Then He Kissed Me

by Maria Geraci

  Nate could smell his mother’s beef stroganoff before he even opened the front door. Charlie, the family cocker spaniel greeted him enthusiastically, barking and wagging his tail like an idiot. “Hey, boy,” Nate said, bending down to give the old dog a scratch behind the ears.

  “We’re in the kitchen!” Lanie yelled. Nate followed the smell of his mother’s cooking to the back of the house.

  Lanie immediately handed him a cold beer from the fridge. “You’re gonna need this.”

  “Oh, goodie, my not-engaged son is here.” His mom swatted him on the arm with a wooden spoon. “How come I had to go to work to find out you proposed to Jessica?”

  Nate flinched. Lanie smiled like she was enjoying herself. “I was going to surprise you,” he said, which sounded dumb, but the truth was he knew the two women in his life weren’t big fans of Jessica. It was a classic case of planning to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.

  “We’re surprised, all right,” Lanie said. “Pleasantly surprised, I might add. Next time you decide to throw yourself off a cliff, please come to me for advice first.”

  “I really had no idea you disliked her this much.”

  “That’s because I didn’t think you were serious about her. I thought you were just using her for sex.”

  “Melanie!” Mom slapped Lanie on the arm with the wooden spoon. Good. Now they were even.

  “If you’re that desperate for company, bro, you should have come to me. There’s a new litter of puppies at the shelter. Chihuahua-Dachshund mix.” She shuddered. “Extremely needy and hard to house break. Just your type.”

  Lanie was the manager at the local animal shelter and she was always trying to foist some stray dog on him. “I mean, I can certainly see what you saw in Jessica. I’d go for that myself if I knew I’d never have to see her again.”

  “Please don’t tell me we have the same taste in women,” Nate said.

  “That would imply you have taste.”

  “Knock it off, you two,” Mom said.

  “He knows I love him,” Lanie said defensively. She shook her head sadly. “Bro, your mess is all over the Internet.” She pulled out her cell phone and began finger swiping the screen until she got to YouTube.

  Mom suddenly looked worried. “Maybe we shouldn’t show him.”

  “Show me,” he said.

  “Okay, here goes.” Lanie pulled up the video and the three of them stood hunched over her phone. Like his sister said, the video was all about botched proposals. Poor sad sacks whose girlfriends had no clue they were about to get down on one knee. One proposal had gone down during halftime of an NBA basketball game. The girl ran off in front of a stunned crowd and the team mascot (a teddy bear, no less) had to drag the guy off the court. Then came the guy who talked about how he loved the way his girlfriend ate a cupcake. “Don’t worry, you’re next,” Lanie said.

  Fuck. There it was, the scene at The Harbor House playing out in front of him. He was down on one knee and he looked pale and the whole time Jessica kept the same expression on her face. At one point, the videographer had done a slow pan of the restaurant. The entire place looked mesmerized. He’d known that the tables nearby were looking on, but he had no idea everyone in the place had been watching, too. And then there was the moment when Jessica told him to get up and he still looked confused and had even offered her the ring again. Against the quiet background you could hear a man’s voice say, “What a loser!” The video then segued into the next spot that involved some poor schmuck proposing on T.V.

  “Want to see it again?” Lanie asked.

  “That’s enough, Melanie, leave your poor brother alone,” Mom said.

  “All I’m saying is that the whole thing could have been a whole lot worse,” Lanie said.

  “How?” Nate asked.

  “Jessica could have said yes.”

  *~*~*

  Three nights later, Lauren, along with the rest of the Bunco Babes, sat in Kitty Pappas’ living room watching the exact same video. It was Thursday night in Whispering Bay, which meant it was time to get down to the business of rolling dice, drinking frozen margaritas, and gossiping. Not mean spirited gossiping. It was more like the exchange of mutually needed information.

  This week’s Bunco game was being held at Kitty’s house. Kitty, along with Shea Masterson and Pilar Diaz-Rothman were the group’s founders. Kitty was recently married to Steve Pappas, part owner of Pappas-Hernandez construction, the company who’d torn down Whispering Bay’s old senior center and was now in the process of building a new state-of-the-art rec center for the whole town to enjoy. Tom worked as a construction supervisor for the company and was in charge of the big rec center project. He worked hard and had a good reputation for being fair as well as smart, and Lauren was proud of him.

  There were twelve Bunco Babes total, including Lauren’s good friend Mimi Grant, as well as Frida, from The Bistro. Lauren wasn’t a permanent member of the group, but lately, they’d been calling on her a lot to sub. Thursday night was rapidly becoming Lauren’s favorite night of the week. She loved being a mom and running her shop, but it was good to get away with the girls and enjoy some “me” time. Plus, attending Bunco was the best way to keep in tune with what was happening in Whispering Bay.

  They were at the part of the video when a man was heard exclaiming, “What a loser!” Lauren cringed when she recognized Ted’s voice. She now knew exactly what Janie the receptionist had meant when she’d told Lauren not to mention YouTube to Nate. As unfriendly as she felt at the moment toward Dr. Nathanial Miller, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. It was awful enough to have your proposal of marriage turned down. But then to have it be entertainment for the rest of the world?

  Kitty cut off the T.V. “And that, ladies, is what the whole town is talking about right now.”

  The living room exploded with a dozen different voices.

  Mimi took a sip of her margarita and shook her head. “Poor Nate Miller. He’s having a tough enough time as it is, but now this?”

  “I’m friends with his sister, Lanie, and she says that this Jessica is like the creature from the black lagoon,” Frida said.

  Shea nodded. “She’s evil looking, all right.”

  “It’s called resting bitch face,” Pilar said. “You can look it up in the urban dictionary.”

  “Just because you turn a guy down doesn’t make you a bad person,” Kitty said. “But it does seem kind of cold to just keep on eating like nothing ever happened.”

  Lauren tried to keep her voice neutral. “What do you mean, he’s having a tough enough time as it is?”

  “Everyone knows Doc’s patients aren’t too happy with him,” Mimi said. “Personally, I think Nate’s pretty terrific. When Zeke’s shoulder started acting up again, he immediately sent him to physical therapy instead of just prescribing drugs, and now Zeke feels as good as new. But, he does have a bit of a brusque manner about him.”

  Brusque was putting it nicely.

  “I was actually there for the proposal,” Lauren admitted. “That voice you hear in the background? It belongs to none other than Ted Ferguson.”

  This news was met by a resounding chorus of boos. Ted Ferguson was to Whispering Bay what Sherman was to Atlanta. Well, maybe not that bad. He hadn’t actually destroyed the city, but it wasn’t for his lack of trying.

  “I thought Ted Ferguson had crawled away into some hole to die,” Shea said. “Or was that just wishful thinking on my part?”

  “The latter,” said Pilar, who was also the city’s attorney. “He’s definitely maintained a presence in the area.” She looked at Lauren. “What on earth where you doing with him at The Harbor House? Please don’t tell me you were on a date.”

  “Blind date. Courtesy of my mother.” Lauren went on to tell them how they’d been at the table next to Nate and Jessica, and of her bathroom encounter with Jessica, as well as how the evening had ended.

  “My other toy has tits?” Kitty nearly doubled over in laughte
r. “Oh, my God! That’s…horrible! You must have been—”

  “Mortified? Humiliated? Pissed? How about all three,” she said.

  “You know,” Kitty said, “Once upon a time, Ted Ferguson and I sort of went out.”

  “You’re kidding,” Lauren said. Kitty’s husband Steve was the equivalent of the single woman’s dating trifecta: tall, dark, and handsome. Add in the fact that he was also rich and a genuinely nice guy, and you could say Kitty had hit the husband mega jackpot. “You did not go out with Ted.”

  Pilar and Shea nodded their heads vigorously. “Oh, yes she did,” Pilar said. “Tell her about it, Kitty.” The rest of the room urged her on, as well. Lauren knew the locals credited Kitty with “saving” Whispering Bay from Ted Ferguson’s evil clutches, but the whole thing had happened when she was still living in Atlanta, so she wasn’t privy to any of the juicy details.

  “It was supposed to be a business function,” Kitty emphasized. “I was single at the time, of course, and when Ted first came to town, he hired me as his realtor. So, in the middle of this party, he makes a pass at me—”

  “Don’t forget the part when he told you to get your fat ass in gear,” Shea said.

  “He did not say that,” Lauren said.

  Kitty laughed. “Oh yes, he did. Basically, I was supposed to help Ted buy a bunch of beach front property, almost all of which belongs to Earl Handy. Including the old senior center and the land it’s on. But in the end, Earl decided to sell the building back to the city and squashed Ted’s plans.”

  “Thanks to Kitty helping old Earl see the light,” Shea said.

  “Earl’s your great uncle, isn’t he?” Pilar asked Lauren.

  Lauren nodded. “He’s Daddy’s uncle, but we don’t see him very much. He’s…suffering from dementia.”

  “Too bad,” Kitty said. “He was sharp as a tack just a couple of years ago.”

  “If Earl is your great uncle, does that mean you’re rich, too?” Frida asked.

  “All the Handy’s are rich,” someone said.

  Mimi made a face. “Unfortunately, I must disagree with that.”

  “That’s right, you’re a Handy, too.” Frida looked between Lauren and Mimi. “How are you two related, again?”

  “I think we’re like third cousins or something,” Mimi said. “But honestly, I think I’m related to half the town. Lauren’s granddaddy was Earl’s younger brother and it’s Earl’s side of the family that was smart enough to buy up all the beachfront property.”

  Lauren squirmed in her seat. It was true. Daddy was from the wealthy side of Whispering Bay’s Handy clan. It was his daddy who had set up a trust fund for all his grandchildren, Lauren included. She knew she was lucky, and she was certainly grateful, but at the same time, she also felt a bit…unworthy. Despite the fact her daddy had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he’d worked hard to build up his own business. Just like Lauren planned to do herself.

  “It looks like Ted hasn’t changed his ways. At least not with women,” Lauren said, hoping to change the subject off money.

  “Well, I wouldn’t have gotten in a car with that sort of derogatory bumper sticker, either,” Pilar said, “so good for you!”

  “And good for Nate Miller giving you a ride home, but you should have called me,” Mimi said.

  “I would have, but I hated to interrupt your night with Zeke. Plus, there was a crowd gathering and I didn’t trust you to not flatten Ted on his ass. Believe me, I was tempted, but I’m not running for mayor.”

  “Thanks for looking out for my rep. You’re right, if he’d still been there I would have probably had a few choice words for him and ended up on the front page of the Gazette.”

  “Speaking of mayoral campaigns,” Kitty said, “The election is less than a few months away and we need to discuss your next fundraiser.”

  “I say we sell tickets and have women take turns throwing rocks at Ted Ferguson,” Frida said. “We’ll make a fortune.”

  Everyone had a good laugh at that, then spent the next ten minutes or so brainstorming ideas. “What about doing some kind of craft booth at the Spring Into Summer festival?” Shea suggested.

  “The election is in April, so that won’t help,” Kitty said.

  The annual Spring Into Summer festival was a day long affair that was always held the first Saturday in June. The opening ceremonies began with a 10K run along the beach. There were food trucks and arts and crafts booths for the adults, and bounce houses and sack races for the kids. The festival always concluded with a concert and a dance. Most of the local businesses advertised heavily, some of them by giving away promos or helping to underwrite the festival itself. Last year, Lauren’s business was in its infancy and she hadn’t had time to get a booth together. But this year she hoped to sponsor one to promote the shop.

  “How much does a booth cost?” Lauren asked.

  “Two hundred,” Pilar said. “Unless you’re a non-profit.”

  That sounded reasonable enough. She could do a whole summer wardrobe preview. People came from all over the panhandle for the festival so it was good advertisement. Not that Lauren thought it would turn her business around, but she had to try something.

  Kitty rang the Bunco bell to get their attentions back on track. “As Mimi’s campaign manager, I say we focus on a grassroots movement. Let’s face it, we aren’t going to outspend Bruce Bailey, but we sure can outman him. I suggest we start a door-to-door campaign. We have enough money in the campaign treasury to print out flyers and Pilar’s already come up with an awesome slogan, Mimi For Mayor. It’s short, and sweet, and everyone already knows who she is, so there’s no use beating a dead horse.”

  “I could probably get my mother to help,” Lauren said. She thought back to what Nate said to her the other day at the office. How Momma was at high risk for depression. She had to reluctantly agree, but Momma didn’t need drugs; she needed something to get her mind off Daddy’s problems. Of course, she was already the Queen of the Fundraiser. With only twenty-four hours in a day it was amazing how much she managed to squeak in.

  Lauren’s cell phone pinged. Speak of the devil. It was a text message from Momma.

  The eagle has landed!!!! Call me ASAP.

  Lauren had no idea what that meant, but she was afraid it might have something to do with Momma’s matchmaking scheme. Especially given the number of exclamation marks she’d used. If it was truly important, Momma would have just called, so Lauren ignored it for now. She’d call her later tonight after Bunco.

  Kitty glanced down at her day planner. “Okay, so…on to the next order of business. Couples Bunco.”

  “Who’s hosting this year?” someone asked.

  “That would be Shea and Moose.” This news was met with a whole lot of clapping and general merriment.

  “What’s couples Bunco?” Lauren asked.

  “That’s the only night of the year when we let our significant others play with us,” Frida said. “They make a whole lot of noise about how they have be dragged here kicking and screaming, when in reality, they love it. Ed’s already been bugging me about the date.”

  “Oh, but it’s just for the regular members, right? Not the subs?”

  The room quieted and everyone turned to look at Lauren. Kitty pierced her with a mysterious smile. “Which brings me to my next order of business. Ladies! May I have your attention! I have some sad news and some good news. The sad news, we already know. Christi’s husband is being transferred to Alabama and she has to quit the Babes. As a matter of fact,” she said, talking directly to Lauren, “that’s who you’re subbing for tonight. As for the good news, you’re officially our newest member!”

  “Me?” Lauren said. Which was a dumb question, because of course they meant her. “Oh, my God! Yes! Yes! I Accept!”

  This was met with squeals and shouts and ended with everyone coming up to Lauren to give her a big group hug. “Margaritas for everyone!” Shea cried, then she and Pilar went around refilling drinks.


  “Just water for me, thanks,” Kitty said. She waited till some of the commotion died down. “So, back to the agenda. I’m sorry to say that I’m going to have change the date for couples Bunco.”

  Shea frowned. “But we already agreed we’d play the last Saturday in May. It’s on the calendar.”

  “That’s right,” Frida said. “You can’t just up and change the calendar.”

  “Then you’ll have to play without me and Steve because we’ll be busy that weekend…having our baby!” Then she let out a scream of happiness.

  Within seconds, Kitty was enveloped in the same group hug that Lauren had just been a recipient of. There was shouting and laughter and tears. Lots and lots of tears.

  Pilar wiped her eyes dry. “The end of May! That means you’re almost five months along. You, bitch! How could you not tell us? How could you not tell me? I’ve been your best friend since grade school!”

  “I can’t believe you of all people kept that a secret for so long!” Shea said to Kitty. Then she stuck her tongue out at Pilar. “And I’ve been Kitty’s best friend since before you, remember?”

  Kitty laughed. “I wanted to tell you all, I really did.” She ran her hand down her loose shirt, revealed a small baby bump. “But you know I’m thirty-seven now and I just…it was sort of cool having just Steve and I know for so long. Kind of like our little secret.”

  She shrugged, her face glowing with happiness, and Lauren couldn’t help but feel a little wistful. Her own pregnancy announcement had been met with tears, too. But they had been tears of disappointment. The look on Momma and Daddy’s face… Lauren would never forget it. But in the end, everything had turned out all right. She could never ever regret having Henry. Not for anything in the world.

  “So if we could move couples Bunco just a few weeks earlier, Steve and I and Baby Pappas sure would appreciate it,” Kitty continued.

  “What are you having?” Frida asked.

  “We didn’t want to know. So it’ll be a surprise.”