The Crow King's Wife

by Melissa Myers

  “Can I point something out before we continue down this path?” Finn asked with a raised eyebrow. Seth nodded without a trace of enthusiasm on his face. It was obvious the man had already had enough of his opinion, but Finn chose to ignore that fact. His next words were a gamble. They would either bring back Seth’s fire or destroy him. There wasn’t much room for middle ground with his current frame of mind. “I already knew the basics of everything you told me from the room Death made for you, and frankly the fact that you have been chosen as an apparent hero scares the hell out of me. Consider everything you have told me Seth and try to imagine what must be coming if you are the best one to face it? You are the oldest Immortal inside the barrier that I personally know, and rabid bears have more mercy than you. I can’t think of a single person that is more dangerous than you, not even Hemlock.”

  Seth snorted with amusement at the bear analogy but remained silent otherwise. If he had found any concern over Finn’s words he didn’t show it. After a long silence he met Finn’s eyes and slouched further in his chair to stretch his long legs out beneath the table. “The problem with this line of thought is Heroes have to care, Finn, and I don’t.” Seth muttered, but there was a trace of bitterness in his voice that said he did care. He just didn’t trust his own actions enough to do anything.

  Finn nodded once and let out a slow breath before leaning toward Seth and folding his hands in front of him. “You say you don’t have a conscience, and I say one was given to you. She had a beautiful smile and in her eyes you were nothing but a hero. You saved her life, and it scared you because you realized there was something you cared about other than yourself. You stumbled, and you don’t have the balls to ask her forgiveness. Let me point this out for you though Seth. Hemlock didn’t seek Yasny’s help just to make you miserable. He may hate you, but not enough to go to those lengths. He did it for a purpose, and I think it was to separate you from Zoey. Hemlock fears you. I’ve seen how fast he disappears when you show up. The only reason I can think that he would want you away from her is so he can kill her without worrying about you showing up.”

  Seth’s eyes locked on him and the Assassin stiffened in his seat. His expression shifted from resignation to confusion then to anger in under a breath. “Why in the hell would he want Zoey dead?” he demanded.

  “Good question. Can you think of another reason he would want you away from her?” Finn asked.

  Seth frowned before nodding slowly. “She is Undrae. Hemlock is old enough to know what that is. If he can corrupt she would be a useful tool.”

  “Either way you danced to his tune nicely and Zoey no longer has your protection.” Finn replied with a shrug and cocked his head at Seth. “So are you still waving the white flag or have you found a bit of motivation now?”

  A look of pure frustration filled Seth’s eyes and he shook his head at Finn. “It doesn’t matter if I did find motivation. She won’t even give me the chance to apologize. At the first glimpse of black feathers she hides. Zoey hates me now, Finn.”

  “Regardless of what you think I sincerely doubt Zoey hates you, but I will let the topic rest for now and give you time to think on it. We have a few more things to cover and then I have something to attend to.” Finn began as he felt a tug on his power. It was the second time in less than a breath, and he couldn’t ignore it much longer. It was a summons, but it wasn’t from the Divine, it was from someone much more important in his eyes. For her to summon him it had to be important, and as much as he wanted to save Seth he would drop anything for her. “First, you will make amends with Jala. She didn’t do anything wrong beyond having faith in her friend. You acted out of anger and you know it as well as I do. Second, you will visit Sanctuary on my behalf. I know the Aspects have a sort of truce with the Immortals to remain out of their affairs, but that is coming to an end. I want you to speak with Symphony on the matter. This is our world as much as theirs and I don’t approve of what they are doing with it. There will be a council amongst the High Lords next month and I fully intend for the Divine to have a seat on that council.”

  “They will never agree to that. The Divine will object as much as the High Lords will.” Seth informed him with a quick shake of his head to emphasize the point.

  “Let me worry about the Aspects and you worry about talking with Symphony. Simply present the idea to her, and let me worry about the rest. As far as Jala goes, I expect you to make things right with her by the end of the week. I don’t trust anyone else enough to send them for my son. I depend on you for that service and it makes it rather difficult when you are refusing to be around Jala.” Finn said as he rose from his chair. He could hear her voice calling him again and it was growing more insistent.

  “How can you still trust me after knowing I was planning to betray you?” Seth asked in disbelief.

  Finn glanced down at him and smiled. “When you spoke at the council of Aspects you said you would only serve me. Did you mean that?”

  Seth nodded slowly and studied Finn’s expression with confusion. “I did. I would kill whoever they chose to replace you and take the power myself.”

  “Why just me Seth?” Finn pressed.

  “Because…” Seth’s voice trailed off and he looked away. With a sigh he rubbed his jaw and looked back to Finn grudgingly. “Because you are my friend even though I have tried to keep from admitting that. If it had truly come down to it I don’t know if I really could have followed through with my betrayal.”

  “And there is your answer Seth. I trust you with my son because you are my friend. You aren’t a very damn good friend to be sure, but you are learning, and you are getting better at it. I cut you slack because I know I’m one of the few friends you’ve ever had. You are still learning how to treat them, and more importantly how to trust them.” Finn winked at him before turning for the doorway. “I will be back later. I don’t know how much later, but this requires my attention. Do your best to find your balls, Seth. Zoey will have need of you in the future regardless of what you think and saving her again will be great practice for becoming a hero for the rest of the world.”

  Finn summoned his power as the doors closed behind him and held his breath as the Darklands faded around him. He was terrified of facing her directly, but couldn’t ignore her voice. It would be the first time he had seen her face to face since the day she had appeared before him as a spirit. She was the only weakness he had ever had in life, but she was his strength too. Every good thing he had ever done was for her, and if she needed him now he would do whatever she asked without question. For Jala there was no such thing as too much.

  Chapter 7

  Merro

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Marrow’s voice echoed through her mind and Jala nodded without bothering to open her eyes.

  Her hand was wrapped tightly around her holy symbol and her every thought was directed to Finn. She wasn’t sure if he would answer her summons, but her every prayer was begging him to. From the moment she had left Shade’s room she had been praying, and she would continue to pray until the morning could no longer be denied. In truth she would have ignored the morning itself to speak with Finn, but there were things she had to deal with and couldn’t ignore, such as Zoey leaving Merro. There was no way she could hide inside the small temple and without saying goodbye to her friends.

  “You already suffer from his memory. Why would you tear the wound open further by seeing him in person again?” Marrow paced closer to her and she reached out a hand to pull him over to her side.

  Leaning forward Jala rested her forehead against his massive shoulder and let out a soft breath. “I have to face my past before I can move forward Marrow. I need closure before I can let go of him. This is the only way I can accomplish that.” Jala explained softly. Her stomach was in knots at the thought of seeing Finn, but after speaking with Shade and reflecting on her own thoughts she knew this was the only way she could ever come close to happiness again. She had to face him. No matter how much she dreade
d hearing what he might say, she needed to hear him say it.

  “If you squeeze that symbol much tighter you are going to draw blood, Jala.” Finn’s voice came from the shadows behind her and Jala’s throat tightened at the sound of it.

  She could already feel the tears threatening to fall and she swallowed heavily as she released the amulet and her grip on Marrow. It took everything she had not to clutch to Bendazzi tighter, but she forced herself to stand instead.

  Turning slowly she faced him and studied him silently. The dim candlelight played off of his black armor and she tried to ignore how much he had changed. It wasn’t in his appearance. He was still just as beautiful as she remembered, with tawny hair that seemed to always be tousled and skin so bronze it was as if he still practiced swords in full sunlight every day. The change was all in his bearing. He didn’t seem like the man she had known in Sanctuary anymore. He was no longer a free spirit. She could see the weight of command on him just from how he stood, but it suited him. Finn Sovaesh was in control of the entire Darklands and the weight of that burden rested easily on his broad shoulders. The only part of him that looked uncertain was his eyes, and she knew it was only because they were locked on her. He was just as terrified of this conversation as she was. Somehow knowing that didn’t make it any easier to begin.

  “You called?” Finn prompted with a smile that tightened her throat further. There was nothing in the world that could match Finn’s smile.

  “I wanted to see if you would lie to my face twice, Finn.” Jala said softly her eyes intent on his every move. She pushed her emotions back further and forced herself to focus on everything she needed to say to him. Now wasn’t the time to be sentimental. It was time for truth. She hadn’t seen the lie the first time. There had been too much confusion in her mind and her thoughts had been too occupied with Jexon at that point, but after examining her memories over and over she could see it clearly. It had been too late by the time she had realized it though. Too much had already happened that she wouldn’t take back.

  Finn seemed to deflate with her words and slouched back against the wall. His smile faded and he looked away from her for a long moment before shaking his head slowly. “There wouldn’t be much point to that now would there, Jala?” he met her gaze once more and she could see the pain written in his green eyes.

  “Why would you lie to me about that? I would have done anything for you, Finn.” Jala tried to keep the anger from her voice, but failed miserably. Of all the questions she had ever asked in her life the one Finn had lied on had been the most important. Everything would be different if he had simply said Yes Jala, I did love you.

  Finn stared at her for a long moment and smiled sadly before sliding down the temple wall to sit on the floor. He folded his knees before him and rested his elbows across them. In that moment the Divine of Death was gone and it was just Finn facing her. The bearing he had held when he arrived had evaporated before her eyes leaving only the man she had loved more than life itself behind to face her. “My Grandmother once told me that when you truly loved someone you would do whatever it took to make them happy, even if it meant they were no longer with you. I didn’t understand her words until you stood before me, Jala, and I knew then that all I wanted was to see you happy even if it wasn’t with me. I was wrong about Val when I said he would treat you like a whore in Sanctuary. I was wrong about a lot of things, but that was probably my biggest misjudgment ever. I watched how he stood beside you and how he was always there for you, and I realized how much I had always underestimated him and how much better he was for you. Valor truly listens to you, and I have a habit of truly listening to my temper more than anything else.” Finn paused and rubbed at his face before leaning back against the wall to stare up at the ceiling. “Lying to you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I did it because I thought it was the best thing for you. I wanted you and Legacy to be safe and happy.” He admitted quietly.

  “Do I fucking look happy to you Finn?” Jala demanded in a ragged voice. “Everything in this god damn world is falling apart and no matter what I try I can’t hold it together. I can’t even hold myself together, Finn. I’m about to marry my best friend and I can’t stop thinking about you. That isn’t fair to Valor and I hate myself because of it! You lied to me on the most important thing. You fucking lied to me when I needed the truth, Finn.” She knew her voice was growing hysterical and her eyes were so filled with tears that the entire room was blurred. “How in the hell am I supposed to live with this, Finn? I have been trying to force feed myself your lie for months so I don’t have to face the truth, and it isn’t working anymore. Every time I am not occupied the guilt hits me like a blow to the gut. I let you die, I failed to bring you back, and I gave Valor part of my heart. I could have saved you if you just would have told me the truth. You acted as though you had what you wanted. I thought it was the power of being a Divine that you loved then.” She sank to the ground facing him and let out a ragged breath as the first of the tears coursed down her cheeks. “Part of me wants to despise you, and the other part of me wants to cling to you like a child.” She admitted bitterly before meeting his eyes once more. “Why didn’t my opinion matter to you, Finn? Why did you decide what would make me happy without bothering to ask me?”

  “What could I have given you, Jala? I am the bloody Divine of Death now remember? I can’t stay in the Sunlit world. I can’t be there for you every time you need me. I can’t make you happy no matter how much I might want to, Vezradesh. I could have kept you beside me in the Darklands, believe me the temptation was there, but that would have meant that Legacy had to live without you. I couldn’t do that to him, Jala. No matter how selfish I was in life, I couldn’t take you away from him. He needs you so much, and so does Val. You are their everything, just like you were for me.” Finn rubbed at his face and shook his head miserably. “Like you still are for me.” He corrected quietly. “I trapped myself, Jala and it wasn’t something I could escape from. You didn’t let me die. I chose to die to free Sanctuary from the Justicars. I had a way out, but it meant the Barrier would remain up, and you would still be trapped. You didn’t fail at saving me either, Jala. You gave me back life and you gave me the opportunity to kill the Divine. If not for you I would be serving that bitch as a demon. Instead I control things there. As far as Valor goes, I can’t think of anyone I would rather see at your side. At first it was like a knife in the chest, but the more I watched him the more I saw how much he loved you and how devoted he was to you and Legacy. It still hurts knowing it can’t be me, but it’s for the best and I know it. We are walking different paths now and no matter how much I might want to walk beside you, we both know I can’t.”

  “I would have devoted my life to freeing you from that trap if I would have known, Finn.” Jala said. Her voice quavered and she had to fight back a sob. Seeing him this close and knowing everything was over was one of the most painful things she had ever been forced to endure. There was no going back though, that wasn’t why she had called him here. Facing him was her first step to truly moving forward.

  “And the world would have fallen apart around you, Jala, while you were wasting all of your energy on me.” Finn informed her sadly. “You don’t see the difference you are making, but I can. If not for you Arovan and Glis would already be gone. The Blights wouldn’t have a prayer and Symphony would have fallen from her throne already. I am not worth the entire world, Jala, and that’s what it would have cost to save me.” He pushed off the wall as he fell silent and scooted closer to her. Swallowing heavily he reached across and took her hands in his own.

  She could see the tears in his eyes now and heard him sniffle lightly. It was the most pain she had ever seen him show, even when he had been dying he hadn’t cried. “You were to me.” She whispered and stared down at their joined hands. He still bore the wedding marks on his arm, but hers were gone. They had been lost with the creation of her new body. She stared at the twining metallic lines and felt somethin
g inside her crumble. Those marks on his arm should have shown her the lie the first time she stood before him. They were forged from the heart and couldn’t be manipulated by magic. The truth had been written on his flesh and she had been too blind to see it.

  Finn smiled sadly and ran a thumb down the back of her hand before looking up at her face once more. “Jala, you will always hold a place in my heart, and I will do whatever I can to help you, but I won’t let you suffer for me. This should have been faced before now, but I didn’t have the courage for it. Just like everything else that is wrong in the world it had to be you to confront it. I lied to you, but I don’t regret it at all. Let go of the guilt. You have no reason to be guilty for anything. I can’t say that I’m happy, but I’m content. I don’t think I will ever be happy until I can scry on you and see you smiling. If I have to make you hate me for that to happen I will, Jala. If that’s what it takes for you to find peace with what has happened I will, but I’d rather you just face the fact that there was no other way this could have gone. We both made choices, and this is where it led us. We have to accept that.”

  “I should have listened to Anthe’s warning. I should have left the city with you when you asked me to.” Jala murmured. The tears were fading and a cold numbness was settling over her.

  “And spent the rest of your life regretting your actions. You would have carried the guilt of Merro then, Jala, and it would have been ten times worse the guilt you have now. Along that path our relationship probably would have ended in bitterness. Believe me I have put a lot of thought into this as well.” Finn replied softly.