Can't Stop Loving You

by Miranda Liasson

  At one time, they would have laughed hysterically at such a comedy of errors. But the tension was too heavy and thick for either of them to crack a smile. So she focused all her attention on the poor animal, who needed it anyway. It was a lot easier to comfort a beast who didn’t talk back. The other beast was way too vocal.

  Suddenly she felt a heaviness drape around her shoulders. Roman’s suit jacket. It was warm, and dry on the inside at least, and smelled spicy, like him. She looked over at him in surprise. He was sitting there, his long fingers flipping up his cuffs, exposing the muscle of his tan, lean arms. She caught his eye. “Thank you,” she said.

  “No problem.” He gave her the briefest glance, then kept fiddling with the cuffs, trying to make them perfect, no doubt. Order had always been his way of dealing with the messiness of life. He hadn’t changed a bit. Neither had his way of looking out for her, of being considerate, or his ability to get to her with the smallest act of kindness. But she tried to push all that out of her head.

  “You know, you didn’t have to do this,” she said. “Stay, I mean. Ethan offered to swing by and take me home. You should go.” That was actually a little fib. She’d felt bad enough explaining to Ethan why she’d abandoned him at the wedding and wasn’t coming back. He’d kindly offered to get her purse and even wanted to drive out to the hospital, but she’d told him no. That was all she needed, to have him and Roman butting heads.

  “Look,” Roman said, “you may not think I have staying power or whatever it is you believe about me. But I’m here and I’m not leaving. Got that?”

  “You don’t need to prove a point.” Which seemed to be exactly what he was doing. He didn’t care about the dog. He was just being his usual stubborn self. Trying to win his side of the argument.

  “I’m not proving anything. I’m just going to stay here with you until this thing is settled.”

  She stopped arguing, because he had a history of digging in his heels just as hard as she could. “Look, maybe this all happened tonight for a reason. Maybe it’s the universe telling us to make peace.”

  He snorted. Oh, the man was impossible.

  She threw up her arms. “Fine. At least I tried.”

  His turn to sigh. He straightened up, pulled his legs in, and looked straight at her. God, he had gorgeous eyes. That Greek heritage. Big, chocolate-brown eyes. A woman could get lost, what with all that sexy brooding going on in there . . . and for a second she thought she detected a softening in them.

  “What happened between us was a long time ago, Bella. I don’t harbor any ill will toward you. It was unfortunate, but it’s in the past. We were just kids, and we both grew up. End of story.”

  “You’re so—different.” His words sounded matter-of-fact. Emotionless. Somehow he seemed to have compartmentalized all that feeling into a couple of tiny, flat sentences, without a hint of pain or sadness. It was . . . odd. There was even a psychological word for it. Denial.

  “Of course I’m different. I’m twelve years older than that boy who left here that spring night.”

  The impulse to say I’m sorry rose to her throat. For all the pain they both went through. She’d gotten pregnant over Christmas of senior year and had miscarried at five months, just before graduation. Not only did she have to leave school, she’d had to let her scholarships and her spot at her top college go. And worse than everything else, she’d had to let him go.

  She still remembered the stricken look on his face the day he left. Oh, she was sorry, for that and for all of the anger and upset it had caused—not just in their families but between them, too.

  If only their baby had lived, things could have been different. Her father would have had to accept Roman, and eventually, everything would have settled down. The pregnancy had been an accident, one that had altered the entire trajectory of her life, but she wasn’t sorry for that. She’d wanted that baby. As much as she’d wanted him.

  There was no way she could tell him any of her thoughts. Not now and not here, in a veterinary waiting room that smelled vaguely of Pine-Sol and wet dog. Or was that wet-dog smell coming from her? Instead, she kept it brief and painless. “Like you said, we grew up.”

  Roman looked about to say something, but the door opened. Ethan himself walked in, wearing scrubs. He took in the two of them together. Their state of dishevelment. Roman’s coat around her shoulders, which she promptly dropped.

  Ethan gave her a cool nod. “You came in yourself,” she said. He wasn’t on call. He didn’t have to be here.

  “Of course I did. I brought your purse. I hope you don’t mind, but I fished your keys out and drove your car here.”

  Ethan turned to Roman. “Glad to see you’re back in town.” He didn’t offer a handshake, just a businesslike nod. He talked mostly to her. “So, okay, about your dog. Looks like somebody did something bad to her. That injury on her right leg is a burn. We cleaned it up and bandaged it. She’s malnourished and she’s got fleas. And she’s dehydrated. My sense is she got dropped off along the highway somewhere and was left to fend for herself. We’re going to keep her overnight and give her fluids and antibiotics.”

  Bella’s eyes teared up for the poor animal. “Well, on a positive note, at least we know she’s nobody’s dog.” Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Roman grimace, on behalf of the dog or because he thought she was being a sucker for a sob story, she didn’t know.

  “If you want,” Ethan said, “I could walk you back and let you see her.” She got up to follow him, but he waited for her at the doorway to the animal holding area and motioned for her to go ahead of him.

  The dog was sleeping in the bottom of one of a handful of crates lined up side by side along one wall of the white-tiled room. Down the line of crates, which was a little reminiscent of a row of jail cells, there was a German shepherd with an IV bag and a little white dog balled up on a towel fast asleep.

  “When can I take her home?” she asked. “You did say she’s a she, right?”

  “Vito’s not going to like this,” Ethan said, curling his fingers through the cage and leaning on it.

  That was for sure, yet she found herself chuckling. Since her father’s surgery three weeks ago, she’d been working and caretaking nonstop, and she was tired. Plus her apartment in town was sitting empty while she was living back at home and she knew she couldn’t have a dog there. Yet some ornery part of her stood up and made her dig in her heels. She looked into the big, sad eyes of the still-damp mutt. She wasn’t going to give up the dog.

  “I’m taking her home. Besides, I need some stress relief right about now. The psych literature says pets are good for stress.”

  “She may create a lot more stress than she takes away, you know that, don’t you? She wasn’t treated well. We don’t really have a good idea of what her manners are like yet.”

  Bella squatted down next to the crate. The dog stirred a little, lifting her head and assessing her with soft brown eyes that were more than a little wary.

  Ethan bent down next to her. “You need to know two things. Number one, the dog’s going to make it. Number two, you know I love you, right?”

  “Of course.” They’d known each other since they were kids. She couldn’t imagine life without his friendship.

  “I’d probably be more if you were okay with that.”

  She touched his cheek. “We’re way better as friends, and you know it.”

  “If you say so. Be careful, Bella.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He shrugged, tipping his head toward the waiting room.

  “Roman? Oh, come on. I would never—no. Don’t even think that.” She should have stopped there, but when she was nervous, she rambled. “He’s just here to drive me home. You know Roman, he’s always been . . .” Passionate was the word that came to mind.

  “In love with you?”

  “Responsible. I was going to say overly responsible.”

  “You’re shaking a little.”

  She’
d never lied to Ethan, and she wasn’t going to start now. “Seeing him again has been a bit of a shock, as much as I knew that someday he’d be back.”

  He gripped her shoulders. “I’m here for you if you need me. Got that?”

  She rested a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry about leaving you at the wedding. Les wouldn’t let up, and Roman asked if I wanted to get coffee . . .”

  “I don’t care about that. But, Bella, you should know—”

  Someone cleared their throat, and she turned around to see Roman standing in the doorway. She dropped her hand.

  “I wondered if it was all right to see the dog?”

  “Sure,” Ethan said, getting to his feet, “come on back.”

  Roman eyed the animal from afar. “He going to be okay?”

  Ethan sighed. “It’s a she. And yes, she’s going to be fine.”

  Roman’s eyes traveled around the room, taking in the four crates in front of them, the four on the opposite side. Monitors, IVs, equipment. The desk against the wall. “Nice place.”

  “Thanks, but let’s forget the small talk for now, Roman.” Ethan’s voice was uncharacteristically sharp. “I thought you’d at least have the decency to tell Bella what you’re really doing in town. Don’t you think she deserves to know?”

  “What’s this about?” Bella looked from Ethan to Roman. A tiny muscle in Roman’s jaw twitched. They looked like two MMA fighters about to face off.

  “I was about to tell you before all this happened,” Roman said, nodding toward the dog. “I’ve inherited my grandparents’ orchards. I’m here to take over their business.”

  “The orchards,” she said in disbelief.

  Not that the fact that he was taking over the orchards was so remarkable. It was just that they happened to be next door to her family’s thirty-year-old garden center business.

  Her family had wondered what would happen to the orchards now that both of Roman’s grandparents were gone. One of the longtime employees had told them Roman had no interest in running the business as an apple farm. The rumor was that it was going to be sold.

  She clenched her fists to her sides as the motivation behind his actions became crystal clear: his initial friendliness, his offer to get coffee. “So that’s why you wanted to make peace,” she said, lighting into him. “To assuage your conscience. So I could make it easier for you with my dad that you’re going to be working next door.” Because saying her father would not be pleased was like underestimating Armageddon.

  “No. That didn’t have anything to do with tonight.”

  “Maybe you’d better go,” Ethan said.

  “I’m taking Bella home,” Roman said.

  “No need for that,” Ethan said. “Her house is on my way.”

  Maybe she should feel flattered that two men were fighting over her, a situation that had happened exactly never. She glanced at Ethan, leaning against the desk, scowling. And Roman, brows knit, arms crossed, irritated as all get out. They hadn’t even been in each other’s company for a full fifteen minutes. If this was any indication of how her hard-earned peace in this town could be so easily spoiled, she was in big trouble.

  She lifted her keys and her purse from a nearby countertop. “Tell you what. I’m driving myself home. You two can ride together. I’ll stop by to check on my dog tomorrow.”

  She walked past both of them, retracing her steps to the waiting room, glad to finally leave Roman Spikonos behind. He was still stubborn, argumentative, and impossible. And now she could add sneaky to the list. Forget the fact that he was still one of the sexiest men she’d ever seen, still capable of stirring up every emotion and doing things to her insides, things that made her heart pound and her breath catch and gave her whole body the jolting shock of static electricity times a thousand. But all that had gotten her in a whole heap of trouble before, and she was determined to never head down that path again.

  CHAPTER 4

  Twelve Years Earlier

  “It’s destiny,” Bella’s friend Jess said over flat, bad pizza in the cafeteria. She pushed her phone toward Bella. “See for yourself.”

  Jess read their horoscopes every day over lunch in the high school cafeteria. Today had been no exception. “The present astral configuration indicates that you will meet a dark and handsome stranger who will alter the course of your life.” Jess looked at her pointedly before reading the next line. “Be careful about chance meetings.” Bella rolled her eyes. There weren’t any “strangers” at Our Lady of the Lake. She knew everyone. Besides, she had the highest GPA in the senior class. She was too smart to believe in nonsense.

  Two periods later, Bella reached out her hand to accept the chemistry test Mrs. Martin was handing her. She kept a polite but humble smile on her face, as usual. She always got the highest grade, not that she was bragging or anything, but it was a fact of life. When she glanced at the top of the paper and saw the ninety-six, she knew this time was no different.

  Well, why should it be? She’d studied her butt off. She always did. It would give her dad something to smile about when there wasn’t all that much to make him happy since her mom had died. She liked making him proud.

  After her mother’s death from ovarian cancer Bella’s freshman year, Aunt Francesca, her single aunt who lived in Newark with her paternal grandmother, had taken a few weeks’ leave from her school librarian job to come help take care of them. But she had work and caring for Nonna, so they knew from the beginning that her time with them was limited.

  Bella didn’t fully understand it at the time, but her dad had gone into a depression, overwhelmed with the garden center and the care of three kids. Gina and she were already in high school and at the peak of teenage angst, and her little brother Joey was only three, poor little baby.

  Bella, even at the age of fourteen, felt a great responsibility for her brother. After all, she’d promised her mother she’d take care of him. She’d sworn, given her word. Gina, three years older, was a senior when Mom died and busy with her own life. But Bella had a special relationship with her baby brother from the moment her mom had placed him in her arms. Maybe it was the duck fuzz on his sweet little head, or the way his tiny fingers sought one of hers and wrapped around it for dear life. Later, it was his big brown eyes that could fill with crocodile tears, or his fun-loving, endlessly charming personality that had her wrapped around his little finger for life. For whatever reason, Bella had easily slid into the role of being his second mother.

  One night after Joey had fallen asleep, Bella looked up to find her father in the doorway. His thick black hair was sticking up on one side from sleeping, and he had his ratty navy bathrobe on.

  “Hi, Pop,” she said. She was sitting up in Joey’s bed reading one of her own books for a few minutes, Joey sleeping cuddled up beside her, smelling of little kid shampoo and Dove soap. She read to him every night because she wanted him to feel loved, and wanted to somehow fill the impossible void left by their mother.

  Her dad walked up to the bed, his hands in his robe pockets. The light from the lamp hit his weathered face, casting shadows on the dark circles under his eyes and the deep vertical creases between them. He’d always been the more serious parent, the worrier. Mom had made him smile, had lightened him up, and now that she was gone, God only knew what would happen to him. “You’re a good girl, bella mia,” he said, touching her cheek. “A very good girl. And you are beautiful like your mother.”

  She knew she wasn’t. Her mom had been amazing, with wavy dark hair, big caramel-colored eyes, and the most beautiful skin she’d ever seen. She’d gotten her mother’s hair, but at age fourteen, it was an annoyance, and came with unwanted hair in other places like her brows and upper lip that she had to work hard at getting rid of. She’d inherited a bigger nose from her dad’s side of the family, and she was nowhere near as petite as her mom had been.

  “I got the highest grade in my advanced English class,” she said. “My teacher wants me to enter a national essay contest.” She wanted h
im to know there was no need to worry about her, that she was fine. Gina’s grades, on the other hand, were a disaster. Lots to worry about there.

  Now, at the beginning of senior year, a few months from turning eighteen, Bella had already aced the SAT and was practically certain of a scholarship, and she knew exactly where she wanted to go. She hadn’t decided yet whether to become a molecular geneticist, a physicist, or a biochemist, but all three were possible from Loyola University in Chicago.

  She’d read all about Chicago on the Internet. People there were Midwestern—friendly. It was clean. Exciting and beautiful, and Lake Michigan was practically like an ocean, with a beach and everything. She’d jog around the lake every day and eat deep-dish pizza. Become a city girl. She’d get far away from Mirror Lake and the expectations of her traditional Italian family. A loving family, yes, but one that favored and fawned over the sons.

  She saw it with her cousins, and she saw traces of it even now with Joey, who was six. Her father didn’t seem to expect the same effort around the house as he did with her and Gina. Joey was still young, but Bella feared the pattern was being set. And her father could not cook at all. If it weren’t for Aunt Fran, who had taught Bella to cook some basic things and was constantly sending new recipes, they’d probably starve. She’d had it with waiting on menfolk.

  She did worry about leaving Joey, who’d just started school. Gina, who was three years older, took night classes at UConn in Storrs and, during the day, was learning how to keep the books for the garden center. Plus she’d been dating Manny Ramirez since junior year. She wasn’t really around very much.

  But nothing would stop Bella from leaving. Surely her dad would be okay with Joey, right? Even though he was an old-school parent and would probably starve to death without her cooking or get a heart attack from eating too many drive-through burgers.