My Heart Belongs in Castle Gate, Utah

by Dicken, Angie;

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. McKee.” She approached Leanna’s door wearing a summer straw hat held in place by a knit scarf tied beneath her chin. She looked quite ridiculous, but it was the best the woman could do on a miner’s wages. “May I come in?”

  “Of course.” She widened the door, shivering at the icy bite of the elements. Mrs. Coffey breezed past, taking her perch by the warm stove and untying her makeshift winter hat.

  “Would you care for some tea?”

  The woman didn’t answer and hung up her hat and scarf. “I never saw such a personal relationship between a teacher and her student’s family.”

  Leanna chose to ignore her and prepared another kettle of water. She’d taken the busybody’s unsheathing of winter clothes as a sure sign that she would stay awhile.

  “Is it not yet winter break, Mrs. McKee?” She traced her finger along the square edge of the windowsill.

  “It is.” She clenched her teeth. “I assume you are curious as to why the Greeks would dare visit me in broad daylight?”

  Mrs. Coffey laughed a thin, tin chuckle. “I suppose if you’re goin’ to volunteer the information, it’d ease mine and Mr. Coffey’s minds about why them folk are ’round these parts.”

  Leanna bristled, reluctantly placing two teacups on the table. She hoped Mrs. Coffey would decline the tea, gather up her things, and leave. But the woman sat in the chair, waiting for an answer.

  “It was my honor to assist in the birth of Penelope Pappas’s newborn son. It was a matter of providence that I happened to walk the children at the same time an extra pair of hands were needed to bring the child safely into the world.” With each word, she marveled as Mrs. Coffey’s stony facade crumbled into one of mortified shock. “They repaid me with some delicious cookies, which they brought today.” She reached for the tin on the counter and placed them on the table with a loud thud. Mrs. Coffey jumped. “Would you like to try one?”

  “Um, no.” Mrs. Coffey stared at the tin. “Truly? You assisted in a birth, Mrs. McKee?” Her face was suddenly vulnerable, childlike in a way.

  “I did.”

  “All these years I wanted a babe,” Mrs. Coffey spoke low, her attention still on the tin. “Ain’t ever worked for us. Course the only childbearing Greek in town gets three of ’em. Why doesn’t that surprise me?” A sour frown appeared on her face. When she looked up, she shook it away and glued the pieces of her usual facade into perfect stone.

  “They are mightily blessed.” Family and love. Prosperity really had little to do with it.

  If only I had known that with Jack….

  Would her bitterness have sprouted at his first mistake? Would she have pushed him to work so much, increasing the risk of accidents all the more?

  “Enough about them,” Mrs. Coffey blurted. “They are a thorn in the side of any American trying to make a decent living. Them strikebreakers are stealing our jobs. You ain’t goin’ to get me to agree otherwise.” She gripped her empty teacup and tapped a quick finger on the rim.

  “What is the purpose of your visit, Mrs. Coffey? To criticize my student’s family?” She was losing her patience. Just as she had done with Jack. Her anger was forming sharp words on the tip of her tongue. These walls had heard it all before. They knew her to be a haughty woman with an uncontrollable tongue.

  Guilt began to awaken once more, and she feared it would not stop its nagging anytime soon.

  “I assume you are going to the mining company’s winter dance next week?” Mrs. Coffey folded her hands on the table.

  “No, I am not.” She never went to any functions sponsored by the mining company. “I am planning on leaving—”

  “Mr. Coffey asked me to invite you to come along with us.” The woman shifted in her seat, refusing to look at her. “He’s got someone he’d like you to meet.”

  Her mouth dropped at the forwardness of her neighbors.

  “It ain’t that bad, Mrs. McKee.” Mrs. Coffey swatted her hand in the air. “You can’t live here alone forever. Ain’t you scared some dirty fob might take advantage, knowing that you have no male protection?”

  With your husband’s intrusive eyes, do I really have anything to worry about?

  Leanna stood up. “I am leaving after Christmas, if you must know. I have accepted a position in Salt Lake City.”

  The woman chewed on her lip. “Well, that’s interesting news.” She stood up and planted her hands on the table and leaned in. “But you should still go to the dance. There’s talk goin’ around ’bout you and that Mr. Pappas. People seen you walkin’ about town with him. It ain’t right.” She walked around the table and stopped beside her, stretching her neck to peer out the window. “My husband came home drunk as a skunk from the saloon the other night, cursin’ you and your Greek friends.” Her face turned from a gossiping old crone to a concerned citizen. “I fear he might find trouble with the law, things he was sayin’. Talkin’ about lynching and the sort.”

  Leanna’s mouth went dry. Would Mr. Coffey become a monster just because of prejudice and a little jealousy? Although she had read the papers and knew that men would take it into their own hands if American women were involved with Greek men.

  But not here. Not in Utah.

  “What good would it do,” Leanna nearly whispered, “if I go to a silly old dance?”

  “You’d clear the gossip for one thing. Just because you’ll leave doesn’t mean trouble’s over for the Pappas family. But dance with some American miners, prove you’re just a schoolteacher with a weak heart for immigrant children.”

  Weak? Leanna’s heart was stronger than ever. And it beat fiercely for the Pappas family, for Alex. With each encounter, her heart grew stronger. Even enough to consider staying.

  What was it about Castle Gate? She had ruined Jack’s life here, and now she might even destroy Alex’s life, too. And worse yet, risk hurting his family.

  It wasn’t Castle Gate.

  It was her.

  “I will go to the dance if that would lessen the presumptions.” She began to gather Mrs. Coffey’s items and handed them to her, one by one. “If you please, I would like to rest now. My stomach ails me.”

  “Mr. Coffey and I will escort you to the dance.” After buttoning her coat she barely looked at Leanna as she hurried out the door.

  There was one person she worried about in all of this—Alex. If he saw her at the dance, what would he think?

  She had been so close to giving in to his plan to stay and find a second chance at love in Castle Gate.

  But these walls—

  She didn’t deserve a second chance. Not when her failure at the first chance soiled her heart like coal dust on a miner’s hands.

  The chill lost its bite on the night of the company dance. Why had she agreed to this arrangement? When she had a husband, she didn’t go to such social things. What was the point now—mingling with miners and their families—when she would leave and never look back?

  More than that, though, she wondered if she would see Alex. They had not spoken since the night of the baby’s birth. What would he think of her attending a dance after refusing to stay for him? And even if he was there, she could not talk with him, knowing that there was a very real danger.

  Mr. and Mrs. Coffey waited at the end of her path. Their dark garb blended in with the dim evening, only their pale faces shone bright in the moonlight.

  “Good evening, Mrs. McKee,” Mr. Coffey said. He was more chipper than usual.

  For the briefest moment, her old bitterness for Jack transferred toward her neighbor, and she near-stomped down the walk, tempted to snap, “Let’s get this over with.”

  Instead, she said a prayer, managed a smile, and waited for them to lead the way.

  When they arrived at the dance hall, a small band played a lively tune, and several couples were on the dance floor. A reminiscent wave lapped along Leanna’s memory and she nearly checked her wrist for a dangling dance card.

  “There are the fellas.” Mr. Coffey gesture
d to a group of men. “Mrs. McKee, I’d like you to meet someone.” Her stomach twisted as Mr. Coffey grabbed at a scrawny fellow by the arm and marched him toward her.

  “Howdy. I am Mike Griffin.” The young man tipped his hat and flashed yellow teeth. Mr. and Mrs. Coffey headed to the dance floor.

  She plastered a smile. Perhaps she could find a nearby exit and slip out while they danced. As she scoured the place, a group of men in the back corner caught her eye—a handful of Greeks from the restaurant. She scanned their profiles for one tall, handsome, curl-topped man. The man she would have to say good-bye to sooner than later.

  Lord, give me strength.

  “Leanna? What do you say?” Mike came into focus again, his eyebrows eager and his mouth open like a dunce.

  “What?”

  “Can I have this dance?” He spoke with certain hesitation, as he should. He was no match for her. And he knew it. She deserved someone—

  You don’t deserve anything. Remember Jack?

  Alex had almost made her believe otherwise. Almost had her believing that she was worth loving. But the cold truth was that she had fumbled miserably in her first chance to love, and now the risk was too great to consider anything Alex had to offer.

  A figure moved toward them, from the direction of the gaggle of Greeks. She squinted. Was it Alex? The dimness of the room did not serve her well, until the man was nearly upon them.

  Familiar broad shoulders, the confident jaunt, the perfect hair, it was—

  “James?” Leanna stumbled backward.

  It couldn’t be.

  But James Winston Alcott of Boston, Massachusetts, shuffled around the puny miner and stood before her like some spectacular hero. Mike faded away. “What on earth are you doing here?”

  “My fairest Leanna Willingham—ahem, McKee.” James wore a cheeky smirk, bowing slightly. His emerald eyes sparked off a familiar tumble in her torso. “I have searched far and wide for you, my long-lost friend.” He straightened, clutching the edges of his pressed jacket just along the curvature of his puffed-out chest.

  “James Alcott. You did not answer my question.” Her nose found its rightful position, in a slight tilt to the rafters, and she carried herself as if she wore the latest fashion instead of her simple wool dress. “What are you doing here?”

  “Why, looking for you, of course.” He found her hand and held it to his chest. “You owe me a dance, remember?”

  “I—” That was so long ago. It seemed like a different life altogether. Well, it was in a way. Her first party of the season and she’d promised the last dance to James Alcott, the only man who had the appearance and personality to make her ridiculous debut worth pursuing. They never did reach the last dance, as James’s father suffered a stroke, right there in the parlor of the Preston mansion. And the next week Leanna met Jack and gave her heart away.

  “How is your father, James? I know it has been a few years.” She furrowed her brow in concern.

  James’s jaw twitched. “He is—” His gaze left hers and fell to his feet. “He is no longer with us.”

  “I am sorry.” She squeezed his hand.

  The band changed tunes, and couples began to flood the dance floor. His audible breath released the sore subject into the past.

  He gave a wry smile. “You, my darling, are stalling.” He held up her hand as if they were dancing side by side. “May I have the dance you never gave me?”

  “If you promise to explain your sudden appearance immediately after,” she said just as he playfully swung her away from himself and teasingly bowed, with her hand still cradled in his own.

  “Of course.” James laughed, and the handsome man captivated her just as he once had years before.

  Alex’s stomach was one large knot as he headed toward the dance hall. When he passed the turn to her house, he had to force his boots to head down Main instead. He had not seen Leanna in quite a while, and the way she’d left things, Alex wondered if he would ever see her again.

  This first day as foreman of the crew kept his mind busy—work had always been a welcome distraction. But the pushback from disgruntled miners having to take orders from a Greek only justified the reason Leanna refused to stay. Alex feared he could not work his way out of this. He could not think his way out, either—the only hope was prayer.

  He blinked several times and stared up at the cloudy sky that was as hazy as his willpower in all of this. He should just return home and spend the evening with Yanni and his family. But some of his friends urged him to come to the dance and celebrate his success. Since the only Greek women in town were home taking care of his new nephew, and American women would dance with their own men, the dance was nothing more than a change of scenery from the coffeehouse.

  This would be good medicine. He’d spend time with his friends and away from his thoughts. If his people could do anything better than most, it was celebrate.

  “Alex Pappas! You came,” Nick declared as he approached their corner in the loud dance hall.

  “Of course he did.” Another friend came up and patted him on the back. “He must show that he cares as our newest foreman.” He winked. A ripple of laughter went through the rest of them.

  “Or he came to watch that pretty bird who joins us at the restaurant from time to time.” An older gentleman nodded toward the dance floor.

  Leanna?

  He swiveled on his heel. The knot in his stomach tightened, threatening to fray at its strength. Leanna danced around the hall on the arm of a tall stranger. She was beaming and laughing, her attention only on her dance partner.

  And he was certainly not a miner.

  As the music swelled, she threw back her head and let out a tinkle of giggles that burned his ears. Who was this man? Why did Leanna look so comfortable in his arms? And why had Alex fought so hard to have her stay, if her attentions would flitter to another so soon?

  Her fit of laughter ended and she faced the man who held his hand at her waist. As if Alex’s hard stare had a magnetic pull, her eyes found his and all joy blanched from her face. How awful it was to be the one person to erase the light from such a face as Leanna McKee’s.

  His willpower was no longer a concern. He took heavy strides toward her.

  “I am surprised to see you here, Leanna,” he seethed, fully aware of her dance partner’s glare at his left.

  Leanna looked about like a frightened deer. “Please, Alex, do not do this here. You don’t realize the trouble it might bring—” She looked over her shoulder at the Coffeys who were still dancing.

  “Oh, believe me, I understand your concern about trouble. You’ve perfected such an excuse.”

  Her blue eyes pleaded with him.

  “Leanna, can I help?” Her dance partner placed his hand on her arm, sending a mad frenzy of anger through Alex’s chest. The manicured gentleman set a cool, reprimanding gaze in his direction.

  “Do not worry. I will leave you to finish your dance,” he said, now catching the eyes of those around them—including the gawking Coffeys.

  Fine. He’d give in to their scrutiny and leave.

  He stormed across the hall and out into the crisp night air. His heart was laden like a frail limb piled high with snow.

  A desperate prayer tumbled from his lips, one that had been ingrained in his heart since he was a child sitting beside his papa at church—the only prayer his family spoke aloud together.

  Thy will be done.

  All these years, Alex had found his own will to be sufficient in his pursuit. After all, the last time he’d prayed for God’s will, it led him to leave Helena to die alone.

  But perhaps that wasn’t all God then. Perhaps Alex depended too much on the counsel of men and less on the stirring of his heart.

  Faith was what gave Leanna the strength to continue on—and right now, Alex felt nothing but weakness. Every fiber in his being split with the truth that Leanna would never be his. The only way he could survive such knowledge was casting the effort away from himself.
He needed someone to take this from him.

  Thy will be done.

  At this moment, giving up his burden to the God he’d forsaken was his only choice. Would He accept such a prayer from Alex?

  Alex assumed He had, because somehow he continued to step away from the woman he loved—by no strength of his own.

  Leanna nearly ripped herself from James’s arms, but the Coffeys danced into view and she thought better of it.

  “You have quite a different class of friends here, it seems,” James said, staring down his nose at the group of men that Alex had left in the corner.

  “Class is nothing compared to the heart,” she mumbled.

  “You sound like a progressive.” James laughed.

  “You know that I am. Why else did I leave my parents?” She continued to watch the door Alex had gone through, while James sighed at her ear.

  What did Alex think?

  She knew what he thought. If he had known that James was an old friend, one she had not seen in a very long time, perhaps his envy would have faded. His hurt was so bright, it scorched her conscience.

  The music ended and everyone clapped.

  “Now it is my turn to hold up our bargain, is it not?” James placed her arm atop the crook of his and grasped her hand.

  “Of course.” She pushed away the urge to chase after Alex.

  James led her to a table, and she sat in the chair he offered. During her debut, she never sat so casually. It was difficult in the stiff dresses and tight corsets. Now she felt small next to the tall gentleman. There was no dress filling up the space.

  “Why are you here, James? We are quite an odd pair now, don’t you think?” She swatted at her wool skirt then tugged gently at the cuff of his jacket.

  “I still see the beautiful girl beyond that poor imitation of a dress.” He chuckled. “And, your family will be jealous that I have been first to lay his eyes on her, as well,” he marveled, studying her lips.

  “My family?” Her hand clamped on her chair as if the world would soon spin out of control. “Do my parents forgive me for leaving?”

  “Of course. They are worried for you. Your cousin from San Francisco wrote a letter of some urgency to your mother. Seems that she was concerned about you and your desperate situation.” He peeled away the layers of her heart, leaving her sitting there, vulnerable and embarrassed.