In the Distance

by Eileen Griffin

  What could I say? I don’t understand. I don’t understand how my best friend won’t back away from the grill for one fucking minute to celebrate with me.

  Instead, I said nothing and looked over his shoulder back into the kitchen. Because really, there was nothing to say that we hadn’t already said. There was a part of me that knew I was being a selfish bastard for asking him to leave just so I could get my party on, but a larger part of me was simply hurt. As much as I knew I was no longer in love with Jamie, a huge part of me still mourned the friend who had been by my side for eight long years.

  “I’m really happy for you. I knew you and Natalie would be a great fit. And I want to celebrate, just not tonight during the middle of a rush. Why don’t we plan on breakfast at Oddfellows?”

  When I finally met his gaze, his eyes said what he couldn’t. That if I was truly his friend, truly happy he and Ethan were together and their restaurant was flourishing, I wouldn’t make this harder than it had to be.

  I was saved from making a total whining ass out of myself when Tyler approached us on the way to the locker room, his hands already untying the apron, a normal white one, from around his waist. The kid looked like he’d rather be anywhere than near us. He kept his eyes forward, not even pausing when Jamie reached out and patted him on the back as he passed. Tyler ducked his head, but I still caught his smile before he entered the back room.

  When he was gone, I crossed my arms over my chest and turned my attention back to Jamie. “Will it just be the two of us at breakfast? Or will your better half be gracing our presence by bringing his own personal ray of sunshine with him, complete with his surlier-than-thou attitude?”

  “Ethan will love that description of him, but no, it’ll just be the two of us.”

  “Shit, is he still holding a grudge about what happened last year? What do I have to do to show him all that crap is behind us? I swear I’ll be on my best—”

  “Hey, it’s not that.” He cut me off by placing his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently. “Trust me, he’s over it. He doesn’t really have a choice but to get over it. I might have married him, but you’re still my best friend.”

  Just then, Tyler walked out of the back room dressed in a green long-sleeved thermal shirt and black jeans, his chef whites and apron nowhere in sight. An idea suddenly popped into my head.

  Without taking my eyes off Tyler, I casually said, “No worries, J. Breakfast tomorrow sounds great. Hey, Tyler. Wanna celebrate my good news with me tonight? My treat.”

  The look of surprise on his face was priceless.

  “Um, I’m not sure. I just got off a double.”

  “Perfect timing. I was just leaving myself. I already have a reservation at a place I’ve been wanting to try while I’m here, but since Jamie here has denied my request to wine and dine him, and I can’t very well wine and dine myself, you can join me so I don’t look like an utter moron when I try to toast myself.”

  “I’m not sure. I mean, I don’t want to put you out. I know you probably have someone else you’d rather—”

  He looked uncomfortable and I felt like a jerk. I was opening my mouth to tell him it was fine if he needed to go home, but then Jamie spoke up.

  “Trevor, I’m sure Tyler is tired after working a double. We’ll celebrate tomorrow morning.”

  “Actually, I’m not that tired.” Tyler’s face no longer had that deer-in-the-headlights expression. Now he just looked pissed.

  “Sorry, folks,” Ethan butted in, “but in case you haven’t noticed, it’s Saturday night and we’re getting slammed. So, if you’ll excuse us, Trustfund, I need my husband’s help before all our asses are in the weeds. And you,” he said, pointing to Tyler, “need to head home and get some rest. Pulling double shifts on top of studying for final exams is a surefire way to run your ass down. Sorry, Trustfund, but your ass isn’t worth him getting sick.”

  What in the actual fuck?

  I turned to give Ethan a big ole fuck you for even insinuating I’d do anything to harm Tyler, but Tyler beat me to the punch when he turned and stuck out his chin defiantly in Ethan’s direction.

  “I’m not run-down. It’s true I’ve done nothing but study and work for the past two weeks, but I can make my own decisions.”

  I watched in morbid fascination as Tyler turned to face Ethan.

  “I know you and Jamie mean well, but I’m not the same kid you found behind your restaurant. I don’t need rescuing.”

  Tyler’s words had obviously taken Ethan by surprise. “I’ve never thought of you that way. Jamie and I just want what’s best for you.”

  Tyler turned his back on both Ethan and Jamie to face me, his face still pale but resolute.

  “You know what? I’d love to grab dinner and celebrate your news and the end of my finals with you. You still remember where I live?”

  I wanted to whoop at the top of my lungs at Tyler defending himself, but instead I just smiled. “I’m sure I can find it. Seven work for you?”

  Without looking at his bosses, Tyler nodded and walked out of the kitchen.

  “Trevor.”

  I kept my eyes focused on the back door, not wanting to face Jamie just yet. Ethan’s comment still hadn’t left me, and I wasn’t too sure I’d be able to keep my temper if I talked to either one of them right now.

  “Trevor.”

  I sighed and slowly turned around. “What? Do I have to sign some kind of permission slip to take the kid out to dinner? Last time I checked, he was old enough to make his own decisions.”

  Ethan was seething, but one touch from Jamie on his forearm had muzzled him. At least for now.

  “Look, Trev. It’s not that we don’t trust you...” Jamie paused to glare at Ethan over his shoulder. “But—”

  “I’ve always known Ethan thinks I’m a sorry sack of shit, but I gotta say, I never expected this from you. Did I do something last time I was town to make you fear for Tyler’s safety? Did I secretly scandalize him in some unmentionable way that was so fucking horrific even I don’t remember doing it?”

  “Watch it, Trustfund,” Ethan growled.

  “No, you watch it, Martin. I’ve tried to make amends for trying to come between you and Jamie, but I’m tired of beating a dead fucking horse. I may not be your favorite person on the planet—”

  “That’s the fucking understatement of the year.”

  “Ethan! Enough!”

  Ethan glared at Jamie, but at least he’d finally shut up. I looked at Ethan, finally saying what had been building for the past few months.

  “Look, I know you’ll never trust me, and you know what? I’m A-O-fucking-kay with that because your opinion doesn’t mean shit to me.”

  I turned my attention to Jamie, so done with dealing with Ethan, it wasn’t even funny.

  “But you. You know I’d never do anything to hurt that kid. At least, I thought you did.”

  Guilt flashed across Jamie’s face, but at the moment, I didn’t care. I hoped he felt guilty. He’d managed to make me feel like shit for something I hadn’t even done.

  “Screw this. I’m out of here. Thanks for the pep talk, Martin. We’ll have to do it again soon. And don’t worry about breakfast, J. I’m sure you have better things to do on your morning off.”

  Without another word, I turned and walked away. Behind me I heard, “No. I’ve got it.”

  Jamie’s hand landed on the swinging doors just as I pushed them open. I expected him to call me out on what had just happened, but instead, he walked across the dining room with me, smiling and waving to a few customers before we both exited the restaurant.

  As soon as we were outside, I felt his hand on my elbow. “Trevor.”

  “I’m too tired to fight anymore, so go ahead and tell me how much you don’t trust me and then we’ll both be on our way.�
�

  Jamie leaned against the side of the restaurant, his gaze following mine as I looked across the street to my getaway car. I gave up on the idea of a clean escape and leaned back against the wall next to him.

  “I never said I didn’t trust you.”

  “You didn’t say it, J, but the sentiment was there. I know you guys are protective of Tyler, I get that. Hell, I’m glad he has people looking out for him. But he’s not a kid, J. I know you guys want what’s good for him, but maybe what’s best for him is for you guys to finally let him grow up.”

  Jamie was silent for a few more moments, and then sighed. “You’re probably right. Just promise me you won’t fuck him over. He’s been through enough shit for one lifetime.”

  “You worry too much. It’ll be fine. No fucking over, or any fucking of any kind tonight.”

  The tension in Jamie’s shoulders began to bleed away as a small smile spread across his face. “And we’re still doing breakfast tomorrow morning. Things might have gotten screwed up tonight, but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you and Natalie.”

  It wasn’t what I’d expected when I’d pulled up to Bistro 30, but I really was tired of fighting with him. “Oddfellows at nine o’clock?”

  Jamie pushed away from wall and headed to the front doors of the restaurant. “Can’t wait. See you tomorrow.”

  Tomorrow he would no doubt want a full report, but I didn’t want to think about tomorrow right now. I wanted to focus on tonight and how much I was looking forward to going out with Tyler to celebrate. It wasn’t a hookup. I’d meant it when I promised Jamie that Tyler wouldn’t be a fuck and chuck. It was a night out to celebrate with a friend. Nothing more.

  Chapter Nine

  Tyler

  “Shit.”

  Trevor’s business card wasn’t in any of the drawers in the apartment. I’d checked the dirty laundry basket and no luck there. It wasn’t stuck on the fridge, near the phone, in one of my books or anywhere else. How hard was it to find one small card? I’d accepted Trevor’s invitation on impulse, but now that I’d had time to think, I wasn’t sure I could go through with it.

  Ethan and Jamie thought it was their responsibility to look after me, and most of the time I didn’t mind it. My own family hadn’t given two shits, so it had been almost too good to be true when Ethan had taken me under his wing, protected me and stayed late to practice new techniques with me time and time again.

  When Bistro 30 had finally opened with Ethan and Jamie as co-executive chefs, I’d worried it would be awkward working for Jamie. But during his first night as the solo chef in the kitchen, he’d treated me just like Ethan had. Ethan and Jamie stayed away from questions about my personal life, instead only offering advice about school or finances when they thought I needed it. I’d accepted their brotherly concern, and in return, I’d thought they would accept the decisions I made on my own.

  At least I’d thought so until tonight when Trevor had walked in and asked me out to dinner. I’d survived six months on the streets before I’d ended up at Sharpe’s. Ethan’s insinuation that I wasn’t able to make good decisions had pissed me off. It was my decision who I went out with, no one else’s. And because of that, here I was, supposedly getting ready to go out to dinner with Trevor.

  I sat on the floor and flung my backpack aside. The truth was, even though I was freaked-out about dinner, I didn’t want to cancel. I’d been awkward and quiet the last time we’d gone out and a part of me wanted to show him I wasn’t a social reject.

  Steeling my resolve, I got up and took one last look in the bathroom mirror. I had no idea where we were going to dinner, but I was certain it wasn’t one of the hole-in-the-wall places I went to, where the daily specials were cheap and the refills on coffee and Coke were free. I’d dug through my closet, but my budget barely covered food and bills, let alone new clothes. In the end, I’d decided on the burgundy button-down Claire had given me last weekend as an early Christmas present and my best pair of jeans, which meant the only pair I owned that didn’t have a rip or hole.

  Who was I kidding? It would be better for everyone if I just canceled now. I pulled out my cell phone to call Jamie for Trevor’s number, but then a knock sounded at the door.

  For a split second I considered not answering, but I’d never been a coward, regardless of what my parents had said. I took one last look in the mirror and sent up a silent prayer that I’d make it through the evening without making a fool out of myself.

  Trevor was poised to knock again when I opened the door. He’d changed clothes and it took everything in me to keep my mouth from gaping at him like an idiot. Earlier, he’d worn a simple light blue button-down and slacks. Tonight, he wore a tight black V-neck sweater that hugged his chest and abs perfectly and a pair of black jeans that looked like they were specially made for him.

  “You ready to celebrate my mad skills as a manager?”

  I cleared my throat. “Sure.”

  If he noticed how nervous I was, he didn’t mention it. “Good, because I’m starving. I entertained the idea of ordering a few extra desserts to drop off at the restaurant on our way home as a peace offering. But then I remembered Ethan’s an asshole and that idea died a quick and painless death.”

  I blurted out, “He can be an ass, but underneath it all, he’s a good guy. At least, he’s been good to me.” When he wasn’t acting like an overprotective douche.

  Trevor nodded. “I agree. He has.” He paused, as if struggling with what he wanted to say. “He’s been good to Jamie, too. But tonight’s about having a nice time, which means no more discussion of Ethan’s charming personality.” He tilted his head toward the stairwell. “Ready to go?”

  No? Yes? Maybe?

  I locked the door behind me as I watched Trevor walk down the stairs. One glance at how well those black jeans fit made my dick stir. As I watched the tug and pull of the denim over the swell of his ass, I questioned my decision-making skills. But I followed him anyway, cursing cute guys in tight black jeans and the effect they had on the only part of my body that seemed to be working tonight.

  * * *

  Half an hour later, I found myself at Dizzy’s, trying to keep the shock off my face as I looked over the menu. The price of one appetizer was more than I spent on an entire meal on the rare occasion I ate somewhere other than Bistro 30 or at home.

  “Good evening. My name is Crystal and I’ll be your server this evening. May I get you gentlemen something to drink? One of our local beers? Some wine? Something stronger, perhaps?”

  I glanced up from the menu to see a beautiful brunette smiling at Trevor. Everything about her expression screamed she’d happily take Trevor’s number instead of his order. True to form, he flashed a brilliant smile at her. “I’ll take a scotch and water on the rocks.” He shifted his smile to me, making it almost impossible to focus on the menu.

  “What do you want to drink, Tyler? Order whatever you want, the night’s on me.”

  My mouth instantly went dry. I dropped my eyes back down to my menu, pretending to consider my beverage options as I felt the heat spread across my neck and cheeks.

  “Um, I’ll just have a Coke.”

  “A Coke? Are you sure? If you’re worried about either of us drinking too much, we’ll call a cab and I’ll have Jamie drive me over to pick up my car in the morning. Seriously, order whatever you want.”

  I closed my eyes, willing myself to be anywhere but here. When I opened them, my stomach sank with the realization I wasn’t going to be able to get out of this easily. Without looking up at either Trevor or the server, I repeated, “I’m sure. I’ll just have a Coke.”

  “Not even a glass of wine? Come on. Don’t make me celebrate alone.”

  I took in a deep breath and steeled myself for the mortification that would inevitably follow as I lifted my eyes to meet Trevor’
s. “My birthday’s not until June.”

  His eyes narrowed in confusion, then widened as the realization of my age hit him. I’d grown up hard and fast while I was on the streets, but none of that mattered now. The only thing that did matter was he was easily ten years older, and now he knew I was practically jailbait.

  Trevor tilted his head and the surprised expression faded.

  “Scratch the scotch, Crystal, and make that two Cokes.”

  “No problem, sir. Did you both need a moment to look over the menus some more?”

  There was a pause. No doubt Trevor was waiting for me to answer. After a brief pause, he said, “Why don’t you give us a few more minutes to make our decision.”

  “Of course. I’ll be right out with your drinks.”

  The server walked away.

  “It’s no big deal, ya know,” Trevor said casually.

  I sighed and picked at the corner of the menu. “It is when you feel like the only kid sitting at the adult table.”

  He looked at me like I was crazy. “Have you met Ethan? I’m pretty sure he’ll be stuck at the kids’ table for life.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  His smile softened as he leaned forward to rest his forearms on the table. “I do, but it really isn’t a big deal.”

  I shifted uncomfortably. “That’s easy for you to say.”

  “It’s the truth. So you can’t legally order a beer? Who the hell cares? Most times drinking leads to some stupid shit not even middle schoolers would do.” He shook his head and laughed. “Yeah, really stupid shit. But, my lips are sealed since Jamie has as many stories on me as I do on him. Now that I think about it, remind me to make Jamie swear an oath of silence about our first few years in New York.”

  I quirked my eyebrow up and leaned forward, slowly relaxing for the first time since we’d entered the restaurant.

  “Nope. I refuse to further incriminate myself on the basis that it will inevitably give Ethan more ammunition. Thanks, but no thanks.”