by Railyn Stone
“Are you looking for these two?” She gasped when she heard a familiar voice and she turned to see Quinn standing with Charlie and Travis on either side of him, grinning from ear to ear. Both of them were jumping up and down, excited at seeing the young man again.
“Look, Mommy. It’s Quinn.”
“I see that. Hi.” The corners of her mouth jerked upwards at the sight of him. She felt her heart race and she knew the boys weren’t the only ones happy to see him. Those familiar silvery eyes shimmered and danced as he stood only a few feet away.
“Hi. I found these two looking for a tree. I don’t suppose you need help getting it home?” She nearly melted through the few inches of snow on the ground when he grinned at her.
“I didn’t think this lot did that anymore since their delivery guy moved away.”
“Well, it seems like it’s one of those specials they do on the day after Thanksgiving for certain customers.” She ducked her head and giggled as he walked closer to her and the boys went back to running through the trees and playing in the snow. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you, too.” The evocative smell of his cologne wafted in the air, leaving her knees weak, and she felt like an awkward teenage girl talking to her first crush. “What are you doing here?” Everything in her fought the urge to touch him. Even swathed in the dark navy jacket he wore, he was as fit and firm as ever. She was almost afraid to close her eyes, for fear he was just a figment of her imagination.
“I came home for the holiday and thought I’d help Uncle Jack one last time.”
“Oh.” She mumbled, desperately searching for something else to say.
“So, it looks like my buddies are getting pretty big.” He turned to look over at the two, who were laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.
She watched the two mirror images as they ran in and out of the trees, wondering just how much she’d confused them with all of the things that had happened this past year. “Yes, they are. It seems like every time I blink my eyes they change. They ask about you a lot.”
“They do?” He turned to look at her with wide eyes. “They ask about me?”
The joy in his face at hearing the boys still asked about him was unmistakable and she felt a twinge of guilt reverberate through her. Quinn loved her children and would do anything to protect them. If anything, she had been the one to hurt them by keeping him away. “Yes. They miss you. I told them you moved away because you got an awesome opportunity and you couldn’t pass it up.”
“I miss them too. Just like I miss you.” The intensity in his eyes made her quiver. And she knew it wasn’t just the chill in the winter air that had her pulling the collar of her ivory parka closer.
“Quinn-”
“Syd, I’m not sure what happened between us. I don’t know how two people could have such a connection, but move so far apart.” Where had everything gone wrong? Why couldn’t things have been simple for them? A relationship between a man and woman shouldn’t be hard. It is one woman and one man, but throwing age differences and race differences into the mix had made it more than either one was able to handle. Why?
“I know. I think about you a lot.”
“I wanted to call, but I didn’t know what to say or if you would talk to me.” He lowered his eyes to the snow covered ground between them before his lashes fluttered up and their eyes locked. His soulful stare was more beautiful than she remembered and she longed to know what he saw in that gaze of his.
“Quinn…I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or…” Her emotions got the best of her and before she could rein them in, she blurted, “I miss you so much.” Sydnee missed him more than she had ever missed anyone and seeing him for the first time in so long just exacerbated her feelings.
“Syd-”
She raised her hand up to stop him; she knew she needed to tell him the truth. She needed to purge all of her feelings and be honest like they had promised each other. It was something she should have told him a long time ago, but never had the nerve. “No. I need to get this out. I messed up. I thought I was protecting my kids, but all I was doing was trying to protect my heart. I was so scared you were going to hurt me like Matt, but you aren’t him. You tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen to you and then, it was too late.” She looked away from him and wrung her hands together. “I listened to Mina, Matt, my mother, but I never listened to you, or even myself, and what I truly wanted.”
“What do you want?” She could barely hold her head up to look at him and she felt her shoulders slump.
“What I want, I can’t have.”
“What do you want, Syd?” He prodded her again for an answer, moving closer.
“I…I want you.” She watched a slow grin grace his extraordinary face and she let out a breath. “But it’s too late. You’re there, and I’m here.” She shrugged, thinking of the time they lost just because she hadn’t been brave enough to pursue the life she really wanted. She wanted to kick herself for being so stupid and scared. Scared to love, but more importantly, scared to stand up for herself and take a hold on her own life.
“Syd, do you love me?”
“What?”
“Do you love me?”
She paused, taking in a deep breath. Her heart beat furiously and she worried it would pound out of her chest. It was the most basic of questions. Did she love him? More than he knew. Take a chance Syd. She pressed her eyes shut for a moment before opening them and finally admitting what she had known for some time. “Yes. Yes, I love you. I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? When I asked you to come with me, or ask me to stay, you never called.” The inflection in his voice was tinged with pain and a pang of guilt stabbed her in the chest. How could she hurt someone she loved so much?
“I wanted to. I wanted to be with you but I let everything else get in the way of my feelings and what I wanted. I was scared you would figure out we weren’t what you wanted.” She paused, waiting for his reaction. “Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Do you still want us? Me, Travis and Charlie? Do you still want us?” Putting herself out on the line was a risk. It was risky to ask if he wanted his life to involve the three of them. After all she’d put him through, it was a very good chance he didn’t want to deal with them anymore. She held her breath, waiting for his answer.
“Of course I want you. Syd, you are all I’ve ever wanted.”
The tightness in her chest was quickly replaced by euphoria and Sydnee felt like she was floating on air. Quinn still wanted her. Before she could say anything else, he closed the gap between them, pulling her into his arms to kiss her. Her body relaxed in his strong arms and she moaned softly when the kiss deepened. She snaked her arms around his taut waist relishing the feel of his torso against hers. Just then she felt the cool crisp feel of snow against her face. Breaking their embrace, both turned to see the giggling twins holding the remnants of snowballs in their gloved hands.
“Ha, ha, we got you, Mommy!” She wiped the snow from her cheek. She wanted to be mad, but she couldn’t. Laughing, she looked at Quinn, who was steadily wiping snow from his broad chest.
“Yes, you did.”
“It’s snowing. Look.” They both pointed to the sky, trying to catch the flakes on their tongues as they giggled and jumped around.
A devious curl settled on her lips as she watched the soft, fluffy snowflakes falling around them. “You thinking what I’m thinking?” She raised an eyebrow at Quinn.
“I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been in a good snowball fight in quite some time,” he grinned, grabbing handfuls of snow and taking off.
“Hey, wait for me,” she yelled, running behind him to chase the giggling twins, ducking and dodging through the rows of trees. She could barely keep up she was laughing so hard.
###
Quinn spent the next couple of days with Sydnee and the boys before he was scheduled to leave and the bo
ys were overjoyed to have him back in their lives. He knew both of them were confused from their dad showing up, and then leaving so quickly again, that he made it a point to try and erase some of the confusion and disappointment they were feeling. He wasn’t going to have much time with them before he had to leave, so he tried to make the most of it. Sydnee could feel even more love for him fill her heart watching them on the floor building skyscrapers or playing video games.
“You know, I’m starting to get jealous.” Sydnee exclaimed, sinking into the sofa cushions beside Quinn. He had carried the boys in the house after they had collapsed in the car from pure exhaustion. The four of them had spent the day at the children’s science museum. There wasn’t an exhibit Travis and Charlie hadn’t touched and Sydnee relaxed the rules a bit so they filled up on pizza, candy and soda. It felt good to see the happiness that had been missing from their faces for so long. She was overjoyed Quinn was a part of their lives again.
“What are you jealous about?” Quinn asked, pulling her feet across his lap so he could massage them.
“Even as I was putting on their pajamas,” she paused, throwing her head back on the sofa and closing her eyes briefly. “Oh wow, that feels so good,” she moaned. “Even after putting on their pajamas in their practically comatose state, they were both mumbling about wanting you to tell them a story. I guess my stories just aren’t good enough anymore,” she pouted, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.
“Aww, don’t be jealous. I think they like my stories because I always throw in a fire breathing dragon and a couple of knights named Charlie and Travis,” he laughed, winking at her.
“So that’s the secret,” she said, tilting her head to the side.
“Pretty much. I had to do something. They always want you when they need something or they get hurt. I had to find something I’m better at than you. Plus, Goldilocks and the Three Bears is much more exciting with a dragon chasing them through the forest don’tcha think?” he grinned.
“Aww, that’s so sweet and so commercial all at the same time,” she cupped his cheek, sarcasm dripping from her words.
“Whatever.”
“I know you are kidding around, but I am very thankful for you.” She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. Thinking about him leaving the next day was getting harder to accept with each passing minute.
“Hey, don’t do that. We’re going to make this work.” He took her hand in his and rubbed her palm, trying to reassure her of their plan.
“I know…I’m just scared.” They had agreed to keep in touch and work out their long distance relationship. Quinn was not happy Sydnee and her mother weren’t on speaking terms again because of him, but Sydnee reassured him, she was okay. She was free and she had never been so happy in her entire life. She was sad she and her mother didn’t have the relationship she’d dreamed about, but she wasn’t going to let it keep her from the happiness and love she’d found with Quinn.
“Don’t be. Syd, you know I love you and I love the boys and we’re going to figure this out. It may take some time, but we can make it work.” He pulled her closer to him and she settled into the crook of his arm resting her chin on his chest. She wished they could stay like this forever, but she knew he had to leave. “It’s pretty late,” he said, as she looked up at him. “I’m going to go. I’ll call you in the morning.” He wiped the newly formed tears from her eyes before he kissed her on the forehead.
She shook her head and looked up at him. “Don’t leave.”
“What?” Quinn asked softly, with a puzzled look on his face.
“Stay. Stay with me…please?” She knew she couldn’t prolong his leaving, but she just needed to feel him near her for as long as she could.
“Syd are you sure? What about the boys.”
“I’m sure. Quinn, they love you. I can’t imagine you not being in our lives. I know it probably seems like I’m being co-dependent right now, and maybe I am in a way. But I just want to know when I lay down to sleep tonight, I’ll wake up in your arms,” she finished, her expressive brown eyes full of love.
“You’re positive about this?”
“Yes. We don’t have much time before you leave. Please. Just for tonight?”
Nodding his head, Quinn accepted her invitation to stay. “Okay,” he answered, lowering his head to kiss her softly.
She moved into his embrace, placing her cheek on his wide chest as he placed his chin on the top of her head and held her. She could hear his heart beating through the thin material of his shirt and she felt more content than she had in a long time. The sense of comfort and security she’d been missing for so long was now all wrapped up in his strong arms. They sat in silence, soaking up every precious moment they could before walking to her bedroom. Closing the door behind him, Quinn turned off the overhead light leaving the room dimly lit by the bedside lamp. Even in the dim light, Sydnee could see the desire in his eyes and all she wanted was to feel his skin against hers. She deftly took the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head. As her fingers ran across the muscles in his chest, his lips parted and he lowered his head to kiss her. He ran his fingers through her hair as their kiss intensified and she felt delirious from the feel of him against her. Slowly, he pulled back taking in every inch of her face as if he were committing it to memory and she wanted to cry knowing this man loved her more than his own life.
“I want you more than I think I’ve ever wanted anything,” she whispered, looking at him and hoping he could see the same amount of love in her eyes.
Taking her words as his cue, Quinn gently moved them to the bed. He unbuttoned her blouse, never breaking their gaze. Once the material fell from her arms, he lowered her to the bed and pressed his lips against hers. With each passing moment she felt her heart rate increase in anticipation of his touch. He blazed a hot trail of kisses from her lips to her neck and reached down to unbutton and unzip her jeans. She arched her hips up to allow him to pull them down her legs and she lay on the bed waiting for him to remove his own.
“I’ve missed you,” she heard him rasp in her ear.
He ducked his head and kissed her stomach before lying beside her, pushing her onto her side with her back towards him. He pulled her hair back and buried his head in the crook of her neck, kissing the sensitive skin beneath her ear. She could feel his strong but nimble hands skim across her back to unsnap the hook on the lace bra she wore, freeing her breasts. The cool air wafted across her bare skin and she could feel her nipples stand at attention. She moaned, feeling his smooth chest against her bare back and she closed her eyes when his hands cupped her breasts, kneading the mounds and worrying the nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. She didn’t think she could take much more of his torture and she nearly fell apart when he rolled her onto her back and moved to his knees, capturing one of the hardened pebbles in his mouth. His talented tongue swirled and teased and her back arched instinctively, pushing her body closer to him.
“Quinn,” she breathed, running her hands through his hair. She wanted to feel him against every part of her and she couldn’t get enough of him. He looped his fingers through her underwear and slid them down her hips, igniting a deep fire in her belly as his powerful hands grazed her skin. She could take the torment no longer and pulled him to her, commanding that he satisfy her every need. “I need you now.”
He put on a condom before gently nudging her onto her back and sliding into her. “Syd.” She heard him moan as he rocked into her and she wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him closer and deeper into her.
She groaned as his firm lips kissed the hollow of her neck and she closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of him invading every bit of space inside her. He took both of her wrists in his hands, pressing them into the bed above her head before bending down to take her lips in his own. He pried her lips apart so his tongue could swirl and dance with hers. His hips continued to grind out a slow sensual rhythm as he pushed deeper into her, eliciting uncontrollable spasms inside
her as her body jerked in climatic ecstasy and he followed suit a second later.
“Quinn. I love you,” she murmured.
“I love you, too,” he replied, kissing the top of her head and pulling her into his side and they lay in silent bliss before falling asleep in each other’s arms.
###
Sydnee had never felt so content than she had waking up in Quinn’s arms. It felt right. It felt like she was finally able to breathe, but she was sad he was leaving that afternoon. He’d gotten up early and said his goodbyes to the boys before she took them to school. Her heart ached watching them both nearly in tears at the thought of not seeing Quinn on a regular basis. She knew exactly how they felt, sitting at her desk looking at the picture of him with the twins, not knowing exactly what their future held.
The shrill ring of her office phone jarred her from her thoughts and she tried to get her head back into her work. “Weston Graphics, this is Sydnee.”
“Hey girl. We didn’t get to talk long the other day. What’s going on?” Sydnee grimaced, hearing Sara’s voice through the receiver. Her heart was heavy and she knew she would not be able to hide it very well.
“Hey.”
“Uh oh, gloomy Gus. What’s wrong?” She could always count on Sara to know her better than she knew herself.
“Quinn leaves today.”
“Oh, no. I forgot. Oh, honey, I’m sorry. And just when you two found your way back to each other. How are you doing?” Fighting back tears, Sydnee knew she wasn’t doing well. She’d tried to make sense of everything, and she’d continually told herself she and Quinn could have a meaningful long distance relationship. But as the minutes ticked by, she felt more and more reluctant. She propped her elbow on the desk and dropped her forehead into her palm.
“I’m so out of it, Sara. I just feel so, I don’t know. I’m so confused.”
“What do you mean?”
Sydnee closed her eyes and silently wished her heart would stop hurting as badly as it was. “I want him to go and be the success I know he’s going to be. But a part of me just wants him to stay. I know it’s selfish, but I love him so much.”
