Come for Me

by Ford, Mia

  Or, I could stay here. I could train new squadrons and give this thing with Pippa a try. If she’ll have me of course. I don’t know how she feels about me right now. She might hate my damn guts. But she also might understand and she might still love me. There’s a chance that we could have something genuine and real. Everything that I didn’t even realize that I wanted could be about to come true.

  Oh God, what a choice. What a confusing, complex choice. Which way do I go?

  “I… I have to go,” I tell Jayden rapidly. “The train is here.”

  “Does that mean you’re still going?”

  “I don’t know.” I can hear an intense tremble in my voice as I embark upon one of the biggest decisions of my life. Savannah was definitely right about the decision affecting everything. Whatever I do next will determine so many things. I don’t even know where to begin with it all. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  I hang up the phone and stare at the train with its doors opening, inviting me in. I gulp noisily, darting my eyes towards the door and the exit, wondering which way I can go. Then I close my eyes and I act on instinct, knowing that’s the only real way. Then all becomes clear and I step…

  44

  Pippa

  I chew down on my bottom lip and pace the room, desperation racing through me. I don’t know what the hell is going on, I have no idea what will happen next when it comes to Tommy and I’m a mess. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster all day long, sobbing, trying to be strong, angry… I’ve been mad a lot. I can’t seem to stop the anger, it’s intense and far too much. I can’t seem to shake it off. All those things that Tommy said, the way he’s acted, it isn’t right. I don’t like it one bit. But I understand, he’s struggling, which is why I just want to talk about it. I want to find out where he is and speak to him.

  Ring, ring…

  I snatch up my phone rapidly, hoping and praying that this is the call that I’ve been waiting for. I’m internally begging that it’s Tommy because I really need to speak to him. It isn’t though, which is crushing me.

  “Hi, Savannah,” I say glumly. “Is everything okay? Have you heard anything yet?”

  “I have.” Her tone is sad, I already know what way this is going to go but I still need to hear it. “I’m sorry, Pippa. It isn’t good, I don’t like to tell you this but he got on the train and left.”

  My knees give way. I tumble to the ground, hitting myself hard. “He… he’s gone?”

  I clutch my hand to my chest, feeling my heart actually break. I already told myself that if he’s going to leave me again, then he’s gone forever and there isn’t a damn thing that I can I can do about it. If he doesn’t want me enough to stay, then he doesn’t want me at all. It’s time to accept that I’m just another notch.

  “Oh, right,” I rasp out. “He’s gone. I see. To go on tour?”

  “Yes. I think so.”

  “Right, okay. Well… that’s good isn’t it?” I try to bring a false brightness to my tone but it doesn’t work. “That’s good because now I know where I stand. He’s gone so we’re done, which is what I want anyway.”

  “Do you want me to come over, Pippa? Because I don’t like you being on your own.”

  “No, no.” The last thing I need is to have an audience to me falling apart. Even that of my own best friend. “I’m okay. I have a lot of work to get on with tonight anyway. I need to get some research done.”

  “Right, okay.” I’m sure that Savannah knows that I’m lying but she doesn’t call me out on it. “Well, just know that I’m here and give me a call if you need anything.”

  “Of course I will. And you call me if anything happens with that baby of yours. I don’t want to be left out.”

  “You know it’s far too soon for me to go into labor or anything, but I will, for sure.”

  As I hang up the phone, I feel depleted, emotionally drained, lost. I don’t know what to do with myself any longer. Tommy is no longer here, anywhere near, and soon he’ll be out of the country. I know that I need to be strong, that I need to just pick myself up again and carry on, but it doesn’t feel that simple.

  It doesn’t matter though, I’m going to have to try…

  * * *

  “Urgh, gross.” I wipe my hand across my mouth, removing the last remnants of sick from my face. This damn sickness has hit me at just about the worst time ever. I’m really not in the mood for it while I’m piecing myself together. I’m trying my hardest to behave normally at work while I recover from heart break, but it isn’t easy when I have to spend most of my time in the bathroom chucking my guts up. “Fuck off, virus.”

  “You in there again?” Janice yells. “Are you being sick, Pippa? I’m starting to think that you’re preggo.”

  “Pregnant?” I laugh thinly. “No, you have to have unprotected sex for that…”

  All of a sudden, the last night I was with Tommy hits me. In the heat of the moment, I don’t think either of us thought about grabbing a condom. We were stupidly wrapped up in one another, and now…

  I do some mental calculations, working out that it was nearly a month ago that we slept together and that if I really think about it, I might be a little bit late. I haven’t ever been as regular as clockwork anyway, so that alone wouldn’t trouble me but with all the other signs, maybe it is something that I need to consider…

  Shit, shit, shit.

  I push myself off the floor in a hurry and try to calm my breathing down. An ice-cold dart of panic races through my body, one that I need to shut up before it consumes me whole. It isn’t possible. I mean, I know that it is logically possible, but I just don’t want it to be real. I can’t be having Tommy’s baby…

  “I have to go.” I burst out of the toilet cubical and brush past Janice in a moment of fear. “I have to get out of here, I feel too sick. Will you just tell everyone that I’m sick and I had to go home?”

  “Are you okay?” Janice calls after me. “Can I do anything to help?”

  I shake my head but I keep on running. I don’t stop because I can’t explain the emotion that’s running through me right now. I won’t be able to say anything until I have my answer in one way or another.

  God, I hope it’s just the one way. Things are complicated enough without adding this into it.

  I race from the building and head to the nearest drug-store. I grab the first test I find and continue on running to my home with the brown bag of shame clutched between my fingers. My heart thunders against my rib cage, my brain darts everywhere inside of my head, I don’t know what’s going on with my body. I’m a mess.

  “Oh my God.” In my state of shock, I don’t even drag my eyes from the floor until I run smack into someone standing right outside my home. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see… oh.” The words fall apart on my lips as I see who it is. I blink a few times, sure that I must be dreaming. This seriously can’t be happening. “Tommy?”

  “Sorry, Pippa. I know that I must have freaked you out, I didn’t mean to do that. I know that I shouldn’t have left you like that, but I needed to clear my head…” The words spill out fast, showing his nerves.

  “Tommy, I…” I think of the bag in my hand and I want to weep. “What are you doing here?”

  He steps closer to me and reaches out to take my hands but I don’t let him. I step backwards, creating distance. I might have dreamed about the happening, but now that is it, it feels far too late. His face falls, but I can’t feel too bad for him. Not when he left me the one a sobbing mess only moments before.

  “I’m sorry, Pippa. I know this must be very unexpected.”

  “It is.” My face hardens. “And to be honest, I don’t want to speak to you again.”

  “I only left because I needed to sort my head out, and my job too…”

  “I already know that you’re leaving to go on tour, so don’t worry about hurting my feelings…”

  “No, I’m not.” His words make me freeze. “I’m not going to. I’m taking the training
job so I can stay here. I want to be here with you, Pippa. I love you.”

  His words cause tears to flood behind my eyes. This is just too little too late. If he’d said this to me this morning, I would have fallen into his arms, but now I know more. I know that I might have his baby in my stomach and since he’s so desperately afraid of commitment, I can’t load this on him too.

  It’s the dream, this is everything that I want, but it’s come too late.

  “You have to go, Tommy. I can’t have you here, I’m sorry.”

  “Please, Pippa. Please understand. Give me a chance, I’m begging you.”

  “No.” I shake my head hard. “I can’t.”

  “Can’t, or won’t?”

  I stare at him angrily, daring him to defy me again, then I tug the item from the bag in my hand and I wave it at him. This will send him flying for the hills, I just know it.

  “This is a pregnancy test, Tommy, I might be having your baby. I don’t know if you remember but the last time we were together, we weren’t exactly careful. So, why don’t you do what you do best and run because I will not have you coming in and out to our baby’s life as well.”

  “A… a baby?” He looks blown away. “Oh my God!”

  45

  Tommy

  Nine months later…

  “Oh, my goodness.” Tears fill my eyes as I stare down at the most beautiful face that I’ve ever seen in my life. “She’s so beautiful. I’m so lucky. She’s all mine!”

  “Mine too,” a sweaty, sticky, very shattered Pippa pipes up. “Remember I’m the one who just gave birth.”

  I chuckle and slide a hand free so I can slip it through hers. Deciding to stay and really commit to the woman that I love wasn’t the hardest one, once I’d actually settled on my choice. It might have taken me a moment to get there, but now I’m glad. Everything I did has led to the best life ever. I’m the luckiest man alive.

  “I can’t believe we’ve had a baby girl. That’s so awesome.”

  “I just hope Savannah’s third baby is a girl too. Then there will be two of each.”

  “You think we’re stopping at one?” I laugh loudly. “I want a whole football team now.”

  “I bet you do.” Pippa rolls her eyes. “But you aren’t the one who just had to go through that.”

  “No, that’s true. But you did such an incredible job I’m sure you want to do it again.”

  I give her such a look of love and awe. I really do adore this woman, she’s become everything to me. She crept up on me slowly, she got under my skin and slipped under my veins before I even knew it. Now, I’m so grateful for it. If she didn’t, if she backed away, then I would be left with nothing now. I wouldn’t have the wonderful life that I do. Being with Pippa is honestly the happiest that I’ve ever been in my life.

  “So, what are we going to call her?” Pippa asks me quietly. “We didn’t ever decide on a name.”

  “No, I know.” I glance down at my daughter’s beautiful face again, loving every aspect of me that I can see in her, and every bit of Pippa too. Right now, she seems to be the perfect blend. “What about Sadie-Rose?”

  “Sadie-Rose? Like a double barreled name?” I nod. “Sure, I actually really love that.”

  I hand Sadie-Rose over to Pippa and reach deep into my pocket. Everyone will be coming to see us soon and I want to do this before they get here. I know this might not be the most ideal scenario for this, but it’s mostly been instinctual and this feels like more of that.

  “Pippa, there’s something that I want to ask you.” All of a sudden, I feel a thick ball of emotion lodging in my throat. I wasn’t expecting that, I thought I knew what I was doing, but now it doesn’t seem so. “If you don’t mind.” Her eyes widen in surprise, but she nods. “Erm, okay.” I pull the small ring box out of my pocket and I fall to one knee on the floor. Pippa gasps, but I don’t let that stop me. “Pippa, I love you. I… I’ve loved you for a very long time now, and for someone who said that he wouldn’t fall in love again, that’s some feat.”

  Pippa giggles, but the sound is strangled. It seems like she’s struggling with her emotions too. “Oh, my goodness.” She gulps loudly. “Are you doing what I think you are? Right here?”

  “I certainly am.” I smile brightly at her. “I know that you’ll complain that you’d much rather be dressed up for this moment, but I’m just going to tell you that you’ve never looked so beautiful. Also, you’ve just given me my daughter, so you’ve got my complete amazement.”

  Pippa grins, I can almost see the insecurity washing over her in waves. As it seeps and leaves her body she nods and I can sense her acceptance to continue. The fact that she actually wants me to ask this question after everything that we’ve been through together speaks volumes. I’ve been terrible. Over and over again, and she’s been so open and forgiving. So understanding. I truly don’t deserve her.

  “I once told you in a cowardly letter that I couldn’t give you anything, but that was because you scared me. I’ve always been frightened of how deeply I feel for you, I didn’t want to have my heart shattered again. But now I can see that you wouldn’t do that. You treat me with kindness, with love and respect, you make me happier than I ever thought possible. I will never be able to show you my gratitude for that.”

  “Oh my God,” Pippa sobs, emotions racking through her. “Tommy, that’s so sweet.”

  “I’m not done yet.” I pop the box open and watch her eyes light up as she sees the sapphire ring I have for her. It’s dark and elegant, sweet and glamorous, edgy and cute, just like her. “Pippa, I promise that I will be the best husband that I can be for you, presuming that you say yes, of course. I will do what I can to make you happy every single day. And of course, I can’t say those things to you without saying them to Sadie-Rose as well. I promise to love her with my whole being, to be the best possible father to her, to raise her with you into the happiest, most well rounded child ever. We might not seem like the ideal pairing on paper, but we really do make it work. We’ve been through thick and thin together and we’ve somehow managed to come out stronger on the other side. I want the world to know that I am yours and you are mine, that we are deeply in love and meant to last forever. I guess what I’m really trying to ask is Pippa, will you marry me?”

  A fat tear rolls down her cheek. As Pippa goes a funny shade of red I can’t help but wonder if I’ve overloaded her. After giving birth, she’s already consumed by hormones. Have I just made that a million times worse? Perhaps I should have planned some big event at another time after all…

  “Of course I will.” I gasp with relief as she puts me out of my misery. “I would love nothing more than to be your wife. Oh, Tommy, I never thought you’d ask. That sounds amazing.”

  I rise to my feet and slide the ring down over her finger. Just as I pull my gorgeous would be wife and daughter in for a delicate little hug as the door bursts open and Savannah comes in holding her own baby boy, Wyatt, followed closely behind by Jayden and Peter. They cheer with glee when they see Sadie-Rose, not even realizing that there’s more news. It takes a few moments of them cooing over our baby before we can even get a word in edgeways.

  “Guess what?” Pippa says with glee edged in her voice. “Something amazing just happened?”

  “Yeah, we know.” Savannah rolls her eyes. “You just had this little cutie. I can see that.”

  “No, no, hold on.” Jayden touches her arm. “I think they might be talking about something else.”

  “Something other than this beautiful little girl being born?”

  “Yes,” I interject. “Something more.”

  Pippa lifts up her left hand and she flashes it at her friend. “We’re getting married.”

  “Oh, thank goodness!” Savannah embraces her friend as much as she can since they’re both holding babies, and Jayden gives me a playful little punch in the arm.

  “That’s amazing news, buddy. I’m very happy for you. I knew Pippa was the one for you.”

 
“Oh, she’s the one for me alright, and I can’t wait to have her forever more. I just wish I hadn’t spent so much time fighting it when it’s so clear that she’s perfect for me. Obviously, you’ll be my best man, right?”

  “I would love nothing more.”

  As I’m surrounded by all the people I love more than anything in the world, I’m filled with an intense sense of peace. I’ve pushed people away for far too long, worn my tough outer shell when I didn’t really need to, and now I won’t ever have to do it again.

  Everything I could ever hope for is right here in the room and I’ll never run from it again.

  About the Author

  Mia is a contemporary romance writer who loves to write about strong, gorgeous, Greek God like alpha men who love protecting their sassy and sexy women.

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