a pang of sympathy for the man he’d not previously felt any warmth towards.

  He handed the glass to Bennet and leaned against the mantel, his foot up on the fender. “Thank you for calling, and for relieving Elizabeth’s mind in the note you left yesterday. She had been very anxious about the first meeting with you.” He attempted to keep his voice calm.

  Bennet nodded acknowledgement of his words. He stared into his glass. “I understand I have you to thank for this reconciliation, Mr. Darcy. I am most grateful.”

  Darcy turned to his own chair and sat back into it. “I think in our own way, we have both caused Elizabeth much unhappiness. For my part, I am deeply sorry, and I am sensible of my good fortune in that she is so generous with her forgiveness.” He swirled his drink around the glass and took a sip.

  “I am now making every effort to surround her with comfort and all my affection.”

  Bennet nodded. “She has been insistent that you have been very good to her.” He looked at Darcy. “Thank you. Lizzy is very dear to me, and I made a terrible mistake. I’m happy to see that what harm it has caused her is now at an end and that she is happy.”

  Darcy smiled thinly. He must remember that the obligation this man had placed on him had given him Elizabeth. He would never have considered her under normal circumstances, never.

  “So, let us talk of the future.” He looked over at Bennet. “I will need to be frank with you, and I do not wish this frankness to trouble Elizabeth.”

  “I understand.” The man looked even older and more weary than he had.

  “Good.” Darcy nodded. “I know that ladies need to be close to their mothers, and therefore I wish Elizabeth to be reconciled to Mrs. Bennet. But Elizabeth is uneasy on the topic. She thinks her mother might take advantage of the reunion to trouble her more than she wishes.” He held the other man’s eye. “I have not, and do not intend to, tell her of the frequency and content of the letters that Mrs. Bennet has been sending me.”

  Bennet frowned. “It is most improper, I know. But perhaps the reconciliation will lead to a diminution of the letters. Not answering them has been the wisest course, sir.” He smiled wryly. “But I imagine that with Jane married well and settled close by at Netherfield, Mrs. Bennet will have much else to occupy her time in the future.”

  “Indeed.” Darcy felt fleetingly sorry for Bingley. But the man was amiable and might not feel the way that Darcy would have. But he still had other topics to raise.

  “I have been of the opinion that the best place for Elizabeth to first see her mother might be at the wedding breakfast, because there will be others around and Mrs. Bennet will be distracted. I know Elizabeth is anxious as to the response she will receive from her mother.”

  Bennet thought for a while. “It is a good plan. I think that Mrs. Bennet will need to have her say. Then it is all likely to be forgotten. Lizzy may have to listen to the tirade and shrug it off. She knows her mother very well, and I would expect it will not cause her much distress.”

  Darcy grimaced. He did not share Bennet’s thoughts on the matter. “She has had much time for misgivings to build up within her. I would hope that any indiscretion not lead to a further loss of association.” It would not hurt Bennet to know he must take definite steps to prevent his wife spoiling Elizabeth’s day.

  It was Bennet’s turn to frown. “I understand your meaning, sir, and I will do all in my power to prevent such a lapse on Mrs. Bennet’s part.”

  Darcy had to be content with that, and nodded. “Perhaps we should rejoin my wife.”

  Chapter 72

  It was only two days now until Jane’s wedding day. Elizabeth hummed to herself as she looked at the gown that had been made for her to wear.

  Jane had stayed with her at Darcy House while her own gown was being made
and she and Elizabeth had rediscovered their close bond again.

  “Oh, Lizzy!” Jane had been beside herself. “How fortunate I am that you will be there to stand up with me! I had lost all hope that it might ever happen. And if you had not called me to London, I would never even have met Mr. Bingley! Oh, I am the happiest person alive!”

  But Jane was gone now; her trousseau obtained, she had returned Longbourn for the final preparations.

  There was a knock at the door to her suite and Elizabeth went through from her dressing room. “Georgiana! Do come in, I was just admiring my gown.”

  “I have been hoping to see it.” Georgiana followed her back through to see the gown, hanging in the closet. “May I?” She took it out carefully and laid it on the bed. “Oh, it is perfect.” She ran a finger delicately down the row of tiny pearls. “You will be the most beautiful lady present.”

  “Oh, no.” Elizabeth demurred. “Jane is much lovelier than I and I am determined that it will be her day.” She sat on her bed beside the gown. “I am so glad that Mr. Bingley also has wealth enough to ensure she could have a beautiful gown. If she could not, I was quite prepared to take battle with William that I would wear a simpler gown. I was determined not to outshine my sister on her day.”

  Georgiana laughed and sat on a chair nearby. “I do not think my brother would ever do battle with you, Elizabeth. He can refuse you nothing.”

  “Shh!” Elizabeth laughed. “I do not wish him to discover it!”

  They were journeying down after lunch the next day to stay at Netherfield, the whole party. Richard was going to be there as escort to Georgiana, for William was to be Mr. Bingley’s groomsman and Elizabeth was, of course, attending Jane.

  She was, she thought, being quite successful at hiding from everyone her increasing discomposure as the day drew near. She was utterly determined that nothing would mar Jane’s day and so she was making her plans without consulting William.

  She was a little anxious at deceiving him, but as she felt increasingly well, wanted to settle matters with her mother before the day of the wedding. She knew very well that she would have to listen to her mother’s tirade about her ungrateful, selfish daughter and how she, Mrs. Bennet, had known it would all turn out all right.

  She knew quite well that William would be protectively by her side the entire time of the wedding breakfast, determined that her mother not upset her. Equally, she knew her mother would not be able to control her behaviour or ensure Jane’s felicity, if she wanted to berate Elizabeth.

  No, it was better done the day before, and Elizabeth was determined that she be the only one to hear it. William would not permit it, Jane and Georgiana would be distressed, and her father would be resigned and return to his library.

  At least Mama already knew that Elizabeth was going to attend the wedding, and stand up with Jane. It was to be hoped that she was not being too open about her opinions to Jane, there at home without support.

  She was thoughtful as they drove down to Hertfordshire the next day. They would join Mr. Bingley and his sisters for dinner and Elizabeth hoped to get to Longbourn the following day. She spent the journey trying to think how it should best be done.

  She felt the press of William’s thigh against hers and looked round. His gaze was steady and concerned, but a slight glint told her he might yet have discovered her.

  She tilted her head up and turned to Georgiana. “I will be happy to arrive, I think. Have you been to Netherfield before?”

  Georgiana shook her head. “No. I think it is new to Richard as well.”

  “Indeed it is.” Richard was settled back in his seat, with his legs stretched out, the very picture of a relaxed and reassuring presence. Elizabeth smiled, he was very good for Georgiana — and for her, if she was honest. He had an easy demeanour which was conducive to prevent worry and vexation.

  She sat back and William bent his head to hers. “I will need to know what you are planning, Elizabeth.” His whisper startled her, but after a moment, she had to feel amused. She should not be surprised, she knew him so very well, and she would be foolish if she thought he might not know what she was about.

  She smiled up at him, raising her eyebrows and rolling her eyes, enjoying his warm chuckle. Then she sat back and tried to decide what to tell him that evening.

  Chapter 73

  William escorted Elizabeth upstairs when they retired for the night. She looked around her with a lively curiosity. This would be Jane’s home very soon, and she was delighted for her.

  They had been given the main guest apartments, a good size, and very suitable for married guests. She knew he would join her as soon as she had sent Emilie away. She sat in front of the glass as her maid assisted her to prepare for the night.

  She made a face at her reflection, she was very glad the evening was over. She wondered how soon after the wedding they could go to Pemberley. How much she ached for the peace of that great estate. She sat at the small table and Emilie poured her a glass of water from the carafe.

  “Thank you, Emilie.” Elizabeth dismissed her maid and waited for her husband.

  She didn’t have to wait long, and she turned to him as he came quietly through the door from his chamber and bent to kiss her.

  He noticed her glass. “Shall I send for tea?”

  “Thank you, no.” She reached for his hand and he drew her to her feet and led her closer to the fire.

  “Are you warm enough, Elizabeth?”

  “Mmm.” She nodded, resting her head against his warm, comforting presence.

  “I think you might need a second shawl. Let me see …” He looked round and saw one on the corner of the bed. “Here you are.”

  Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. “Emilie has only just removed the warming pans, so the bed is much warmer.”

  He gave her a long look. “I think we need to have a conversation first, Elizabeth.”

  She shivered with excitement. “We could talk when we are warm in bed.”

  His eyes danced. “I would agree with you, Elizabeth, except that I am sure you might try to distract me!”

  “Ah!” She threw her arm dramatically to her head. “I am discovered!”

  “Indeed.” His rich chuckle warmed her right through and she looked archly at him.

  “So, what is it we are going to talk about, William?”

  He took the chair on the other side of the fire, leaned forward and took her hands in his. “I think you already know, Elizabeth. You are a clever and resourceful lady and I love you more than life itself. But I also know you to be strong and determined. I suspect you intend to find a way to go to Longbourn tomorrow to confront your mother — hoping I would not know until afterwards.”

  She felt herself blush and looked at the flames leaping in the fireplace. “I am foolish not to imagine that you can read my intentions as I seem to know yours.” She looked up at him. “I did not wish to worry you, William; but I know Mama, and I would wish to listen to the tirade that I must, so that it has all blown over by the next day. I will not have Jane distressed by overhearing it as I help her dress for the wedding.”

  He lifted one of her hands and then the other, kissing them each in turn. “May I come with you?”

  She looked at her hands, feeling the heat from his lips lingering on her skin.

  “I do not want you hearing what she will say.” Her voice was quiet and she forced herself to look up at him. “I know what she will say and it cannot be changed. I don’t think she will ever be able to change, she will always be a source of mortification and embarrassment to us.” She shrugged a little. “But this moment must be endured, so that I can fulfil Jane’s dearest wish.” She raised a hand to his face, and traced a finger down his cheek.

  “I am so fortunate to have you, William, as my husband, and I love the way you wish to protect me from hurt. But I am feeling so much stronger now, you have helped me these last months and given me confidence again. I can — and I must — do this.”

  His smile
caressed her. “Dearest Elizabeth. I understand your wish to see her alone, but might I be nearby? Perhaps I could call on your father so I am in the house?”

  She bit her lip, trying not to laugh. “Oh, William. You have not been to Longbourn, or heard my mother in full voice. There is nowhere in the house that you will not hear her.” She enjoyed his attempt to keep his expression impassive, and knew he was recalling Mama accosting him at their own wedding breakfast.

  “But if you sincerely wish it, and promise to try not to listen more than you can help, I expect Papa will welcome the distraction.”

  She was in his arms as he embraced her closely. “You will permit me?”

  She nodded. “I will. Now perhaps we might talk of Pemberley.”

  “Pemberley?” He sounded puzzled.

  She nodded. “I was going to ask that we might return there very soon. I would love to watch spring arrive and see the gardens come to life. But I had a thought earlier that perhaps we might need to remain in London for the season if Georgiana is to be out. Had you determined that she come out this season, or will she await the next?”

  He rubbed his face. “Not this year. She is only just sixteen, as you know, and I think she is far too young, even though I know some may say that I am being overprotective.” He looked at Elizabeth. “What are your thoughts on the matter?”

  She smiled. “You are undoubtedly protective of her, William, but I think it is too soon for her, and I believe if you ask her, she would agree.” She felt herself colouring. “And, perhaps she’d like to be part of the family as we become better acquainted.”

  His voice deepened. “Does she know about …?”

  “No.” Elizabeth shook her head. “I am trying not to raise any suspicions, William. It is much too soon, and I wish you had not divined it.”

  He tightened his embrace. “I promise to be surprised and delighted whenever you feel able to make the announcement, Elizabeth.”