Rich Rancher for Christmas

by Sarah M. Anderson

  She braced herself and looked in the mirror. The candy-cane tights sealed the deal, she decided. That and the ears. Days ago, the thought of anyone seeing her dressed like this would’ve been horrifying. But right now it seemed like the perfect outfit. She was an elf.

  She found Doreen in the kitchen again. “They’re going to announce him in a minute,” Doreen whispered. “When he comes down the hall, you can join him. The presents are arranged by size. The big flat presents are for the toddlers, the thin ones are for the middle schoolers and the heavy books are for the teenagers.” Natalie must have given her a look because the older woman patted her on the arm and said, “CJ will know who gets what.”

  I hope so, Natalie thought as she peeked at the party. Senior citizens sat at tables and sipped punch and eggnog while kids and teenagers bopped around the postage stamp–sized dance floor. Desserts filled tables all along one wall—and people were eating them almost as fast as Doreen could carry them out.

  When the song ended, the band started playing another song to introduce Santa Claus. All the kids began to cheer as the lead singer announced, “Here he is, boys and girls, all the way from the North Pole, it’s the man of the hour—Santa Claus and his elf, Jingles!”

  Jingles? Natalie grinned as the band dropped its volume down to a whisper and the entire room seemed to hold its breath. Natalie was no exception. She was watching the hallway, waiting for her cue.

  One moment the hallway was empty. The next, there he was, ho-ho-ho-ing as he strode into the room. Natalie fell into step behind him as the entire room erupted into cheers. Adults and kids clapped as they headed over to a corner of the room that had been decorated with an enormous chair surrounded by piles of presents.

  It was just crazy. She took her place next to this throne—the only word she could use to describe it. Some of the parents with the smallest children jockeyed to be first on Santa’s lap. But CJ smiled and laughed and took time with each kid and then pointed to the book he wanted Natalie to hand over.

  Through it all she smiled and giggled and nodded as Jingles. With every gift she handed over and every picture she took—because a lot of parents were handing her their cell phones so they could crowd in the picture behind CJ—she laughed. She was laughing more tonight than she had in years. And laughing was easy. It was fun. There was no tightness in her chest, no clawing worry about what people were thinking, what they were saying about her. Because she knew. They were coming up to her and thanking her for being a part of the night, thanking her for making the kids smile—especially the ones who were a little scared of the big man in the white beard.

  Nobody knew who she was. And it was the most freeing thing she’d ever experienced. But more than that, people were nice to her for no reason. They weren’t going to get anything out of it, other than a fun family evening. And the same went for her.

  She hadn’t thought that people could still be nice. But the entire town of Firestone was proving her wrong.

  After two hours of intense Santa-ing, the community center began to empty out. Families had to get their children to bed so Santa could get to work filling stockings, and the older people had a long way to travel. CJ and Natalie weren’t the only ones who’d come in on snowmobiles and it was going to be a dark trip back.

  When the crowd was gone, CJ looked up at her and patted his lap. Natalie sat, grateful for the break. Happiness took a lot of effort.

  “And what do you want for Christmas, little girl?” he asked, grinning widely behind his fake beard.

  Natalie pretended to think about it. More than anything, she didn’t want this time with him to end. “I don’t suppose I could ask for another blizzard?”

  Something in his eyes changed—deepened—and Natalie felt warm all over. “Here,” he said, reaching underneath his seat and pulling out her—

  Her phone.

  She looked up at him in surprise. “You’ve been a very good girl,” he said and then he winked at her.

  She stared down at her phone. “Are you sure?” Because she’d half assumed he’d destroyed it—anything to keep her from exposing him.

  And now he was giving it back to her. In one piece, even.

  He didn’t kiss her. It probably wouldn’t do for Santa Claus to be seen cheating on Mrs. Claus with an elf. But he gave her a little squeeze. “I trust you,” he said in his real voice, low and for her ears only.

  Then another family approached and Natalie hopped up to get back to work. She almost didn’t turn the phone on. She wouldn’t have even thought about it if he hadn’t given it to her.

  A couple of men Natalie recognized from her time at the diner came up to CJ. “I need something to drink,” she told him and he nodded and smiled as he turned his attention to his friends. She could only hope they weren’t warning him about her.

  As she sipped a foam cup full of cooling cocoa, she stared at her phone. The temptation to turn it on was huge. Huge. But what if she did? What would be waiting for her? All the trolling vitriol that she’d come to expect? Angry emails from her producer, Steve, demanding to know where she and her story were? For a second, she even considered that her dad might’ve tried to call her and wish her happy Christmas.

  But worse—what if it was silence? No notifications, no messages? No...nothing?

  She didn’t want to see what people had been saying and she didn’t want them not to have said anything at all. God, what a mess. And this was her life.

  Behind her, CJ laughed with his friends. None of these people knew he was a Beaumont. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t famous. He was liked. That was...

  That was more valuable than she’d realized it was.

  A sense of peace filled her. Maybe she didn’t need likes and shares. Maybe she just needed him. She looked at the silly decorations and the sugar cookies and all the smiling people who’d slogged through snow to celebrate this time with each other. With her.

  She never wanted it to end.

  But of course, it had to. Nothing lasted forever, not even snow in December. She’d have to go back and tell her producer...something. She still didn’t know what. But when she left...

  She wanted a memory. Just one to remind her of the Christmas she’d spent with a grumpy, sexy cowboy. It would be enough. More than she’d had before she’d come to this town.

  As casually as she could, she turned on her phone and closed her eyes against the notifications. She opened the camera app and snapped a picture of CJ sitting on his throne. She caught him at just the right moment—his friends had moved out of the frame, but he wasn’t looking at her.

  She stared down at the picture. All she saw was Santa. The only parts of CJ that were visible were his eyes and she didn’t think even his own mother would be able to pick him out of a Santa lineup.

  But she’d know. She’d always know.

  Quickly, she turned the phone back off before she lost her willpower and started tapping through to the social media apps.

  When she glanced back at CJ, she caught him watching her. Guilt whispered that she should tell him she took the photo but she decided against it. It was for her and her alone. A perfect memory of a perfect Christmas.

  Someone came up to her and asked for an official photo of her and CJ for the county newspaper, so she put on her big smile and went to stand by him. Everything was fine.

  But through it all, she couldn’t shake one nagging feeling.

  She ruined everything. She always had.

  Would she ruin this, too?

  Eleven

  CJ woke up early—he always did on Christmas. Natalie was still fast asleep. It was Christmas morning and she wasn’t under the tree, but he’d gotten what he’d asked for.

  He grinned at himself. There was something not quite right about Santa asking himself for a present. But he wanted Natalie. And when she had asked for more snow instead of her phone?

  This probably wasn’t love. The thing was, though, he wasn’t one hundred percent sure that it wasn’t love. The on
ly other time he’d thought he’d been in love, he’d been wrong.

  He watched her sleep. The ride home from the party last night had been long and cold and he didn’t want to wake her.

  His thoughts turned to another Christmas, one about twenty years ago. He’d been thirteen and Hardwick Beaumont had made headlines again for divorcing another wife and keeping the children. CJ had always been dimly aware that Dad wasn’t actually his birth father because his mother had drilled it into his head that he was never to go anywhere with anyone named Beaumont. And he was dimly aware of the story his parents told everyone about how they met—his dad had been visiting Denver on leave from his stint in the army, met his mom and fallen in love so fast that he had married her quickly before he finished his tour of duty. After his honorable discharge, Pat had returned to Denver to find his wife waiting with an infant CJ. The way the story went, it was one of those love-at-first-sight things.

  But that wasn’t the truth. They hadn’t met while Pat was on leave—they had met after Pat’s discharge. CJ had already been four months old and his mom was desperate. Her family was deeply religious and when she’d gotten pregnant with him they’d disowned her. Apparently, Hardwick Beaumont had given her some hush money, but it was starting to run out and she hadn’t known what she was going to do until the handsome young soldier walked into her life.

  CJ’s parents had only told him the true story once, but he had never forgotten it. Even at the age of thirteen, he’d paid close attention.

  It had not been love at first sight. Isabel Santino had seen a handsome young man who bore a passing resemblance to her child’s father. But more than that, she had seen a handsome young man who would protect her and CJ. And Pat? His parents had died while he was in the service. He was suddenly in charge of a massive ranching operation that had been neglected for eight months. He had needed a ranch wife, basically. Isabel had applied for a job but somehow, she’d convinced Pat to marry her and give her son his name.

  Pat had not formally adopted CJ until he was three. By that time, Pat and Bell Wesley had fallen in love. The adoption, more than the wedding, had been the promise to love and protect their family, until death did they part. Not that anyone had known about the adoption, of course.

  At least, they hadn’t until recently. There’d only been a few whispers that’d reached his ears last night during the party—a few warnings that someone was looking for him and spreading rumors that he was a Beaumont, not Pat’s son. But people had been too preoccupied with the band and the spiked eggnog and CJ had managed to deflect any further questions with a simple “Yeah, I heard. I’m not worried.” And he hadn’t been.

  As he stared down at Natalie, her face soft with sleep, he wondered what the hell was going on between them. He honestly could not figure out if he was glad that she had barged into his life or not. If she hadn’t barged in, no one would ever have connected him with the Beaumont family.

  But then she wouldn’t be here with him now. He wouldn’t be wondering if there could be something more between them. Something that looked like love.

  He slipped out of bed. Out of the barn, he had the almost-finished wooden star he’d carved for his mom. He’d made up his mind—he was going to give it to Natalie instead. He meant to put one more coat of lacquer on it, but he could give it a light sanding now and put it under the tree. She hadn’t told him the details of her childhood—not in so many words. But watching her last night—hell, over the last several days—had made one thing clear.

  She hadn’t known what Christmas truly was. And he had to wonder if anyone had ever given her a gift. A real gift, one that had meaning and hope.

  She meant something to him. He didn’t have the precise label for it. But he didn’t need one.

  As he suited up and headed out to the barn to feed his horses and sand the star, he could only hope that he meant something to her, too.

  * * *

  Natalie woke up alone. Even though that was how she normally woke up in her own place, it still felt unusual here. It shouldn’t be possible that she missed CJ already, but she did.

  For a few moments, she lay there reliving not the Christmas morning her mom had left and not every painful Christmas call with her father in the last decade. For the first time in...well, forever—she had happy memories.

  Everything about last night had been magical. The sleigh ride down the middle of Firestone, handing out presents as Jingles—coming home with CJ and falling into bed with him...

  It was perfect. Too perfect, almost. There was such a sense of joy and peace surrounding her and CJ and this time that it felt dangerous.

  Last night, he’d made her feel special and wonderful. He’d lavished affection upon her—God, she’d never known sex could be that good.

  She’d never been in love. Honestly, it scared her a little bit. She wasn’t good enough for him. But, CJ being CJ, he made her think that maybe...

  What was she doing? It was Christmas morning! Full of hope and happiness and excitement! She might only ever get one shot at a perfect Christmas morning with a perfect cowboy and she wasn’t about to waste it lounging alone in bed. Besides, CJ was right—there was no future and no past. There was just today.

  And today—like yesterday and last night—was going to be a gift. One she would treasure for the rest of her days.

  Downstairs, she found CJ in the kitchen, sipping coffee. His cheeks were red and he had a strange smile on his face, one she couldn’t interpret.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Merry Christmas,” he said as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her fiercely.

  She sank into his kiss. In the here and now, at least, she had this and by God, she wouldn’t ruin it.

  “I think Santa brought you something,” CJ said when the kiss finally ended.

  Natalie shot him a questioning look, but he didn’t elaborate. Instead, he put his hand on her lower back and guided her toward the living room. He’d already plugged in the lights and he’d gotten a fire going. Natalie prayed for more than just a little snow.

  She wasn’t sure she ever wanted to leave. Not this place and not CJ.

  “How long have you been up?” she asked, marveling at the scene before her.

  For there, underneath the tree, was something small and golden. It hadn’t been there yesterday.

  “Go on,” CJ said.

  “But I didn’t get you anything,” she protested as she kneeled and picked up the...

  It was a star, a perfect golden star—the Christmas star. As she held it in her hands, her heart swelled. He had given her so much...but this? A gift under the tree for her?

  Her eyes filled with tears. “It’s beautiful,” she told him, blinking as fast as she could. From this moment on, she would always have a tree and she would always hang the star on it, no matter what. “I don’t deserve this.”

  “You are beautiful, and I think you do,” he replied, crouching beside her and putting his arm around her shoulders. “Natalie, I know this hasn’t been exactly normal, us getting to know each other, and I know you have to go back to your life in Denver, but...”

  She stared at him. He was serious. Not only was he giving her the perfect Christmas, but he also wanted to see more of her.

  Oh, God. She’d never fallen in love, never dreamed she could find someone who might possibly care for her in return—even a little bit.

  But she was falling for him. He was good and kind and thoughtful and...

  And she wasn’t. She was still Natalie Baker, wasn’t she? What if he put all this faith in her and believed that she was a good person and...

  And she ruined it, just like she ruined everything?

  “If you want to keep seeing each other...” he said, looking downright shy.

  She should say no. She should end this while it was still perfect, before she did something that made him hate her. Because she would. That was who she was and she had promised not to lie to him. Not anymore.

  But no was not what
came out of her mouth. Maybe she was weak. Maybe it was the fact that this was the best Christmas she could remember. Maybe she was just selfish.

  Whatever it was, she said, “Yes. I want to keep doing this.” All of it—not just Christmas. Riding out with him on his snowmobile. Feeding the horses. Snuggling under a blanket and watching movies. Even going to town and celebrating with all of his friends and neighbors—and especially coming home and going to bed with him. She wanted it all.

  She’d always wanted things she knew she couldn’t have—a happy family, friends who cared, a man she could love. He made everything feel like it was possible.

  She kissed him—hard. So hard, in fact, that she knocked him over. She pulled at his clothes and he stripped hers off in a frenzy. He wanted her. She didn’t deserve him but she wanted him, too.

  She wouldn’t screw it up. He was the best gift she ever could have asked for.

  They made love in front of the fire while the Christmas lights twinkled in the background. Afterward, they lay in each other’s arms and, for the first time, talked about the future. He could come down and spend the night at her place and she could come up on the weekends when she was done taping her show.

  Her show...

  No. She pushed that note of panic away even as she knew she couldn’t avoid harsh reality forever.

  She tightened her arms around CJ’s waist and forced her thoughts to focus on the good things. CJ wanted to keep seeing her. They’d be together.

  Oh, yes—she wanted to keep doing this.

  * * *

  That glow only lasted for so long. By the time they finished watching Miracle on 34th Street, doubt had slithered back into her mind in full force.

  It was Christmas day. The one day a year when she called her father.

  For a moment, she almost decided she wouldn’t do it. Why did she have to?

  But it was Christmas and he was her father. At least he’d stuck around. So she sort of owed him.

  “I’m going to call my dad to wish him merry Christmas,” Natalie said but she couldn’t even manage to sound excited about it.