Game Theory

by Barry Jonsberg

  Phoebe says nothing for a few seconds. Then she stops and faces me.

  ‘He was going to kill us, Jamie,’ she says.

  ‘How do you know that?’ I reply. ‘He said he was going to leave us while he got away. If he intended to kill us, why wait? He had you for days and he could have killed me easily back at the place where we met. He had the money, after all. No. I believed him.’

  Phoebe looks at me for a moment and then starts walking again. I skip to catch up with her.

  ‘Hold my hand,’ I say.

  ‘Not now,’ she says.

  I wonder if either of us will recover from this. We walk in silence for a couple more minutes. When Phoebe speaks again, she does so without looking at me, almost as if she’s talking to herself.

  ‘I spent days with him,’ she says. ‘And he was crazy. I know he was. You can’t spend that amount of time with someone and not find that out. He wanted to be liked. No. He wanted to be loved, and admired. That’s why he kept us alive, so we could be his audience, so he could keep playing games with you. But he was going to kill us. It was all a fairy story, Jamie. Leaving the country so we could go on with our lives and he would be safe overseas? Why leave if no one could identify him? And if he got rid of us, then he’d have nothing to worry about.’

  I don’t say anything. I wonder what happened to my sister. She is someone else now. She has grown up and it is reflected in the way she speaks. She is seven, going on thirty. I find this sad. I think also about what she has just said. It makes sense, but it’s still only guesswork. How can a seven year old be so cynical?

  ‘He bought two cans of petrol,’ she says. ‘Brought them into the house and put them in the front room. I saw them. I don’t think he was planning on driving somewhere where there are no petrol stations. So what was he going to use them for?’

  She isn’t expecting an answer and I don’t give one. I think about a house way out in the middle of nowhere. I think of petrol splashed around the place, a glowing cigarette end thrown onto the porch and the whoosh of flame, the house erupting. I think of the time it will take for anyone to even notice the fire, let alone get a fire engine out there. And when it does there would be nothing left except a pile of smouldering ash and, maybe, somewhere deep down in the cellar, a jumble of charred bones. It’s warm with the sun on my back, but I shiver. I reach out my hand and this time Phoebe takes it.

  ‘How did you survive, Phoebe?’ I ask.

  ‘Game theory,’ she says. ‘Think about what the other person wants and then use that to your advantage. Dixon wanted me to love him, so I did. Dixon wanted me to be a cute little girl, so I was. Did you really think I would have chosen that dress, Jamie? He gave me choices, so I picked the one he wanted me to pick. And I was sweet and loving and I asked for fairy stories and he believed me. He trusted me. I think that was the only mistake he made.’

  I keep walking and thinking. All this time I believed I was on a mission to save my little sister’s life and all the time she was saving mine. And I think about loss of innocence and I wonder if I will ever get the old Phoebe back. But these are things to consider at another time.

  For the moment I am happy to walk towards home, with the sunshine on my back and the weight of my sister’s hand in mine.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Barry Jonsberg’s YA novels, The Whole Business with Kiffo and the Pitbull and It’s Not All About YOU, Calma! were shortlisted for the CBCA awards. It’s Not All About YOU, Calma! also won the Adelaide Festival Award for Children’s Literature and Dreamrider was shortlisted in the NSW Premier’s Awards. Being Here won the Queensland Premier’s YA Book Award and was shortlisted for the Prime Minister’s Award. My Life as an Alphabet won the Gold Inky, the Children’s Peace Literature Award, the Territory Read, Children’s Literature/YA Award and the Victorian Premier’s Literary Award, and was shortlisted in the Prime Minister’s Literary Awards, the CBCA awards, the West Australian Premier’s Book Awards and the Adelaide Festival Awards.

  Barry lives in Darwin. His books have been published in the USA, the UK, France, Poland, Germany, Hungary, Brazil, Turkey, China and Korea.