Can't Stop Loving You

by Miranda Liasson

  CHAPTER 20

  Roman walked into his house after dark, muddy and a little achy in the back from hauling all those pumpkins. He’d worked his ass off today for Vito D’Angelo.

  That wasn’t true. He’d done it for her.

  At least the worst of the storm had passed over. The hail never came, and his apples would be fine. All he wanted now was to be alone in his house, but wouldn’t you know, he found Drew and Lukas in his living room eating a pizza.

  Whatever had happened to his love of solitude? His life of contemplation in the country? He’d gained brothers and lost his quiet life, and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that.

  Or about anything, really. Being so close to Bella all day without talking to her had made him really cranky. It felt wrong. A couple of times she’d approached him, and he’d purposely feigned busyness. He’d been an ass, and he knew it.

  “We were still hungry so we found a twenty on the kitchen counter and used it to order more pizza,” Drew said.

  “Have some,” Lukas offered. “You’re an ass, by the way.”

  “No, thanks,” Roman said, propping himself on a couch arm. He didn’t want any pizza. He wanted Bella.

  “I mean, I get that you’ve had your share of rejection in your life,” Lukas said. “When we were split up as kids, with Bella . . .”

  “You sound like my mother,” Roman said. “Please don’t go there.”

  “I’m sensing a pattern,” Lukas said. “I just think you’ve got some issues.”

  “Maybe we all do,” Roman said, glancing at Drew, who was polishing off a piece of pizza in three bites.

  Drew looked up to find his brothers shaking their heads at him. “What? Hey, this isn’t about me.” He pointed to Roman. “It’s about him.”

  “Look,” Lukas said. “We lost our parents and each other. Those are hard losses to recover from. It’s hard to trust people when you’ve been hurt that badly. I just think you might be missing the point here.”

  “I already lost Bella,” Roman said. “So that’s a moot point.”

  “You can’t give up without telling her how you really feel about her,” Lukas said. “Tell her how much you care.”

  “I’ve done nothing but care about her.” For about a thousand years. “You don’t even know what we fought about.”

  “I don’t care what you fought about. Have you told her you love her?”

  “It’s a little hard to do that when you’re seriously pissed off at someone.”

  Roman wasn’t used to having heart-to-hearts with anyone, let alone with long-lost brothers, but he understood that they were trying to be there for him.

  “Think about what happened with us as kids,” Lukas said. “You always shut yourself off when you were hurt, told yourself you didn’t need anybody. But now you’ve got an opportunity for a do over. How many people actually get that?”

  That hit home.

  He should’ve figured it out, way back then. That she’d been young and frightened and faced with an impossible decision. What choice did she really have but to pick her baby brother? He shouldn’t have left her to face everything on her own. Lukas was right. He’d shut down, tried to cut her out of his life. Left and never came back.

  Hadn’t he done the same thing this time? Thought more about how their breakup had hurt him than what she was left to deal with?

  Trouble was, leaving didn’t make a person forget. It didn’t make him stop loving her.

  And he did love her, with all his heart. He was sick of their relationship being about the past. It was time to turn that page for good.

  “Sure you don’t want any pizza?” Drew asked, reaching for another slice.

  “I’m okay,” Roman said. “But, Drew, I have something to say.”

  “What is it, bro?” Drew asked.

  “Since we’re being brothers tonight, I have to tell you something that I mean in the nicest possible way.”

  “Sure. What is it?” Drew asked, setting down his plate.

  “You need to leave,” Roman said. “You need to go back and face whatever you did back in New York. Time’s up for hiding out.”

  Drew sighed. “I know.”

  “It’ll be okay,” Lukas said, squeezing his shoulder. “Whatever it is, you can handle it.”

  “Hope so,” Drew said. “Um, we sort of have a proposition for you.”

  “For me?” Roman asked.

  “Yeah, about that,” Lukas said. “We want to be full partners in your brandy business. That way we can invest some capital and you can be up and running sometime this century.”

  “I don’t want a handout from anybody.”

  “It’s not a handout,” Drew said, rolling his eyes. “It’s an investment. Based on a hunch that you’re going to be very successful.”

  “And based on the fact that we’re brothers,” Lukas said.

  “Wow. Thanks,” Roman said, genuinely floored. “I may take you up on that.” But truthfully, his mind was somewhere else. “I’ve got to go now. It’s Thursday night.”

  “Thursday night?” Drew asked, puzzled. “Is that code for time to drink? I’m all for starting the weekend early.”

  Roman smacked him on the back. “Time for group therapy. It’s a special session tonight because it’s Effie’s birthday next Monday.”

  “They cancel group here if it’s someone’s birthday?” Drew asked.

  “If you’re Effie Scofield and it’s Mirror Lake, yes,” Lukas said. “What are you waiting for?” he asked Roman. “Except don’t forget to go wash that stink off of you first.”

  Roman gave Lukas a friendly shove, just to get him back for that. Then he got serious. “Look,” he said. “I just wanted to say . . . thanks.” Not the mushiest sentiment. He tried a little harder. “I’m glad you guys are back in my life.”

  “Welcome,” Lukas said. “I always wanted to do backbreaking pumpkin-picking labor all day.” He flashed a smile. “Especially since we never got to pick any as kids.”

  Drew laughed. “Yeah. Beats making millions on Wall Street any day.”

  “Hey,” Roman said. “I did buy you guys a pizza.”

  “Don’t worry,” Drew said. “While you’re gone we’ll stay here and finish it for you.”

  Roman rolled his eyes. Brothers. Gotta love ’em.

  “Roman sent over a handful of men and his brothers and worked all afternoon with us, but he barely spoke to me,” Bella told Maggie as she pulled the chocolate sheet cake out of the fridge in the back of the office. “Before I got in the shower, I threw the batter into a baking pan, and here it is. Nothing fancy.”

  “Hey, it’s chocolate,” Maggie said. “It doesn’t have to be fancy. You didn’t even have to bring anything. Are you all right?”

  Bella shrugged. “Been better, but I’m okay.”

  “That was really nice what Roman did.”

  “He’s a nice guy,” Bella said. A guy who’d dropped everything to help her crotchety father. Who went out of his way to help her to rescue a mangy dog and gave her brother extra work and rescued her from a string of bad dates.

  “You sure he didn’t have an ulterior motive?”

  “He barely spoke to me all day.”

  “I’m so sorry, Bella. You sure you don’t want me to run group tonight? Griffin loves his new sitter. If I called and asked her, I bet—”

  “Go home to your son, and quit worrying about me.” She paused before walking out into their waiting area. “I’m glad I told the truth. It needed telling. Maybe someday he can forgive me for deceiving him.”

  “Maybe you just shocked him, you know? And he was hurt and angry over that. Maybe he loves you enough to get over it.”

  Bella shrugged. “He felt betrayed, and I don’t blame him. But I’m okay. I came clean with him and my father. Finally, I’m going to put the past behind me for good.”

  Maggie gave her a hug. “Rest up after all that the pumpkin picking, and we’ll plan something fun for next week, okay?”
/>   “As long as it doesn’t involve fixing me up on any more dates.”

  Maggie held up her hands. “I’m done with matchmaking.”

  “Promise?”

  “I wish there was something else I could do to stop you from leaving, but I understand.”

  “You’re a good friend, Maggie, and I love you.” Bella took a moment to hug her, then picked up her chocolate cake and walked out to the waiting room. The ladies had already put all the chairs into a big circle, and the coffeepot was chugging, sending the rich odor of fresh coffee everywhere. It appeared that circle time had already begun, because they were already talking.

  “This is a group of healing,” Effie was saying. “We want to hear all about what you have to say.”

  Uh oh, looked like they’d started without her. Bella put the cake pan on the foldout table she and Maggie had set up, next to the napkins and paper plates. She’d just slid over Alethea’s baklava to make more room when she heard a familiar voice.

  “I loved my girlfriend as much as you could love anyone when you’re eighteen. I believed what we had could last. But what do you really know at eighteen?”

  Oh God. That voice. She’d recognize it anywhere. It was deep and male and Roman. Her back still to the group, she froze, unable to turn around.

  “Eighteen is so young. It’s babies,” Effie said. “I’ve seen a lot of young mothers in my time as a nurse. It’s very difficult to get your feet on the ground and get an education once you have children to support.”

  “My girlfriend in Greece was married at eighteen to a tycoon,” Alethea said. “Thirty years older than she was. When he died she inherited everything. That was her version of financial planning for the future.”

  Fran sighed. “Eighteen is just so young.”

  “When Queen Elizabeth married Philip,” Gloria said, concurring, “she was twenty-one. And a half.”

  “Go on, Roman,” Effie said. “Tell us the rest of your story.”

  “I really shouldn’t burden everyone with my problems.”

  “Now, now, dear,” Effie consoled in that sweet little voice. “That’s why we’re here. You can feel free to say whatever you want.”

  Bella turned to see Effie patting him on the knee. Roman. He was here, sitting in the circle wearing a charcoal gray V-neck sweater with his jeans, his arms folded across his big, broad chest. Her dog was parked happily at his side. Gracie even shot her a guilty look but didn’t budge from where Roman was calmly stroking her fur.

  “Roman—” Bella began and immediately her throat felt clogged with Kleenex. Oh, she needed to tell him how much he meant to her, that he meant everything, and beg his forgiveness, and she didn’t care if every old lady in Mirror Lake heard. Or if they shouted her story to the whole damn town or the world for that matter, as long as he listened. As long as he gave her one more chance.

  “Shhh, Bella, we’re listening,” Alethea said a little testily.

  “Let the man talk,” Fran said, waving her away.

  “So, anyway,” Roman continued, looking at her from his seat in the circle as she managed to pull out an empty chair from the circle and sit down. “I had this plan. I was going to join the army, and after basic training, she’d come join me wherever I was stationed, and we’d be okay. But she said no. She said now that there was no baby, there was no reason to rush into marriage. She wanted to go to school, and she had obligations at home. But then she told me she needed her freedom.”

  “No! She didn’t!” Gloria said, clutching her chest.

  “I loved you more than anyone or anything.” The words poured out of Bella’s mouth, unstoppable. She had to make him understand. “The day I lost your baby was the day I thought my life would end. Because it was the day I lost you, too.” Her voice cracked. Her eyes flooded. She was not sure she could do this.

  “Go on, dear,” Effie soothed.

  “Telling the truth is always best,” Alethea said.

  “Her father threatened to cut off his you-know-what if he ever came near Bella again,” Fran said with a knowing nod.

  She stood up. “Joey was so young, and my father was so—powerful. I thought when I lied to you I was being noble, but I was really being stupid. I was miserable without you. I thought of you, dreamed of you, for years. And when you came back, I was so afraid that I would fall for you all over again, and if I had to endure that heartbreak again it would kill me. So I told myself I wouldn’t fall again. I’d keep it light. That’s why I wanted to keep you a secret from my family.”

  “He’s too gorgeous to keep a secret, dear,” Alethea said.

  “Problem is, I fell in love with you again the second I bumped into you at that wedding.” The tears were waterfalls now, but she forced herself to finish. “I love you, Roman. I’ll always love you. Forgive me. For taking away your choices. For lying to you. I promise, if you take me back, I’ll never keep anything from you again.”

  Suddenly he was there, wrapping his hands around her waist and lifting her up so that her feet left the ground, planting his lips possessively over hers. She didn’t see him very clearly through the tears but God, she felt him, his lips sliding over hers, his arms holding her like they’d never let her go. “I love you,” he said when the kiss was done. He leveled his gaze straight at her and gathered up her hands in his. “If I would have known, I never would have left you. You know that, right?”

  “I know.” She was gripping his hands right back like they were joined together by superglue and she would not be putting them down anytime soon. But he didn’t seem to mind.

  “I’ve been an ass. I felt hurt and betrayed, but I was thinking of me, not you. I understand now that you had no choice. Hell, I should have put it all together way back then, but my pride was too wounded. You were afraid and alone, and I left you to shoulder everything by yourself. I’m sorry, Bella, for all the pain in our past.”

  The soft gray walls blurred again, as did the cute lamps and the faces of all the women. She did happen to notice that Maggie was there, too, tearing up from the doorway.

  Roman dropped to one knee. “Arabella, I’ve never stopped loving you.” He pulled a ring out of his pocket. “I want you to be my wife. So we can build a family together. I promise that I’ll do everything in my power to make up for these years we’ve been apart.”

  “I love you, Roman,” she said, throwing herself into his arms and kissing him like this was their last kiss on earth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, threaded her fingers through his thick, silky hair, and clung to him. He held her tight, wrapping his big, strong arms around her and pulling her to him so there was not an inch of space between them. Then his mouth was on hers and he was kissing her back, his hand circling gently around her neck to tug her even closer, like he was in no hurry at all. A full, wonderful kiss that wasn’t gentle or careful but soft and slow and possessive, like they belonged only to each other and had all the time in the world, an entire future, ahead of them.

  Gracie trotted over, wanting to get in on the action, and began nudging between them, even going so far as to crotch-butt Roman until he finally rubbed behind her ears and told her she was a very good dog and, yes, he loved her, too.

  “Excuse me,” said a heavily accented male voice. “But I am looking for Ms. Francesca D’Angelo.”

  Everyone looked up. In the doorway was a distinguished-looking, gray-haired man in a suit and tie, holding a classic fedora to his chest.

  “Dominic!” Aunt Fran stood and walked over to the man. “Dominic, what are you doing here?”

  “Who is that?” Alethea asked. “He’s handsome, too.”

  “Why is this family so secretive?” Gloria asked. “Hiding all these gorgeous men.”

  “He’s a doctor,” Effie said.

  “He’s Italian,” Gloria said. “Maybe he’s a prince.”

  “He’s real,” Bella said. “Thank God.” It was the man from the boat they’d seen Fran with. As real as could be. And judging from Fran’s blush, he meant somethi
ng important to her. She prayed that Fran would get the opportunity for the happy ending she deserved.

  “I thought you were on your way back to Palermo,” Fran said.

  “I couldn’t leave without you, Francesca. Will you marry me?”

  “I love group therapy,” Alethea said, clapping her hands.

  “It’s better than the movies,” Gloria said.

  Effie nodded. “And the best part is . . . more weddings.”

  EPILOGUE

  Roman and Bella were in the new house before the baby was due the next September, which was a great blessing. A Victorian-style house, with a turret and a big wraparound porch that looked out over the lake in one direction and the orchards in the other. With a side yard big enough to plant a big, long strip of irises and tulips and daffodils. Which Bella was certain her father would help them with, as soon as it got cold enough to plant some bulbs.

  “Beautiful,” Bella said as they sat on their porch on a quiet August evening, right before apple season. Except Bella was having trouble getting comfortable, considering she felt like she was about ten months pregnant when she was really only almost nine.

  “Yes, you are,” Roman said, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirky half smile that she loved.

  She smiled back, grateful for the compliment, before shifting again on the glider. He always told her she was beautiful, and it never failed to touch her, especially now when her ankles were thick and her toes resembled little cocktail sausages. He also tried hard not to complain when she slipped and forgot to put her clothes in the hamper, or when the mail pile got out of line, and she bit her tongue to not tease him at the way he insisted on lining up all his shirts and socks and underwear in color-coordinated order.

  Because mostly it felt so good to finally be together, and she thought that maybe they understood better than most new couples how little any of that stuff really mattered, and what a miracle it was that they’d found each other again. “It’s so peaceful here,” she said. “Who’d have ever thought we’d have our own place on the lake one day?”