Cross my Heart (Iris Boys Book 4)

by Lucy Smoke

  I lifted my eyes once more, meeting his gaze. Something passed through us, a wave—a connection I couldn’t explain by any normal standards. Texas took a hesitant step forward as though he couldn’t help himself. His lips parted and his teeth were clenched. “Fuck.” He hissed the curse between his teeth and then the next thing I knew, he was on me.

  Texas grabbed my arms and kissed me, pulling me against him hard. His hands slid down to the straps of my bra and I released the towel. My front was completely bare. In fact, all of me was, aside from my underwear. I pushed him back, kissing him just as hard as he kissed me as though all my desire for him had been pent up and now, it was finally unleashed.

  It felt like we’d been building towards this all day—though I hadn’t meant for that to be what today was about. I’m sure he hadn’t either, but I couldn’t wait anymore. His chest touched the front of mine. I could feel his heart race alongside my own.

  Texas’ hands found my butt, cupping underneath me and pulling me up. My eyes popped open as he lifted me in his arms. Instinctively, my legs encircled his waist. I gasped when his hardness came into contact with the place between my legs, and he groaned against my mouth. I shuddered in his arms. He pulled his mouth away, panting as his chest pumped up and down. His dark eyes looked me over.

  “I can’t carry you if you’re kissing me,” he explained. “I don’t want to drop you.”

  “Do I make you that crazy?” I asked, cheeks flushed and mind slowly growing even more foggy with lust.

  His eyes glittered. “You drive me insane, Spider-Monkey.”

  Texas walked me down the hall towards my room and once we were inside, he kicked the door shut behind us and let go of my butt. My legs slid down on either side of him as I dropped to the floor. He retook my mouth with a vengeance. His lips slammed down against mine, stealing away my breath. I closed my eyes and reached up, grabbing onto his hair as I arched up on my toes. I curled my fingers into the short dark strands attached to his head and rubbed against him, the heat that had been wracking my body since this morning finally flowing through me unfettered.

  "Texas..." His name was a whisper on my tongue, a promise, a plea. He backed me further into the room, his hands on my sides, his fingers sliding against my naked skin. I shivered as they moved to my back and skated down my spine. Everywhere he touched came alive.

  Texas pulled away from my mouth as we made it to my bed. "Harlow." He said my name as a question, a request, a plea. My chest heaved as I stared up at him. "I know you've been with the others—not all of them—I just want to know that you're okay with this. We're not—I'm not...I don't want you to think that we're taking advantage of you, that I'm taking advantage of you."

  "You're not," I said quickly, reaching up to cup his jaw hard in one hand as I leveled my eyes at him. "I know you're not trying to do that. You would never take advantage of me. I trust you, Texas." His eyes watched me, searching for any sign of hesitation on my part. He wouldn’t find any. "I love you," I whispered.

  His breath caught and a light sheen entered his eyes just a moment before he crushed me to his naked chest. My breasts brushed against his ribs as he squeezed me tight. "I love you too, Spider-Monkey. So fucking much." I started at the dry, choked sound of his voice. He shook against me as he held me and for someone as naked as I was, this felt like a different kind of vulnerability.

  Finally, I pulled away and looked up into Texas’ face. He wasn't crying, but whatever he was feeling, he was feeling it intensely. I reached up, taking his face into my hands as I pressed my lips to his. Softly, at first, and then harder the longer I kissed him. When he started to kiss me back, moving me onto the mattress of my bed, I shuddered in his arms.

  Texas consumed me. His eyes captured mine and kept them locked up in this space between us. His hands trailed down my sides, fingers hovering over my skin for brief moments as if he wasn't quite sure of his welcome. It was so unlike him that I wondered...was this...could this be his first time?

  "Texas?" I pulled away from our kiss as he moved over me on the bed.

  "Yeah?" His eyes were hooded, drugged. He looked at me as a man that didn't just want me, but as a man that would fall apart if he didn't have me. It made me feel desired, but more than that, it made me feel needed.

  "Is this...I mean...are you a..." I didn't know how to ask the question. I bit my lip, considering. Would he be embarrassed? I wondered.

  Texas chuckled low under his breath. "Is this my first time?" he asked as though he'd read my mind.

  I jerked my eyes up and met his soft gaze. He stared back, his eyes dark and longing. "I-It's not bad—I mean if you are, it's fine," I said a bit awkwardly.

  He chuckled again. "No, Harlow, it's not my first time. I know how to take care of you."

  "That's not what I was—" I squealed as he moved down suddenly, and his hands went to the sides of my underwear.

  "Shall I prove it to you?" he asked, tugging.

  "N-no, that's fine, you don't have to. We can just—"

  "I want to, Harlow." His voice was full of that longing again, pulling me under with him—lulling me into this space we had created in my bedroom. "Let me?" He pressed a soft kiss to the side of my hip bone as he slipped my underwear down another inch.

  I couldn't deny him—it was physically impossible for me to tell him no. And truly, I didn't want to. I wanted this just as much as he apparently did. I let Texas pull my underwear away, slipping them down past my knees and over my legs as he pulled them off and tossed them over his shoulder.

  Though he wasn't as big as Grayson or Bellamy or even Marv, Texas fit perfectly between my legs, moving down expertly which was odd considering just moments before I had wondered if he was a virgin.

  I laid back and gasped as the first stroke of his tongue against the inside of my thighs shocked me and scrambled my thoughts. My muscles tensed, my body tightening as he moved in, draping one leg over his shoulder and then the other. My hands moved back to his head, sliding into the silken strands as his mouth moved from my inner thigh to my core.

  His mouth moved over me, his tongue tracing against my wetness as I clenched hard, arching into his touch. Texas moved one hand to my entrance, sliding two fingers up inside and nearly made me come off the bed. I shuddered and shivered in his grip, letting him control the pace. Whatever had been holding him back before had obviously been unleashed. He kissed my core, licking it, sucking it until I was out of my head with want. My need drove me high, leaving me cresting just at the edge for several moments before finally—thankfully—I tumbled over to the other side, my whole body clamping down on his fingers as I lifted to that climax.

  When I came down from the high, I was drenched in sweat and Texas was moving up over my body. He reached for a condom. I didn’t know where it came from, the floor, the nightstand, his discarded pants—and honestly, I didn’t care. His head came down. Texas pressed a sweet kiss to my lips as he rolled it down his length. I kissed him back, curling my arms over his shoulders much in the same way my legs had been curled around him before. He reached between us, shoving his sweatpants down as he aligned just right.

  I met him as he entered, rising up with soft pants and moans as he slid inside. He stilled, the feel of him heavy and hot as he pressed through my entrance. He whispered my name as he stroked deep and withdrew. I kissed him again, pressing my mouth to his softly before pulling away and sliding my lips to his neck. His light beard growth, barely discernible when I wasn't this close scraped against my skin, making me shiver in delight.

  "Texas—" I gasped and moaned once more as he pushed back in. My eyes slid closed and I bit my lip and held on as he thrust and withdrew. Sparks floated to the forefront of my mind, creating a haze over my thoughts. I couldn't think. I could only feel.

  Texas yanked his head back, his hand cupping my skull as he slammed his mouth down against mine one last time as he came to a standstill inside me. We stayed like that for several moments, with him hovering just over me before, w
ith a great bit of careful movement, he moved away.

  Exhausted, I slid down into the mattress and relaxed my muscles as Texas got off the bed. I turned on my side, watching him curiously as he grabbed his sweatpants and left the room. A moment later, he returned with a washcloth.

  I didn't know if every man did it, but the way the guys took care of me—both during and after sex—made me feel special. It was a little awkward at first—I wondered if it would always be that way or if there would come a time when I was just as comfortable with them as they seemed to be with themselves—but it was nice.

  Texas cleaned me up and tossed the washcloth into the laundry basket against the wall before he crawled back onto the mattress, sliding both of us between the sheets as he circled me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. I sighed and snuggled against his chest.

  "Maybe it wasn't Teddi," I commented with a small chuckle.

  "What?" Texas tilted his head back and looked down at me, his brow furrowed in confusion.

  "Maybe she wasn't the thing making me tense," I said. "Because now, I can't think of anything that could stress me out."

  Texas' expression shifted from one of confusion to one of amusement as he tossed his head back and laughed. His arms squeezed me as he laughed from the stomach. "Did I have something to do with that?" he finally asked, his eyes shining with happiness.

  I shrugged tiredly, yawning as I pressed my cheek to his chest. "Maybe," I relented.

  "Glad I could be of service," Texas chuckled.

  "You're more than that," I replied quietly.

  I wasn't sure if he heard me, but whether he did or not, he didn't say anything back and we laid like that in my bed, relishing in the afterglow until I started to drift. It wasn't until much later, when the others arrived home that Texas scooted out of bed and went to greet them that I realized just how monumental these changes in my life were.

  I was having sex with not just one guy, but multiple guys. I was in love with multiple men. What kind of person did that? Well, now I knew the answer: Me. And I didn't regret a single thing.

  Chapter 16

  Perhaps it was how well things were going between the guys and me, but the entire week leading up to the night of the masquerade felt like I was consumed in a bubble of happiness. I watched movies with Bellamy and Texas. I laughed when Texas cooked dinner and switched out the sugar for salt, resulting in a less than appetizing gallon of salty rather than sweet tea. I held hands with Marv as I went with him to run errands for Iris—small things like dropping off packages or meeting with a law firm downtown about sponsoring a charity building. I sat with Knix as he mapped out the continuation of Grayson's pool house—which would apparently have another bedroom added on. I even visited Grayson at work a couple of times, thankful when Justice wasn't there either time.

  It was as though I had fallen into an alternate reality. Teddi wasn't calling or badgering Grayson. I didn't even catch anyone attempting to follow us. If I didn't know any better I would have said that she had given up on us. But on the night of the masquerade, Grayson received a text message from her.

  As we all stood in the living room, dressed and ready for the night, Grayson held his phone up to Knix, who took it and read the text aloud.

  "I look forward to seeing you and your friends tonight. Please tell Harlow I said hello. See you soon. Love, your mother." And just like that, the bubble of happiness we'd all been floating in was popped as reality came crashing down.

  Tense silence echoed throughout the living room. Grayson's jaw was clenched so tight, I was half-worried he might crack a tooth. Bellamy turned and paced away, his broad shoulders stretching the suit coat he wore. Just under the open end of one of his sleeves, I noticed a smudge of paint on his hand as he lifted it to run through his previously neat hair. I sucked in a breath as Marv crossed his arms and waited patiently for someone to say something.

  I didn't know what to say.

  "She must still be having us followed," Texas said, breaking the silence.

  "Or she probably saw the guest list and realized that most of us were coming and would be bringing the others as guests," Marv said.

  "So, she knows then," Grayson growled as he ran a hand roughly over the top of his head. "She knows that we're not caving to her and she's prepared for that."

  "Do you think she's going to do something here?" Knix asked.

  "I don’t know,” Marv answered.

  Tension ate away the earlier relaxed air between us. I drummed my fingers against my thigh as I held my mask in one hand. Think—I had to think. What were we going to do next? What would she do next? Knix had been extremely careful about his mother since the last time he saw her. My eyes drifted to him. There was no worry that she would show up again to throw us off. Marv had called his parents and double checked that they would be opting out of this charity ball as well. He would be going in their stead.

  My eyes flitted around the room, taking in each of their expressions. Their worry was my worry. "What do you think, Little Bit?" Knix asked, turning towards me.

  I lifted my eyes and met his dark ocean blue gaze head on. "There's no use in backing out now," I finally concluded. "She knows we're going, but that doesn't change anything."

  Bellamy came to a stop at the end of the couch. "She's right," he said.

  "It's not like we're planning anything naughty," Texas added with a grin. I shot him a look and he immediately put his hands up. "What? I promise! I haven't done anything."

  "Yet," Marv clarified. "You haven't done anything yet, but don't think that I don't know you well enough to know that you've always got something up your sleeve."

  Texas shrugged. "You can't get mad at me for something I haven't done."

  "But I can be suspicious about what you plan to do," I said before Marv could.

  Texas grinned my way but said nothing more.

  Knix scratched at his stubble as he looked at the rest of us, meeting my gaze briefly before he finally sighed and nodded. "Then, if that's the case, we should probably get going. It wouldn't be polite to be late."

  Marv moved first, heading for the door with Texas trailing behind him, swaying as he went as though he were listening to some upbeat theme music the rest of us couldn't hear. I laughed as he went. Bellamy followed after them and then Grayson. I stayed behind just a moment to see if Knix had anything more to say. Instead of speaking, though, he merely reached out and took my hand. I squeezed his rough palm, letting it envelop my hand with his warmth and strength. My gentle giant.

  I tugged, catching his attention and when he looked down I motioned for him to bend over. When he did, I pressed a quick kiss to his lips—a thank you. He seemed surprised when I released him, but not displeased. In fact, he stood taller—his shoulders back as we headed for the front door. When we got outside, my jaw dropped.

  "You hired a limo?" I gaped at the long stretch of black as it moved around the front of the house. Texas jumped up and down, clapping as he whirled and looked back at my expression.

  "You should see your face!" he laughed.

  I scrunched up my nose and stuck my tongue out at him.

  "Don't sport it if you don't want to use it," Grayson warned. Despite the tension now flowing off his shoulders, there was still a small amused smile gracing his lips as he watched our exchange.

  I rolled my eyes and let Knix tug me down the rest of the steps and into the limo as Marv popped open the door.

  Once we were all inside, the driver pulled away slowly. "Before we get there, there are some things you should know," Knix began. "There will be reporters. There will be cameras and people behind lines asking questions."

  "What?" I blinked, surprised by this news—especially considering this was the first time I'd heard of it. "Seriously? It's just a charity masquerade."

  "A lot of old Charleston socialites attend this thing," Marv said. "Old money, lots of connections. People in the press are always curious about what the rich people are doing. This is one of those ti
mes."

  I sat there, stunned. "Wow," I said. I didn't know what else to say. Standing up to Teddi was one thing—she'd pissed me off, threatened me and my guys. But paparazzi? Reporters? People wanting to know all about me just because of who I was with. I eyed Marv, Grayson, and Knix. Really, they were the ones they wanted to know about, but I still didn't like being anywhere near the spotlight. "We're all getting out together, do you think they'll ask questions about that?" I asked.

  "More than likely," Knix answered. He looked out the window as we turned onto the road. There was something else he seemed to want to tell me, but by the set of his jaw and the tightness around his eyes, it was obvious it didn't make him comfortable.

  In the end, it was Grayson who broke the ice. "They're definitely going to want to know about you since you'll be the only woman amongst us."

  I sat back against my seat with a groan. "Just great," I said.

  "I'm sorry, Little Bit." Knix offered me an apologetic look, but I just shrugged and shook my head.

  "It's fine, it can't be avoided."

  Bellamy reached out and took my hand, drawing my attention. "Don't worry about it too hard," he suggested. "We'll be there too."

  I smiled and leaned against his side. "Yeah," I said. "You're right."

  A half an hour later, however, we pulled up to the charity masquerade venue and my heart rate doubled. I held my breath as the limo slowed to a stop and an attendant stepped forward, their hand closing around the door handle. A moment more and I'd be out there, with flashing lights in my face. I needed to be ready. Grayson's hand touched mine and I jerked my eyes away from the tinted windows and met his gaze.

  I expected him to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to mine. I closed my eyes and let the feel of him wash over me as I accepted the offering of his lips. When he pulled back, the door opened and I turned towards it, stepping out on my heels.

  As expected, flashes erupted as cameras went off. I had no clue how a celebrity felt when walking down the red carpet, but I imagined it was something like this. Grayson stepped out of the car, joining me as his hand slid around my waist and then Marv was there was well. Reporters shouted from roped off areas, more cameras went off. I kept a light smile on my face, but I felt frozen.