A Daughter's Quest

by Lena Nelson Dooley

  Hans had spent a lot of time studying Constance as she sat across from him at the Carters’ house. He shouldn’t have missed anything this startling.

  “So, Constance.” He had to clear his throat to dislodge a lump. “Now that you’ve found out everything you needed to find, will you go home to Arkansas, or will you stay in Iowa?”

  She looked up from putting food on her plate and paused with the spoon in her hand. She took a moment to answer. “I really like Browning City.”

  Good. That’s what he wanted to hear.

  “Even though I miss the mountains, the view from the bluff over the Mississippi River is almost as good.” She put the spoon back in the bowl and passed it to him.

  He heaped mashed potatoes on his plate, ready to add the delicious cream gravy that was one of Mrs. Barker’s specialties.

  “I’ve made a lot of friends here.” Constance glanced around the table at each one there. “More than I had back home.”

  Hans passed the gravy boat to Thomas and nearly dropped it. Hans wiped his sweaty palms along his pant legs. Paper crinkled in his pocket.

  “I forgot.” He reached into his front pocket and extracted an envelope. “When I was at the post office, Hiram asked if I would be seeing you this evening. Wanted me to give this to you.” He handed the letter to Constance. “Looks like it came from Arkansas.”

  Constance nodded and stuck the letter in the pocket of her apron.

  After supper, he asked if she wanted to go for a walk before it got too dark. She glanced toward her employer and started to shake her head.

  “You go ahead, Constance.” Mrs. Barker made a shooing motion with both hands. “You did most of supper for me, so I’ll do the dishes.”

  They stepped out into the mellow twilight. A gentle breeze stirred the leaves on the trees, and the chirping of birds settling down on their nests accompanied the symphony of crickets and frogs. Hans always liked this time of evening, and today he would enjoy it even more because he was spending it with Constance.

  When they walked down the street in the quiet neighborhood, their shoulders almost touched. He felt her presence beside him as a tangible connection.

  “Didn’t you want to see what the letter said?” He smiled down at her, thinking that if he had his arm around her, she would fit just right against his side.

  “I took a peek when I removed my apron. The Smiths are buying my farm. They’ll send all my personal possessions in a crate and the money in a strongbox on the stage.”

  He walked silently for a few steps, then stopped beneath the branches of a cottonwood tree, facing Constance. “Does that mean that you don’t have any ties back there now?”

  When she turned her gaze up to connect with his, the new sparkle shone, even in the shadows. “Yes, it does. I’m now a permanent part of Browning City society.” She smiled, lighting the whole area around them with the force of it.

  That smile warmed Hans all the way through. He could get used to experiencing that feeling. He wondered what she would do if he smoothed his fingers across her cheek. His hand ached to do that very thing.

  After he left Constance at the boardinghouse, Hans started toward his lonely quarters behind the smithy. It had never seemed that way before Constance came to town. He stopped and stared up at the twinkling lights in the sky. The full moon bathed everything in a glistening glow.

  “Lord, something’s different about Constance. Does it have anything to do with You?” He waited and listened for the still small voice that whispered a quiet yes into his heart. “Is she the woman You created for me? Am I supposed to court her?”

  Peace descended deeper inside him, and he felt as though he was on the road that God had laid out for him since the beginning of time. He would court her, but first he had to do one thing.

  The next morning after he fixed a quiet breakfast for himself, Hans headed straight to the office of the county tax collector. The man had an office in Browning City.

  “What can I do for you, Hans?” William Lawrence stood up from the chair behind a large desk and held out his hand. “All your taxes have been paid.”

  Hans shook hands and nodded. “Ja, I know. I wanted to check on the Mitchell farm. Andrew said the parents were really behind on their taxes.”

  Mr. Lawrence clucked his tongue. “It’s a sad situation. I had hoped that when the boys returned, they would be able to help their parents. But it didn’t happen.”

  “Are there any other heirs?” Hans hoped not.

  “None that we’ve been able to find.” The man sat back down and took a ledger from one of the drawers in his desk. He opened it and ran his finger down the page. “It’s scheduled to be in the auction next month, sold for back taxes.”

  Hans tried not to smile at someone else’s difficulty. “Would it be possible for me to pay all the back taxes and redeem the property before the auction?”

  Mr. Lawrence rocked in his chair for a moment. “Well, we’ve never come up against that question before. I don’t see why not. All the county wants is the back taxes. Are you sure you want to do that? It’s quite a large sum.”

  “Ja.” Hans stuck his hands in the front pockets of his trousers. “I have quite a bit of money saved. I knew I would want to have a house eventually.”

  The tax collector picked up a pen and wrote on a piece of paper. “If you bring me this amount, I’ll make sure the property is deeded to you.”

  Hans studied the number for a moment. He could handle it. “Okay, you’ll have it in the next few days.” He folded the paper and put it in his shirt pocket before holding out his hand. “Nice doing business with you.”

  All the way back to the smithy, Hans whistled and started making plans.

  fifteen

  Several people came to the smithy on Saturday with work for Hans. He was glad for the business, but some of them needed their things right away, so he had to put his plans on hold. Hans needed a large fire in the forge, which made the June day extremely hot. He wished he could remove his shirt and work without it, but there were too many people in town today. He didn’t want to offend any ladies who might come with their husbands to the nearby livery or to the smithy.

  Hans laid his tools on the long table beside one wall of the cavernous room, then reached for the bandanna in his back pocket. After wiping the sweat from his brow, he hung the wet cloth across a bar by the door. Good thing he brought extra handkerchiefs today.

  He wished he had time to talk to Jackson. His friend could help him decide the best way to approach the next few days. After spending several hours talking to the Lord last night, Hans was convinced that God brought Constance to Browning City for several reasons. The main one was to meet him.

  His parents had taught their sons the proper way to court a woman. A man should approach the man who was the protector of the woman and ask his permission first. Constance didn’t have a father, brother, or uncle for him to talk to.

  When Hans went over in his mind all the times he and Constance had been together, he realized that there was a possibility she already felt something more than friendship for him, but he wasn’t sure. How could he bring up the subject to explore their feelings? His ran deep, but he couldn’t always put them into words. Maybe Jackson could tell him what to do. Any suggestions would be helpful.

  As he returned to shaping a horseshoe against his anvil, every pound of the hammer contained some of his frustration. Rhythmical beats of iron against iron rang through the building and echoed into the street.

  “Are you trying to beat that thing to death?” Jackson’s laugh followed his question as he came in out of the sun. “It sure is hot in here.” He took off his hat and fanned his face and neck.

  Hans plunged the finished shoe into the bucket of cool water, and steam hissed in a cloud, adding to the oppressive heat. After a moment, he jerked the piece of shaped metal back out of its bath, shook the water off, and put it in the bucket that held several more. He laid his hammer on the table, then pulled off his apr
on and placed it beside the tool. After grabbing another bandanna, he headed toward the doorway.

  “Let’s get out in the breeze for a while. I’m ready for a break.” Hans finished wiping his face, hands, and forearms, then hung the cloth beside the first one. “So what brings you by the smithy? Do you need something repaired?”

  Jackson shook his head. “No. I just felt that I should come by and see you.”

  Hans laughed. “You must have been listening to the Lord. I’ve been bending His ear enough this morning, wishing I could talk to you.”

  Jackson waved toward a bench that sat in the shade of a giant oak tree across the road. “Do you have time to sit a minute?”

  Hans led the way and dropped onto the wooden seat worn smooth from years of use by weary travelers. “I can take a little while.”

  After sitting beside him and propping one foot on the other leg, Jackson asked, “So why were you telling the Lord that you wanted to talk to me?”

  Hans rubbed the toe of his boot in the thick layer of dust in front of them, making lazy circles. “I need some advice.”

  Jackson waited a moment, probably expecting Hans to continue, but he didn’t. “About what?”

  “I’ve developed strong feelings for Constance.”

  The last thing Hans expected was the laugh that exploded from his friend. It drowned out the rustle of leaves in the branches above, and the birds stopped chirping.

  “‘Strong feelings,’ huh? Just how strong are these feelings?”

  “I’m not going to tell you if you’re going to laugh at me.” Hans tried to sound offended, but he knew he didn’t succeed. “I’m trying to be serious here.”

  Jackson sobered and draped his arm across his upraised knee. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. It just took you long enough to recognize what you’re feeling. You do love her, don’t you?”

  How did Jackson know? Hans had just realized it the other day. “Well…ja.”

  “So what are you going to do about it?” Jackson cut right to the crux of the matter.

  What could he do? “I’d really like to court her, see if she cares for me, too.”

  “I don’t think you have to worry about that.” Was Jackson a mind reader? A pastor wasn’t supposed to take part in that kind of hocus-pocus, was he?

  Hans ran a hand around the back of his neck. “I wish she had a father for me to ask. That’s what my parents taught me to do. I’m trying to decide how to go about it.”

  Jackson stared up the street toward the center of town. “Why don’t I ask her to move into the parsonage with Mary and me? My wife’s getting tired much quicker these days. Constance could help a bit around the house, and she would be under my protection. You could take your time courting her and convincing her that you love her.”

  Hans wiped his sweaty palms down the legs of his denim trousers. “All right. That sounds like a good idea to me. I’ve noticed a difference in her attitude toward me lately. She might care something for me already.”

  Jackson laughed again, then held up his hand. “I’m sorry. It’s just funny to me. Mary and I have both known for a long time that you love each other. We were just waiting for you to realize it, too.”

  “Does everyone in town know?” Hans couldn’t have kept the exasperation out of his tone if he had wanted to.

  “I doubt it.” Jackson set his foot down in the dirt beside his other one. He leaned his forearms on his thighs and clasped his hands. “We just know you better than anyone else does.”

  Constance had always loved going to church. Probably because of the music and spending time with friends. Today was different. When she walked into the wooden structure with sunlight shining through amber-tinted windows that lit up the whole space, she felt as if she were really going into the Lord’s house. God no longer seemed way off up in heaven. Her heart was so full of His love that she didn’t think she could contain it.

  She slipped into a pew halfway down the center aisle, on the left. After taking her place, she bowed her head and shut her eyes, basking in His presence. Her life had made a drastic turn. Had it only been two days ago? Such a short span in the twenty years of her life. Finally, her heart was full of a deeper love than she had ever imagined. She wanted to pour it out on everyone she met. To tell them what they were missing by not having a deeper relationship with the Lord.

  Constance opened her eyes and glanced around. Mary came through the side door that led back toward Jackson’s tiny office. Usually she sat on the front pew, but today, she came back and joined Constance.

  “So how are you feeling?” The kind expression in Mary’s eyes probed deep into Constance’s heart.

  “I’ve never felt so good…about everything. I don’t think life could be any better.”

  Mary patted her hand. “Have you heard anything from Selena lately? How is she doing?”

  “I’m not sure.” Constance did feel some hesitation at the mention of the woman’s name. “Mrs. Barker is going out to check on her this afternoon. It’s been long enough that she could have healed. Then I would be out of a job.”

  “That’s wonderful.” Mary’s exuberance surprised Constance. “Jackson and I wanted to ask you something, anyway. Are you coming over to the house for lunch today?”

  Constance glanced down at her friend’s expanding figure. “I really don’t want to make extra work for you.”

  “You always help when you’re there. I like having you around.” Mary’s last words were almost drowned out by the introduction to a hymn being played enthusiastically on the pump organ.

  Constance nodded before she turned toward the front. Just as the song leader told everyone to stand, Hans appeared in the aisle beside her and asked if he could sit with the two women. Constance gladly slid closer to Mary. The only thing that could make her life even better would be if the Lord caused Hans to fall in love with her as she had fallen in love with him. With a secret smile, she joined her alto voice in harmony with his mellow baritone as they sang about God’s amazing grace. Today, she understood in a new way what the words to that favorite hymn meant.

  After the service, Hans took Constance and Mary to the parsonage in a buggy while Jackson stayed to talk to those who wanted to shake hands with him. By the time he arrived at home, the table was set and most of the food rested in pretty bowls scattered around the large oval.

  Hans pulled out a chair for Constance, then took the one on the other side of the table. Once again, he made her feel cared for. If only that care could turn to something deeper. She unfolded her napkin and placed it in her lap while glancing up at the man. He was so handsome and strong, but his greatest strengths were his moral character and love for the Lord. Almost as if he could feel her gaze, he turned his eyes toward her. The warmth of his gaze made her wish a breeze would blow through the open windows to cool her cheeks.

  “Let’s thank the Lord for our blessings.” Jackson extended a hand toward both Hans and Constance while they took hold of Mary’s hands, and everyone bowed their heads.

  Jackson prayed wonderful prayers, but Constance had a hard time keeping her mind on the words today. If only she had been able to sit in the place across from Jackson, then Hans would be holding her hand. She had felt the strength of those hands when he placed them around her waist to hoist her onto a horse or up into a buggy or wagon. She’d seen the calluses on his palms. Would they feel rough clasped against hers, or would they cause a delicious sensation in her stomach the way his hands on her waist did?

  Constance didn’t realize that Jackson had finished blessing the food until he and Mary released her hands. She should be ashamed for letting her thoughts wander the way they did during the prayer, but she wasn’t. Today, everything was too wonderful for that.

  Jackson placed several pieces of roast beef on his plate and passed the platter to Constance. She took some and gave the rest to Mary. It smelled so good, but when her gaze collided with Hans’s, her stomach turned over, and she didn’t know if she would be able t
o eat a thing. His eyes compelled hers to continue the connection, and she gladly complied. Jackson had to clear his throat before she noticed he held a bowl of steaming mashed potatoes toward her.

  Somehow, Constance got through the meal without spilling anything. She had to keep her peeks at Hans to a minimum to accomplish that.

  When Mary finished her last bite, she placed her fork on her plate. “Constance, Jackson and I would like you to move into the parsonage with us.”

  Constance turned her full attention to her friend. “I might not have a job for long, but I could still live at the boardinghouse. With the amount of money I received for the farm, I can afford it. I could start looking for a house to buy.”

  For some reason, that statement brought a frown to Hans’s face. Why would he care if she bought a house?

  “There’s more to our idea.” Jackson smiled toward his wife. “Mary is getting tired more quickly. I would appreciate it if you could help her. I know you do when you’re here, but if you lived here, things would be easier for her.”

  Constance thought about the idea for a moment. “I really would like being here all the time, and if I helped Mary, it would be almost as though I was paying rent.”

  “Ja.” Hans’s enthusiastic agreement surprised Constance. “That would be a good thing.”

  Mary stood and started gathering dishes to take to the kitchen. “Then it’s agreed. Jackson and Hans can help you move your things as soon as Mrs. Barker says Selena is coming back.”

  Things couldn’t have worked any better for Hans. Mrs. Barker had returned with the news that Selena was hoping to return to work right away, so he and Jackson moved Constance to the parsonage on Monday. He had been spending every evening over there for two weeks.

  Constance cooked wonderful meals, and he ate with them. He hoped Mrs. Barker wasn’t disappointed to lose one of her regulars for supper. Tonight Constance promised fried chicken. His mouth watered just thinking about the crunchy goodness. Her mashed potatoes and cream gravy were the best he had ever tasted.