(Sganarelle appears between the trees. He beckons excitedly to attract Don Juan’s attention)
Don Juan Gentlemen, I have but one request to make of you: that you decide quickly. I am in a hurry.
Don Carlos Brother, I know what I owe to our honor. Shall I permit this gentleman to carry with him to the other world a debt that I have failed to redeem?
Don Alonso Heaven has given us an opportunity to take vengeance here and now. If you do not wish to fight, then go. I alone will make the holy sacrifice.
Don Carlos Brother, I implore you …
Don Alonso No, he must die …
Don Carlos (placing himself in front of Don Juan) Stop, brother; stop, I say. I will not suffer you to take his life in this place where he defended mine. If you wish to kill him, you will first have to pierce my heart.
(Pause)
Don Alonso O unforgiveable weakness!
Don Carlos Grant me a delay, brother.
Don Alonso The interests of our family…
Don Carlos Will be safeguarded. Don Juan, you see that I am doing my utmost to repay my debt to you. From which I bid you infer that tomorrow I shall requite your offense with the same zeal as today I requite your succor.
Don Juan Sir, I have given you my word. Rest assured, I do not fear this encounter, but I must own to you that I should find it rather inconvenient at the present moment. I am thankful to you for the postponement.
Don Carlos Come at midnight to the dark alley leading to the convent.
Don Alonso There we shall make amends for our present neglect.
Don Carlos Let us go, brother.
(Both go out)
7
Don Juan. Sganarelle.
Don Juan Well, knave, where is she?
Sganarelle Your lordship!
Don Juan The devil take you, speak! Why are you standing there as if you’d been struck by lightning?
Sganarelle Your lordship, I have! Do you know what that white building is?
Don Juan Blockhead, what’s a white building to me? Where’s the girl?
Sganarelle Your lordship, that white thing among the trees is—his tomb.
Don Juan Whose tomb?
Sganarelle The man you killed according to all the rules…
Don Juan The Commander?
Sganarelle Heaven protect you!
Don Juan Oh!—But let’s get back to essentials: who is the girl?
Sganarelle The girl is … the Commander’s daughter.
Don Juan His daughter! My word.
Sganarelle Robbed by you of her father and mother! Your lordship, I implore you, we must leave this place of doom. To stay is to bring the dead man’s wrath upon us.
Don Juan What, coward? Afraid of stones when I’m here beside you? I’ll drive this fear out of you. I’ll pay the Commander my respects, and you’ll come with me.
Sganarelle Your lordship, please don’t go in, please.
Don Juan I order you not to be afraid! I owe the gentleman a visit. If he’s a gentleman, he’ll receive us politely. Come.
(They approach the mausoleum among the trees)
(Music. The mausoleum opens. Don Juan and Sganarelle stand before the statue of the Commander)
8
Don Juan. Sganarelle. The statue of the Commander.
Sganarelle There! There he is.
Don Juan Good Lord! Done up as a Roman emperor.
Sganarelle Your lordship, he looks so real. As if he were alive and wanted to speak. He’s looking at us—I’m … (Don Juan gives him a menacing glance) I’d be afraid if you weren’t here. You know, your lordship, I think he’s unfriendly to us.
Don Juan That would be most unjust of him. It would suggest that he failed to appreciate the honor I’m showing him. Invite him to dinner at my house.
Sganarelle I don’t think that’s of much use to him now, your lordship.
Don Juan Go on. Invite him, I said.
Sganarelle You’re joking, my lord, a stone can’t hear.
Don Juan Exactly. Do as you’re told.
Sganarelle Lord Commander—(aside) this is idiotic!—(aloud) Lord Commander, my master Don Juan Tenorio bids me ask whether you will do him the honor of dining with him this evening.
(The statue nods)
Sganarelle Oh!
Don Juan Now what’s wrong with you? Say something.
Sganarelle (mimics the statue’s nod) The statue …
Don Juan Idiot! Speak up!
Sganarelle The statue!
Don Juan The statue what? Speak or I’ll strike you dead.
Sganarelle The statue nodded.
Don Juan The plague take you!
Sganarelle He nodded. Really. Speak to him yourself.
Don Juan Blockhead. Lord Commander, will you do me the honor of dining at my house—in pleasant company?
(The statue nods)
Sganarelle Oh!
Don Juan (takes a pinch of snuff) Time to be going.
(Both go out)
Act Four
The terrace of Don Juan’s castle.
1
Sganarelle. Ragotin.
Ragotin (holding a letter in his hand, passes Sganarelle; he is wearing riding boots and breeches) This’ll be the fourth letter I’ve taken over there.
Sganarelle Ragotin! Is she coming or not?
Ragotin Yes.
Sganarelle Yes, what?
Ragotin She’s either coming or she’s not. How do I know? Why shouldn’t she come? You might say she’s still in mourning for the commander. But what’s that to me? I’ve got my hands full: knock off a gate keeper, poison a dog, bribe a governess. Letters, letters—back and forth! Two horses worn to a frazzle! Only three left in the stable. Are they my horses? Well then. Is she coming or not? I don’t ask, I don’t know, my business is riding. (Goes out)
2
Sganarelle.
Sganarelle Happy man! My trouble is that I know too much. I can feel a terrible tempest brewing over this house, and I’m very much afraid that the lightning will strike the servant along with the master. I’ll ask the cook to read my palm. She’s good at it. (Calls) Seraphine! Seraphine!
3
Sganarelle. Seraphine.
Seraphine What is it? I’ve got a big dinner to cook.
Sganarelle That’s just it.
Seraphine What’s the dinner to you?
Sganarelle That’s just what I want you to tell me. Seraphine, I’ve got a feeling that a terrible storm is gathering over this house and I want you to read my palm. Seraphine, is my fate tied up with the fate of a great lord? Watch your step.
Seraphine Let’s see!
Sganarelle (hesitates) I want the whole truth.
Seraphine (taking his hand) I always tell the whole truth.
Sganarelle (withdraws his hand) But you can make mistakes.
Seraphine If you think I can make mistakes, I’ll go back to my hors d’oeuvres. I’m sick of reading you people’s palms anyway. The other day Josephine fainted and that made Ragotin cut me.
Sganarelle (suspiciously) So you think I’ll faint if you tell me the whole truth?
Seraphine I haven’t even looked yet.
Sganarelle Oh yes, you have.
Seraphine I say I haven’t. And now I’m going back to my carp.
Sganarelle Damn the carp. Don’t be so touchy. Here’s my hand. Just tell me if my fate is tied up with the fate of a great lord. Watch your step. (After a pause) It isn’t, is it? (Jangles coins in his pocket) Look carefully.
Seraphine Your fate is …
Sganarelle Watch your step, now.
Seraphine Not tied up with the fate of a great lord!
Sganarelle Right! You really are a good palm reader. (Suddenly distrustful) Do you really see that, or are you just trying to make me feel good? I want you to tell me exactly what my hand says. Not what it gives me pleasure to hear. My life line—would you say it was long?
Seraphine (inspects his hand for some time) Long, yes …
; Sganarelle What do you mean “long, yes …”? Now you’re trying to scare me.
Seraphine I told you you wouldn’t be able to take it. Now I’m going back to my ducks in orange sauce. They don’t interrupt me all the time.
Sganarelle Don’t try to cut me short when I want to know about my life line. When everybody knows that palm reading is unreliable. If you want to know the truth about the future, what you need is a horoscope. It’s expensive but you can rely on it.
Seraphine You only say that because you’re afraid. You’re not a man. And it shows in your life line.
Sganarelle You said yourself it was long.
Seraphine Yes, long. But thin.
Sganarelle Hm. Then let it be thin.
Seraphine It’s thin all right.
Sganarelle But long.
Seraphine Yes.
Sganarelle Seraphine, what are we fighting for? All I want you to tell me is this: does it say if there’s something special I should watch out for?
Seraphine But if I tell you you’ll start yelling at me again.
Sganarelle No, I promise.
Seraphine Veal.
Sganarelle Don’t be silly, Seraphine. Veal doesn’t hurt me in the least.
Seraphine You’re Aries, aren’t you?
Sganarelle No, Cancer.
Seraphine In that case veal really can’t hurt you.
Sganarelle Take another look: should I watch out for stone?
Seraphine Stone?
Sganarelle Yes or no?
Seraphine (hears Don Juan coming) His lordship! (She runs away)
Sganarelle (shouts after her) Stone? Yes or no?
4
Sganarelle. Don Juan.
Don Juan What’s all the shouting?
Sganarelle Oh, your lordship, I can’t get that talking statue out of my mind.
Don Juan Forget it. Maybe a shadow deceived you, or a blood stoppage could have clouded your eye.
Sganarelle No, your lordship, you can’t deny it, that nod was real. It was a miracle wrought by heaven itself because your way of life has …
Don Juan Listen to me: you stop bothering me with your idiotic sermons or I’ll call a stable boy with a whip. Three men will hold you down, or maybe four would be better, and you’ll be beaten like a carpet. Understand?
Sganarelle I understand, your lordship. You express yourself very plainly; that’s the best thing about you, you don’t beat about the bush, you make things so beautifully clear.
Don Juan Hm.—What’s Ragotin doing?
Sganarelle Riding.
5
Don Juan. Sganarelle. La Violette.
La Violette Your lordship, Mr. Dimanche your tailor is here; he insists on seeing you.
Sganarelle A creditor! That’s all we needed. Coming to us for money! The idea! Why don’t you tell him his lordship is out?
La Violette That’s just what I’ve been telling him for a whole half hour, but he won’t believe me. He’s sat down in the antechamber and he’s waiting.
Sganarelle Then let him sit in the antechamber till he rots.
Don Juan No. That won’t do. Bring him in. It’s bad tactics to hide from creditors; it’s much better to give them something.
(La Violette brings in Mr. Dimanche)
6
Sganarelle. Don Juan. Dimanche. La Violette.
Don Juan Ah, my dear Dimanche, how kind of you to call! You are my first visitor since my return. I shall never forgive my servants for not bringing you in at once. I had given orders to admit no one, but they ought to realize that such orders don’t include you. To you my door is at all times open.
Dimanche I’m much obliged to you, your lordship.
Don Juan (to La Violette and Sganarelle) Scoundrels! I’ll teach you to let Mr. Dimanche cool his heels!
Dimanche It’s nothing, your lordship.
Don Juan Nothing? Telling you, my best friend, that I’m out?
Dimanche Your lordship, I have come to …
Don Juan Quick, a chair for Mr. Dimanche.
Dimanche I don’t mind standing, your lordship, if …
Don Juan When you’re in my house, I want to see you comfortably seated.
Dimanche It’s quite unnecessary. (He begins to sit down)
Don Juan Take that stool away! A chair, I said.
Dimanche Your lordship pleases to joke. I …
Don Juan No, no. I know what I owe you. I wish to see no distinction between us.
Dimanche Your lordship …
Don Juan Come, come. Do sit down.
Dimanche It’s really unnecessary, I shall be very brief. I’ve come to …
Don Juan Sit down, I say.
Dimanche No, no, your lordship. Don’t put yourself out. I only wished to …
Don Juan No, I refuse to listen unless you sit down.
Dimanche If you insist, your lordship. (Sits down) I …
Don Juan You’re looking well, Mr. Dimanche.
Dimanche Thank you, your lordship. Your humble servant. I’ve come …
Don Juan Your health is your most precious possession—full lips, rosy cheeks, sparkling eyes.
Dimanche I should like …
Don Juan Madame Dimanche is well, too, I hope.
Dimanche Tolerably well, your lordship, thank heaven. I thought …
Don Juan An excellent woman!
Dimanche Thank you, your lordship. I hoped …
Don Juan And your daughter Claudine?
Dimanche In the best of health.
Don Juan Ah, the sweet little pigeon. Charming!
Dimanche You do me too much honor, your lordship. I wished …
Don Juan And Paolo, your little boy? Still making such a hubbub with his little drum?
Dimanche He’s still at it, your lordship … I …
Don Juan And Pippo, your little dog? Does he still growl and nip your visitors’ legs?
Dimanche More than ever, your lordship, we can’t seem to break him of the habit.
Don Juan My inquiries seem to surprise you. You forget the deep interest I take in your family.
Dimanche We’re very much obliged, your lordship. I …
Don Juan Give me your hand, Mr. Dimanche. If I have any friend in the world, it’s you.
Dimanche Your humble servant!
Don Juan And I am yours with all my heart!
Dimanche You do me too much honor. I …
Don Juan There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. But you know that. Nothing …
Dimanche You are too kind, your lordship …
Don Juan Without thought of my own advantage.
Dimanche You put me to shame. But, your lordship …
Don Juan Ah, Mr. Dimanche … without mincing words … will you stay for dinner?
Dimanche No, your lordship. I really must be going. I …
Don Juan (stands up) Servants! Quick! Bring torches. Escort Mr. Dimanche. Four of you, no, five. With muskets.
Dimanche (likewise stands up) Oh but your lordship, it’s not necessary, I’ll find my way. But …
(Sganarelle immediately removes his chair)
Don Juan Not a word. I insist on giving you an escort. I always said you’d go far and I mean to see that you do. I am your servant and what is more your debtor.
Berliner Ensemble Adaptations Page 26
