Between Love and Loyalty

by Shannyn Schroeder

“I have to go,” she whispered. “I miss you.”

  She disconnected before he could respond, but he answered anyway, “Miss you too.”

  And he spoke the truth. Going to the wedding would make what they had real. Show her family he wasn’t going anywhere. Now that her last name was out in the open between them, he had to figure out a way to let her know he and Aiden had once been friends. He just hoped she would be as forgiving over his secrets as he’d been of hers.

  Chapter 8

  Election night finally wrapped up and Fiona watched her father make his rounds shaking hands as people said their good-byes. Her feet hurt and her cheeks ached from the standing and smiling and faking of everything.

  But her dad was happy. Mom was ecstatic. Their lives would go on as they had for years. Over the past week, Fiona realized that her mom worried about losing who they were. Sure, part of it was about the status and the recognition, but she’d been a politician’s wife for so long, she didn’t know how to be anything else. Fiona wished her mother could recognize that she was more than a wife. She headed multiple charities and organized lavish fundraisers. Her mom had skills.

  When the last aide closed the door, Fiona collapsed onto the couch, grateful she’d booked a room at the hotel where her father had based campaign headquarters for the night. She kicked off her painful heels and decided to leave before her mother got any ideas about what she should be doing. All she wanted right now was a bed.

  Too bad Connor couldn’t share it with her.

  Hmm…maybe if she called and asked him to join her. Fiona jumped off the couch and scooped up her heels, newly invigorated by the thought of being tangled in luxury sheets with Connor all night. And they could spend the entire night together without upsetting the delicate balance of whatever they had going on because the hotel was neutral ground.

  Fiona grabbed her purse and said a quick goodnight to her mom and Aiden. She glanced around for her father, but didn’t see him. She turned back to her mom. “Can you tell Dad I said goodnight? I’m beat.”

  Her mother reached out and touched her arm. “Can’t you wait a little while longer? I’m sure he’d want to talk to you.”

  “I’ll see him tomorrow.” She didn’t want to get roped into spending any more time there than necessary, especially now that she wanted to call Connor. She slipped out the door and down the hall to her room.

  Fiona had barely wiggled out of her dress when a knock sounded at her door. She wrapped a warm, fluffy robe around herself and answered.

  Her dad stood, holding two ice cream floats, looking tired with his tie loose around his neck and the first buttons undone on his collar. She always liked the relaxed version of her dad much more than the buttoned-up lawyer. “Dad.”

  “You left before these were delivered. I wanted to have some time with my little girl.”

  It had been a long time since she’d spent time alone with her dad, that is, time unscheduled by her mother. “Are those root beer floats?”

  “Nothing but the best for you. Can I come in?”

  “Sure.” She opened the door wider and allowed him to enter. She locked up behind him, knowing she was giving up her opportunity to call Connor. She followed her dad to the table and took a seat. He had something on his mind and rather than poke at him, she waited.

  She swirled the straw around the melting vanilla ice cream and scooped some into her mouth. Then she leaned over and slurped the creamy root beer foam from the top of the concoction. The sweet flavor slid down her throat, evoking many pleasant childhood memories. Sharing root beer floats equated to alone time with Dad, usually late at night, so Mom wouldn’t know about the sugar splurge. Fiona smiled at the memories.

  “That looks good.”

  “What?” Fiona asked, breaking away from the past.

  “The smile on your face. I haven’t seen much of you lately, but when we’ve spoken, you haven’t sounded happy.” Her father mostly played with his float, much like he did years ago.

  She wondered why he always got one for himself if he never intended to drink it.

  “You know how I get with Mom, especially when she’s election-crazed. She’s always a little too obsessed with appearances, as if some tabloid or newspaper would actually want to follow me around, but when it’s election time, she acts like I could be the downfall of all things Cavanagh.”

  “She doesn’t really believe that.”

  “Could’ve fooled me.”

  “She just wants what’s best for you.”

  “She got to decide what was best for me as a child. I’m an adult now and I get to choose.”

  “Tell me about this new man in your life.”

  The casual statement made by anyone else wouldn’t have made her blink, but her dad’s eyes were far from casual. So much for the evening not being bad. “Aiden needs to keep his mouth shut.”

  Dad pushed his glass away. “Aiden is being a good brother. It’s his job to watch out for you.”

  Fiona snorted. Aiden had never been good at the big brother role.

  “He told me about this man, and he’s a poor choice, Fiona. You know I usually stay out of your personal life.”

  Another snort.

  “I do. Your mother is a different story.”

  He had her there. Technically, he did stay out of her personal life.

  “But I can’t ignore this. You need to stay away from Connor Duffy.”

  The use of Connor’s full name startled her. She’d never told Aiden his last name.

  In answer to her surprise, he continued, “How hard do you think it is for me to use my resources to dig up whom you’re involved with?”

  She was well aware of how he used his resources; every date she’d had in high school had to pass a background check. “You have no business digging into my life. I’m not you. I don’t want people ripping into my life all the time as if it’s their right. I shouldn’t have to suffer because of who you are.” She shoved away from the table. “I’ve had to live in your shadow for so long. Every relationship I’ve had was tainted by who my family is. Except this one. Until tonight, Connor had no idea who I was. I used Mom’s maiden name. He knew me as Fiona Wells, at least until he saw me standing beside you on TV tonight.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “Yes.”

  He stood now, shaking his head at her as if she was too naïve for her own good.

  “Dad, I know you think you’re looking out for me. But my relationship with Connor is between me and him. I don’t want to know what you think you know about him. If he wants to share something, he’ll tell me. Until then, I don’t care.”

  She walked over to the door and opened it. Her father followed.

  At the door, he said quietly, “I don’t want you to get hurt. This man will hurt you.”

  He kissed her forehead and walked down the hall. Fiona closed the door and leaned against it. Nagging feelings tugged at her. It wasn’t like her father to confront her about her choices in men. Since she turned eighteen, he’d been good at staying out of her business, unlike her mother.

  It made Fiona wonder what her father had found out about Connor. Maybe she should’ve heard him out. How bad could it be, though? If Connor were a rapist or something, surely her dad would’ve led the conversation with such information instead of saying Connor would hurt her. Those thoughts were crazy. She knew Connor wasn’t anything bad. She went to the bathroom and filled the tub with hot water and scented bubbles.

  Her emotions had been battered enough for one night. She’d soak and wash away the doubts. Connor was a good man. She knew it like she knew her father was a good man despite what the press printed on a regular basis. Connor had secrets, but so had she until tonight. He never pressured her to reveal them.

  What if Dad was right and the reason Connor hadn’t pushed was because he did know her real name? She sank into fragrant hot water. Being with him hadn’t felt like he wanted something from her, but what if? What if he was biding his time to see i
f her dad won the election? Could he be that deceitful?

  She closed her eyes and remembered the man who cradled her while they made love. The man who called tonight to check on her. He didn’t sound angry when they spoke. Maybe that was because he hadn’t been surprised to see her on TV or maybe Connor was just that even-tempered. She wanted to believe the latter.

  * * *

  A full week had gone by without seeing Fiona. They spoke briefly on the phone in rushed conversations. She’d apologized again for lying about her name and Connor asked careful questions about her family. She revealed so little. He learned more from the newspaper than from her. Although she’d come clean about her name, she still kept him at a distance. He wanted her to open up, let him in. He didn’t have the right since he hadn’t offered her the same, but if they were going to pursue this thing between them, something had to give.

  Campaign press was about finished and Fiona seemed excited about her cousin’s wedding. He attributed it to wanting to be with him. He’d gotten fitted for a rented tux. He saw no reason to buy something he probably wouldn’t wear again. No matter what happened between him and Fiona, he would never be welcome at her family’s functions and he had no other reason to own a tuxedo. Shit, he didn’t even own a suit.

  As much as spending the evening surrounded by strangers didn’t appeal to him, the thought of having Fiona in his arms again did. She might even convince him to dance with her. He began to feel like a kid going to the prom. He’d never made it to his. More important things to do, like get high and screw any available girl. Connor wondered what it would’ve been like if he’d had a real girlfriend in high school. Or if his father had lived to keep him in line. Things would’ve turned out differently. He’d be a different person.

  His doorbell rang and he checked the time. Max barked, and he shushed him. Connor wasn’t expecting anyone and it was earlier than Fiona’s usual late-night visits. Maybe she couldn’t wait any more than he could. Max stood by his side as he opened his front door with a smile on his face.

  Once the door opened, his happiness vanished because the face staring at him wasn’t Fiona’s but Brady Cavanagh’s. Fuck!

  Max growled. Connor stiffened his back and tightened his grip on the door, blocking Max from attack. “What do you want?”

  One of Brady’s gray eyebrows rose and Connor was struck by the fact that the man always looked dignified, no matter what he did.

  “I’d like to speak with you.”

  “Last time I let you speak to me, I ended up in prison.”

  “You were well-compensated for it.”

  His mother had been well-compensated, for which he was grateful, but he’d barely been tipped.

  “This is not a conversation I wish to have out on your porch. Hear me out and I’ll leave.”

  Connor wanted to slam the door in his face, but he thought of Fiona and the fact that he would have to spend time with her entire family tomorrow at the wedding. Starting a fight tonight would not be a smart move.

  He opened the door wider. Brady eyed Max and hesitated.

  “He won’t attack until I tell him to.” Connor would never admit Max wasn’t a watchdog. Pet him once and he was a friend for life.

  Brady sidestepped Max and walked into the empty living room. At least he’d finally gotten it painted. It couldn’t compare to what the Cavanaghs were used to. Brady Cavanagh was completely out of place standing in the stark room. Fiona never was though. He held onto that thought while he waited for Brady to start talking.

  “Looks like you’ve done all right for yourself in spite of everything.”

  “In spite of you, yes.”

  A muscle in Brady’s jaw twitched. “I know you’ve been seeing Fiona.”

  Connor didn’t respond. If Aiden knew, of course he would’ve told his father. He was surprised it took so long for Brady to interfere.

  “What do you want?”

  “I don’t want anything you’d offer.” Connor knew where this was headed and his stomach clenched.

  “Let’s not play this game. Everyone wants something and there are plenty of women for you to get involved with. Since you’ve chosen Fiona, you’re looking for something.”

  “I want my name cleared. I want the felony on my record erased.”

  “I can’t do any of that. We had an agreement which we both honored.”

  “I was nineteen. I had no idea what I was getting into or how it would affect the rest of my life. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a job when you’re an ex-con? I can never apply for any decent job because I can’t pass a background check.” No one ever warned him the past would haunt his every move.

  “What do you expect to happen now?”

  Connor shrugged. He didn’t have an answer because everything had changed for him. He thought he could use Fiona to get at Brady, but he no longer wanted to. He just wanted Fiona.

  The acknowledgement bolted through him, startling his brain. He retrained his focus on Brady.

  “How much will it take for you to leave Fiona alone?” Brady reached into his coat and withdrew a checkbook.

  “I don’t want your money. Lesson learned. You can’t bribe me to stay away from Fiona.”

  “You can’t possibly think it will ever be a serious relationship given our history. There are far too many skeletons between us.”

  “Those are your skeletons to deal with.”

  Brady tucked the checkbook back into his pocket. “So you’ve told Fiona about your past?” He waited a beat. “No, I didn’t think so because she would’ve said something to me when I spoke to her. Do you think she’ll have anything to do with you once she finds out?”

  “You have more to lose than I do if she finds out. It was your plan and your money that paid for it. I was a nobody suckered into your mess.”

  Brady stepped closer and Connor shoved his hands into his pockets. No matter what, he refused to hit the old man.

  “You brought my son into trouble. You were always the problem with the drugs and alcohol. He followed your lead.”

  A bark of laughter burst from Connor’s chest. “You seriously believe that? Is that the story you created or one Aiden told? I was far from an angel, but Aiden never needed any coaxing. He usually led the way to the party.”

  Connor suddenly realized that back then, Aiden had partied as a means to escape. Just like Fiona. Aiden had used drugs and Fiona used sex with Connor to escape being a Cavanagh. Too bad he couldn’t have seen it back then. “I think it’s time for you to go. You’ve said your piece.”

  “You’re making a mistake. I can make your life hell as much as I can make your life easy. You want a better job? I can make that happen. Continue to provoke my family and you’ll have nothing.”

  Connor swung the front door open and Brady left without another word.

  Maybe it was time to finally forget the Cavanaghs. He might not be able to clear his name, but he could use Brady to get a better job and move on. But he’d already allowed the Cavanaghs to eat up too much of his life.

  What about Fiona? A little voice in his head jabbed.

  He’d known all along that she’d been using him, but he hadn’t understood why. Although she’d said she was looking for sex, he knew it was more. She sought him out for escape, for normalcy. Having Brady Cavanagh in his house reminded him that Fiona would never be normal. She would always be a Cavanagh.

  There was no hope for him. For them.

  * * *

  Fiona dabbed at her eyes in the bathroom mirror. Happy tears were the worst part of a wedding and they happened to her every time. The banquet hall filled as people made their way through the reception line. Fiona wanted to fix her makeup before Connor arrived. She knew he wouldn’t show for the cocktails before dinner. It would be too much to ask him to mingle and make small talk with all of her parents’ friends.

  But the anticipation of seeing him tingled her nerves.

  They’d spoken multiple times since the election and with each c
onversation, she became more certain Connor was just who he’d always been. He wasn’t after anything from her. And she’d been right in telling her father to stay out of it. If Connor wanted to tell her something about his past, he’d do it in his own time.

  Just hearing his voice soothed whatever nagging ideas her father had planted.

  Tonight they would have a good time. She’d walk in front of her family with Connor and then they would leave and get reacquainted. She’d needed little doses of him to make it through the tedium of dealing with her family. Tonight, a small dose wouldn’t do; she planned to splurge. She might even get him to spend the night. His house, hers, it didn’t matter, as long as she could get her fill of him.

  Fiona left the bathroom and went to the bar for a glass of wine. Aiden watched her coming toward him as he leaned his back against the bar. She half expected him to leave at the sight of her. She’d been pretty cold and nasty to him for getting Dad to stick his nose in her relationship. But Aiden didn’t move. He simply sipped from his drink.

  She eyed the glass.

  He lifted it. “Coke. No rum, no vodka.”

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “You didn’t have to. Your look said it all. I’m clean. I haven’t had a drink in years. If I made it through election night without taking a drink, while all of Dad’s cronies poked at me to run in the next race, I’m sure I can handle a simple wedding.” He sipped again.

  She ordered her wine and although he tried to hide it, she noticed Aiden staring at her as she drank. She probably should’ve been more supportive and ordered a soda, but she still wasn’t feeling amiable toward him. He was right. He’d been sober for years. If he couldn’t handle being at a wedding, he shouldn’t be here. In the past, he would’ve skipped it.

  “When are you going to stop being pissed at me?”

  “When are you going to stop telling me how to live my life?”

  He set his glass on the bar. “You know I don’t try to, but—”

  “But nothing. I get enough of that from Mom. When you and Dad start in, I can’t handle it.”