In the Distance

by Eileen Griffin

  “Oh my God.”

  Trevor’s hand released his grip on my now-flagging erection, but his fingers inside me continued their maddeningly slow pace.

  “You’re beautiful when you come.” His eyes were hooded, the deep brown barely perceptible in the dark.

  My first instinct was to shy away from the compliment, to tell him there was nothing remotely beautiful about me. But he silenced any protest with his mouth, teasing my lips with his tongue at an even torturously slower pace than the fingers that continued to work me.

  “You are. That time you were spread out under me completely naked and writhing with my hand wrapped around you? I’d never seen anything more gorgeous in my life than the sight of you finally letting go.”

  Once again, goose bumps raced over my skin, but this time it wasn’t from the cold. This time it was from the hunger in his voice, the tender yet deliberate slide of part of him inside me. I’d wanted him the last time he’d been here. I’d been ready to give myself to him. But I realized I hadn’t been ready, not completely. That feeling paled next to how much I needed him right now. I’d fought it for too long, struggled with my own insecurities and trust issues. With his fingers stretching and circling inside me, I didn’t want to fight it anymore. Whether this would last a day, a week, or forever, I wanted to give this part of myself to Trevor.

  “I want...” I cleared my throat and tried again. “I want to let go. With you.”

  His answering moan rumbled across my lips, and then he moved away, pulling his fingers free from my body and sliding off the bed. The loss of him left me aching, almost as much as it had when he’d first entered me. Was this how it would feel when he boarded his plane back to New York? Probably worse. And yet, there wasn’t a single part of me that contemplated ending our night right here and now. With more certainty than I’d felt in a long time, I wanted Trevor.

  When he returned to the bed, I leaned up on my elbow and let my gaze travel from his face to his chest to his erection, now sheathed in a condom. Trevor came to the bed, set the lube next to me, then lay down behind me, placing soft kisses along the back of my neck and shoulders.

  I closed my eyes at the first touch of his hand on my dick, each stroke making me harder. His fingers trailed down below my balls and made a slow circle around my hole. This time, when he pressed forward, there was no pain. He stopped only briefly to pour out more lube, then resumed his slow shallow thrusts. Soon, I was pushing against his fingers, my dick already filling with blood again.

  Just when I thought I’d go crazy if he didn’t thrust harder, he withdrew his fingers and turned to his side, pulling my back against his chest.

  More light kisses rained over my body, each one leaving a trail of heat along my skin. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you right now, but I don’t want to hurt you. If it’s too much, tell me and I’ll stop. There are plenty of ways for us to feel good, and since I don’t plan on leaving this bed anytime soon, we can explore each and every one of them.”

  I looked over my shoulder, stunned by the look in his eyes. There was lust and hunger in them, but there was also something I’d never seen from anyone before. Reverence. Like the way Ethan and Jamie looked at each other when they didn’t realize anyone was watching them.

  “What if I don’t want you to stop?”

  The skin around Trevor’s eyes crinkled as his smile turned into his trademark smirk. “Not even I’m that good.”

  His laugh joined mine, and suddenly, all the tension I’d been holding on to since he’d first touched me faded.

  Pulling on the last reserves of my confidence, I whispered, “I’m glad it’s you.”

  Trevor’s smirk faded into a small, but genuine smile. “Me, too. More than you know.”

  He kissed me one last time, then ran his hand over my shoulder and arm to my leg, pulling it up to my stomach. When I felt him arch his hips against me, I knew this was it. I’d seen a few pornos that Ethan left behind when he moved out of the apartment, but nothing could have prepared me for this. It was so much more than just the physical act. My stomach churned with nerves, anticipation and love. I wasn’t brave enough to tell him yet, but from the moment he’d showed up at the garden in his thousand dollar shoes and knelt alongside me in a patch of dirt that meant nothing to him, my heart had been his.

  Trevor brushed my earlobe with his lips and whispered, “Breathe deep and bear down.”

  Too overwhelmed to speak, I simply nodded. I felt his fingers spread more lube along the cleft of my ass, then pressure as his dick nestled against me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then I felt him push forward. I clenched my hands into fists as he kept pushing until I knew he’d made it past the tight ring of muscle, my breaths coming fast and shallow as the stinging pain spread through me.

  “Breathe, Tyler. I’m not moving until you breathe.”

  Trevor ran his hand over my chest and arms, softly whispering how beautiful I was and how good he felt inside me as I drew in ragged breaths. With one last breath, I tensed my muscles around him and then pushed back against him. The pain was still there, but it had dulled enough to allow me to focus on the magnitude of what we were doing.

  “You okay?”

  I took another deep breath, then turned my face to his. “More than okay.”

  Trevor captured my lips with his as he slowly pushed into me, each increment laced with both pain and the most pleasure I’d ever felt. Every few seconds, Trevor would pause, allowing me to stretch around him, then press a fraction more.

  Once he was fully sheathed inside me, he dropped his head to my back, his ragged breaths fanning out across my skin. “You feel incredible. I knew it would be good, but it’s so much better than good.”

  I wanted to answer him. To tell him this was so much more for me, too, that even though it scared me, I couldn’t deny it anymore: I was falling in love with him. But the words caught in my throat when he began to move. Each thrust sent shock waves through my body sending me higher. Trevor’s breath was hot and ragged against my neck, the sounds he made forever imprinted on my brain.

  My eyes slammed closed when I felt his lips trail over my neck and I shivered when he nipped my shoulder. I reached back, sliding my hand into Trevor’s hair as I stopped thinking and just felt. His lips brushed the inside of my wrist and I cried out as he thrust deep. His rhythm faltered and he murmured, “So good, Tyler.”

  When I felt his free hand wrap around my aching cock, two strokes was all it took as I arched against him. My fingers tightened in his hair as I felt pleasure roll through my body, so good I could feel my toes curl against Trevor’s legs.

  With a ragged moan, Trevor’s hand left my cock, flattening against my stomach. His rough thrusts as he lost control sent renewed heat through me and I held on tight. With a low cry, he stiffened against me and I felt him shudder as he came.

  We lay there, panting and sweaty for a few minutes as Trevor smoothed his hands over my skin, his soft kisses against my hair and the lulling motion making me sleepy.

  He pulled back, pressing a kiss against my shoulder and murmuring, “Be right back.”

  My eyes closed as I heard his footsteps and the toilet flush in the bathroom, then water running in the sink.

  When he slipped back into bed beside me, I turned and met his gaze.

  His intense look as he pushed my hair off my forehead made me wonder what he was thinking at the moment. “No regrets?”

  I shook my head, “None. There’s nothing I’d change about you and me, Trevor.”

  His look faded into a sad smile, but it was gone in an instant as he pulled me close. “You know what comes next, right?”

  “What?”

  “The cuddling.” He said the words in a serious tone but the playful spark of humor in his gaze and the wiggle of his eyebrows made me laugh. “Real men cuddle
after sex.”

  His fingers trailed over my ribs and I squirmed, ticklish. “That’s not cuddling.”

  “It can be.” He dug his fingers into my hips and I squirmed again, letting out a surprised laugh as he pulled me close for a kiss. I wondered how much this would hurt when Trevor left for good. When he rolled me underneath him, his weight pressing me into the bed, his kiss turning insistent and needy I pushed worry away. I didn’t want to think about tomorrow or next week or next month. Tonight, Trevor was here with me, and that was enough. For now.

  * * *

  After Trevor returned to New York, normal life resumed. Sort of. It had been miserable sleeping in my bed alone after having him in it, and had taken a full week before I could sleep the entire night through without moving from my bed to the futon just so I could close my eyes and not feel how cold it was without him next to me. We talked or texted every day, but all of it paled in comparison to being able to talk to him in person.

  At work, Jamie and Ethan kept scheduling me for extra shifts, but the ache of missing Trevor never fully went away. I wanted to try to make this work between us, but even I could do the math. Two thousand miles and a few days together every other weekend wouldn’t be enough to sustain a relationship. I wanted more than what those few stolen moments could give us.

  “Tyler. You’re off at five tonight, right?”

  I jumped. Jamie had snuck up behind me at my station again.

  “I think Chef Martin is right. You need a bell.”

  Jamie leaned in a whispered, “I’ll give you a raise if you promise never to tell Ethan you endorse getting me a bell.”

  This time it was my turn to laugh. “Nah, I don’t want a raise. I just like having something to hold over your head.”

  Jamie rolled his eyes. “You’ve been spending too much time with Trevor.”

  My smile faltered, but I tried my hardest to hide it. I obviously hadn’t done that good of a job because Jamie reached out and put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. “Being apart from someone you care about sucks. No two ways about it. Which reminds me. Ethan?”

  “Yeah, boss?” Ethan called from the other side of the room.

  Jamie snorted and called back, “And don’t ever forget it.”

  Ethan smirked. “I won’t. At least not until I kick your ass in our next kitchen battle.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’ll believe it when I see it. Now, do you want to come over here and help me give Tyler his early birthday present or should I do it by myself?”

  Ethan sauntered over just as Jamie pulled a white envelope out of his back pocket and handed it to me, but then jerked it back.

  “Ethan and I have decided to get away for the weekend. We’ve been going nonstop for over a year now and need a break. The restaurant’s in a good place right now, so being closed for the weekend won’t kill us.”

  “That’s awesome. You guys deserve a vacation. Where are you going?”

  As Jamie held out the envelope again, his words slammed into me. “New York.”

  New York. The one place I had fantasized about going to over the past few months. There was no way I could afford even the taxi rides, let alone the airfare there. Trevor had brought up the possibility of me visiting him, but we both knew I didn’t have the spare money in my budget for a trip to New York, and I’d been adamant there was no way I’d let him pay for it. I should have been happy my bosses were finally taking a vacation. Looking at contents of the envelope, though, only made me miss Trevor even more.

  “I’m confused. Why do I have a copy of Ethan’s and your travel itinerary? Do you guys need me to take you to the airport?” I felt stupid even asking that question since I didn’t have a car to drive to the grocery store, let alone the airport.

  Jamie and Ethan wore matching smiles when Jamie answered, “Not Ethan’s and my itinerary. Our itinerary. Happy birthday!”

  I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Jamie gripped my shoulder again, just before Ethan pulled me in for a man-hug.

  Finally, the smile that had been building inside me broke free. “Really? I’m really going to New York?”

  Jamie’s smile softened. “We finalized the details last week. All we have left to do is get the restaurant ready to be closed for a few days and call Trevor to let him know when we’re coming in. We would have scheduled the trip over the weekend of your birthday, but we’d already booked a private function for that Saturday night. We hope that’s okay.”

  An idea slowly began to take shape in my mind as my smile widened. “About that. Can I ask you a favor?”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Trevor

  First Weekend of June

  Just landed. See you in baggage claim in a few minutes.

  I reread Jamie’s text a few times, still in total disbelief he and Ethan had closed up shop to come to New York for the weekend. Both of them were workaholics who rarely took a day off. Then again, that was the reason Jamie had given me for their spur-of-the-moment trip. That, and Jamie wanted to convince Ethan New York wasn’t such “a festering shithole.”

  Five minutes passed. Then, ten. Right as I was checking my phone for the fifth time, a text from Tyler came through.

  Hope you have a good weekend with Ethan and Jamie.

  As excited as I was to see Jamie, it was difficult knowing Tyler was back in Seattle while I was playing tour director to my best friend and his husband.

  Wish you were here instead of Ethan.

  A few seconds passed before the next text came through. But this one wasn’t from Tyler. It was from Ethan’s number.

  Har, har, har Trustfund.

  The longer I stared at my screen, the more confused I got. Why in the hell would Tyler text Ethan what I just texted him?

  Why’d you send Psycho my text?

  Thank God the answering text was from Tyler.

  I didn’t send it to him.

  WTF? So Ethan is a psychic now instead of a psycho?

  Look up.

  More confused than ever, I looked up and took a sharp breath in. Tyler. Tyler was here. The rude looks and “fuck-yous” from the people I dodged and weaved around were a price I’d happily pay ten times over for the crushing hug Tyler wrapped me in once I reached him, Ethan and Jamie.

  I buried my face in his neck and breathed in his scent. Once I convinced myself he was really there and not a really bad reaction to the triple shot latte I’d had that morning, I pulled back and stared at him. His smile was more radiant than I’d ever seen it.

  “When? How?”

  Ethan groaned next to us. “I thought you said he graduated top of his class, Jamie.”

  Jamie shushed Ethan, dragging him by the arm away from us. “We’ll just go find our bags now. Don’t rush on our accounts.”

  Once we were alone, I cupped Tyler’s face and drew him close for a kiss.

  All too soon, he pulled away, but the smile on his face still remained. “Surprised?”

  “That’s an understatement. Care to enlighten me as to how you’re standing here in the middle of baggage claim?”

  He released his hold from around my waist, but found my hand, twining our fingers together. “How about I let Ethan and Jamie tell you? It was their idea.”

  We walked over to Ethan and Jamie just as the carousel came to life. “And the surprise part of it?”

  Tyler gave me a smirk that went straight to my cock. “Oh, that? That was all my idea.”

  Eight hours later, I was certain I never wanted Tyler to leave. We’d dropped Ethan and Jamie at their hotel, then I’d taken Tyler back to my condo and all but ambushed him once we set foot in my building’s elevator. We’d only just made it through my door when clothes began dropping to the floor. It had been over a month since I’d run my hands over his naked body. An excruci
atingly long month.

  We were meeting up with Ethan and Jamie later to explore the city, but I wasn’t going to waste a single second I had with Tyler. Three hours after entering my condo, we walked through the front doors and out onto the streets of New York, fully sated after christening my couch, bed and shower.

  Tyler’s wet hair earned a smirk from Ethan, but Jamie just looked happy that we were happy. It had been two years since we’d lived in the same city, but it felt normal, right, to have Jamie next to me as we took Tyler and Ethan on the grand tour across town. Tyler laughed when I showed him the ceiling of Grand Central Station and the giant piano at FAO Schwarz, but was a little bit wide-eyed and speechless as we walked around Times Square.

  “You okay?” I asked while we were watching Jamie try to convince Ethan to take a picture with him and a street performer who was dressed up like the Statue of Liberty.

  Tyler’s eyes were still filled with wonder. “It’s amazing. The only time I’ve ever left Washington was to visit my grandparents in Oregon. It looks like an awesome place to live.”

  Taking him in my arms, I bumped my forehead to his and closed my eyes. “It is, but it can also be an exhausting place to live.”

  He nuzzled my neck and murmured, “I hear Seattle is pretty laid-back.”

  I closed my eyes and pulled him closer. “I’ve heard it’s a wonderful place to live.”

  “Fucking hell. Can’t you two keep your hands off each other for five minutes?”

  Tyler burrowed deeper into my neck while I threw a smirk in Ethan’s direction, but it was Jamie who swatted him on the arm and glared. “If my memory serves me correctly, there was this guy I knew from Seattle who had a hard time keeping his hands to himself for the first year of his marriage.”

  Ethan’s look of outrage had all of us laughing while he grumbled about paybacks.

  “Speaking of not being able to keep our hands off each other, come on, lover boy. You and I have a date at the top of the Empire State Building.”