Arise (Cruel and Beautiful World Book 3)

by L. Stoddard Hancock

  The woman studied her.

  “I helped Deryn escape. I’m not going to hurt you and neither is he,” said Finley.

  The woman nodded and hiccupped.

  “What’s your name?”

  “Miki,” she answered. “Is ... has Ulric been ...”

  “No one is scheduled to be executed today.”

  “Yes, the president seems to have other things on his mind,” said Atticus.

  “Speaking of which, we need to talk.” Finley walked over to him and took a seat in the chair opposite his desk. “The president requested an audience with me this morning.”

  Atticus lifted his eyes. Noticing her serious expression, he put his journal aside and leaned forward. “Regarding?”

  “A couple of things. First, he requested I assist him in testing out a new form of torture he’s having developed. The test subject was my father. His punishment for failing to retrieve the Outsider who got away.”

  Miki whimpered. “Thank god.”

  “And how did it go?” asked Atticus.

  Finley paused, her eyes going blank as she pictured her father foaming at the mouth. He had looked so terrified. What in god’s name had he witnessed?

  “Not well,” she said, unable to hide the pain in her voice. “He’s alive and functional but has completely lost his sanity.”

  “Meaning?”

  “There’s nothing behind his eyes, and I gave him the last shock that broke him.”

  Atticus watched her, his demeanor barely changing as he took it all in. “At least you didn’t care for him.”

  “Is that all you have to say?”

  “I doubt you came here for sympathy. Stuart was a complication and now he’s out of our way. This is a blessing and you shouldn’t feel guilty about that.”

  Finley frowned. She supposed he was right. Her father was a terrible human and the world was better off without him. But death would have been so much easier.

  “And what is the other thing the president spoke to you about?” asked Atticus.

  Finley leaned back in our chair, her cheeks puffing before she blew out a long stream of breath. Perhaps this was even more terrifying than driving her own father to insanity.

  “He wants me to be his son’s mother.”

  The air was sucked out of the room, both Miki and Atticus holding completely still.

  Eventually, Atticus cocked an eyebrow. He looked so similar to Xander when he did that. “Come again?”

  “He fears his wife may have instilled too much of herself in his son, so he’s hoping to erase her from his memory completely. He thinks another mother is the solution,” said Finley.

  “So he wants you to take and raise his son?”

  “Oh no. He wants me to marry him and we’ll raise his son together.”

  Atticus’s mouth dropped slightly. “Why -”

  “Why me?” she finished. “Because, as he sees it, Lona and I are his only options and, while she’s the prettier one, he feels I would annoy him less in the long run.”

  “How romantic,” said Miki, completely engrossed in their conversation.

  “That’s what I said!” Finley was glad she wasn’t alone in her feelings on that terrible proposal.

  “And what was your answer?” asked Atticus.

  “I haven’t given one yet. He’s giving me the day to think about it and said I should first talk it over with my lover.”

  “Your love ...” Atticus paused, noticing that she was looking at him with mild amusement. “You have got to be joking.”

  “He’s had his guards follow my movements through security footage and they noted our time spent at each other’s residences. I didn’t understand why he gave me the option to discuss it with you but, now that I see you’ve taken a slave, I assume he wanted to ignite some sort of ‘lovers’ quarrel’.”

  Atticus glanced at Miki. “I do suppose he gave her to me too easily.”

  “So here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to leave angry in about five minutes, and I’m not coming back,” explained Finley. “You are not to come to me under any circumstances. If we have news to share we will be clever about it. Understood?”

  Atticus’s jaw clenched. He didn’t like being told what to do. “And what are you going to tell the president?”

  “I’m going to tell him my answer is yes. After all, any great admirer of his would be flattered.”

  “You can’t -”

  “No, what I can’t do is say no. We both know it’s true. If I do I’ll end up dead or, worse, like my father.”

  Atticus couldn’t argue. “And if he wants to consummate it?”

  “I’ll demand a wedding first,” said Finley. “He’s too distracted with Xander at the moment to arrange such an event.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “No,” she answered honestly. “But I can hope.” She stood up and headed for the door. “If you leave do not put Miki in the cellar. Once Wenton discovers you took her for yourself, I imagine he’ll come looking for her. Make sure she has a way to defend herself.” She looked over her shoulder and glanced at Miki. “And no more whiskey. Eat something.”

  Miki nodded slowly.

  Finley left them. She gave Ezra one last smile before leaving that house forever.

  Once she was outside, it was fairly easy to feign anger. All she had to do was imagine President Saevus stomping on his wife’s face, chopping off her dead head, whipping Xander, torturing her father’s mind, intentionally messing with hers, finding pleasure in things that should have torn his soul apart.

  There was no way she would ever consummate a relationship with that monster. She would sooner stab a knife through his heart, or hers. Whichever opportunity presented itself first.

  CHAPTER 39

  Xander couldn’t concentrate at all that day. Nita had offered to cover his kitchen duties, but she’d been doing that so often lately and he didn’t want to burden her. She deserved her day off.

  Still, he wasn’t much use there. It was dinnertime and he was trying to cook asparagus, but he kept losing focus and burning them instead.

  Xander couldn’t stop thinking about Del. She had always been so kind to him. Like a second mother.

  As the asparagus sizzled, someone reached over him to pull the skillet off of the burner.

  “Another one bites the dust.” Evangeline laughed. “Really, Xander, you don’t need to be here. You’ve had a rough day and I’m more than happy to cover for you.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “But you’re not.”

  Xander’s nostrils flared and he turned away. Giving up on the asparagus, he grabbed a head of lettuce. It would just have to be a salad night.

  “Neither are you,” he said. “You were close to Del too.”

  Evangeline was taken aback. “How do you know -”

  “Because I knew her and she would’ve liked you.”

  She smiled softly. “She was a kindhearted woman, despite her upbringing. Just like you.”

  “I’m not kindhearted,” he said, aggressively chopping the lettuce.

  “Yes, you are.”

  “You’re mistaken.”

  “I’m not -”

  “I killed your grandmother.”

  Evangeline froze, her eyes unblinking as she slowly turned ashen. “W-what?”

  The other people in the kitchen all turned toward them, unsure if they were supposed to keep working after a confession like that. They all silently decided to go to the pantry at the same time.

  Xander was fully aware that this might have been the worst possible time for his confession, but it had been plaguing him for so long that it just slipped out. Evangeline was always so kind to him and she deserved to know the truth.

  “You heard me,” he said, his voice cracking.

  Tears filled Evangeline’s eyes. “Which grandmother?”

  “Paternal.”

  She cast her head downwards and let the tears fall. “When?”

  “Octobe
r.”

  Her shoulders bobbed. “That recently?”

  “Yes,” he said weakly. “I’m sor -”

  Evangeline’s head shot back up. “Don’t,” she said sternly. “Don’t you dare apologize until you tell me how.”

  Xander blinked. “You want me to tell you how?”

  “Yes, because there is a difference between following orders and killing someone in cold blood.”

  Xander was stunned. He’d never been given the benefit of the doubt before by anyone but Deryn, and even she hadn’t given it to him until she’d begun to fall for him.

  So Xander leaned against the counter, took a deep breath, and told Evangeline everything.

  He told her how her grandmother Anna was a slave in the slave trade and how she was the one to give Deryn the knife she’d used to escape. How Anna had eventually been ratted out by another slave and, after hours of torture, she’d still refused to tell them anything.

  He told her how he’d killed her, using the knife handed to him by Elvira. And then he told Evangeline her grandmother’s last words.

  “I’m not afraid,” said Xander, the strength of them always clinging to his mind, especially in his darkest moments. “I couldn’t imagine not being afraid.”

  “My grandmother was a strong woman. She understood that death is not the end. Her soul lives on through us, through the world, through the universe.”

  “The universe?” asked Xander.

  Evangeline smiled softly. “You haven’t been an Outsider for very long. One of these days you need to stop in the forest and just listen. Countless souls are alive out there, speaking to us, healing us.”

  “And you hear these people talking to you?” He held back a laugh.

  “Not in the traditional sense, but they do speak. When you listen, you’ll understand.” Evangeline gripped his chin. “Like my grandmother, I read souls and yours is good, Xander Ruby.”

  A shiver ran through Xander as he realized this was exactly what Anna had said. There was so much of her in Evangeline that maybe it was true. Even in death, her soul lived on. And in her granddaughter that soul was fire.

  Evangeline released his chin but continued to stare at him. “You said you made it quick and I believe you. It was a direct order and you did what you had to do. You had yourself and Deryn to protect. You need to stop punishing yourself for things that were out of your control.”

  Xander’s eyes fell. “Not everything was out of my control.”

  “And you think everyone here is innocent?” She scoffed. “There’s no good and evil in war, just a big mess of tattered souls swirling around each other.”

  “Shades of gray,” he said, immediately thinking of Luka.

  “Exactly.”

  Xander nodded. “Luka Voclain knew your grandmother well. He’s like me, a Guardian who hates what he does. When this is all over you should speak to him.”

  “Really?” she said, looking surprised.

  “Her cottage pie was his favorite.”

  Evangeline smiled. “That was my favorite, too.”

  As Xander looked at Evangeline, the only person he knew incapable of hatred, a weight lifted off of him.

  She smiled at him, a sad but friendly smile, and he did his best to smile back.

  “Get back to your damn salad. People need their vegetables.”

  Xander nodded and returned to his chopping. He owed the Bellamy family a huge debt of gratitude. He wondered how might it ever be fulfilled?

  • • •

  That evening, the eleven Resistance members learning to use gravpacks, as well as Talon, accompanied Sam and April to their ship. They wanted to pick up the rest of the packs so everyone could have more practice.

  April had ordered Deryn to wear one of the gravpacks there and back while she wore the other one, since they’d missed their workout that morning.

  “People die every day,” she’d said in that cold, detached April way.

  Deryn knew it was just an act. She’d spent enough time with April to notice that she did, in fact, have feelings. She just chose not to express them. Making light of death was simply her way of being comforting.

  And, to her credit, it had worked.

  Deryn definitely wasn’t thinking about Del and Anan. Her mind was engulfed with the pain she was feeling from carrying the damn gravpack. April wasn’t bothered at all by the extra weight.

  Xander was forbidden to walk beside Deryn since April hadn’t believed him when he said he wouldn’t help her. So he just laughed and looked back at Deryn every couple of steps.

  “You’re falling behind, vixen!” Sam called from the front of the line.

  Deryn growled and gave him the finger. Unfortunately, when she released the pack’s straps to do that, it threw her off balance and she fell backwards.

  Dakota turned at the sound and was just about to help her when April called, “The turtle must learn to stand on its own!”

  He rolled his eyes and held out his hand.

  “I guess that means you’ll be sleeping in your own room tonight.”

  Dakota pulled back his hand before Deryn could grab it. He smiled sheepishly as she glared up at him.

  “I see where your loyalty lies,” she hissed.

  Then, taking a note from April, Deryn rolled to her side like a turtle stuck on its shell until she was able to get to her knees. From there she simply had to stand up straight with shaky legs.

  “I hate you,” she told Dakota as she walked past him.

  “Poor baby,” said Xander, walking backwards while she struggled to catch up.

  “Don’t you poor baby me, Xander Ruby. I’m doing just fine.”

  With that final burst of confidence, she charged forward, passing every last one of them until she was barreling through the trees. The beach was finally in view and she waited until her feet hit sand before collapsing.

  April approached the fallen Deryn, looking quite amused as she helped her take off the pack after removing her own.

  “Oh my god,” said Deryn, rolling onto her back. “I’m going to be feeling that tomorrow.”

  “I’m glad,” said April.

  “This is exactly why she is my dead-eyed warrior,” said Sam, plopping down beside Deryn. “So fierce.” He curved his fingers into a claw and growled seductively at April.

  April grabbed his hand and squeezed until he squealed.

  “Okay, okay! Dammit, April, don’t wound me.”

  Sam took a remote out of his pocket and pressed a button. Deryn sat up and watched the ocean as the small ship began to rise, bathed in moonlight as it flew onto the beach.

  “Aphrodite, my love!” exclaimed Sam, jumping to his feet and running toward his ship. He embraced her, smiling as he soaked himself on her wet exterior. “How I’ve missed you, my sweet, sweet girl.”

  While Sam continued to hold his one true love, April took the remote from his hands and lowered the door. She went inside and came out with two gravpacks, carrying them with ease. Deryn frowned as April handed them to everyone, no one truly struggling as they slipped them on.

  “Who wants to go for a quick ride in my ship?” asked Sam, dancing up the ramp.

  Deryn grabbed Xander’s hand and raised it high in the air.

  “A ride where?” asked Xander.

  “Who cares!” Deryn excitedly pulled him toward Aphrodite. “How many does it hold?” she asked Sam. He held up five fingers. “Neetles! Talon! You’re coming too!”

  “Yes, yes, yes!” sang Nita, skipping forward. “Come on, baby!”

  While Talon kept his cool on the surface, Deryn knew how excited he was. They’d grown up with the travel bug and this was a dream come true for them. They caught eyes and grinned at each other.

  Inside, Sam was already in the pilot’s seat. Deryn leapfrogged over Nita to get to the copilot’s seat.

  “You know, I’m not really great in small, enclosed spaces ...”

  “Xander, be quiet and enjoy this experience with me,” she said, glar
ing over her chair at him.

  “We won’t go far, little devil. If it gets to be too much just let me know and we’ll come back,” promised Sam.

  Xander nodded. He took the seat behind Deryn, trying to focus on how happy she was, bouncing in her seat.

  The door closed and the ship began to rise. Xander’s fingers dug into the edges of his seat. He held on tight as it flew just past the waves and dove into the ocean.

  Deryn squealed with excitement as a light along the perimeter of the ship flashed on, illuminating the dark ocean around them. Sam pressed a button on the control board and the ship’s interior walls flickered away, replaced with a 360-degree view of the ocean.

  Xander jumped with surprise and moved his legs so they were curled underneath him.

  “Do you need to hold my hand?” asked Nita, smiling in amusement as she held out her hand to him.

  He glowered at her. “I’m fine, thank you.”

  “Xander, look!”

  Xander followed Deryn’s extended finger and found a school of what he assumed were fish but looked more like neon green snakes swim by.

  “Do you think there are any whales nearby?” Deryn asked Sam. “I’ve never seen one up close.”

  “Aphrodite, find whales,” said Sam to no one in particular.

  Within seconds, a voice responded. “Three gray whales 2.1 kilometers southwest.”

  “Aphrodite, change course to gray whales.”

  “As you wish, Commander Knight.”

  “I love it when she calls me that,” said Sam with a smile.

  The ship turned on its own, but Sam grabbed the wheel in front of him and increased their speed.

  A deep, mesmerizing sound echoed through the black ocean as they approached. Deryn couldn’t stop smiling. She leaned forward in her seat until she was practically falling out of it.

  “I think I see them,” she said as a faint silhouette appeared in the distance.

  And then, there they were, Sam slowing the ship until it was almost at a halt. One whale was just beside them, far more graceful than anything that massive should be. The other two were above them. Everyone strained their necks to get a good view.

  “Holy fuck,” said Xander, his voice nearly a whisper as he took it all in. “Creatures like this are real?”