Nikki's Secret

by William Malmborg

It was his turn to ask, “Why?”

  “Because, you pretended to be a girl online. You talked to guys about having sex with you while they thought you were a girl all so you could get money. You – “

  “So what, thousands of girls make a living doing this. Why can’t I do the same?”

  “But . . .“ she started. Nothing followed, probably because she realized the truth of what he said.

  “In fact, if you think about it, the only difference between me and them is that I had to hire someone so I could have pictures. They just use their own body.”

  “I don’t even know what to say. How would you even think something like this up?”

  “It just kind of hit me one day after I clicked on a Join Our Affiliate Program link at the bottom of a site. At first I figured I could create a blog as if it were a character from one of my books and share made up sex stories in hopes that people would join the porn sites. A few days later I discovered the Adult Friend Finder affiliate program. It all kind of came together after that.”

  “And this girl?” Kimberly asked. “What’s her story?”

  “Nicole? I went out to eat one night and she was the waitress. I thought she was really pretty and simply asked if she would be interested in modeling for me for extra money.”

  “Just like that? You just randomly asked a stranger if she would take off her clothes for you and she said yes?”

  “Yep. Believe it or not finding girls to do this isn’t that hard, especially in a college town. I could probably make a killing in the amateur porn field here. All I’d have to do is walk by Northern everyday asking girls if they wanted to make a couple hundred bucks.”

  “Unbelievable.”

  Bill didn’t know what else to say, nor did he know how to answer the next question that left Kimberly’s lips, one that asked if he knew who was responsible for her harassment.

  “And don’t tell me it isn’t connected to this,” she warned after he stayed silent.

  “Okay, I’ll admit, I don’t see how it couldn’t be connected. That said, I honestly don’t know how someone could have made a connection between the blog and you, especially after all this time.”

  “Nothing like this ever happened before?”

  “No, never.”

  “You still should have told me about this. After last night, once you realized someone thought I was this Nikki girl you created, you should have said something.”

  “I know, but . . . well . . . what’s done is done.” And it’s not like it would have made much of a difference, he silently added, but didn’t dare say, not when he knew he was in the wrong.

  “So you really don’t have any idea who it could be that’s doing this?”

  “No,” he said. “And believe me; I’ve been thinking about that quite a bit today. I even called Nicole to see if she had any idea, which she didn’t. It just . . . I don’t know, it doesn’t make any sense really because if someone was able to figure out the address you’d think they would have also figured out it was me.”

  “Unless they figured out the address, but not a name to go with it and then after seeing me around just assumed I was Nikki.”

  “Maybe,” he admitted. “But . . .” he started. Nothing followed.

  “But what?” she asked.

  “Oh, nothing.” Her suggestion made sense, yet for some reason he didn’t think it fit. More was going on here than met the eye. Unfortunately, simply thinking about it and talking about it wouldn’t produce an answer. Nope. In order to understand this situation they were going to have to confront the person responsible and hear what they had to say. Of course, once that point was reached it would most likely also mark the end of this entire ordeal. The question was what would happen between now and then? Though he didn’t want to say it to her, he had a feeling things were going to get ugly. People didn’t knock out motion sensor lights just so they could leave pictures on doors without being noticed. Hell, just leaving the type of pictures that had been left was extreme and meant things would probably escalate. Had it only happened once, then maybe that would have been it – a statement someone wanted to get off their chest. But leaving some on the door, and at the restaurant, and on the car . . . that meant someone was going to a lot of trouble; more than was needed for a simple message.

  20

  Anger laced frustration made it impossible for Kimberly to even contemplate sleep, so rather than attempting it she stayed at her computer exploring the blog that Bill had created, her mind still barely able to comprehend the fact that he would do something like this. It seemed too perverted; too twisted. Even for someone who made a living writing horror tales. Adding to her mental dilemma was how normal he had seemed once she had interacted with him a few times. A little quiet, but still normal. Also, why would a girl go along with doing this? Had it been purely for money or had she enjoyed herself? Kimberly was looking at an explicit picture of Nicole giving a blowjob while wondering about this, a blog post titled “The Joys of Sucking Cock” having been written with it. A smiling face covered in semen ended the blog post, along with a statement that read: If you would like to help me with another post like this please follow the link below and send me an email. Naturally, the link below was to the NIU_Nikki profile on Adult Friend Finder.

  Sex sells, she silently muttered.

  She then wondered how many guys had followed the link and signed up with hopes of actually getting to be in a picture like this.

  And how many of them would be angry after learning they had been tricked into laying down thirty bucks for a membership once it became clear that Nikki wasn’t going to reply?

  Guys like Mark.

  Guys who are now being told you are her and how to find you.

  The thought made her shiver.

  Disgust then followed as she suddenly acknowledged that the penis in the picture probably belonged to Bill. Of course, deep down she had known this all along when seeing the picture -- and others like it on the blog -- but hadn’t really thought about it until now.

  It wasn’t an image she wanted to possess, yet sadly, she knew she would probably see it in her mind every time she talked to him now. And talk to him she would because despite her anger toward him for not sharing information about this blog earlier, she knew she would still have to interact with him in the coming days as more events unfolded.

  A yawn struck.

  Though tired, going to bed was still not an option. If anything she would spend another night on the couch watching TV, her mind needing the distraction from her thoughts.

  On cue, she heard the theme for The X-Files upstairs. Bill seemed to watch it every night.

  Has she replied?

  The question was directed toward the NIU_Nikki profile. Earlier she had asked about her own schedule at Steak and Shake. A good chunk of time had passed since then, though not as much as it felt like should have passed – it wasn’t even midnight yet. Enough for the person to have replied with something if she (or he) was the type that lived on their computer when at home.

  Keeping the blog in one tab since she would be looking at it some more, she opened the OK Cupid site in a new tab and logged in. A message was waiting. It was from NIU_Nikki. In it her work schedule for the next week was laid out.

  Saturday, August 20, 2011

  1

  Staring at the laptop screen, exhausted and unable to write for the second day in a row, Bill feared a case of writer’s block was setting in. The Nikki situation was to blame. The stress from that, brought about by the constant thoughts and concerns that would not go away, made it so his mind couldn’t focus on anything. Even reading, once he gave up on his writing, seemed a challenge. His eyes would see the words on the page, and would send the meaning of their layout to his brain, but after that nothing would be retained. A scene would come and go without leaving any impression on him and finally, after about ten pages, he gave up.

  Without reading and writing, his apartment was pretty dull. Sure, he had a DVD player, but nothing
that he owned was appealing, especially not during the morning hours. Just sitting down to watch a movie while his laptop was in his peripheral vision would be too much for him to deal with, the knowledge that he had failed in his writing that day a constant layer of guilt.

  He had to get out.

  He also desperately wanted to talk to Kimberly and reassure her that his creation of the Nikki blog had been for money and nothing else. Some of this had been conveyed to her the night before, but given everything that had occurred between her finding the pictures at work and discovering the blog, he doubted she had processed much of what he had said.

  Why do you care what she thinks?

  No answer followed.

  With the exception of his junior high school years, Bill had never put much concern into the impression others had of him, mostly because he doubted there were many that spent much time even thinking about him. With Kimberly, however, he really didn’t like the idea that she might see him as a pervert that got off on making guys think he was a girl. If she thought he was a creep for setting up the blog that was fine, he could live with that. But thinking he actually enjoyed what he had done, that was a whole other thing.

  Well, you enjoyed taking the pictures and making the videos with Nicole.

  Yeah, but what guy wouldn’t?

  You also enjoyed some of the conversations you had with the guys.

  Yeah, but only because I pictured myself doing the things we were talking about to Nikki.

  Yeah, well –

  He forced his mind to focus itself elsewhere, a final inner statement on how, if he truly enjoyed teasing men online as if he were a girl, he would have still been doing it regardless of how much money he was making with his novels.

  After that, a debate on whether or not it would be a good idea to ask Kimberly if she wanted to get some breakfast and talk appeared. Naturally, doubts followed, most of them spewed forth by the part of his mind that loved to torment him with all his shortcomings and failures – especially those that revolved around the female side of humanity. Maintaining a relationship with a girl had never been a strong skill with him. Getting sex from women wasn’t a problem; he almost never failed at that when the desire struck him, but the entire dating thing, nope. When in such a situation he became as pathetic as the men that usually wanted to fuck Nikki, his insecurities plastered all over his statements and actions. It was sad.

  Go on, just ask her.

  Bill nodded his head as if it was needed to make the voice inside understand that he would do as suggested, and then, after changing out of his pajama pants and into some jeans, headed down and around to the front door.

  Not long after that, Kimberly and he were in his car heading toward The Junction for breakfast. Neither said much during the ride, and, knowing it would probably be annoying, Bill resisted pointing out interesting things along the way.

  2

  “Okay, I see now,” Kimberly said while looking up at the electric train that circled the establishment near the ceiling. “This place used to be a railroad junction and now it is a restaurant, right?”

  “Um, it may have been,” Bill said. “Or they just called it The Junction because it sits next to the tracks. I don’t know, I never really looked into it.”

  “Oh.”

  “I just like the atmosphere and the food. Beats sitting down in an Ihop or Denny’s. It doesn’t matter what part of the country you’re in, you sit down in one of those and it will pretty much be the same as whichever one is closest to your home.”

  “Hmm, I never really thought about that.” A yawn followed, her hand automatically going up to block it from view.

  “You get any sleep last night?” Bill asked.

  “Some,” she said.

  “Yeah, same here.” He hesitated. “I felt bad about not telling you about the blog and it made me toss and turn all night.”

  “Water under the bridge,” she said with a wave of the hand.

  “I guess I was kind of in denial that the two could even be connected, but then when I saw the pictures on the profile you showed me, I should have said something.”

  “Well, what’s done is done.” She really didn’t want to talk about this, not when the anger about his deception was still smoldering beneath the surface. “Let’s focus on figuring out what the next step should be. I’ve made contact with the Nikki profile on the OK Cupid site and Mark, the guy with the flowers the other day, he has made it look like him and I are getting together tonight.”

  “Why’d he do that?”

  “I’m not really sure,” she admitted. “I guess he’s trying to gage her reaction and maybe see if she does something irrational because of it.”

  “Um . . . okay.”

  The waitress came by to fill their coffee cups and then promised to come back for their meal orders shortly.

  “I just wish he had told me he was going to do this because he has now told Nikki that we are getting together tonight at . . . well, here actually.”

  “Are you?” he asked while adding sugar to his cup. “Meeting him tonight, I mean.”

  “No, I can’t.” She added her own sugar. “I have to . . . oh crap!”

  “What?”

  “Last night she sent me my work schedule for the next week in hopes that I would start hanging out there and freaking myself out – you know, because she thinks I’m a guy on OK Cupid.”

  “Okay . . .” he carefully sipped some coffee while waiting for more.

  “But Mark told her that I told him we could get together tonight.”

  Bill nodded, but didn’t reply.

  “She’ll know he’s lying about us getting together if she knows my schedule.” She expected to see a ‘holy crap, that’s not good’ look appear on his face, but it went unchanged.

  “So?”

  “She’ll get suspicious and realize he is jerking her around, won’t she?”

  “Not necessarily,” Bill said. “She might just think you’re jerking him around and then will somehow play it up if he messages her about it. After all, that’s what my Nikki would have done to someone like him, and I’m guessing this person is doing all this because they are pissed about it having happened to them.”

  “Would someone really do that?” she asked. “After already knowing how much it hurts to be teased and jerked around like that?”

  “Happens all the time; the abused become the abusers.” He shrugged. “There is a mindset among some that having been on the receiving end of something justifies them being able to then dish it out in return. Kind of like a spouse that feels it’s okay to cheat since they caught the other doing it, or something to that extent.”

  “Did something like that happen to you? Is that why you felt it okay to jerk guys around with your own female character?”

  “What, me?” He shook his head. “No, not at all. Like I said last night, I just needed money. Also, it took a while before it turned into what you saw. At first, I just started the blog as a female character. I put up all the ads and links to the different sites I could make money from, and just hoped that by writing sex stories from Nikki’s point of view that men would then be drawn to those sites and sign up. As money grew tighter and tighter I started trying to subtly direct them that way and then, when things got really tight and it looked like I might lose my apartment, I started telling guys to join the site so they could talk to me and try to hook up for sex.”

  “Why didn’t you just try and get a real job?” She knew the question was leading down a path that could cause some unwanted tension, but asked it anyway.

  “In my opinion I had a real job. I mean, I was making money and when the time comes I will be paying taxes on it, so . . . “ he held his hands up “. . . but to answer your question the way you’d like, I actually did try to get a ‘real job’ and must have filled out a hundred applications. Every day I would walk around all the different business areas in Sycamore and DeKalb seeing if I could get an interview without any luck. I even paid entry fe
es for job fairs at NIU and went to the free ones at Kish and never even got a bite. No callbacks, no interviews scheduled, nothing. It was very frustrating.”

  Kimberly couldn’t relate to that, which led to some disbelief on how hard he had tried. After all, she had gotten a job without much trouble once she started looking. “You ever apply at Steak and Shake? I pretty much walked in and got the job.”

  “Four times; twice when they had a Now Hiring display too.” He sighed. “I don’t know, there must be a mark against me or something that I don’t know about, because even I find it difficult to think that no one would even ask for an interview.”

  With that the waitress came by to take their order, which, naturally, made Kimberly aware of the fact that she hadn’t even opened the menu. “You go first,” she suggested to Bill.

  He ordered a standard ‘two eggs over easy’ breakfast with hash browns, bacon, and toast.

  “I’ll have the same, but with pancakes if that’s okay,” Kimberly said and handed the menu over.

  “Okay, one with toast, one with pancakes,” the waitress said while looking at her order pad. She then looked up at them and smiled and, before heading to the kitchen, added, “I’ll have that out in a jiffy and some fresh coffee.”

  At the table silence settled.

  Unsure what to say, Kimberly once again looked up at the electric train and watched as it went through a small cutout in the wall. She then looked back at Bill, a question having occurred. “So, do you really think this could be someone who you talked to that got pissed off that you, as Nikki, never followed through with what was talked about?”

  “I can’t really think of anything else it could be. My only question now is how in the world did they learn the address?” He took a large swig of coffee after that, probably because he eyed the waitress returning with the pot.

  “You don’t think someone could have hacked the site and learned the address that way, do you -- like through the IP address or something?” She choked down some of her own coffee as well, and vowed to add a bit more cream to it on the next pass. “After all, wasn’t everyone in the house using the same Internet when you were doing all this, therefore the main house address would have been uncovered?