Risk Worth Taking: Music For The Heart - Book Three

by Faith Starr

  Shadows of you

  are all that remain

  If only the real you

  could take away all my pain

  The real me currently sat at my mixing station, kicking myself in the ass for betraying Drew. She deserved the world.

  Did you mean what you said?

  Did you say what you meant?

  Why bother to ask

  I came, I saw, I went

  Even though I’d already heard the song multiple times, it didn’t get easier hearing the lyrics. The memory of Drew walking in and finding me with that slut still caused excruciating pain in my heart. I had learned over the years not to give a shit when it came to women. Fuck ‘em, move on. But not Drew. She had been the only exception to my rule.

  Find your truth

  I now know mine

  We were too young for a love like ours

  to stand the test of time

  That’s where she was wrong.

  I shook my head in disagreement, but I couldn’t look at her because I didn’t want her to see the emotions seizing control of me or how my eyes had started to water.

  Moving on

  the hardest thing so far to do

  Moving forward

  my hope is that you did too

  My hope encompassed the idea that we could move forward together like we should have done all those years ago.

  She finished singing the song.

  Talk about feeling stripped to the bone. I’d fucking erase all her pain if it was the last thing I did.

  I spun my chair around to find her wiping her eyes. I gestured for her to come to me. She removed the headphones and set them on the mic stand. She walked toward me, her hands clasped together. I patted my lap for her to sit on.

  “That was fantastic.” I praised her, not getting into anything heavy.

  “Do you really think so?”

  “I’ll let you hear for yourself. Now comes the fun part. Ready to mix it?” She nodded excitedly. “Excellent. Let’s do it.”

  We worked on the recording for hours.

  She couldn’t stop yawning. She checked her phone. “Shit. It’s so late. I have to be at work in a few hours.”

  “Why don’t we go upstairs and crash?”

  “I can’t.” She frowned. “I don’t have any clothes with me. I have to go home. Besides, my parents will freak if I’m not in my bed when they wake up in the morning.”

  This parental over-involvement in Drew’s private life required an intervention ASAP.

  “I love how the song came out. I can’t thank you enough for letting me record it. I had a blast. You made it sound amazing.”

  “No. You made it sound amazing. I just tweaked it.”

  “For hours. But still, thank you.”

  “Anytime.”

  28

  Drew

  Best night ever. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much fun we’d had in Logan’s studio during my drive home. He had the patience of a saint too. I’d kept screwing up, and he never once got frustrated or annoyed with my inexperience with recording. And the best part—he made it all about me. Such a selfless man.

  Entering my house, I remained mindful not to wake anyone. Tomorrow I would be functioning on about three hours sleep, but I didn’t care. Logan had totally made it worth my while.

  When my alarm sounded, I kept hitting the sleep button until my mother came in and ordered me out of bed, telling me I’d be late if I didn’t hurry my butt on up.

  “What time did you get home last night?”

  “I’m not sure.” I didn’t give specifics.

  “I thought you were just going to dinner?”

  “I was. What’s the problem?” I hadn’t intended to come off in such a crass manner.

  “What’s going on, Drew?”

  “Nothing. I have to get ready for work, so if you’ll please excuse me, I’m going to go take a shower.” I brushed past her and locked myself in the bathroom. I hated to sound so bitchy, but I didn’t want to be questioned. I guess a part of me felt protective over Logan, like I had to defend him because I knew she wouldn’t take the news about the two of us seeing each other again well.

  My parents weren’t exactly part of the Logan Trimble Fan Club, especially after we broke up. My mother used to preach how I could do better than a musician. What a hypocrite. The woman majored in musical theater but gave up her passion when my father got into vet school. One would think she would have respected Logan’s aspirations to turn his passion into a career, a successful one too. But no, she only saw the negative in him. Her problem now, not mine.

  As soon as I got dressed I left for work. My mother usually showed up midmorning, so I had a few hours reprieve from having to deal with her again.

  Eric sent me a text, saying he had seen the pictures online and wanted to meet up later, so I could fill him in on the situation. I agreed to meet him for dinner, unsure of what his response would be when I gave him details. I hoped I could persuade him to keep an open mind about the possibility of Logan maturing and acknowledging his past mistake.

  Mia, our vet tech, escorted a new patient to the front desk. The woman cuddled her Teacup Yorkie in her arms. Mia handed me the woman’s billing sheet. She reiterated the suggestions my father had given the patient regarding her dog, then left. I scanned the sheet, remembering the woman had brought her Yorkie in for an emergency visit, something about odd-eating behavior on her pet’s part.

  “Was Dr. Sanders able to help you with Logi’s eating issue?” I asked.

  “Yes. He thinks my little man here is picking up on my nervous energy at home.” She nuzzled and kissed him.

  I too felt her nervous energy, so I understood Logi’s problem.

  “I hope Dr. Sanders’ recommendations work with Logi.”

  “Yeah. Me too. You look familiar. Have we met before?”

  She moved on from the topic of her dog, now more interested in me for some strange reason. I had never seen this woman in my life.

  “I don’t think so.”

  She stared at me. It gave me the creeps.

  “Hmm… I know you from somewhere, but I’m having trouble placing where.”

  “It is a small town.”

  “No, not from here. Wait a second.” A big smile took shape. “I know where I’ve seen you. You’re the girl in the pictures getting hot and heavy with Logan Trimble from Steam, aren’t you?”

  Oh no.

  “I’m a huge fan of the band. This is so cool.” She bounced from foot to foot, her grin wide, teeth and all.

  Of course my mother had to pick that moment to approach the front desk. She stopped dead in her tracks, her body language speaking a thousand words, none of them nice. Mia’s ears perked up in the hallway. She rushed back to the counter to hear my answer. So much for keeping it quiet for as long as I could.

  “Please tell me about him.” Logi trembled in his owner’s arms, her animated movements jerking the little guy around.

  “I’m not comfortable discussing my private life. But I’ll make sure to let him know I met a fan.”

  “The biggest and best fan ever. I see him in concert whenever he’s in town or nearby.”

  My mother placed her hands on her hips, scowling at me.

  Yeah, yeah.

  I had all but hit my boiling point with her.

  Mia couldn’t contain her excitement but remained silent until I finished with the patient.

  “Dr. Sanders would like for you to schedule a follow-up appointment to make sure Logi doesn’t lose any weight. I can go ahead and make that appointment for you now.” I got back to business.

  She reviewed the calendar on her phone and scheduled one.

  “You’re pretty. I can see why he chose you.”

  She continued to stare at me. Something about her didn’t seem right. But still, she was a patient, so I had to treat her with respect. I gave her a polite thank-you.

  As soon as she exited the clinic my mother all but attacked me. How mortify
ing to be reprimanded at my place of work, about my private life nonetheless.

  “Is that where you were last night?”

  “Can we please discuss this later, Mom?” I prayed to God she’d give me an affirmative reply.

  Mia stood nearby, trying to hide her enthusiasm about me and Logan.

  “Oh, we’ll definitely discuss this later. There’s no question about that.”

  How dare she treat me with such disrespect. Did she not think I could make healthy decisions for myself? I didn’t need her permission on who I chose to date. Sure, I would love for my parents to be supportive, but did I need them to be? Hell, no.

  My mother bolted for her office, a gust of disappointment lingering behind her in the form of me. I didn’t give a shit.

  “Tell me, tell me.”

  Oh my God. I so didn’t want to do this. What happened to private moments being private? I guess in Logan’s world they didn’t exist.

  “I’m not sure if you know this, but Logan and I were in a steady relationship throughout our high school years.”

  Her jaw fell open. “Are you for real? You never told me that. I’m so jealous.”

  My past relationship with Logan, how it ended or why, wasn’t something I advertised.

  “So are you guys like, back together?”

  “I’m not sure what we are, Mia, so I’d rather not discuss it.”

  She sighed dreamily. “I love Steam. Joey Fine? OMG. I love the man.”

  “I’ll be sure to let him know he has another fan.” I shifted my focus to the patient billing sheets in front of me, not wanting a back and forth with her about the band.

  “Say what? You’ve met Joey Fine?”

  Ugh! Why wouldn’t she let me get back to work?

  “Yes. Logan and I dated for several years. He and the guys have played together since they were teenagers.”

  “Do you think you can get me a meet and greet? I don’t think you realize how much I love them.” She placed her hand over her heart.

  “I’ll see what I can do. But no promises, okay?”

  She bounced up and down like a teenage fan, then skipped down the hall to assist my father with his next patient.

  The rest of the day flew by. The hectic schedule helped because it meant I didn’t have to speak with my mother. I had an excuse whenever she tried to approach me. “Sorry, I’m busy.”

  I’d just finished checking out a patient when my phone signaled an incoming text.

  Logan: Hey gorgeous. What time do you finish work?

  Drew:Five.

  Logan: Can I take you to dinner?

  Drew: I would love for you too but I’m meeting up with my friend Eric. You probably remember him, Eric Fields, from high school? He used to hang out with us sometimes. We became the best of friends after you and I broke up. He’s a great guy.

  Logan: Rub it in why don’t you. Should I be jealous? Has he changed his ways?

  Drew: I think you should. He woke up one morning and decided not to be gay anymore. And he thinks I’m super hot. You have some stiff competition, buddy.

  My joke made me smile.

  Logan: I’m stiff all right.

  That wasn’t the joke I found comical but Logan took the opening to toss in a sexual innuendo. Hence, my grin widened.

  Drew: Funny too.

  Logan: But I speak the truth. You have that effect on me.

  He said the kindest things.

  Drew: Do you want to join us?

  Logan: I’m sure I’m the last person on earth Eric would want to have dinner with.

  Yup, his words rang true.

  Drew: I bet you could win him over.

  Logan: In which way are you referring?

  Invariably a tease.

  Drew: Are you trying to make me jealous?

  I could tease too.

  Logan: Is it working?

  Warmth spread across my cheeks. I felt so off-balance whenever I thought about or spoke to Logan.

  Drew: Sorry to say, in this case it’s not.

  Logan: Bummer. Why don’t you give me a call after dinner?

  Drew:Don’t tell me you’re afraid of Eric? Although he has bulked up a bit since you last saw him.

  Logan: I’m not afraid of anything, baby.

  Drew: My hero.

  Logan: Damn right.

  Drew: Fine. I’ll give you a call later.

  Logan: Very well. Hey, I listened to your song again. It sounds incredible.

  Drew:Thanks. I mean it. You’ve been so encouraging and supportive about it.

  Logan: You have talent. Don’t let it go to waste. You should let me give it to someone. I think it has potential.

  My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. He thought it had potential, good enough for someone in the music business to hear? I’d never expected to hear him say that, the ultimate compliment.

  Drew: I’m not sure about that. You know how I feel about performing in front of people.

  Logan: You wouldn’t have to perform in front of anyone. The song speaks for itself. Someone else could record the vocals. Even though your voice kicks ass.

  Drew: I appreciate the accolades. To be honest, I’ve never given this any thought. As I’ve told you, I’ve solely played and written for myself.

  Logan: Well, maybe it’s time to think outside the box. You have a gift. Share it with others.

  Drew: I’ll think about it.

  Logan: You do that. I’ll speak to you later.

  Writing had always been my escape, my outlet, a mechanism to purge my feelings by putting into words what I found difficult to say out loud. I discovered writing about them could be both cathartic and healing. And if anyone had the connections to get my songs into the right hands, Logan did. But sharing my innermost thoughts with others? I wasn’t sure how I felt about putting my life out there for others to scrutinize.

  I’d have to give his suggestion serious consideration. But later. Another patient entered the clinic and needed my attention.

  29

  Logan

  Trevor, Dani, and I indulged in a late lunch together. Joey would be returning from his trip with Teva the following day. Things would pick up speed after he came back, and my free time would lessen.

  Camilla requested a meeting with the band to discuss our schedule for the upcoming weekend in NYC as well as pertinent information about resuming our tour. She also wanted to discuss the video shoot, and our planned visit to the hospital, something that ripped me to shreds; nothing worse than seeing kids fighting for their lives. It truly brought things into perspective and made me grateful each and every day I had my health.

  “So, are you and Drew back together?” Dani took a bite of her hamburger.

  “We haven’t really talked about what we are. All I know is I can’t get enough of her. I want to see where things go.”

  Trevor flashed me a half-smile. “What are the odds of Drew showing up at the same ranch as you, the same week?”

  “Maybe it was fate.” Dani sighed, clasping her hands together, forever a romantic.

  “I don’t know, but I can definitely say it feels like we’ve picked up where we left off.”

  Dani frowned. “If I recall correctly, you didn’t leave off on such good terms.”

  “Minus that part. Trust me, I’m surprised she even gave me the time of day.”

  “Me too. You guys were inseparable. I have to say it took me a while to forgive you for the shit that went down and how you disrespected her.”

  Throw more guilt into the pot. Trevor’s words adding a shitload.

  “I know. I fucked up. I’m trying to make things right.”

  “I hope it works out for you guys. Drew always was a nice girl. I’d love to see you settle down and stop with all the nasties.”

  What nerve Trevor had for chuckling at Dani’s comment. Prior to being in a relationship with her, he had engaged in more than his fair share. Sure, for the most part he’d kept his trysts hidden, but the guy was far from
celibate. My how things had changed for him. For the better.

  “Go ahead and laugh, asshole. Your past doesn’t portray a pretty portrait either.” I put him in his place to silence him.

  He put his hand up in surrender, clearly not wanting to go down that road with Dani sitting next to him.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Only the part that includes me.”

  “Damn right. That’s the only part that counts when it comes to women and my past.”

  She smiled wide at his response and rested her head on his shoulder. What a fucking pussy he had become.

  “No comment.” I looked him square in the eye. I would never throw him under the bus, especially when he tried to impress his girlfriend. “So you guys ready for New York?”

  “I’m excited. Trevor and I are going to catch a Broadway show.” Dani dug into her food again.

  Things had certainly changed. Trevor, Joey, and I used to party hard whenever we had a break, but now two-thirds of our group was tied down.

  Thoughts about the video flashed through my mind. The director expected me to kiss and grope the hired model, since Trevor and Joey refused. When I originally agreed to do it, I had no issues with it. Engaging with models during video shoots usually ended up with me bringing them back to my hotel room. Therefore, I never had any complaints about doing so.