Touch of Heartache

by Joy Penny

  Lilac nodded and Frankie took both their cups, looking around for the recycling, which was way back by where they’d gotten their drinks.

  Turning back to Nolan, Lilac watched him as he left the Cool School, bowing slightly in apology, and dragged his little brother along with his stomping sister over to a corner. He bent down to her level and looked her in the eye, but she refused to look at him. He dropped Landon’s hand to gently place a finger and thumb alongside Willow’s face to push it back toward him.

  Lilac had no idea when in life she’d get around to having kids—as much fun as somebody else’s could be—but man, if her insides didn’t melt seeing him like that. True, he still looked a bit like a kid in her eyes—albeit an older teen kid—but he would make a gorgeous, loving father one day. She was sure of it.

  And she didn’t realize how fast that would make her heart beat.

  What about the worldly traveler you have your heart set on? she reminded herself. How would you travel that much with kids?

  Lilac shook her head. So he was cute. And responsible. And fatherly. He still looked like a frat boy and frat boys weren’t good for much beyond a few weeks’ worth of fun.

  Then again, she could do right now with a few weeks’ worth of fun.

  She dove into her purse for her mirror, checking her flyaways and quickly letting down her hair to redo it into a bun again. She had some pretty crummy granny panties on and her bra had seen better days—her stuff had arrived a couple of days before and she had more to fill Frankie’s guest room closet with—but she wasn’t about to do anything wild before they even had an official date. Besides, he had his brother and sister with him. Even on the weekend. Lilac wondered how busy his parents could possibly be.

  She stood as Aunt Frankie approached the table again. “Maybe I will—” Lilac started, her eyes flicking toward Nolan, who now stood, grabbing both kids’ hands again and leading them away.

  “You’ll what?” Frankie nudged her, a knowing look on her face. “Go after him. Quick!”

  Lilac opened her mouth just as her phone buzzed. Gavin has another date today, she remembered, and thought of how she’d asked him to keep her up to date. If Gavin needed her, that was more important than this frat boy—and besides, he was clearly busy.

  “Oh,” she said, her face falling as she saw the screen. It was a call. From Earl.

  Frankie frowned. “What’s he want? It’s your day off.”

  “I better see.” She took a deep breath. He’s your boss. Be professional. “Yes? Lilac speaking,” she said. Nolan and the kids were gone now, lost to the crowd.

  “Oh, good, you answered!” said Earl. Even just the sound of his voice was enough to send her impulse to gag into overdrive. “Night shifts and weekend shifts are all here,” he said, referring to the other managerial crews that reported to him but took over when he had time off. “I thought I’d introduce you.”

  “Now?” asked Lilac. She regretted it almost instantly.

  “Yes,” said Earl, clearly disappointed. “Unless you’re too busy to come in. I can’t offer you overtime, but this is a casual gathering, and everyone else managed to be here.”

  Then why didn’t you warn me earlier instead of springing this on me at the last minute? He had mentioned wanting to introduce her to everyone else, but he hadn’t said when. “No, it’s fine. It’s just that I’m not dressed for work—”

  “Casual,” repeated Earl. “I’m sure whatever your pretty little self has on right now will do just fine.”

  Lilac swallowed as she looked down at her tank top and Capri pants. They weren’t exactly cheaply made, but even so. She’d have worn it to Tent Tildy as a “camper,” but not on the “Tildy Scout” side of things. Frankie studied her quizzically as she grabbed her own phone off the table.

  “All right,” said Lilac, taking a deep breath. “I can be there in thirty.”

  “Great! We’re meeting at Tildy’s Campfire,” he said, referring to the resort sit-down restaurant. Lilac felt immediately better, knowing she wouldn’t be headed back to that office with him.

  It didn’t bode well for her job if she couldn’t stand to be in that office with him, but he just kept walking that line.

  “See you there,” said Lilac as she ended the call. She explained the situation to her aunt.

  Frankie shook her head. “This sets a bad precedent,” she said. “What if he wants you to come in on your days off all the time?”

  Says the woman who’s never worked an 8-5 in her life, as far as I recall, thought Lilac. She swapped her phone for her new set of keys in her purse. Her aunt had met her at the mall after the car lot, so they each had their own ride now. “Then that’s what I’ll have to do,” said Lilac. “I’m here because I want to work here.” She pushed visions of Minnesota and all her teaching degree work out of her head. “This is what I need to do.”

  “Okay,” said Frankie, but she didn’t sound sure. “Let me know if you’re going to be very late. I don’t want to worry about you getting lost in the dark on the way back.”

  Lilac grimaced. That, unfortunately, was the least of her worries.

  Dinner went well enough. Earl and the weekend day guy, Christian, talked a lot—a lot—and that left the rest of the table rather quiet. But everyone else seemed nice enough. The one awkward moment had been when she’d sat down and shaken everyone’s hands. When she’d finished, Earl had elbowed Christian, who, like Earl, had a wedding ring on his finger, and said, “I told you she was cute, didn’t I?” Christian hadn’t said anything, just chuckled, but she could feel his leer on her after that. Both their leers. The only other woman there, Jillian, one of the two night managers, had glared at Lilac then, as if it had been her fault and not the men’s.

  So Lilac had mostly just listened instead of talking. She knew Brielle especially thought of her as a talker, but that was only when she was comfortable around everyone around her. She was so completely uncomfortable at this table, the most she’d done was place her order. She hadn’t drunk alcohol, though everyone else at the table had. Her head still ached a bit from the mini-bender she’d gone on the night before.

  Earl had had several drinks. The longer the dinner went on, the louder and more talkative he became.

  “Well, I suppose I’ve been away from the desk for long enough,” said Christian. He and the other shift managers shared a single desk around the corner from Earl’s office and he was supposed to be on duty. “Unless, Jillian, you want to get your shift started early?”

  Sipping her water, Jillian raised her eyebrows. She’d stopped at just one cocktail.

  “I’ll take that as a ‘no,’” said Christian. He stood. “Nice to meet you, Lilac. Welcome to the team.” He winked as he grabbed his suit coat and Lilac tried to smile.

  “Let’s see if you last longer than any of Earl’s other girls,” mumbled Jillian from behind her cup. Lilac looked at her, but no one else seemed to have heard it and everyone else got ready to go their separate ways.

  Lilac fished her phone out of her purse in an effort to look busy and unconcerned, despite how nauseous she was starting to feel. She was ready to make her own excuses, make up a fake message if need be, when she saw a text Gavin had sent a couple of hours before, probably right after Earl had called.

  Call me? it asked. I had a shitty day. A shitty date.

  Lilac felt guilty. She quickly texted her apologies and excuses, promising to call him when she got back home.

  It took just a bit for Gavin’s text to arrive. It’s okay, he wrote. I’m feeling better. But do call me. Brielle bumped into Pembroke and some shit is going down! He stopped typing.

  She’d almost forgotten about Pembroke. She was actually fighting with Brielle? Was Pembroke capable of fighting with anyone?

  “No, it’s on Tildy,” said Earl to the dispersing group. He grabbed the server’s arm as she passed and Lilac saw the way the young woman’s face soured at the touch. “Charge it to my account,” he said. “Add fifteen percent
for yourself.” He didn’t let go of her arm. “Give me a smile and you can make it twenty percent.”

  She smiled then. Like a serial killer about to commit her first murder.

  But it did for Earl and he laughed, letting go of her arm. She hustled away.

  “Nice meeting you, everyone,” said Lilac as she stood and pushed in her chair. She clutched her phone in her hand as she picked up her purse and slid it over her shoulder. “I have to go.” She shook the phone, as if it would explain her need to depart.

  “Wait, wait,” said Earl, dabbing his lips with his napkin. “We have to discuss what you did yesterday—sorry I had to duck out early.”

  Lilac looked between Earl and Jillian, almost as if hoping Jillian might help her figure out what to say. Jillian just rolled her eyes and stared across the room at a screen playing Tildy Tapir cartoons.

  Thanks, thought Lilac. “I’ll tell you everything Monday,” said Lilac, dropping her phone in the purse and fishing out her keys.

  “I thought your aunt gave you rides,” said Earl. “That’s what Tara told me anyway.”

  Wow, so you do remember you have a wife? thought Lilac bitterly. “New car,” she said, quietly.

  “Nice! Hope she’s a beaut.” He stood, chortling as Lilac nodded and turned to go. “But since no one’s here to pick you up, you can stay a bit. It won’t take us long. Just twenty minutes or so.”

  Lilac caught herself about to sigh. In and out, she told herself. Just update him on the event and get in and out. “Okay,” she said, trying hard to keep the reluctance out of her voice.

  “I’ll be at my desk in an hour if you need me,” said Jillian then, and Lilac wasn’t sure if she was speaking to Earl or Lilac herself. Earl answered, saying his goodbyes, but Jillian’s eyes caught Lilac’s knowingly, and Lilac felt something deep in the pit of her stomach warning her it wasn’t too late yet.

  Earl usually hung his suit jacket up on a coat rack the minute he walked through the office door, but today he had on a polo shirt and khakis. His arms were quite hairy—the grays and blacks poking out even more among the tanned, leather-like skin. She usually liked gray hair, but on Earl…

  “Have a seat,” said Earl as he closed the door behind them. He gestured toward the visitor’s chair across from his, but Lilac purposely misconstrued his gesture and went to her own desk, booting up the computer and gathering what notes she had from the file in her desk. She wanted to get this over with quickly.

  “Gyu-ri was really enthusiastic,” said Lilac. She felt a flutter of actual excitement despite the warning bells going off in her head. The office was so empty. They’d passed Christian on the way—he’d been on the phone—and there was one secretary back near the door that separated the office from the showier camp-themed hallways of the resort—but it was so quiet here without most of the staff. “But she was realistic about the parts that had been less popular with the guests, and I thought if we operate on a smaller budget this time—”

  “Whoa, whoa, slow down,” said Earl, chuckling. Instead of sitting down at his desk, he strode over toward Lilac’s, hovering behind her. Lilac felt an iciness down her spine, and it wasn’t from the air vent above them. “I appreciate your enthusiasm—that’s one of the reasons why I hired you—but there’s a time and a place for work.”

  Lilac stared blankly up at him. Was this not exactly the time and place for work? True, he’d called her in when it wasn’t her shift, but… “You said you wanted to talk about what I did yesterday,” she said. “And that it wouldn’t take long.”

  Grinning, Earl put both his hands on her shoulders. He hunched over and his hands began to rub and squeeze her muscles. His breath reeked of alcohol and his hands were rough and as cold as ice on her mostly-bare skin. “Relax first,” he said. “All work and no play…” His right hand slipped under her tank top strap, under her bra, down to the skin of her breast.

  For a second, Lilac froze.

  Then she exploded.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she screamed, slapping his arm hard. When he didn’t let go, simply staring at her, shock clear as day on his face, she wheeled her chair back and slammed it into his abdomen.

  He grunted, his hands falling to his stomach as he backed away.

  Lilac snatched her purse where she’d left it on her desk. She could feel tears forming beneath the hot burn of the anger that burst through her brain, but she swallowed and gritted her teeth, determined not to let him find any tears on her face.

  “Where are you going?” Earl snapped, all playfulness out of his voice at once.

  She didn’t answer as she made her way to the door.

  Earl jumped in between her and the door, blocking her from the door knob.

  “Move,” said Lilac with a strength she didn’t really feel.

  “Okay, okay, message received,” he said, as if he were the reasonable one in the room. “I’ll leave you be, but I’ll remind you that I’m the boss here and we’ve let girls go for far less than this—”

  “Less than what?” demanded Lilac, crossing her arms. “All I did was tell you to fuck off.”

  “In not so many words,” said Earl, grimacing and cradling his stomach.

  Aw, poor baby. She wanted to gag.

  “Move,” said Lilac again.

  “If you want a job here, you’ll watch your tone with me,” said Earl, straightening. “Do you think you’re the first one who’s led me on like this?” Something flit across his face then, something more sinister.

  Lilac actually backed away a few steps, more from an instinct to put distance between them than a conscious thought.

  “Led you on?” Her molars ground together. “If you—If you think I care about this job now,” she said, but tears began falling then. She had cared about this job. It had been all she’d ever wanted. She’d thrown away everything she’d worked for for this job.

  “Oh, I think you care. Your aunt made it very clear to my wife how much you care.”

  Asshole. Someone needed to tell that wife to divorce his sorry ass. Someone needed to tell the police, HR, the—

  Lilac froze. Could she go through all that? For creepy innuendos and one touch too far? Could she talk to Frankie about it, her parents…? Could she admit to everyone what a colossal fuckup she’d made, letting him corner her alone despite the warning bells going off in her head?

  Would the police even believe her? She looked down at her outfit and all the skin showing, the way her too-big boobs popped tightly against the too-small tank top. She’d heard horror stories about “police help” before.

  And if she wasn’t the first… How the hell hadn’t this asshole been fired?

  What was her testimony going to do to change things?

  “Please let me go,” said Lilac, staring at the floor. Her voice was quieter now.

  He didn’t say anything for a minute and then she heard him turn the handle and open the door. “Okay,” he said, but he grabbed her arm as she passed. “This was just a miscommunication,” he said. “I thought this was something you wanted and now you made it clear you don’t. Okay? That’s all this was.”

  Lilac would have laughed if she didn’t feel like vomiting. How the hell could you have thought this was something I wanted? She shrugged her arm away and he let her go.

  “I’m married, okay?” he said. “You know that. I wasn’t asking for anything serious. This is nothing. Nothing serious.”

  She started walking away.

  “I’ll see you Monday,” he called. “Have a nice weekend!”

  As she passed Christian, still on his phone, Lilac felt the tears fall in earnest. She flung a hand to her mouth as a sob escaped her lips and she ran—actually ran—around the corner.

  Lilac told her aunt she’d gotten food poisoning at dinner, ignored Frankie’s joke about how Tildy Tapir’s promise to make dreams come true had never included vomiting—and spent much of the evening vomiting for a different reason entirely.

  She hadn’t been raped
. Not even close. Hell, Nana Abigail had told her about the men who’d slapped her ass at Papa’s company and she’d laughed it off like it that was simply how childish men were, like they were just little boys reaching into the cookie jar for one more cookie their moms said they couldn’t have. Nana had faced this type of behavior and then some. Sure, that had been ages ago, but…

  Who could she tell? Who would believe her?

  Gavin. She stared across the open bathroom door toward her purse, which she’d left on her bed. He’d want to fly here and kill Earl. He… He’d be a knight in shining armor, but he has his own problems and he could put both his job and mine in jeopardy. No, she didn’t feel like telling him.

  Her parents were in the Caribbean, but her daddy would want to kill the guy, too.

  Frankie would probably insist they call the police…

  No matter who she told, her job would be over. The whole reason she’d thrown everything away would be over. Her dreams would be over.

  He’d promised he’d leave her alone now…

  For an irrational moment, her eyes fell on the worn Tildy Tapir plush by the pillows on her bed. She’d been in the box with her things along with a note from Grandma Violet that she hoped “Tildy Tapir makes your dreams come true.”

  Lilac vomited again, all joy lost and all dreams broken.

  When Lilac got on Skype the next morning, she wanted to ask Gavin to tell her about his bad date, to offer support where she could. She wanted to keep him distracted—keep herself distracted—with whatever tale he had to tell about Brielle and Pembroke going at it—squabbling while she’d had that filth’s hand down her bra—but she’d started crying almost the second she, Gavin, and Brielle had all exchanged their hellos.

  “Whoa,” said Brielle. “What’s wrong, Li? Are you okay?”

  “I’m… I’m sick,” said Lilac, brushing tears from her eyes. “I… I got food poisoning last night.”

  “Aw,” said Gavin, and he seemed genuinely concerned.

  “That sucks,” said Brielle. She didn’t seem dismissive, but she seemed distracted. Her eyes kept gazing off to the side of her bed, where there was a stack of thin books.