Teach Me

by Ashleigh Townshend

  Lucas tried to text and call a couple of times, but I haven’t replied. Clearly, drugs and fighting are too important for him. His temper, some of the things he has done to me, and the way he quickly sold me out to fuck Tim are all just too much to bear. You don’t forgive that kind of stuff. At least not easily. It doesn’t matter that Tim turned out to be a pretty fucking good lay. It’s just not cool.

  Of course, it’s the last class of the day two weeks later when I hear the gossip again. Someone mentions an upcoming fight and I hear both Kade and Lucas’s names. It seems Kade has regained consciousness and he’s talking, but everyone’s afraid to go see him. Tim apparently went once, threw a fucking fit, and has been banned from the hospital. I wonder what will happen when Kade gets out.

  The Lucas news is not surprising, but of course, I am not ready for it. His fight is tomorrow night. The same guy who put Kade in the hospital. Clearly Tim is not fucking around and he wants his reputation back – which rests on Lucas winning the fight. My reputation and career also rest on Lucas winning the fight, but I’m still not sure I want him to do it. I’m tempted to text him, to beg him not to fight, but selfishness about the video stops me. Besides, why am I feeling some sort of moral and emotional obligation to a guy who let me take part in a threesome with his dealer – and then got pissed at me for playing along?

  I do decide I will go see Kade, however. Maybe he can tell me something and, if I am feeling generous or if I think it will salvage my job, I will let Lucas know. He’s awake when I get to the hospital and looks surprised to see me.

  “Are they sending teachers now?”

  “I’m not here for school. I’m here because Lucas is fighting tomorrow night.”

  “Yeah, I know. He’s gonna get Tim’s money back. Or get himself killed more likely.”

  I nod and sit in the creaky hospital chair. “Right. That’s why I’m here. It’s probably best for us all if Lucas wins, you know. But I don’t know how to help him win. I thought maybe you would have some tips. Something he could look out for?”

  “Against Mike Ellis? He needs to look out for staying alive.”

  I sigh. “Is Mike big? Fast? What makes him so good?”

  Kade twitches a little and I realize he’s probably suffering a little from withdrawal, since I know Tim keeps these guys high most of the time. “He feels nothing. He’s big, don’t get me wrong, and fast, but the reason he can’t be beat is he can’t stop. You could cut off his fucking arm and he would keep swinging. I don’t know what the fuck the dude is on, but Mike Ellis will kill Lucas, and he won’t even know it happened.”

  This is not what I want to hear and I try a different approach. “Is there some way Lucas can get that unfeeling? Something he can do to ready himself?”

  “Fine out what the fuck drugs Mike is using – and get himself a hell of a lot of them.”

  “Kade, I don’t want Lucas to die. I’m sorry you got hurt, but someone needs to beat this Mike guy, and at this stage of the game, it has to be Lucas. You need to help me.”

  Kade looks at me carefully. “Tell him to bring something sharp. Mike won’t feel it, but there are no real rules. It’s considered cheap to use weapons and no one does it, but it’s also considered cheap to use fucking monsters who feel no pain because they’re so hopped up on something they can’t be taken out. Get Lucas a knife – and a good one. And then get him high as fuck so he can meet Mike halfway.”

  It’s not the best advice, and it’s certainly terrifying, but at least it’s something. I thank Kade and leave the hospital, not sure what the next step is. I text Lucas and ask him to meet me, but he doesn’t reply. I drive to his place, but he isn’t home. I don’t know what else to do, so I go to Tim’s. I need a lead and I need to find Lucas.

  Tim’s house is surprisingly empty and clean, at least for him. He answers the door and grins at me.

  “Couldn’t get enough, could you?”

  “I’m here for Lucas.”

  “He’s not here,” he says and then gestures into the house. “Come on in. You can wait here, since he’ll be here eventually. He has to be so I can tell him where the fight is tonight.”

  “Why’d you clean up?” I ask.

  “Parole officer visit. Can’t have him thinking I’m running a fucking drug den here.”

  I raise my eyebrow, but stay silent. How did I go from a high school teacher to someone who was even part of this world underworld? I just wanted to shake my ass to make a little extra rent money and now I’m in some kind of cable TV movie.

  “If he wins tonight, I get the video, right?” I ask.

  “Of course. And then you can masturbate all you want watching me fuck you.”

  “Not gonna happen,” I say.

  He laughs. “Admit it. If you weren’t gaga over Lucas, you totally wouldn’t mind another go.”

  Although Tim has a pretty decent cock and can certainly fuck, circumstances beyond Lucas make me cringe at the idea of touching him. I just shake my head. “How does Lucas get out of this mess?”

  “What do you mean, out?” He looks surprised that anyone would want out.

  “Out – as in no longer part of whatever you are doing. Off whatever you’re giving him, not doing these fights. Just out. For good.”

  “Lucas doesn’t want out,” he laughs. “He’s the one who comes to me begging.”

  “Yeah, right now, I don’t give a shit what Lucas wants. How do I get him out?”

  “You don’t.”

  The look Tim gives me is enough to get me to shut my mouth and not argue. If I thought there were moments when he or Lucas was scary since Lucas walked into the club, I was crazy. This is scary. I am actually afraid he’ll hurt me, but he just laughs like a crazy person and walks away. I don’t know where he goes, and I don’t follow. I’m still standing in the middle of the living room, terrified, when Lucas shows up an hour later.

  He looks at me, but doesn’t say anything.

  “I’m here to help you win,” I explain. “I went to see Kade.”

  Tim comes back in the room and greets Lucas. “Your bitch is here.”

  “Yeah,” is all Lucas says before he follows Tim to his basement. I don’t know what’s down there and I am positive I don’t want to find out. They return about twenty minutes later and Lucas is shaking all over. Great. Right to the fucking drugs.

  “Look,” I tell both of them. “I’m thrilled you think this is a fucking game, but Kade told me about Mike Ellis – and I don’t think you can treat this like any other fight.”

  “So what do you suggest?” Tim asks.

  “Kade thinks Lucas needs a weapon. To distract Mike.”

  “Done,” Tim agrees and pulls open a drawer, handing Lucas a huge ass fucking hunting knife. What in the fuck is happening in my life?

  “You’re coming to the fight, right?” Lucas asks. “It’ll give me something to fight for.”

  I look between them, both high, both fucking crazy, and both part of something I don’t want in my life. But then I remember Lucas several years ago, when he was just a freshman and Alea was still around. His quiet questions, the sweet way he would always pick up the chalk that fell off the blackboard, the nervousness when he would need help with papers. I sigh and nod.

  “Can I ask you a favor?” He’s desperate and I watch him shudder as he stands and stares at me.

  “I guess,” I tell him.

  “I know you’re mad at me. I know we’re over. I know you hate everything about this. But I need you. Bad. And this is going to be a bad one – and I could really use you…”

  “You want me to fuck you, after everything that’s happened?” I’m incredulous. What the fuck?

  “Just tonight, before the fight. Once.”

  “How about this? Win the fight. And then I will fuck you all weekend long,” I offer.

  That seems to satisfy him, and he and Tim start strategizing. I sit on the couch and play with my phone. I don’t want to go to this fight. I don’t want to be here.
I don’t want to be involved in this, but I can’t walk away from Lucas and it pisses me off. I need to get this shit straightened out, because if I don’t, I am going to be unemployed – and then if he gets out, I won’t be able to help him get it together again.

  Eleven

  The crowd is far bigger than I would have imagined, since that means people actually know about this whole thing. I feel like Alice in fucking Wonderland right now. Lucas holds my arm and points to a corner where the biggest fucking guy I have ever seen is sitting. Mike Ellis, he informs me. He’s going to die, I realize. Because there is no way Lucas can take that beast. Lucas may be an asshole and have a temper like no one else I know, but he’s still fucking human. Mike Ellis looks like a local prison let him out for some air.

  Lucas’s hand is soaking wet and I’m worried. I’m actually sick I am so scared for him, but he turns to me as he approaches the circle and pulls me in for one hell of a kiss. He lips find mine and his tongue explores the inside of my mouth.

  “He won’t hurt me,” he whispers.

  “What if he does?” I worry.

  “He won’t. Because I won’t be able to keep you to that promise of fucking me all weekend if he does – and it has been way too long.” He grabs my ass and it might be degrading under other circumstances, but it just makes me hope he’s right.

  I kiss him again. “Kick his ass,” I tell him and he grins.

  Tim leads me to the side, to a little area where he sits and people bring him bets. It looks bad for Lucas, which means if he wins, he will win a fuckload of cash.

  When they get started, I have to sit on my hands to make sure I watch. I don’t want to see this, but I need to be here for Lucas. Mike starts pounding on him immediately and I swear I hear bones break, but Lucas is still standing after the first barrage. There is blood streaming from his nose, but he’s steady and when Mike takes a break for a split second, Lucas moves quick. He pounds on Mike’s face and hits him low, so Mike is thrown off balance. It looks like a positive turn of events until Mike stands up again and then hits Lucas so hard he is thrown back several feet. His fingers hang off his hand at a strange angle and the blood starts flowing faster. Mike pounds Lucas’s face until he’s nearly unrecognizable and I scream Lucas’s name. I want to run to him, but Tim rests a hand on my leg to stop me.

  Mike just keeps going and I think I am going to watch Lucas die in front of my eyes. Suddenly, though, he sees an opening somehow and he gets out the hunting knife. I figured he would stab Mike in the side, cause some pain so he would have an opening to keep up the fight. I don’t expect him to shove the knife straight into Mike’s eye, blinding him. Blood pours from the socket and Mike reaches for the knife, but Lucas twists it deeper and then removes it, targeting Mike’s chest. Suddenly, this is not what I thought it would be. I thought, even with its violence, that this was like a UFC fight, but Lucas take the knife, plunges it into Mike’s chest, and twists. Mike gags and a stream of blood spills from his throat. Lucas keeps stabbing until Mike falls, and then he does it again. When Mike finally stops moving, Lucas stands up, wipes the knife off on his sweats, and walks over to Tim and me.

  Everyone comes to pay, except for a few who claim killing Mike made the fight unfair, and then the crowd disperses. Lucas just fucking killed someone and no one cares. Lucas doesn’t care. What the hell? He takes the wad of money Tim gives him and grabs my hand. I am going to have to drive, because I don’t even know how Lucas is standing up, and he can’t possibly see through all the blood – both his and Mike’s – on him. I wonder what will happen to Mike, to his body, but no one seems worried. Which makes me realize that this kind of thing must happen a lot – and that makes it even more imperative Lucas get the fuck out now.

  “How much?” I ask once we are in my car, because truthfully, I am too ill to drive.

  “What?”

  “How much was his life worth?”

  “Forty grand.”

  Fuck. That’s what I make a year. Of course, I don’t kill people.

  “Don’t you feel guilty?” I ask.

  “Why? You saw it. He would have done the same to me if he had to.”

  Although he’s right and I suppose I’m glad it was Mike and not Lucas, I feel like I am going to throw up. I just watched a guy die.

  “Are you still high? Don’t you hurt?”

  “Not yet,” Lucas says and I shrug, turning on the car and bringing him home. I want him in bed when he does start to feel the pain.

  ****

  I call out again and feel thankful I’ve been fairly healthy in my few years teaching so I have a pretty hefty sick bank. It’s midmorning when Lucas wakes, screaming in agony. I bring him Tylenol, but it’s nowhere near strong enough. I hate myself, but I go to his phone and look through his contacts for Tim’s number. He picks up almost immediately.

  “You’re alive?”

  “It’s Savannah,” I tell him.

  “Who?”

  “Miss Lawlor.”

  “Oh, hey, baby.”

  “Not now,” I reply. “Lucas is a mess. I need something strong. He’s taken a ton of Tylenol but it isn’t helping.”

  “It’ll cost ya.”

  “Really?” Fucking asshole. “It was your fight.”

  “So? I have to buy the shit.”

  “Whatever,” I grumble. There goes my fucking bank account. “Just get it here fast. And bring that fucking video.”

  “You want a souvenir?” He taunts.

  “Fuck yourself,” I say and hang up.

  Lucas is in tears and I hope Tim fucking hurries. I can’t believe I’m buying drugs for him, but he can’t handle withdrawal and excruciating pain at the same time. I rationalize it, but I know it’s still fucked up. I guess this is the shit I signed up for with this kid.

  I sit in my bed and bring him a trash can so he can vomit repeatedly. I don’t know if it’s from the pain, the half bottle of Tylenol, or withdrawal, but Lucas has a shit ton of puke and I am on my third dumping run when Tim finally shows up. I don’t ask questions, simply lead him to my room, and close the door with the two of them in there. I’m not sure what Lucas will get, and I definitely don’t know nor do I want to know how he gets the drugs into his system. Instead, I do the dishes because it’s a distraction. There aren’t that many but I’m meticulous and I’m wrapping up the load when Tim comes out in half an hour.

  “How is he?” I ask.

  “Sleeping now. Look, I left some things. He may need to take them.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” I say.

  “And the video is on the dresser.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  He leaves and I dry my hands and go back to Lucas. He’s sleeping, but he isn’t restless, and I slide into bed next to him, draping his arm over me. I don’t even think, but I reach behind me and start stroking his cock. I know he’s out of it, so I don’t expect to happen, but suddenly he’s hard and he’s pushing against me and his hands are sliding my panties down. I’m only wearing a long t-shirt and I lift it over my hand while Lucas rubs between my legs.

  “Baby,” he cries and I can’t imagine how he is physically okay doing this, but he’s not struggling. He pulls me against him with one arm and uses the other to cover my mouth as he plunges into my cunt. He’s rough and the drugs have him completely out of his head so he’s just fucking me like there is no stopping. I bite down on his hand and he grunts, shoving himself into me harder. He takes the hand around my body and uses his hand to pinch my nipples before he slides it between my legs and plays with my clit as he fucks me.

  I push back against him as he plunges and I’ve missed his body. As soon as I come, he tosses me down onto my bed and sits over me, his giant monster cock still slick from my pussy. His eyes are glazed over; it’s not meth this time but something else because I’ve never seen Lucas look like this. He bites down hard on my nipples, shaking my tit with his teeth, and then he gets up, goes to my TV and DVD player, and puts in the vid
eo from Tim. It’s weird watching myself on video being fucked and Lucas stares at intently.

  “Looks like you liked when he fucked you,” he comments.

  “Not as much as you,” I say.

  “I don’t like how much you’re enjoying that,” he says and then he comes back to the bed. In one motion, he lifts me up and then he bends me over in the middle of my bedroom floor. He grabs my teacher textbook from the floor near my bed and begins hitting me hard in the ass with it. It’s so fucking hot and I come as he does it. He is just so wrong and so bad that it’s so motherfucking good.

  “Scream, bitch. Scream my name. Tell me I’m the only cock you want,” he says as he continues to hit me with the book. I come again and again and I can’t stand up anymore, falling to my knees. He tosses the book aside, turns me around, and buries his cock down my throat. I lick the full length of him and cup his balls, listening to him call me names and tell me I’m his and he owns my pussy. He does, too. No guy has ever made me feel like this and I realize I do the stupid shit I have been doing because I will lose everything to feel Lucas balls deep in my cunt. The realization makes me want him there now and I move my head away before he can get a handful of hair and hold me in place.

  “Fuck me,” I beg.

  “No.”

  “Please fuck me. I need to feel your cock inside me.”

  “You don’t deserve it. You’re a stupid slut who took another cock with no regret.”