A Life Apart

by Harriet Knowles

  She nodded. “I think so. I could see Papa was going to impress upon her the importance of being more guarded in her conversation while the wedding guests are at the house.” Her eyes, bright and inquisitive, rose to his.

  “I was, of course, rather startled to find she said that she had written to you very often.”

  He felt himself flush and looked out of the window. “I did not feel it appropriate to distress you with the fact, Elizabeth.”

  “I wonder if I am able to guess at the content of her letters,” she mused, gazing out of the windows.

  “She would, of course, have asked that she and my sisters come to Pemberley. And that you introduce them to your very rich friends and family,” she laughed. “And I cannot imagine that she would not also demand that they all possess new gowns in order to make the very best impression.”

  Darcy chuckled, and took her hand and kissed it. “You know your mother very well, Elizabeth. I cannot think of anything you have missed.”

  She leaned against him. “Oh, William. I am so grateful to you for standing up for me, for being at my side.” She lifted her face to his. “Thank you. I have the best husband in the world, and I don’t deserve you.”

  He bent his head to touch her lips with his. “I am the most fortunate one, Elizabeth. Who could ever have believed that after such an inauspicious start, our marriage would have developed such trust and a strength that many do not have.” He looked into her eyes.

  “And that, I believe is due to your strength and generosity of spirit.” He lifted his hand and caressed the tendril of hair that had escaped her hat. “I see it as my duty now, to protect you and make your life as secure and as happy as is within my power.”

  “I think of myself as the luckiest person,” she murmured, leaning against him, and he felt his love for her constrict his throat.

  “I think that you should rest this afternoon, Elizabeth. Tomorrow is a busy day for you.”

  She glanced up, her eyes dancing. “I would like it especially if you were to call upon me after an hour or so to check if I am well!”

  Chapter 77

  Elizabeth sat forward in the coach, looking for Longbourn to come into view. She was longing to see Jane, and watch her happiness as she prepared for her marriage.

  She wanted nothing more for her sister than the happiness she herself had found with William, and she was delighted that Jane would not have to endure what she had on the way to her happiness.

  She could still feel the warm comfort of William’s embrace that morning, before they’d had to part and do their own preparations.

  William was trying to hide his amusement and reassure Mr. Bingley that everything was in order and properly prepared to receive the new mistress of Netherfield after the wedding breakfast.

  But he had left the group and escorted her to the coach when she had left for Longbourn.

  “Take care, Elizabeth. Enjoy the time with your sister and I will see you again when you are standing up with her at the church.”

  His eyes sent warmth rushing through her. “I will be reliving our own vows,” he said. “And I will repeat them in my heart.”

  She blinked hard. “You are a romantic, Mr. Darcy.”

  “You have made me so, Elizabeth.” He’d kissed her hand, reluctant to let her go.

  But the coach was arriving at the house and Elizabeth alighted from it, looking up at Jane’s window and seeing her watching for her.

  “Jane!” In her sister’s bedchamber, Elizabeth hurried to embrace her. “We will have such a wonderful morning. It will go really fast, you will see.”

  She was shocked to see her sister was in tears. “What is the matter, Jane?” She drew her to sit on the bed beside her.

  Jane patted her eyes with her handkerchief. “Oh, I am so sorry, Lizzy, so very sorry.”

  “Whatever for?” Elizabeth felt a sense of dread. “What can have gone so terribly wrong? Mr. Bingley is at Netherfield — he is nervous, but is beaming all over his face that the day is finally here. What has happened?”

  “Nothing,” Jane sobbed. “But I asked Papa yesterday what your wedding was like. Oh, Lizzy, you must have suffered so very much, and today must be such a cruel reminder.”

  Elizabeth burst into laughter. “Oh, Jane! You suffer so much at the imagined thoughts of others, when they are not always thinking that at all!”

  She squeezed her sister’s hand. “I am just so happy that I can be with you, that Mama has promised not to create a scene to mar the day, and I will not have you feeling unhappy for me.” She mopped her sister’s tears away.

  “And do you believe me when I say I am truly happy now, that William is the perfect man for me to have married?

  “Oh, yes. Anyone who knows you as well as I do can see that, Lizzy.”

  “Well, then. I had to go through what I did in order to be happy now, or I could never have been married to William any other way, he would never have noticed me.”

  Jane sat up straighter. “Are you truly happy to be here?”

  “I am. I would do anything not to miss it,” Elizabeth assured her.

  Jane smiled, relieved. “I think you did, didn’t you, by coming to see Mama and being pleasant to her.”

  “Well …” Elizabeth hesitated and Jane laughed.

  “I know that, for you, it must have been mortifying.” She embraced her sister. “Thank you. Thank you for doing that for me, Lizzy.”

  “I could not bear it if anything spoiled your day, Jane.” Elizabeth jumped to her feet. “Now, we must get you all ready. You will be the most beautiful bride there ever was.”

  Jane went suddenly pale. “There is not long now.” Her voice was anxious.

  “There is time enough.” Elizabeth drew her down in front of the mirror. “Here is your brush, Jane. Let me hold the beaded pins while you twist it up for me to fix.”

  Her plan was effective. Jane calmed down with the familiar ritual of many previous years and soon the sisters were laughing together as if they had never been apart.

  “Now your gown.” Elizabeth drew it from the closet and sighed. “It is perfect for you, perfect.”

  The door opened and her mother bustled in. “Come on, Jane. Lizzy, what are you doing? It is nearly time to go, hurry up, hurry up!”

  Elizabeth put her hand reassuringly on Jane’s shoulder. “Good morning, Mama. You’re going to have the most beautiful daughter that ever stood to marry, are you not?”

  Her mother was stopped as she drew breath to scold. “Oh! Oh, yes!” she came forward and kissed Jane. “You are so lovely, and you will have the most handsome husband there ever was!”

  Mr. Bingley had sent a decorated carriage to take Jane and Elizabeth to the church, and after the rest of the family had left in their father’s own coach, Elizabeth held Jane’s gown while she climbed in.

  “Oh, Lizzy, tell me everything will be just right,” Jane sighed.

  “I will do no such thing, Jane! Everything will be much more than all right, it will be perfect!” Elizabeth sat opposite Jane. Thank goodness Mama had been guarding her tongue. Jane was serene and as untroubled as she could expect her to be.

  “So, Jane.” Elizabeth smiled. “How many days do you think Mama will be able to stay away from Netherfield before she comes calling?”

  “Oh, Lizzy!” Jane scolded. “You must be kinder.” Then she blushed. “We are only one night at Netherfield, then we are going to Bath and will tour the West Country.”

  “That sounds an eminently good idea,” Elizabeth agreed. “You might even come on up to Pemberley afterwards to visit, if Netherfield is to be shut up.”

  Jane went pink. “I have to say that I am wondering where in the country would be a good place to settle, if a purchase presents itself.”

  “Anywhere in Hertfordshire is rather too close to Longbourn, I suppose.” Elizabeth was delighted. “Jane, you must consider Derbyshire. There are a large number of the most magnificent estates. And I would love to be near you.”
/>   Jane looked down. “Yes, I had thought it might be a suitable place to look,” she admitted.

  Elizabeth laughed in delight. “It will be wonderful, Jane. And now we are here, so all you must do now is enjoy yourself.”

  Elizabeth stood slightly behind Jane, able to see William, who was standing as groomsman beside Mr. Bingley.

  She knew his eyes were on her, and she relaxed, secure that he was there. Even the fact that she was surrounded by the family she had sworn to shun forever didn’t distress her as it would if she had not had his unfailing support.

  She listened as the clergyman took Mr. Bingley through his responses, knowing that William was renewing his own to her, this time with utter sincerity.

  … to love and to cherish, till death do us part …

  She repeated the words herself, knowing what it felt like to be truly cherished.

  She blinked away that mist that obscured her vision. Was it her condition that made her so emotional? She really hoped so, she wanted to be the strong, independent Elizabeth again, sure that William might appreciate her more if she was less emotional.

  Still, it didn’t matter, really. She knew he loved her, knew he always would.

  She pulled her attention back to the ceremony, eager to enjoy the rest of the day as the service itself drew to a close.

  She and William walked side by side behind Jane and her new husband as they walked down the aisle, stopping every few moments to be greeted by the scores of well-wishers from the town.

  Elizabeth noticed a few disapproving glances cast her way. She had almost forgotten the opinion of the town about her ruin and she stiffened. They had stopped behind Jane once more, and William moved closer to her and offered his arm.

  “Ignore them, Elizabeth. They are not worth a moment of your attention.”

  She raised her head. She was not ashamed, in fact, she was proud. Proud of her new position in life, the wife of the most handsome, aristocratic and wealthy man any of them had ever known.

  He leaned towards her. “Bravo!”

  Chapter 78

  Darcy’s own coach was among those waiting outside the church to convey them to Longbourn for the wedding breakfast. Georgiana embraced Elizabeth.

  “You looked so lovely, Elizabeth. I could hardly look at your sister!”

  Elizabeth laughed. “As I told you, I’m so glad Mr. Bingley could provide for a good gown for her, so I could also wear a nice one without outshining her.”

  Darcy frowned slightly. “Does that mean what I think it does?”

  Her playful expression made him suspicious. “The matter did not arise, William. So do not trouble yourself!”

  Richard laughed. “I think you would do better not to enquire, Darcy!” He sat back comfortably, despite his dress uniform looking exceedingly awkward to relax in.

  “Very well.” Darcy thought there would be tension enough at Longbourn without pressing the issue. He sat back, thinking. The wedding breakfast. Then a last night at Netherfield, where he’d ensure they all retired suitably early to leave the newlyweds alone — if Miss Bingley took the hint. Then, tomorrow, the whole party would leave Netherfield to be closed up. Bingley would take his new wife west, to Bath, and the rest would travel to London.

  He wondered what the weather would be like in Derbyshire. Elizabeth yearned to travel north as soon after the wedding as was practicable. Now they could. She and Georgiana were already good friends. Mrs. Annesley was an attentive companion for Georgiana if Darcy wanted to claim Elizabeth’s attention.

  He wondered if Richard would come too. It would be good to have his company after dinner, over the port.

  But he could not raise the topic now, there was not time. Perhaps on the journey to London tomorrow? He smiled, he would ask Elizabeth that night. She would know.

  At Longbourn, they were engulfed in a noisy, uninhibited group.

  “Lizzy!” Two very young women in tight-bodiced gowns grasped at her hands. “Is this Mr. Darcy? Will you invite us and have a ball for us?”

  The only thing preventing his drawing back in disgust was Elizabeth. He sensed her own dismay at their behaviour, and that she had to nerve herself before smiling.

  “Lydia! Kitty! It is good to see you again. Yes, it is Mr. Darcy, and no, we do not have balls at Pemberley. Or in London.” She discreetly extracted her hand, and they moved on.

  Darcy stayed by her side, knowing that Richard took his responsibility for Georgiana very seriously and they were also close by as far as possible. Miss Bingley and her sister moved through the crowds with disgusted, disdainful expressions. He hoped he was doing better than they.

  “I am glad I do not have them as sisters-in-law.” Elizabeth’s laugh made him smile.

  Then he realised she was steering him through to more familiar figures. At least he had already made his peace with her aunt and uncle.

  He bowed. “Good afternoon, Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner.”

  After they’d returned his greeting, Mrs. Gardiner kissed her niece and began to talk to her about Jane’s gown and they slowly moved away. Darcy was left talking to Gardiner and Richard, watching Elizabeth as she went.

  Would Mrs. Gardiner divine Elizabeth’s condition? He thought she’d looked rather sharply at her. He was surprised that nobody yet had seemed to see anything different about her. To him it was so obvious. Her radiant health, her serenity and her gently rounded form drew all his protective senses to the fore. But she didn’t seem to want to make the announcement, not even to him, at least formally. So he had to stay quiet, however regretfully.

  “You can concentrate on other matters, you know, Darcy.” Richard’s murmur drew his attention away.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  His cousin smiled. “It seems you cannot take your gaze from her, Darcy. It appears your obligation has turned into a great deal more.”

  Darcy felt himself flush, and he didn’t know whether his embarrassment was more to Richard’s words or to Gardiner’s quiet chuckle of appreciation.

  “Excuse me.” He strode away from them, scowling, as if to look for a servant bearing a tray of glasses.

  “I beg your pardon, Mr. Darcy. I meant no offence.” Mr. Gardiner had followed him and Darcy forced himself to mind his manners.

  “I took no offence, Mr. Gardiner.” Darcy passed him a glass from the servant’s tray before taking another for himself.

  “Thank you. I can quite see the situation is best forgotten. But Longbourn can hardly fail to be a reminder.” Gardiner looked round the room. “I doubt you will want to return.”

  Darcy followed his gaze. “Only if my wife desires it.”

  The older man glanced at him. “I have heard from my wife that it was you that encouraged Lizzy to become reconciled with the family. I haven’t thanked you for that. It cannot have been an agreeable decision for you.”

  “But the best for Elizabeth.” Darcy didn’t take his eyes from his wife, who was talking to a plain, downcast-looking young lady.

  A shriek of delight in his ear and a tug on his sleeve. He set his expression not to show what he thought and turned to his mother-in-law.

  “Mrs. Bennet. I must congratulate you on the marriage of your eldest daughter.”

  “Yes, yes! You must come and meet my sister!” Mrs. Bennet almost dragged him across the room, to a group of vulgar women. He must do this for Elizabeth. He must.

  But it was only a moment before his wife was beside him again, slipping her hand into his arm. “Good afternoon, Aunt Philips. It’s good to see you again. May I introduce you to Mr. Darcy?”

  Darcy noted the coldness in her voice. This must be the aunt who had spread the news of Elizabeth’s ruin. He did not smile as he bowed, but the woman didn’t notice. She simpered and fawned over him, as did Mrs. Bennet.

  “You will please excuse us,” Elizabeth said, having allowed only a brief time for them, drawing him away. “I would like to introduce Mr. Darcy to Charlotte.”

  He was slightly amused at her
skill in detaching him from the local matrons and followed her willingly. Who was Charlotte?

  She reached the plain, sad-looking young lady she’d been talking to.

  “Charlotte, may I introduce you to my husband, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth turned to him.

  “William, my very close friend, Miss Lucas.” He was startled. Lucas?

  “Delighted, Miss Lucas.” While he bowed, he tried to place the name. Then he recalled the letter from Bingley, that he’d been to the gathering and fallen for the eldest Miss Lucas. And, of course, Bingley’s sisters had put a stop to that, and brought Bingley back to London.

  It must be very hard for her, coming to the wedding if she’d had hopes of Bingley, and he knew why Elizabeth was staying with her, despite her feeling of betrayal that Charlotte was one of the townsfolk who had never written to her. He stayed too, listening idly to their conversation, punctuated by the occasional shrieks of Mrs. Bennet.

  Thankfully, it would soon be time to go.

  Chapter 79

  The midsummer sun was warm and enervating. Elizabeth sat, drowsy in the heat of the afternoon. She knew she ought to move, perhaps, into the shadow of the great house just behind her, but she did love the sun.

  Peals of laughter caught her attention and she sighed, pushing herself upright. She looked round.

  Georgiana was down on her knees holding the hands of young Will as he struggled to take a step without sitting down unexpectedly on his rear. But he was determined to walk and Elizabeth knew he was as stubborn as his father. He would soon be walking, weeks before his birthday.

  Jane was sitting nearby in the shade, watching her nephew fondly and Elizabeth sat beside her.

  “It’s cooler here, Jane.” She glanced sympathetically at her sister. “You must be suffering from the heat a great deal.”

  “I am well.” Jane smiled at her. “I seem to remember that you found last summer very trying.”

  “Oh, yes!” Elizabeth laughed out loud and Georgiana looked up just as Will’s legs wouldn’t hold him up any longer. He sat down hard and stared at Georgiana reproachfully before he opened his mouth to howl.