Always

by Maverick, Henley

  I hated feeling so angry all the time. But ever since the war, it had been there, this constant rage that threatened to overflow within me at any moment. I had to be so careful to keep it bottled up. My shrink had suggested finding healthy ways of releasing the anger and the aggression. I’d taken up intense weight lifting, morning jogs, and even meditation, but none of it did much to help. The anger was a never-ending well of endless rage and pain. I just wanted to feel peace again. Would this ever be possible?

  “Oh, wow!” Austin said just then.

  His eyes were staring at something in the corner that was very interesting to him. We all turned to look at what had captivated his attention. Sitting at the end of the bar, all by herself, was a very striking woman. She was tall with long red hair, a beautiful face, and long slender legs that grew out of the sleek black dress she was wearing. And she had a very large, natural looking chest. This woman was hot.

  “Oh, that is nice!” Kevin said. He bit into his fist as he stared. Josh was now drooling a bit.

  “I do believe that angel was sent here for me,” Austin smiled.

  Before any of us could reply, he was on his way over to chat her up. We all watched intensely. Austin had a great gift of gab and could always talk a good game, but this only really attracted a certain type of woman. Unfortunately, Austin could not tell which women would respond to his particular charms just by looking, so he basically hit on anything in a skirt. He was a pig, but he was my friend.

  “Oh, man, I say he is getting shut down,” Kevin laughed.

  “Nah, I think he might have a shot with this one,” Josh replied.

  “Want to bet? Twenty bucks?”

  Josh smiled. “You are on!”

  I chuckled to myself.

  We watched him talking with the woman for a few minutes. I thought he might actually be getting somewhere until the woman started laughing and turned away from him. I couldn’t hear what she said, but it appeared to be a string of a few colorful four-letter words followed by a rude gesture.

  “Yes!” Kevin cheered.

  Josh shook his head and handed the man twenty bucks as Austin came walking back over to the table. Now, most men who’d just been humiliated that way would be feeling kind of down and might possibly never talk to a woman again, but Austin was that rare breed of guy who just did not care. He had fun when a woman said, “Yes,” and he had fun when they said, “No.” To him, it was all a game.

  It used to be funny, but he was almost twenty-six and it was getting a bit sad. None of us had the heart to tell him about that, though. I’m not sure he would have cared if we did.

  “That was rough, man,” I said.

  Austin laughed. “All par for the course.”

  “What did you say to her that got her that mad?” Josh asked.

  “I just asked her if her breasts were real.”

  “What?!” Josh blurted out, laughing. “What is wrong with you?”

  “I wanted to know. You know I don’t like the fake ones,” Austin replied.

  “You are a scumbag,” I said. “Pure and simple.”

  “Yep. And?” Austin asked matter-of-factly.

  This night was turning out more entertaining than I thought it would be.

  Chapter Seven

  Ava

  “Okay, so who is the hottest guy in the bar?” Harper asked.

  The other ladies started to look around the room, scanning slowly, and trying to be inconspicuous. I rolled my eyes but decided to join them in their game. I was out to have a good time after all, but I wasn’t sure I had enough alcohol in my system to think this was fun. Or maybe I was still frustrated over everything else I was dealing with: the horrible date and the fact that I still couldn’t get Haden out of my mind.

  The bar had a few groups of guys, most of them with other girls already, but a few stand-alone groups that showed promise. I’d never been one to seriously date a guy I’d met in a bar, but I was willing to give it a shot if the right guy happened to come along. Maybe I was being too picky in some ways.

  “That guy in the corner looks hot,” Jamie said.

  We turned to see a tall guy with a motorcycle jacket, handkerchief on his head, and chain attached to his wallet, playing the jukebox. He looked like he had just stepped out of some biker magazine. But he was ruggedly handsome if you were into that sort of guy. I preferred a more clean-cut guy, but to each their own.

  “Nah, he looks like he needs a bath. In water this time and not grease,” Harper joked.

  “That is harsh,” Jamie replied.

  “Well, I’m being honest.”

  “How about the guy over in the corner talking to those two blonde bimbos?” Kelly asked.

  I laughed out loud. If there was ever a perfect picture of the two ditsiest looking blondes that had just stepped out of a beer commercial, it was these two. They weren’t twins but you could tell they wished they were and probably did everything together, which I found disturbing. It was normal in eighth grade but in your twenties, it was pretty sad.

  “I think he has a decent shot,” Harper said. “It’s obvious his standards are pretty low or that he is definitely only after one thing.”

  “You just described most men. I have yet to find a guy who isn’t a walking penis,” Kelly joked.

  “True, but I’ve heard stories,” I chimed in. “They are out there…somewhere…”

  We all had a good laugh.

  “Okay, keep scanning,” I said. I was actually starting to get into it now. This was kind of fun. People you didn’t know having no idea you’re making fun of them was so satisfying sometimes. Maybe I’d had enough beer…

  “How about the Miami Vice wannabe?” Harper suggested.

  I looked over to where she was pointing. There was a guy who dressed exactly like Don Johnson from Miami Vice with the same hair, the sports coat with the sleeves rolled up, and the matching slacks. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he pulled out one of those huge old 1980’s cell phones.

  “He could be cute,” Jamie said seriously.

  We all looked at her and then started laughing.

  “What? I think sports coats are hot. Plus, I’ve always had a thing for Don Johnson. Sue me.”

  “Okay then…” Harper said.

  “Oh, wow! How about that group of guys playing pool?”

  We all looked over to see a group of college-aged guys playing a game of pool. A few of them didn’t look like they could even stand up straight anymore as they staggered around. It was that time of year. The new school year was getting ready to start up again, so the kids getting ready to go back to school were hanging out at the local bar for one last big party weekend.

  “They are a bit young therefore a bit stupid for our taste,” Kelly said.

  “Hey, those younger guys are machines,” Harper replied. “And sometimes stupid is a good thing.”

  “What young guys? We are twenty-five. A lot of guys our age past their prime or something?” Jamie asked.

  “You’d be surprised at how much difference there is between twenty and twenty-five when it comes to male sexual performance.”

  I almost choked on my beer laughing. Harper was too much sometimes, but she was always the one to keep the party moving and everyone else entertained.

  That was why we hung out with her, for the laughs.

  “Well, I guess the pickings in here are pretty slim tonight,” Kelly said.

  “I wasn’t aware we were going on the prowl anyway,” I added. “I thought we were just chilling.”

  “We are, but you always have to be ready in case you meet Mr. Wonderful. Besides, a little harmless flirting or mutual admiration is not a bad thing,” Harper said.

  “Well said, Harper,” Jaime added.

  I checked for emails on my phone and scrolled through some junk mail for a minute. At this point, I was now starting to get a little bored and wondered if maybe going out tonight was worth it at all. Suddenly, I started feeling pretty tired and wanted to go home. But I
couldn’t be a party pooper now. All of my friends seemed to be having a great time.

  “Hold the phone…” Harper said.

  “What?” Jamie asked on high alert.

  “Over in that corner at the table. You can hardly see them because it’s kind of dark over there. I wonder if they are trying to hide or if they are just there to leer at girls, so they don’t want to be seen.”

  I glanced up from my phone to see what Harper had discovered. There was a group of guys in the corner, laughing and drinking beers. From the looks of it, they were going through several buckets of the stuff. They looked decent enough. They were all clean cut and fairly nice looking. They might have been interesting, maybe even fun. Although I couldn’t really see the one who had his back to us.

  “Damn, that is pretty sweet,” Jamie said.

  “I’ll say,” Kelly replied. “I like the shorter one with the good hair.”

  “The one with the weird face? He is doing most of the talking. Probably has a massive ego,” Harper observed.

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Oh, don’t I? You forget who I am or something?” Harper teased.

  “So, who is going over there?” Kelly asked.

  “What? No one. We are just looking around,” I shot back. “Nobody is going over there.”

  “Uh oh,” Jamie said. “It sounds like someone doesn’t want to have any fun tonight.”

  “Guys, I didn’t come out to meet a man. I just—” I started before Harper cut me off.

  “You keep complaining about not finding the right guy. Well, here is your problem. You don’t take the action when the opportunity is presented in front of you.”

  “I’m just not in the mood,” I protested. “Besides I’m old-fashioned. Aren’t guys supposed to hit on us?”

  “This is the modern world,” Harper said. “In our grandmothers’ days, we had to waste time just waiting to be chosen. Do you have any idea how much power that takes away from us? We are living in the 21st Century now. You have to get over that.”

  I rolled my eyes. I didn’t want to get over it.

  “And what do you suggest—” I started but my breath was taken from my body suddenly as I glanced back over at the table in the corner.

  The guy who had his back to us just turned his head and looked over towards the bar. I could see his profile now. I couldn’t believe what my eyes were looking at.

  There, sitting just across the room from me, was Haden.

  Chapter Eight

  Haden

  “Wow, look over there,” Austin said.

  I looked up from the table to see what he was going on about now. For once, he had something interesting in his sights. Walking into the bar was a group of girls about our age or maybe a bit younger. There were four of them and they were all attractive. Even in my disillusioned state of mind, I could tell that much, but I groaned inside at the sight of them. I groaned even louder when they immediately zeroed in on us.

  Austin was suddenly very animated. The guy could not control himself at all. He was a perpetual thirteen-year-old, and I didn’t see him ever changing.

  “Hey, ladies,” he shouted, waving at the girls as they sidled up to the bar. The girls looked our way and then at each other. After a brief conference and some laughter that may have been condescending, I wasn’t sure, they made their way over to our table.

  Austin quickly snatched some chairs from the table next to ours and made room before any of us could protest. I think he forgot that one person in our group was married, and I was not in the best of moods.

  After the initial introductions, the group of girls subtly paired up with each of us, and we all delved into our own little conversations. I wasn’t sure how the hell I’d ended up here, and I really did not want to be doing this. It felt weird. I was sitting beside a beautiful brunette woman named Ella who seemed fairly sweet and interesting. During the day, she was a bookkeeper for a local oil and gas company, and she taught Pilates part time in the evenings.

  She kept asking me questions that I could barely hear, which made me ask to repeat herself a lot. I know she was getting annoyed but she didn’t show it. Maybe she was used to practicing patience being an instructor and all.

  “So, what do you do?” Ella asked me.

  “Oh, I work construction,” I answered.

  She nodded at least pretending to be interested.

  “How do you like that?” She asked.

  “It’s okay,” I replied.

  Silence hung for several seconds. I was adding nothing to this conversation. I felt bad for her and wanted to tell her that if she preferred to not talk to me and sit here in silence, that would have been perfect, but she was determined to try to crack my tough exterior.

  “Well, that’s good. I’ve had several jobs in my life I hated and it just makes every day so hard and long.”

  I nodded and grabbed another beer from the bucket. I’d lost count how many I’d drunk, but I still felt like I needed to drown some more sorrows. I wasn’t as angry as I was earlier, so at least I had that going for me. I hoped that maybe the beer was helping to mellow me out finally. And I wasn’t necessarily sure how healthy that was.

  I wanted to crawl away and hide somewhere. Couldn’t she see that? Wasn’t I being completely obvious? Or was she just so attractive that she couldn’t ever wrap her head around the idea that I wasn’t interested?

  “So, did you go to high school here? Are you from here?” Ella asked.

  “Um, yeah. I did,” I replied.

  “I’ve only lived here a few years. I really like it. I grew up in the city and honestly you get so tired of the overcrowding situation and having to drive so far to get places. I’ve always said I was better suited for small town living. How about you? Have you ever lived in the city?”

  “Um, not really. I don’t think I’d like it.” I took a swig of my beer.

  Austin and the others were having a blast, chatting away and joking their heads off with the other girls. I wished I could have joined them, but I was too far out of it. I knew I should have stayed home.

  “Excuse me,” I said as I got up to go to the restroom. I had to get away from that situation, plus nature was calling my name pretty loudly. After using the restroom and giving myself a pep talk by chatting with my reflection in the mirror, I was starting to feel a bit better. I was okay. I needed to just loosen up.

  I left the restroom and began walking back to our table. I was about halfway there when something caught the corner of my eye.

  I stopped dead in my tracks as if someone had punched me in the gut. My vision went blurry for a moment and the pulse in my body disappeared. It couldn’t be…

  At a table about ten feet from me, sat Ava with a group of girls.

  Chapter Nine

  Ava

  He spotted me. Damn!

  I’d been watching him talk with some pretty girl for a while and then he went to the restroom. I couldn’t believe he was actually here. What did this mean? More like, what did I want it to mean? Hell, if I knew, but I felt like I wanted to slink out of that bar without being seen and go home. I knew I shouldn’t have come out tonight. Why did I get these silly ideas that never end up well?

  I’d watched the mens’ room door until he came back out and did my best to hide my face, but he’d spotted me on his way back. But he did not know that I knew he was there. I was careful to keep my attention focused on my friends and pretend that he wasn’t there. I didn’t know why but I was paralyzed with fear. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling right then or how to make sense of it. I knew that I wanted to leave, but for the life of me I could not get my legs to move or my lips to offer up some flimsy excuse to my friends.

  Harper wouldn’t have let it slide anyway. She would have grilled me until I told her what was wrong. I had to keep acting naturally.

  I did my best but it was not going to work. I could feel it.

  “So, who is going first?” Jamie asked. “It’s going to look weird
if we all go over there.”

  “No!” I blurted. It came out as more of an angry command than a statement.

  “What is wrong with you?” Harper asked.

  Crap… she could see right through me. I knew it. She could tell right in my face that something was wrong. Harper had an intuitive nature about people. Sometimes it was so annoying.

  “I’m okay. I guess I’m getting tired and maybe a little bit of a headache.”

  “Ok, does that mean you are volunteering?” Harper joked.

  “No. Not even. I don’t think we should bother those guys. I mean they are already talking with some other girls. How weird will it look?”

  “Correction,” Kelly said. “They were talking to some other girls. But the girls are leaving, it looks like.”

  “Well, if those girls didn’t want to waste time even talking to those guys for very long then why do we want to bother?” I asked.

  Harper looked at the other girls and then at me. “Ok, you are definitely acting strange. What is up?”

  My mind was racing even faster than my pulse. I was starting to sweat. Harper knew all about Haden— hell, most of the town did—but she had apparently not recognized him. He did look slightly different. If anything, he was better looking. He’d always been tall and athletic, but he’d actually filled out a bit to add some muscle to his lanky build. His body was tight and toned, and his face still clean-shaven. His hair was a bit longer than when I’d last seen him, but I liked it. The extra length gave his hair a nice wavy look that was totally working for him. God, he looked incredible. It took every fiber in my body to keep myself in my seat and avoid running over to grab him.

  But I couldn’t do that. That would have been disastrous. Hell, he probably didn’t have anything to say to me. After all, I’d been the one who had officially ended things.

  Aside from admiring Haden, I didn’t know how to answer Harper’s question, so I did the first thing I could think of. I had to distract everyone from my weird outburst.