Beautiful Surrender (Pride and Honor Book 4)

by Ember-Raine Winters

“Keller got shot?”

  “Are you just going to keep repeating everything I say? Yes, Keller was shot and it wouldn’t have happened if Kim hadn’t tipped Barnes off on the storage locker Brock used to store his explosives. Well, I’m assuming it was Kim and not Brock.”

  “Shit, she is dangerous. Maybe we’ll slip her one of Pix sleeping pills and leave in the middle of the night.” Griffin suggested.

  “Good idea, actually. Let me know if you need someone to meet you at the airport.”

  Hanging up the phone, I walked across the living room and plopped down on the couch, pulling Kenzie in to my arms. She moved stiffly and I knew that she was still blaming herself. “Come on, let’s go to bed; it’s after midnight. Griffin will call if he needs me.”

  She nodded her head and stood to move from the couch. I could see it written all over her face. The guilt was consuming her. She was preparing herself to leave, but I needed her, loved her and hell if I was going to let her go. I just wish she could see that I wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Hey, what’s going on in that head of yours?” I asked grabbing her hand as soon as the door closed. We decided to stay up here that way if Barnes found a way in we could defend better against his attack.

  “This doesn’t change anything. Either way, I’m the reason this all happened. I need to get away from you before it happens to you too.” Tears were slowly making their way down her adorable face.

  “No. Kenzie, I don’t want you to go. We can figure this out. We are stronger together. We can beat him. Please don’t leave again.”

  “Don’t you see that everyone I love dies? My mom died because she refused to abort me. Ellie’s husband Robert died when I was twenty years old. He was old, sure, but he still left me. After he died, I left Ellie so that it wouldn’t happen to her too. You know what, though? I have no idea if it actually will. This. Right here is why I don’t get close to people. Look what happened to Mac. What happened to Marcy to Twitch… to you.” She laid a palm on my cheek and smiled. “You could have died, Trey. So many times because of me. I refuse to continue to tempt fate. As much as we were angry about what Mac said, in the end he’d put the pieces together before we did.”

  She turned to walk away but I grabbed her arm and spun her around. Our lips met in a fury. She tried to pull away, but I put my hand on the back of her head to keep her there. It only took a moment for her to stop fighting me, and then I leaned my forehead against hers.

  “If you insist on leaving, give me this. Give me this one night to show you how much I love you. Give me one last memory to take with me forever,” I whispered close to her lips. Tears were leaking from her eyes and she shook her head but kissed me hard and fast.

  It was like something broke inside of both of us. We couldn’t get close enough fast enough, rushing off to my bedroom. Clothes were torn and flying all over. My lips and hands were everywhere and nowhere all at once. I couldn’t get enough of her. I had no idea who I thought I was fooling. I wasn’t letting her go. She was mine and no matter what I would follow her to the ends of the earth.

  I pinned her arms to the bed and growled. “You’re mine.” I sucked one pert nipple into my mouth until she cried out and then moved lower. I blew a breath across her center and she whimpered.

  “Trey, I need you.”

  “Say it. Say you’re mine.”

  “I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.”

  I groaned and dove in licking up and down her slit like a man possessed. I wanted to commit her taste her smell the feel of her silky soft skin to memory in case I woke up tomorrow and she was gone. This moment, this experience needed to last until I dragged her ass back here and handcuffed her to my bed again. She may think I was letting her go, but she had no idea.

  Her head thrashed from side to side and I knew she was close. I released her hands and shoved two fingers inside her and curled them around looking for the button that would set her off in a matter of seconds. She came screaming my name.

  Crawling back up her body slowly I thrust inside her. Inch by torturous inch. She wiggled her hips in an attempt to get me to speed up but I just smiled and said, “If this is all I’m getting, I’m gonna make it last.”

  I was going to give her so many orgasms that she would be boneless, and it would be impossible for her to move, let alone leave. We moved together like that for a long time staring into each other’s eyes until I couldn’t take it anymore. The slow burn of my body and the intensity of her stare. Her eyes were telling me everything her lips wouldn’t and I broke. I came with a groan and the sweetest feeling of euphoria filled me as I laid down next to her and cradled her in my arms.

  “I love you, Kenzie.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  KENZIE

  “I love you too Trey,” I whispered into the quiet room. He didn’t hear me though. He passed out almost immediately after saying the words. I had to wait a while longer before I could extricate myself from his arms, which was a horribly painful task that I had to force myself to complete. I didn’t want to ever leave him, but I knew that if I didn’t my actions could very well get him killed.

  When I finally found the strength to get out of bed, I dressed quickly and quietly. Before shutting the door behind me, I took one last long look at him. He was so peaceful when he was asleep. I felt horrible leaving in the middle of the night like this but I knew I couldn’t look into his eyes and then leave. My chest literally hurt as I crept through the apartment.

  A light turned on as I entered the living room and I must have looked like I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. Ace shot me a glare and folded his arms over his chest. “Where are you going, Kenzie?”

  “None of your business, Ace.”

  “It looks to me like you’re running scared.”

  “The only thing I’m scared of is my actions hurting the people I care about.” I glared at him.

  “You don’t think that they might have an opinion about that? They might not be cowards, like you. Trey loves you and would rather be with you than without you, and just because you think he’s better off without you you’re gonna run scared?”

  I had no idea what was up with Ace. He almost seemed as if he was speaking from past experience. He didn’t know me. He didn’t know that my life was screwed from the beginning. He couldn’t possibly understand.

  I walked past him to the front door and opened it before turning around to face him. “I don’t know who she was, but I can tell that she hurt you. I hope you make peace with it someday.” I smiled at him softly and walked out the door.

  **

  The hotel room felt cold and empty. I had no idea what I was going to do now. I had copies of all the files from Bob’s thumb drive, and I had all the login information to become Thanatos. I could post all the information on the internet and wait for Barnes to be taken down, but I wouldn’t do that to Trey. He worked hard and I wouldn’t take that away from him.

  I laid on the bed for hours trying in vain to sleep, but sleep refused to come. I kept thinking about what Ace said. He called me a coward. Is it cowardly to not to want my friends to get hurt because of my decisions? I didn’t think so. Ace was just bitter because he’d been hurt before. I was sure of it. Laying there wallowing wasn’t helping at all so I got up and booted up my machine. My phone rang.

  “Brock? Where are you?”

  “I just got into LAX. What’s going on?”

  “Kim is peddling the same story that you are. One of you is lying,” I said angrily and started pacing.

  “I don’t know what to tell you, Kenzie. You gotta make your own decision on who to believe.”

  It was such a typical Brock answer and I sighed. “I know. It just sucks. I’m going off grid for a while. I’m hoping I can make some sense of all this.”

  “Okay kiddo, call me if you need me… and if you decide to trust me again,” he replied and hung up the phone. I was sure that I had hurt his feelings even if logical Brock wa
s still there making complete sense. I needed to figure shit out, and I needed to do it without Trey. I didn’t even want to know why that thought hurt so much.

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  TREY

  She was gone. I knew it before I even opened my eyes. Rolling over, I felt the cold spot next to me and my eyes flew open. After last night and the emotion that occurred in this bed, I really didn’t think she’d do it. That she would actually leave. An echo of something was niggling at the back of my mind. “I love you too Trey” I was sure I had never heard her say those words before but they haunted me, laughing at me as I got up and dressed for the day.

  I walked out into the living room to find it packed to capacity. The first thing I noticed was Buck standing there.

  “I thought you were staying with Keller?” I said and everyone looked over at me, stunned.

  “He’s stable. He told me to leave, that he was fine and you needed my help here.”

  “Where is she?” I asked hopefully and everyone averted their eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

  “I’m sorry, brother,” Griffin said and clapped me on the back. I felt nothing. Empty. Without her, I was totally numb and I hated it.

  “It’s all right.” I tried to smile but couldn’t get my face to move. “I need to get in touch with Marie and see if she can get me into the masquerade party.”

  I walked away to grab my phone and Ace followed me. “I tried to get her to change her mind.”

  “It’s all right. I just never thought she’d do it. Shows what a great judge of character I am.”

  “No, she shouldn’t have left like that. She’s being stupid. They are trying to separate us. I wouldn’t be surprised if both Brock and Kim were in on it together.”

  “If they were both in on it, they wouldn’t have seen a point in outing themselves. They could have both come back together. Why all the bullshit? It makes more sense that one of them betrayed the other.”

  “The point is, someone knew she would react like this. They figured we only had one decent hacker and a tech guy. They wanted Kenzie out of the way. She could very possibly be in danger right now,” Ace said vehemently.

  “Shit. You’re right. Let me make this call and we will see if we can find her,” I said clapping him on the shoulder. “Thanks, man.”

  Dialing the phone, I waited until she picked up tapping my foot on the floor impatiently. “Hello” came a hushed whisper on the other end of the line.

  “Marie, I need to talk to you about something.”

  “Trey, I was going to text you in a moment. Meet me at the coffee shop on Eighth in an hour.”

  “You got it.” Now it was time for the real problem. Finding Kenzie when she didn’t want to be found. I had a feeling that would be harder than anything we had been through so far. I tried calling her, but I already knew that wasn’t going to work. I texted her after.

  Kenzie: 9:23AM: Sunshine, if you get this, you might be in danger. Come back and we can do this together.

  That was about all I could do. If I said anymore she might be suspicious. I wanted to tell her to come back and that I love her but I couldn’t do that. She made a choice when she decided to leave and no matter how bad it hurt, I had to respect that choice… for now.

  “I gotta go meet Marie. I’ll be back,” I said as I moved towards the door.

  “Whoa brother, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “If she wanted us dead, we would be dead. She knew every plan we made back in Louisiana and nothing catastrophic happened. I count her as an ally. Plus, she has information for me. Hopefully she knows where to find Twitch.”

  “Okay, as long as you know what you’re doing.” Griffin nodded.

  “I’ll keep blowing up Kenzie’s phone. I have a feeling this is partially my fault,” Mac said hanging his head.

  “Partially? Try mostly, you giant jackass.” Marcy smacked him upside the head. I laughed for the first time since I woke up that morning and it felt good.

  “Thanks guys. She blamed herself for a lot of what happened to you. The fire and the accident,” I said soberly.

  “That’s ridiculous,” Marcy yelled, and I swear she shot fire out of her eyes at Mac and he cowered just a bit before picking up his phone and dialing. Marcy smiled smugly at me and winked.

  I left the apartment and drove to Eighth Street to the little coffee shop on the corner and waited in the car. It was closed for renovations and there were no cars in the parking lot. A man who looked as if he must be Marie’s bodyguard came out of the building and nodded at me, so I got out and followed him inside.

  The furniture had plastic covering it and the acrid smell of fresh paint filled my nostrils. I nearly gagged. Marie was sitting towards the back and the scene was eerily familiar. I got a pang in my chest that Kenzie wasn’t there with me.

  “I know where your friend is, and I can get him out for you. I’m warning you though, from what I’ve been informed, he’s not doing well. He’ll need a hospital immediately.” She rushed out before I barely sat down.

  “Thank God he’s still alive. You’ll contact us as soon as you have him secured. We are all going out of our minds with him gone, but Tasha is nearly on the brink.” She nodded in acknowledgement. Okay, one task down… “Can I ask one more favor? I need to get into the masquerade gala Barnes is hosting.”

  “Interesting. I can only imagine it’s for something particularly humiliating.” She smiled evilly. “Got a plan you care to share?”

  “Why yes. I plan to unveil all his dirty deeds and show everyone who’s anyone in Hollywood what a slime bucket he really is.”

  “I can get you the tickets, and if there is anything I can do to help with that let me know,” she said and stood. “It’s almost over and then we will all be free.”

  “You said something about Kim that I can’t get out of my head. I’m just curious if maybe she has Stockholm Syndrome from being his prisoner all those years,” I said thoughtfully.

  “Prisoner?” She laughed as if it was the most ludicrous idea she’d ever heard. “Kim was never Roger’s prisoner. She was a willing participant in all this. Don’t trust her. The gala is in two days; I will email you specific instructions and courier over the tickets. I’ll let you know when and where to meet me to pick up your friend.”

  As soon as the words left her mouth she got up and walked out the back. I had so many more questions for her, but it looked as if our meeting was over. I moved quickly because if the gala was in two days instead of five like we thought, then I had a lot to do and very little time to do it.

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

  KENZIE

  I swore if Mac didn’t stop calling me, I was gonna kick him in the teeth. My phone buzzed again and I looked down to see it was Brock again. I told him that I was going off the grid. What in the hell did he want? One thought about Trey’s text message earlier had me picking up the phone. “Hello?”

  “Kenzie, you need to get out of that room. They are on to you. I don’t know if they followed you there or if someone tipped them off, but you gotta go.”

  Knock. Knock. knock. “Housekeeping,” a trembling voice said from the other side of the door.

  “Shit. They’re already here.” I looked for an escape but didn’t find one. The knocking continued as I searched. The window would have to do. It was one of the reasons I always picked rooms close to the bottom floor. Easier to escape if there wasn’t another way. The window only opened halfway, so it was gonna be a squeeze. The ledge was big enough that I could set my bag on it and shimmy through. Not a second after I closed the window, the door to the room burst open. Putting my bag on my back, I leaned over to look for the next ledge. I was lucky that I could reach with my tip toes. Lowering myself down, I grabbed on to the edge and touched my toes to the ground below and took off to the nearest busy street and called Brock back.

  “How did you know that?” I asked when he answered. My adrenaline was pumping
too high for me to be polite.

  “My contact inside told me.”

  “How did you know where I was?” I was being suspicious of him even though he probably just saved my life. For all I knew, he set that up to regain my trust though. “What the fuck am I gonna do now?”

  “I think you should go back to Trey. You’ll be safer with them than you are alone.”

  “I can’t,” I sighed. “They have been calling me all day and I haven’t answered a single phone call.”

  “I’m sure it will be fine. You need to protect yourself.”

  I was walking down the road and the early evening sunset was casting shadows in every corner. I knew Brock was right. I had to go back. There was too much at stake if I didn’t, but what was at stake if I did? Trey or any one of the others could die because of me. Mac and Marcy already had a couple close calls because of my decisions. “Okay, Brock, I’ll think about it.”

  “Good, go now because they aren’t done with you kid, and I have a feeling your death isn’t a part of their plan. They want to use you.”

  “All right, all right. I’m going. I have another call. Talk to you later.”

  I hesitated when I saw who it was. Mac had been calling non-stop and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to face him. “Hello?”

  “Barbie?” he asked into the phone as if he didn’t actually expect me to answer, and I smiled in spite of myself. The nickname was kind of growing on me.

  “What can I do for you, Mac?”

  “Um, I don’t know, you can get your fucking ass back here,” he said and I heard a loud smack. Ah there was the Mac I knew and loved. “Ow, Pix. What the fuck?”

  “Give me that damn phone you idiot.” I heard Marcy’s tinkling voice. “Kenzie? Thank God you’re all right. We have been looking for you all day.”

  “First, how in the hell do you put up with him?” She and I both giggled into the phone; I was actually happier now talking to the crew again—shockingly, even Mac. “But more importantly, why would you think I wasn’t okay?