His Brother's Castoff

by Lena Nelson Dooley

❧

  How long was he going to have to stay in this room? August was tired of the confinement, even though it had only been three days. He sat up on the side of the bed. He had to sit there for a few moments. All this inactivity would make any man feel a little woozy. Of course, the fire had sapped his strength, too. While he waited for his head to clear, he flexed his stiff hands. The blaze had left them dry, cracked, and sore.

  He was glad that no one had taken away his clothes. He reached across to the chair and got his trousers. After carefully pulling them on, he stood up, walked to the window, and leaned both hands against the facing. His gaze swept up and down the street. There was a lot of activity outside. That was good. Everything was back to normal. At the end of the street, he could barely make out the pile of burned-out rubble that used to be the livery stable. At least nothing else burned.

  When Gustaf came to see him the day after the incident, he told August that he had banked the fire in the forge and closed up the smithy. August was thankful to have such a thoughtful brother. How could he have let petty, childish jealousy rob him of the close relationship they should have enjoyed all those years? He was thankful that God had helped them overcome that obstacle.

  Over the last few days, August often questioned his own sanity. What kind of idiot runs into a burning building? But then the memory of the agonized cry of the crazed animal rang through his head, and he answered his own question. The kind of idiot that he was, and he would do it again without a moment’s hesitation. The best thing about all that happened was that not a single animal was destroyed in the fire, or even injured.

  His mother, sister, and Anna had been taking care of him. The ice soothed his throat those first two days, and the salve that the Braxtons contributed helped his skin, even though it didn’t smell very good. The mint compresses had been the most pleasant part of the treatment. At least they hadn’t used butter or lard on him. He had been spared that indignity.

  The three women had taken turns fanning him. When one would tire, another would take her place. There hadn’t been much talking during that time. His throat hurt too much. Besides, Doc had suggested that he give his voice a rest.

  Lying there covered up to his chin with a sheet, August had loved Anna with his eyes. The only problem was that she didn’t look straight at him when she was in the room. She would sit and fan the fresh air toward him. Sometimes, she even read to him from the Bible or that book of poetry he bought her. The sound of her voice was music to his ears—and his heart. Then she would relinquish her place to his mother or sister. They never left Anna in the room alone with him more than a few minutes.

  Why was Anna so aloof?

  “What are you doing up?” Gerda tried to help August back to bed, but he shook her hands off.

  “I’m not an invalid. I need to move around to keep up my strength. I’ll be going back to work soon.”

  Gerda put her hands on her hips the same way their mother often did. “Not before Doc says you can.”

  August dropped onto the side of the bed. “When is he coming again?”

  “Later today, I think.” Gerda sat in the chair beside him.

  “Good. Is Anna working at the Dress Emporium right now?”

  He didn’t like the look in Gerda’s eyes when she answered. “Why do you want to know where Anna is?”

  August got up again and walked back to the window. He leaned his left arm against the facing and studied the street again. He didn’t want Gerda to read anything in his expression. “I need to talk to you about her.”

  When he turned back around, Gerda had crossed her arms. “I’m listening.”

  After August told Gerda how aloof Anna had been, he asked her if she knew of anything he had done to make Anna mad or to hurt her. At first, he thought Gerda wasn’t going to answer. She just sat there. Then she bowed her head, and he knew she was praying. He decided to pray, too.

  After a period of silent contemplation, Gerda started telling August how worried she was about Anna. She finished by telling him that Anna thought something was wrong with her that kept a man from loving her enough.

  “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. There’s nothing wrong with Anna.”

  “I told her that, but I don’t think she believed me, even though I shared Scriptures with her about how special God had created her. At first, I thought she understood, but now I’m not so sure.”

  That gave August something to think about. When Gerda left to start dinner, he kept mulling over what she had said. He picked up his Bible and asked God to show him how he could help Anna. He was more determined than ever to marry her.

  Fourteen

  When Dr. Bradley came to check on August later that day, he found him sitting in the rocking chair in the parlor of the apartment.

  “Doc, I want to go home.” August got up and walked toward the door. “And I want to go back to work.”

  The doctor didn’t even examine August this time. He turned toward Ingrid, who had opened the door, and smiled. “I think he’s ready.”

  She nodded and took hold of August’s arm with both hands. “I believe you’re right.” She smiled up at him. “You can’t keep a Nilsson man down very long.”

  August knew that it was probably too late in the day to get much work done. It would take too long to get the forge hot enough. He would start early the next morning. After gathering up all his belongings that had made their way into the apartment, he headed toward the boardinghouse. In one way, he was glad to be out of that apartment. It had almost seemed like a prison to him. But in another way, he would miss seeing Anna so often. He would have to work on ways to accomplish that.

  On the way home, he noticed a poster on the front window of the mercantile. The first barn dance of the summer would be Saturday night. Anna liked to dance, so he would ask her to let him escort her to the festivity. He whistled a happy tune the rest of the way to his room.

  The next day was Friday, and August only worked until noon. He didn’t have many things on his table to finish. As soon as people realized that he was open again, that would change. But he was glad to be able to quit after only five hours. It would take him a little while to build back to his original strength.

  After closing the smithy, he went over to the Dress Emporium. Gerda and Anna were in the shop when he arrived.

  “How are my two favorite girls today?”

  Both of them looked up from their individual tasks when they heard his voice. By their expressions, he could tell that Gerda was glad to see her brother. Anna was a little wary of him. That was all right.

  “I came to ask if I could take the two of you to lunch at the hotel. I want to thank you for the use of your apartment.”

  Anna was quick to answer. “Oh, you don’t have to thank us for that.”

  “I know.” August smiled straight into her eyes. “I want to. Please let me do this for you.”

  ❧

  Anna couldn’t look away from the pull of August’s intense gaze. What was it about this man? Everything about him interested her. Those eyes that sometimes looked cloudy and gray were as blue as Lake Ripley. If she wasn’t careful, she could drown in their depths. She was glad when he finally looked at his sister, wasn’t she?

  “What do you say?” he asked.

  Anna glanced at Gerda, who was smiling. Anna was trying to think of a kind way to turn him down when she heard Gerda accept for both of them. How could she? Being with August was dangerous to Anna’s peace of mind.

  When they arrived at the hotel, they were shown to a table by the window. Tantalizing aromas caused Anna’s stomach to growl. She was mortified. Now she wished she had eaten a good breakfast. She glanced up and caught a twinkle in August’s eyes.

  “It’s a good thing I came along when I did.” He laughed. “I rescued you from dying of hunger.”

  Anna joined his laughter. The rest of the meal was spent in pleasant banter as they consumed the delicious food. While he escorted them back to the store, A
nna realized that she had more fun at lunch than she had experienced in a long time.

  After they unlocked the door to the Dress Emporium, Gerda hurried through the shop and opened the door that connected to the mercantile. Then she went into the workroom, leaving Anna and August alone in the display room. Anna started straightening the accessories on the sideboard by the outside wall. She kept her back to August, but she was totally aware of him.

  “Thank you for lunch.”

  When he spoke, his voice came from close behind her. “You’re welcome, Anna.”

  She liked the way he said her name. It sounded different from the way anyone else had ever said it. As if her name was special. She wanted to turn toward him so she could see the expression on his face. But she was afraid to. He was standing much too close.

  “I want to ask you something.”

  The words sounded husky, almost intimate. She wanted to shake that thought out of her head, but if she did, he might think she didn’t want him to ask his question.

  “What is it, August?” She almost couldn’t get the words out.

  He stepped back a little, so she turned toward him. He slid his hands into the front pockets of his trousers. She wondered if he was trying to hide his hands. What a silly thought!

  “There’s a barn dance tomorrow night. Are you going?”

  Anna looked up into August’s face, studying his expression. “I hadn’t planned on it.”

  He shuffled his feet, as if he was nervous. “I want to go, but not alone. Maybe you could go with me. I know how much you like barn dances.” Finally, he smiled.

  She had always liked parties. All kinds of parties. She loved being around people, and it had been a long time since she felt like going to a party. Maybe it was time to go again.

  “It’s okay, Anna. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” His voice sounded tender.

  “But I do want to go. Thank you for asking me. You’re a good friend.”

  ❧

  A good friend. Anna had called him a good friend. That was nice, but August wanted so much more than friendship from her. August paced across his room at the boardinghouse and leaned one hand on the window frame. He stared out the window and watched birds flit around in the tops of the trees across the street. Had he only heard what he wanted to when he asked God if Anna was the woman he should share his life with? He was glad that he had time before the party to ask Him once again. After praying a few minutes, he listened very carefully for God’s answer. Just as it happened before, he felt that God was telling him yes. So he asked God how to reach her with his love.

  It was too bad that the livery stable had burned down. He wanted to rent a nice buggy to take her to the dance. Instead, he had to borrow a vehicle from his brother. Since Gustaf and Olina were also going to the party, they would be using the buggy. So August borrowed the farm wagon.

  Before he picked up Anna, he cleaned the wagon as much as he could. He put one of the quilts his mother had given him on the seat to pad it for Anna. He wanted her to be comfortable on the hard wooden bench. He planned to be especially attentive to her at the party. He would look for ways to show his affection for her.

  ❧

  The ride out to the Madsens’ farm, where the dance was being held, was pleasant. August kept up a lively conversation with Anna. That in itself was surprising. He was the quiet Nilsson brother, but since he had been coming to the dress shop often, he had been talking more around Anna. She was surprised that she enjoyed the ride so much. Of course the padded seat helped. August had explained about wanting a buggy, and she was impressed by his thoughtfulness. He was a nice man. No wonder her heart was filled with strong emotions toward him. It would be so easy to love him completely, but there was still that question in her mind.

  They arrived at the large barn, which was overflowing with the light of the many lanterns hung around the walls, and anticipation filled Anna’s heart. It had been too long since she had been to a dance. The musicians were already playing. There were two fiddlers, a banjo player, and one man played a harmonica. A square dance was starting. August pulled Anna into a square that was forming at one end of the barn.

  It didn’t take long for them to catch up with the other dancers. They moved through the intricate patterns shouted out by the caller. Every time August held her in his arms for a twirl, it seemed to Anna as if he held her a little tighter than anyone else did. When that set was over, Anna felt breathless. . .and warm.

  “Let me get you some cider,” August whispered in her ear.

  He left her sitting on a bale of hay and quickly returned with two cups of the cool liquid. When he sat beside her, their shoulders rested against each other. She liked the feeling of him next to her. A wall of strength. The faint scent of bay rum filled the air and mingled with the aromas of hay, food, and cider.

  Before long another farmer asked Anna to be his partner. When she looked at August, he nodded. While that set of square dances continued, Anna often glanced at August. Every time she saw him, he was watching her every move. She thought he would dance with someone else, but he didn’t.

  The next song was a waltz, and August claimed Anna as his partner. Although they only touched in three places—his hand on the back of her waist, her hand resting on his shoulder, and their other hands clasped—she felt a strong connection between them. For a large man, he moved with a grace that not many men had. He led her smoothly around the floor. She felt as if she were floating on air. Too soon the song ended, and another farmer asked her to share a square dance with him.

  As before, August didn’t dance with anyone. He sat on a bale of hay and sipped a cup of cider, never taking his eyes from her. Why didn’t he dance with someone else, or at least go talk to some other men?

  This pattern continued for most of the evening. August danced with Anna about half the time. He asked for all the waltzes and the lively polkas. When they were getting refreshments, he never left her side. While they were together off the dance floor, he carried on conversations with her. But when they waltzed, he whirled her across the floor and seemed to be communicating something to her with his eyes. She wasn’t sure what it was.

  The only part of the evening that was uncomfortable was when she was with another man. August always agreed to share her company, but while she danced with someone else, he stared at her. The longer this went on, the more Anna’s memories of another party surfaced. The evening Gustaf told her he only wanted to be her friend. August had stared at her that night, too. Finally, Anna had all she could take.

  ❧

  August knew something was bothering Anna when she stalked across the floor toward him. She was not smiling. He didn’t want everyone to hear whatever she had to say to him.

  He stood when she got close. “How about taking a walk in the cool night air with me?”

  Anna seemed surprised, but she agreed. He held out his arm. When she rested her hand in the crook, he led her out the door and across the barnyard to a bench that sat under a spreading maple tree. Moonlight illuminated the area, but they were hidden in the shadows. Across the fence that surrounded the pasture, a cow lay in the tall grass. Her calf snuggled close to her, and they were both asleep.

  “What’s bothering you, my Anna?”

  For a moment, the silence was broken only by sounds of the night. In the distance, bullfrogs croaked, and a cow lowed in the pasture. August could tell by the expression on Anna’s face that she was surprised by what he said.

  She ignored the name he called her and answered the question with one of her own. “Why were you staring at me all evening?”

  August was glad that she had been watching him, too. “Ah, Anna, I couldn’t help it. Your loveliness is breathtaking.”

  The comment seemed to make Anna speechless. Then she said, “But you didn’t answer my question.”

  August tried to ignore the excitement that was building inside him. Anna looked down at her hands, which were clasped in her lap. He placed his hand over he
rs. Above them, the leaves fluttered in the soft breeze, making a whispering sound as they touched.

  She turned to look at him. “I was remembering another party when you watched me all evening, too.”

  He smiled. “And when was that? I’ve watched you at many parties.”

  Anna gasped and started to pull her hands out from under his. “It was the night that Gustaf took me home the last time. He told me that he only wanted to be friends.”

  He slid his arm across her shoulders and searched her face, trying to read her emotions. “And that made you unhappy, didn’t it?”

  “I loved him. . .and thought he loved me.” The words were so quiet that August almost missed them.

  Footsteps crunched along the gravel walkway. He glanced to see who was coming, but the person continued on to the house without noticing them under the tree.

  “Are you still upset about that night?” August pulled her closer and settled her head against his shoulder. “Later you did plan to marry Olaf.”

  Anna relaxed in his embrace. “I still love Gustaf, but more like a brother. I know Olina is the woman for him.”

  August rested his chin on her head, inhaling the sweet fragrance of her hair. He wished he could stay here with her forever.

  “Olaf didn’t love me enough.”

  “He wasn’t the man for you either.” August paused, then continued. “Anna, I would like to court you.”

  Anna was surprised when August said that. Wasn’t he only a friend? Oh, her feelings for him were strong and deep, but were they enough? And would his feelings continue if they courted?

  “I’m afraid.”

  He pulled away and looked at her. “You, Anna? You’re strong and fearless.”

  “But not in the ways of love.”

  He laughed. “You are a delight to me. Ja, that’s for sure.”

  She was confused. “Why do you say that?”

  “I’ve been praying about a relationship with you. I want to tell you what the Lord showed me about you.” He turned to face her. He took both her hands in his and looked straight in her eyes. “ ‘Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.’ That’s the verse God showed me for you. You know that in the Bible it talks about spots and blemishes. This verse tells me there is not a single blemish in you. You are perfect the way God made you.”