by Mikki Sadil
No, I didn’t care to explain. I didn’t feel like telling her about Sunni, and I sure wasn’t going to tell her about my parents, so I mumbled, “Um, we had a, well, kind of an emergency. Look, just get Amberley and come on over this afternoon. I gotta go now.” I hung up before she could ask any more questions.
Chapter Seven
The Slap
That afternoon as I was checking the lines on the trampoline to make sure that nothing had come loose in the storm, I saw streaks of something sticky all over one side. I remembered that the twins had asked if they could use the trampoline. But if they used it and got it dirty, they should have known they had to clean it up.
I ran into the kitchen. “Mom, the twins have spilled something sticky all over my trampoline. Sarah! Suzanne! Get down here. You need to get the trampoline cleaned off right now.”
Mom came into the kitchen looking frazzled. Her hair was uncombed and her eyes had dark circles under them. Her voice was raspy with annoyance. “AJ, please stop yelling. The twins aren’t here, they’ve gone shopping with their friend Kate and her mother. What’s your problem, anyway?”
“My problem is that I need the tramp for us to work out on, and the twins used it and got a whole bunch of sticky stuff all over one side that the rain didn’t wash off. Why did you let them use it, anyway? Now it’s dirty and I have to clean up their mess. Well, they’re not going to use it again, that’s for sure.”
“They’ve just enrolled in gymnastics and they need it to practice on. Besides, you told them they could use it.”
“ME?” I shrieked. “I did not tell them any such thing. Those little liars. I…”
Before I could say another word, a hand reached out and smacked me across the face. I blinked in astonishment. Mom had never struck any of us kids, not even spanking us when we were little. Now, her face was red, her eyes were hard, and her mouth was drawn into a thin line.
“Don’t ever call anyone a liar again, Alyson Joanne, especially not your sisters. After your escapade yesterday, you need to think before you complain about anyone. The trampoline is for anyone in the family who wants to use it, so don’t tell me who can and who can’t. If it needs to be cleaned off, you do it.” Mom’s voice was harsh and angry.
For a moment, I just stood there with my mouth open. I could feel the blood rushing into my cheek. I couldn’t believe what she had just done. It was this stupid divorce. It was ruining our whole family.
I turned without saying a word and slammed the door on my way out. I started scrubbing the tramp down, flinging soapy suds all over the ground. Mom slapped me!
Andrew came out and put an arm around my shoulder. “Hey, I’m sorry, kid. I heard that fight between you and Mom. I think she feels bad about what happened, because she’s in there crying.”
I didn’t want sympathy. I twisted away from his arm. “Andrew, what’s going on? Mom has never hit any of us. And I never told the twins they could use the tramp, I told them to ask Mom. Well, maybe I did say I didn’t care if they did, but they had to get Mom’s permission first. And anyway, if they’re going to use it, they have to clean it up just like I do.”
“Look, everything’s in a mess right now. Mom’s a lot more upset about this divorce than she lets on. I don’t think she knows how to deal with everything right now, especially with us kids, because she never let on about how bad things were between her and Dad. Maybe you should go in and talk to her.”
Aaghh! “I don’t want to talk to Mom. She slapped me, and now I’m supposed to make peace with her? No way. She should apologize to me first.”
Andrew had that superior look he gets sometimes. “You know, you are not the only person in this family who’s affected by the divorce. Stop acting like some spoiled little princess and just grow up!”
My feelings were hurt again, but I was determined not to let him know. I ran water so hard over the trampoline that it splashed on him.
“Oh, for crap’s sake, AJ.” He stomped off to the barn.
I turned the hose off and absently dried the trampoline with some old towels. Maybe you should go talk to Mom, said that pesky little voice. No! Mom slapped me. She should apologize to me. I’m not going to be the one to say I’m sorry. Besides, I don’t have anything to be sorry for.
Oh, yeah?
I was still fuming when Amberley and Lisa showed up for practice, so there was no more time for self-analysis. I was grumpy, finding fault with everything they did, but I still didn’t tell them about Sunni or my parents. We had become friends, but it still wasn’t like they were the J’s…
After another jump that I didn’t land correctly, Lisa said, “You know, AJ, you are not perfect. Amberley and I have been practicing and we know what we are doing. You are the one who is off today, so quit picking on us and start getting better yourself.”
Before I could answer, Amberley added softly, “What’s wrong, AJ? You’re sure not the way you usually are. Is it something we can help with?”
My eyes burned and my chest was tight. I wanted to yell at them but it wasn’t their fault my arms and legs felt like putty. Besides, would they still like me if they knew how stupid I was with Sunni, and about my parents’ divorce?
“There’s nothing wrong. Look, let’s just forget it and practice tomorrow.”
As soon as they left, Mom came out of the kitchen, looking miserable. I ignored her and began brushing off the tramp.
She broke the silence. “AJ, I need to talk to you. But first, I’m really, really sorry I slapped you. It was horrible of me, and I am truly ashamed. Please forgive me.”
I refused to turn around, even though I knew I was being rude. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
I heard her take a big breath. “I’m not going to talk to you with your back turned. When you feel like being polite again, come inside. There’s something I need to tell you.”
Something else? Wasn’t the divorce enough?
I threw the brush on the ground. “Oh, all right. I’ll come in now.”
I knew right then something was wrong, because usually she would have said, “Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice, young lady,” but this time she let it pass.
We went into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Mom must really be upset because the kitchen was a mess. About the only time she baked anymore was when she was mad about something. She said it ‘soothed her nerves.’ Now the sink was full of dirty bowls, the mixer beaters were dripping batter all over everything, and the counters were covered with spilled flour and sugar. Colorful specks of different spices littered the floor, and the sweet aroma of baking cookies filled the air. Wow. She must really be upset.
Mom picked at the pattern on the lace tablecloth. “AJ, I know your father and I were wrong not to explain things to all of you before now, but the truth is…things have been going badly between us for a long time. We’ve more or less been separated since before we left Oak Glen.”
“Is that why Dad has hardly ever come home in the last year?”
“Well, that was the reason at first. Now…”
I interrupted her. “But even if you guys are mad at each other, why does he take it out on us? He hardly stays around long enough for us to even talk to him. We never know where he’s going to be or what he’s doing anymore.”
Mom sighed. “Your father has a lot on his mind. He feels guilty about a lot of things, as well he should.” For the first time, I heard the bitterness creep into Mom’s voice. “Well, whatever. He doesn’t want to spend time at home, so that’s just the way it is. I don’t know why he doesn’t tell you kids where he’s going when he leaves…but…you have to know that he does love all of you very much.”
“Huh. He doesn’t act like it. Is that what you wanted to tell me, that you’ve been separated for a long time?”
“No,” Mom said quietly. “Honey, when we came here, I felt that a divorce was inevitable. I went back to work, thinking it would help my frame of mind. Well, it didn’t. About the only thing wor
king did was to make me lose touch with you and your brother and sisters. I’m so sorry about that, but it’s not going to happen again. Right now, there’s something else you should know. I’ve already told Andrew, and…”
She hesitated, and I saw tears in her eyes. I wanted to stay mad, but I’d never seen my mother like this before and it scared me. I reached across the table and took her hand. “Mom, it’s okay. Just tell me. It’ll be all right, honest.”
Mom sniffed, rubbed her eyes with her hand, and smiled at me. “Sorry…I’m supposed to be reassuring you, not the other way around.” She reached into a pocket and pulled out a tissue. When she had wiped her eyes, she spoke again, only this time her voice was hard and angry.
“Your father is going to get married again as soon as our divorce is final. He met someone about two years ago and fell in love with her. So come about June of next year, you will have a stepmother.”
I sat there in shock, my mind reeling. Yesterday I only had a divorce to deal with, today I have a stepmother coming into the picture? It was too much and at that moment, all I could do was stare at my mother. Silence and the smell of burning cookies invaded my space.
Finally, I whispered, “Dad’s going to get married again? Right away? I don’t believe it.”
Mom squeezed my hand and got up. She walked quickly over to the oven and took out the cookies. Sure enough, they were burned. She muttered something I couldn’t hear but I was sure it wasn’t very nice and tossed the cookies, pan and all, into the trash.
“Honey, I know you think this is all coming out of left field, but it’s not. Your dad told me some time ago that he’d met someone. From that point on, a divorce was inevitable. Not preparing you kids for this moment was wrong, and I’m very sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
I thought about this for a minute, and the more I thought, the madder I got.
“You said Dad was going back to San Francisco to live. Why does he get to live there and we have to stay here? If you guys knew you were going to get a divorce, why did we have to move here, anyway? Why couldn’t we have just stayed in Oak Glen?”
Mom sighed loudly. “He’s going back to San Francisco to become a senior partner in his old firm. And also, his…lady friend lives there. We moved here originally because his firm decided to open an office here. The deal fell through before the building was even built, but by that time, we were already here. We have a life here now, you’re all established in school and with your friends. I have a good job at the art gallery, and to move again is not something I could handle right now.”
“So is there more to this story?”
“No. I just wanted to tell you the entire story before you see your dad. You know you all can visit him whenever you want. He loves all of you, and he wants to stay in your lives. Divorce doesn’t change that.”
“Yeah, right. It’s certainly changed Dad. Uh, are we still going to see him in San Francisco?”
Mom hesitated. “Andrew and the twins don’t want to. This time it will just be you.”
I let go of Mom’s hand and pushed my chair back. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw things. I couldn’t do any of that in front of my mother.
“Mom, I need to be by myself for a while.”
I bolted up the stairs and into my room. I threw myself face down on the bed and waited for the tears to come. They didn’t.
I sat up and thought about what Mom had just told me. A stepmother is coming into my life. Just what I need on top of all the other crap that’s going on. How could Dad do this to Mom, to us? Andrew said I needed to grow up, but right now, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. If this was what being an adult was all about, I wanted no part of it. One thing was for sure, I wasn’t going to their wedding, no matter how mature I was by then.
* * * *
I walked to school by myself on Monday. The last few days, the J’s and Celine hadn’t even bothered to come by for me. That was okay, I didn’t need them in my life. Even as I thought that, I knew it was a lie. My whole world was changing, and I felt lost and unimportant. I missed being able to talk to the J’s like I used to. I missed the prestige that being Jaime and Julie’s best friend gave me. Now I was nothing. On top of being nothing, I was friends with two of the most disliked girls in school. It plainly was SO not fair.
As soon as I hit the school grounds, I started getting remarks about Sunni.
“Hey, AJ, I heard you rode your mare into the ground on Saturday.”
“Is your mare still sick, AJ? Didn’t you know that running her for miles would bring on colic?”
“AJ, I guess you don’t know as much as you think you do about horses, do you?”
Holly Madison, Emily Johnson, Olivia Montgomery. I thought they were my friends, but I guess they only liked me while I was Julie and Jaime’s friend. Obviously, they knew that Celine had taken my place.
I ignored them and walked past as quickly as I could, keeping my eyes on the ground. I didn’t know how they knew about Sunni, but at least they hadn’t said anything about my parents’ divorce. I guess the word wasn’t out about that yet, but in this small town, divorce was a good subject for gossip. I knew it would be all over both the school and town before too long.
As I started up the steps to the school I glanced over my shoulder and saw Celine talking to the three girls with a big smile on her face. I hadn’t seen Celine or the J’s all weekend, but somehow they had found out about Sunni, and now everyone in school would know.
At noon, all the girls who were trying out for cheerleading crowded around the bulletin board to see if they had made the squad. There was a lot of squealing and giggling from the girls who made it and disappointment on the faces of those who didn’t.
As I walked up to the board, I heard Celine say, “Well, girls, I guess we know who’s the best around here.”
I looked at the board and saw that the first place team was Celine, Jaime, and Julie. They had 98% out of 100%, and worst of all, Celine had been made the Senior Captain. I thought surely Lisa, Amberley,, and I would be next in line. We weren’t. Celine crowded up close to me.
“Hey, AJ, if you’re looking for your team, you’d better start looking at the bottom.”
There was a burst of laughter,, and I turned around to see the J’s laughing as if Celine had said something terribly funny. That malicious glint was in Celine’s eyes again as she smirked at me and walked off with Julie and Jaime. The bottom couldn’t be right. I went down the list, and finally found our names. We were at the bottom. We had been rated at 81%, and since 80% was the cut off for passing, we were the last team to make the squad.
I couldn’t believe it. I slammed my fist against the board and stormed off to find Lisa and Amberley. They were sitting under a big cottonwood tree eating lunch. My hands were clenching and unclenching, almost of their own accord. I felt blood rush to my face and I was so hot I was almost panting.
“Well, I hope you two are proud of yourselves. You’re so bad at cheering that you’ve pulled me down with you. I’ve never had a score of less than 96% and we are on the bottom at 81%. We barely made the squad, and it’s all your fault. You’re not partners, you’re screw-ups.”
I ignored the tears in Amberley’s eyes and the embarrassed look on Lisa’s face. I was practically the best gymnast in the whole school, and these two klutzes had made me look like an idiot. It was more than being angry. Cheerleading was the only thing in my life, besides riding, that I had ever been proud of myself for, and now that was gone.
Neither of them spoke. Suddenly, I went from being hot to being cold all over. When I spoke to them, I hoped my voice was as icy as I felt. “Well, since you have nothing to say I guess you agree with me. If you want me to be your partner, you’d both better get a whole lot better.” I stalked off, feeling my legs quiver and trying to get my breathing under control.
I tried my best to ignore the whispers and funny looks the rest of the girls gave me throughout the afternoon. I knew they were all wond
ering how I had gotten so bad so fast, but I guess I couldn’t walk around with a sign on my back saying “It’s all Lisa’s and Amberley’s fault.” At the same time, I felt a twinge in my stomach as I remembered the look on Amberley’s face. We were getting to be good friends, and now I had been mean to her. Aaghh! I didn’t know how my life had become so complicated.
I had just gotten home when the phone rang. It was Julie. “Hey, we need to talk about Heather’s party. Are you going with us or not?”
I was so surprised I could hardly answer. “Heather’s having a party? I haven’t been invited. This is the first I’ve even heard of it. Besides, after the way you and Jaime have been treating me, why would you want me to go to a party with you?”
“AJ, don’t be like that. Of course we want you to come. And Heather said to ask you, anyway. She didn’t really send out invitations, she’s just asking people. It’s a masquerade party, so why don’t you come over and we can talk about costumes?”
I expected to see Celine at Julie’s house when I got there, but she wasn’t. We went up to Julie’s bedroom and threw ourselves on her big bed. It was just like old times. We talked about a lot of things, including a couple of girls we knew who had started going out on dates with boys. Boys? I was so not interested in boys, but Julie and Jaime thought it was cool that someone our age was dating. We talked a little about cheering, but I avoided mentioning Lisa and Amberley…or Celine. Before long, Julie’s mom brought up some freshly made popcorn with melted butter.
I licked the dripping butter from my fingers. “Gee, this is really good. Well, what about costumes, what are we going to go as?”
Jaime spoke around a mouthful of popcorn. “We cud wo as fo’ musgaters.”
“Four musketeers? But there’s only three of us, Jaime. And don’t talk with your mouth full, we can’t understand you.”
She swallowed quickly and sat up. “No, there’s four of us. You forgot about Celine.”
