Accidental Baby: A Billionaire Secret Baby Romance

by Lara Swann

  “Exactly!” It comes out of her as a wail. “You don’t have a—a choice—now and—”

  I shake my head, partly to resist the urge to shake her. “Where’s all this come from, Ava? What’s going on?”

  “You don’t understand!” She gives into another wave of sobs, and despite the solid ball of tension in my gut at everything she’s saying, I go back to stroking her back and trying to comfort her.

  “What don’t I understand?”

  “You—you don’t get it. I’m—I’m—I’m no one special. I’m a screw up. I have been all my life and now—now—look at you. You’re the CEO of a billion dollar company. You raised your sister despite—despite everything. I couldn’t even deal with hearing I was pregnant! But you fixed that too—because—because that’s what you do. You’ve succeeded at everything and I—I haven’t. And I—I won’t, Damien. That’s not what I do. I just—just ruin things. And I’ll ruin this—and you’ll hate me—because I’ll never get that job and I’ll just be—be here—for you to support—while you’re working—and—and—”

  She dissolves into tears again, and I’m trying to comfort her, but I’m so shell-shocked by everything she just said that I’m not sure I’m doing a good job at all.

  “No, no, no…Ava…”

  I don’t even know what to say. I can’t explain how the depth of feeling there is so alien from everything I think and feel that I can’t even comprehend it.

  “I love you.”

  It comes out before I’ve thought about it - because if I thought about it, I never would have said it. It’s been on the tip of my tongue for weeks. Since the moment I found out she was pregnant, really. Or maybe since the time I saw her turn up in my office after that one night together.

  Yeah. Crazy. That’s why I haven’t said it. Ava is spooked enough by how fast everything is going without adding that to the mix, but…damn. It’s the only thing I can think after all of that.

  “I love you, Ava. And I don’t care who you are or what you do - you’re special and you’re mine and you’re having my baby. That’s all I want. You and my baby. I love you both and I think you’re perfect. It’s stupid and cliche, but I do. I’ve been addicted since the moment I first saw you and now that I know you better…I know you’re everything, for me.”

  She’s blinking up at me, shocked enough to come out of the storm of hurt and pain enough to actually listen and so I just continue - because even if it scares her away, I need her to know. I need her to believe me.

  I don’t know what happened or what made her think this way - but I need to make sure that nothing anyone says ever makes her believe any of that again.

  “Nothing you do could ever make me hate you - and supporting you, in whatever you want to do or however things go, is all that matters to me. And I’ll be honest about it - if you wanted to spend your time at home making babies and raising our children, there’s an old fashioned part of me that would be thrilled about it. But I know how important your career is to you and I have nothing but admiration for the way you’ve stuck with it and how close you are to cracking it. I don’t know what will happen with this job, but if it’s not this one, it will be another one - because you’re damn good at what you do, Ava, and you care about it. I know, I run a business, and that’s the only thing that really matters. That passion.”

  I take a deep breath, feeling like I’ve just run a marathon, but she’s looking at me - she’s listening to me - those big blue eyes wet with tears and so much emotion, it takes my breath away. I can’t help it - I lean down and kiss her, tilting her chin up to mine and bringing our mouths together. She tastes salty, but warm and perfect under me, and I deepen the kiss instinctively. I just want her to believe me. I just want her to know everything I’ve said is true.

  By the time I finally withdraw, after slowly stroking some life back into her tongue and lips, there are still tears at the edge of her eyes - but something in her expression has changed. The doubt there has shifted into something far closer to awe, and before that makes me too uncomfortable, I push a damp lock back behind her ear and ask gently.

  “So are you going to tell me what happened, Ava? What made you think all those crazy things?”

  Her breath shudders out of her all at once and her head comes closer into my chest. I put my arms around her, but at least the sobbing and wailing seems to have calmed now. She seems to actually hear what I’m saying - and trust me now. That’s all I want.

  Eventually, she answers me.

  “My…ex…dumped me…after nine years…because he was too frustrated with supporting my ‘dead-end career’.” She says that phrase bitterly. “He thought I was just using it as an excuse to be lazy—anyway, it doesn’t matter—but I bumped into him today and…he said some things and…it just…”

  She shakes her head and I have to stop myself from the way I want to react, as fury rolls through me.

  Her ex? Her ex is the one that said all that?!

  I have a sudden urge to meet the guy, just to tell him what I think of him right now. Maybe with my fists.

  “He’s an idiot then.” I say immediately, trying to control my voice enough that it doesn’t come out as harshly as I feel right now. “And a total asshole, if that’s the way he’s going to act.”

  “That’s what Vicki always saa—aiiidd—”

  She suddenly dissolves into tears again and I look down at her, startled.

  “Ava? What…?”

  She sobs again, clutching at me, and I kiss the top of her head as I hold her close. When they finally start subsiding again, she looks up at me, and she looks just about as miserable as she did when I first saw her. The knot in my gut tightens again.

  “Ava…”

  “It wasn’t him - not really.” She says, gasping slightly as she shakes her head. “I don’t care what he thinks anymore. I didn’t—didn’t really believe him. Didn’t want to. I just—I just wanted—a little reassurance. But then Vicki—Vicki—”

  She takes a deep breath, obviously trying to get her breathing under control, but something sinks within me.

  “What happened with Vicki?”

  “She hates me!” Ava bursts out, and withdraws from me enough to wrap her arms around herself.

  “Hey, hey, hey…” I say, shaking my head.

  I’ve met Vicki. I somehow doubt she hates many people - and it was obvious how much she cares about Ava.

  “And she was right. I’m so—I’ve been so—” She takes a big, gulping breath. “She’s always been there for me, and she’s sick of it. That’s what she said. She’s done with all the—the drama—and my stupid, chaotic, impossible life—and—”

  Ava squeezes her eyes tightly closed, rocking herself slightly, and my heart goes out to her as I see the way she’s beating herself up.

  “She made me think he was right. How could she do that? How could she—say—all that if she didn’t hate me?” Ava continues, like a dam that’s finally broken. “I used Jackson, I guess. And I used Vicki. And now I’m using you. And—and—and—”

  “You’re not using me.” I say firmly. “And Ava, you’ve known her forever, I can’t believe she meant any of that—”

  “Why not though? It’s true.”

  “You’re friends. You’ve always been there for each other.”

  “She’s always been there for me.” Ava retorts. “But she’s—she’s never needed me—not like that. She’s got her life together. She’s always so…great. I’ve never—never really been there for her.”

  I stroke her back, not really doing much more than comforting her and listening as she goes through it all. I want so much to help her, but I don’t know what I can say.

  With her ex, it’s easy. I can hate her ex. I can want to walk right up to him and set him straight.

  But her best friend?

  I don’t hate Vicki anymore than Ava does - or anymore than Vicki hates Ava.

  “She’s always been there for me…” Ava moans again, tucking her head
into my chest and breathing in little gasps. “And I know—I know I have you now—and I’ll be alright, because—because that’s perfect. But—but—”

  “You do have me.” I murmur again. “And you will be alright, Ava. Always.”

  There’s a long moment of silence, the stillness almost unnerving after how upset she was, but I savor the way she leans into me and listen for her breathing slowly easing out. It’s still punctuated with little sobs and hiccups, but it seems like being close to me is slowly easing her. I hope so. I ache with how much I want to make this better - but I also know this isn’t something I can do.

  All I can do is be here for her.

  Somehow, that feels harder than if I had to bring her the moon.

  “I guess…I guess she doesn’t have anyone else.” Ava says eventually, her voice small and sad.

  I nod against the top of her head, after a moment voicing the thing that’s been on my mind the whole time.

  “Maybe she needs you more than you thought.” I say gently, and Ava looks up at me with big, beautiful eyes.

  The disbelief there tugs at something inside me. How could she possibly not realize the effect she has on everyone else?

  I stroke her cheek gently, leaning in to brush her mouth with mine.

  “Maybe everyone needs you more than you think.” I murmur against her mouth. “I can’t even say how much I do. I love you, Ava.”

  She takes a slow breath, but slowly some of the confusion in her gaze starts to clear. I’m still not sure she fully believes it - and the self-doubt there is something I swear to myself I’m going to wash away, bit by bit - but at least she’s considering it.

  “I love you too.” She finally says, softly.

  That makes me pause, too surprised to respond. Somehow, I hadn’t expected to hear that back - not yet. I’d built it up in my mind as being too quick, too crazy to say it myself…and when it comes to things like that, Ava is the less impulsive one. But…

  She leans forward, kissing me in a way that turns deep within moments - deep and passionate and hot enough that my body starts to respond despite everything else that’s going on. She wraps her arms around my neck as she does, shifting so that she’s straddling my lap, and I pull her closer into me.

  “I love you, Damien.” She says again, finally withdrawing enough to look at me, to meet my eyes with her bright, tear-sparkling ones. “I think I’ve known that for a while, too.”

  I’m still struggling to believe it, but I can’t help the smile that comes over me.

  “I love you, Ava. And I love our little one. I can’t wait for our baby…and I can’t wait for our future together. All of it.”

  She bites her bottom lip, but she nods, and the trust I see there warms me from the inside out.

  “Me too.”

  “And…” I say softly, stroking her face again. “You’ll fix this thing with Vicki. I know you will. You two mean too much to each other.”

  She hesitates, I can see it in her eyes, but then she finally nods - and it tugs at my heart to see her put her faith in what I know to be true, even if she can’t see it yet.

  “Yeah.” She says, something sighing out of her as she does, her whole body fully relaxing into me. “We’ll fix it.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ava

  I stand outside Vicki’s apartment holding peanut butter cookie ice cream, with my heart in my throat as I knock on the door. I have a key, but right now the last thing I can do is walk into Vicki’s house.

  Ice cream after an exam has been a tradition between us for years, and this one is her favorite…but I still don’t know whether she’ll answer. I’m a couple of days too late, but it took this long to work up the courage to come here - and face the possible rejection.

  The last thing I wanted to do was come too soon and make everything worse.

  I can’t deal with the idea of anything happening to our friendship. I know I have Damien now, and that - along with my baby - has been the best thing to ever happen to my life. But I don’t think I would’ve got here without Vicki - and I don’t know how I’ll get through the rest of it without her at my side.

  It feels like it takes a long time before I hear footsteps at the other side of the door - and then there’s an even longer pause where the door very obviously doesn’t open. I know she’s staring at me through the peephole and I raise a hand in a small wave, giving her a slightly hopeful smile.

  “Please.” I mouth.

  Another wait. Then finally, she opens the door.

  Not wide enough for me to come in, but enough for me to see her. She’s wearing baggy pants and a long sweatshirt, her hair is a mess and it looks like she’s been crying. It’s close to the worst I’ve ever seen her and my heart starts to crack. Vicki has always been bubbly and fun and totally unconcerned about the world. Somehow it never occurred to me that she could be unhappy.

  “I’ve missed you.” I say simply, unable to think about anything else.

  She gives me a dubious glance. “Why would you? You’ve got everything you ever wanted now, right?”

  I shake my head immediately. “I don’t have you, Vicki. I can’t stand not having you.”

  “Well, then I guess I’m have to do something about that, aren’t I? Because we can’t have you unhappy.”

  “That’s not what I meant. You know it isn’t.” I say, feeling stuck.

  Why can I never say anything right?

  “Do I?”

  Feeling confused and adrift, not used to Vicki looking like this or talking like this or anything…I hold out the ice cream between us. A peace offering.

  “Please? Can we just talk?” I glance at the ice cream, then add hopefully. “I brought peanut butter cookie.”

  She looks at me for a long moment, but I can tell she’s as unhappy as me and eventually she lets out a long sigh and turns away from the door, heading inside. I take that as the best invitation I’m going to get to follow.

  She walks into the living area and folds herself into the couch immediately, still frowning in my direction.

  I notice the empty tubs of ice cream on the table in front of her and she follows my glance. For a brief moment, some of the irritation seems to clear from her gaze and she shrugs.

  “The store was out of peanut butter cookie.” She grumbles, and I half-smile as I set it down on the table.

  I take the other end of the couch, but unlike usual, we’re careful not to touch - which on the couch, isn’t entirely that easy.

  “So what did you want to talk about?” She asks, as she opens the tub and dives in with the spoon she’s already got out here. She doesn’t suggest we share the way we normally do, but with the pit in the core of my stomach, I’m not sure I want any anyway.

  I give her a long look, trying to resist the urge to come out with the obvious - that I want to talk about what the hell is going on here, what’s wrong, what happened, all of it.

  Eventually I sigh and settle back against the couch, letting it pull me in the way it usually does.

  “I wanted to say I’m sorry.” I say, tucking my feet up against my chest and looking over at my best friend. “You were right, I do always come to you when something goes wrong - and for me, something seems to go wrong a lot. I never thought about it - and you never seemed like you needed anything from me, Vicks. You always seemed like you had everything exactly how you wanted - you know how many times I would’ve killed for your confidence - it never occurred to me that…you might need me to be there for you, too, okay?”

  I realize as I’m speaking that that’s exactly what Damien was saying - and that discussion we had weighs heavily in my mind as I try to talk to Vicki, to let her know that I’m here for her in the same way she’s always been here for me.

  “I’m sorry about that.” I say again. “It was stupid, and you’re right it was selfish of me, but…I just…I never thought.”

  I sigh deeply. I should have thought. That was my fault. But it just always seemed impossible
to me that Vicki wanted that too.

  “But I’m here now, okay? And I don’t know what’s going on with you, or what’s made you so upset - and I really hope it wasn’t me - but I just want to listen for a bit, okay? I just want you to talk to me. I’m your best friend, Vicki, I’ve known you my whole life and…and I can’t stand the idea of you being unhappy.”

  There’s a long pause, but I keep looking over at her anyway, waiting for something…

  This can’t be the end of our friendship. It can’t.

  She stopped eating ice cream at some point while I was talking and now she’s just staring into the tub, hitting the inside with the spoon over and over again.

  When she finally glances over, there are fresh tears in her eyes and she shakes her head. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen Vicki cry - and at least one of those was from happiness. The sight of it rocks me, like the foundations of my whole world are crumbling. I lean forward without thinking, the idea she might not want me to not even occurring to me as I wrap one arm around her shoulder.

  “Vicki, please. We’ve been friends for longer than I can even remember - don’t let us stop now. Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on - why you’re so upset.”

  “Why do you care, Ava? You’ve got Damien now - you’ve got a baby - a whole life. What does it even matter?”

  “You’re my best friend.” I say emphatically. “None of those things are the same as you.”

  “But…it’s all different now. Everything has changed for you and…and I’m exactly the same.”

  “What do you mean?” My brow wrinkles, confused.

  She lets out a long breath and I can feel something in her crack, some of the hardness and disinterest slipping from her.

  “You’ve got everything, don’t you see? It was okay when we were both in the same place, just getting by, struggling with things that weren’t quite working out, but now…you’ve suddenly got it all. You’ve got an amazing guy, a baby on the way, a beautiful apartment, a job lined up for you…I don’t know how but within a few months your whole life…you’ve just got everything.”