Keeping Her

by Allie Everhart

  Rachel's quiet, then says what I was hoping she'd say. "If it's that big a deal to her, maybe we should just let her plan it. But your mother would at least involve me in the plans, right?"

  "You'll get regular updates from the wedding coordinators, but my mother would handle the day-to-day details. So would you be okay with that?"

  "It's probably for the best. I was thinking about it, and I really don't have time to plan a wedding. It's just a few months away and I need to spend those months finding a job. Besides, we're already married. It's not a real wedding."

  "It's still your wedding, so if this doesn't work for you, just tell me. But keep in mind that even if my mother isn't involved, most of the planning will still need to be done by the wedding coordinators. As I said before, this will be a large, highly publicized event and there's a lot to be done and very little time to do it."

  "I know. So we might as well let your mother handle it. If we weren't already married, I'd feel differently, but now it just seems like a formality and I'm sure your mother will do a good job." Rachel sighs. "But my mom will be disappointed."

  "Have her plan the bridal shower. I'll cover all the expenses. She just needs to plan it."

  "Okay. I'll talk to her about it."

  I bring her into my arms. "You're being very understanding about this."

  "I want you to still have your family. So if this will help, then we'll do it."

  I kiss the side of her head. "I love you."

  "I love you too." She sits up. "Oh, I talked to Shelby and she was wondering if we could come over tonight to her parents' house so her dad could thank you for helping him. That doctor-friend of yours will be there too."

  "What time do we need to be there?"

  "She said anytime after five."

  "So we have the whole day free?"

  "Yeah." She bites her lower lip as she unbuttons my shirt. "What would you like to do?"

  "I can think of a few things."

  And that's how we spend the rest of the morning.

  It's strange being home on a weekday, but I guess I should get used to it now that I'm unemployed.

  In the evening we go to Shelby's parents' house, which is in New Haven. It's a small house in an older neighborhood. Shelby's car is in the driveway and behind it is a black Lexus, which I'm guessing is Logan's car.

  Rachel goes up to the house and I follow behind.

  Shelby greets us at the door. "Thanks for coming. My dad was sleeping but he just woke up. Logan's checking on him. But you can meet my mom. She's in the living room. Follow me."

  We walk down a short hallway that leads to the living room. The furnishings are dated, but the house is neat and clean and there are family photos all over the walls. It seems like a nice, normal place to grow up so I don't know how Shelby ended up being an associate. I know her parents need money, but there are other ways to get money. And how does she explain to her parents where the money comes from? She can't tell them she's an associate.

  "Mom, this is my friend, Rachel, and her fiancé, Pearce."

  A middle-aged woman with dark blond hair comes up to us. "Welcome. I'm Linda." She shakes our hands.

  Rachel smiles at her. "It's nice to meet you."

  "Shelby talks about you all the time. You've been a good friend to her." Linda turns to me. "And Pearce, I can't thank you enough for introducing us to Logan."

  I nod. "I'm glad he could help."

  "We should go see Dad," Shelby says to her mom. "I don't want to keep these guys too long."

  "Shelby, don't worry about it," Rachel says. "We're in no hurry."

  "He's in his room." Linda motions us to follow her.

  We go down the hall, passing a tiny room with a twin bed and posters on the wall. That must've been Shelby's room. The house only has two bedrooms. Linda takes us to the master at the end of the hall.

  She walks over to the bed where Shelby's father is lying, covered with blankets.

  "Bob, you have company." She waves us over. "This is Shelby's friend, Rachel. And that's Pearce, the man who got us the doctor."

  He mumbles something, but I couldn't make out his words. It's difficult to hear him because he's breathing hard and hooked up to oxygen.

  I've never seen someone this ill. He's wasting away, his face gaunt, his body nothing but sharp bony edges sticking through his clothes. He has dark circles under his eyes and his hair hasn't grown back from the chemo.

  I'm not good in these types of situations. I just got here and I'm already very uncomfortable, not sure what to do or say.

  His eyes fall shut, then slowly open again.

  Rachel goes up to his bed and sits next to him. "Hello, Mr. Parks." She smiles at him and gently lifts his hand and holds it in hers, softly rubbing it with her other hand. He doesn't seem fully awake, but her touch seems to get his attention and he turns his head to her.

  "I'm good friends with your daughter," Rachel says. "We've been neighbors these past few months so we've spent a lot of time together." She laughs a little. "And eaten way too much macaroni and cheese."

  "And ice cream," Shelby adds, sitting across from her on the bed.

  "She's my…" Bob tries to say the words to Rachel, but has to stop to breathe. "She's my…baby girl."

  "Dad." Shelby immediately tears up, biting her lip to keep from crying.

  Rachel keeps her eyes on Bob, still holding his hand, a soft smile on her face. "I'm sure you're very proud of her."

  He nods weakly, his eyes fighting to stay open.

  Shelby gets up and quickly leaves the room, tears running down her face.

  "I'm going to go check on her," Linda says to me.

  Bob slowly turns his head and notices me standing at the end of the bed. He raises the hand that's not linked with Rachel's and motions me closer.

  I still have no idea what to say to him. And I'm having a hard time looking at him. I know that sounds harsh, but it's difficult to see someone this close to death. Now I feel even worse for Shelby. It's bad enough to see a stranger in his condition, but this is Shelby's father. A man she loves, who clearly thinks the world of her. It must be killing her to do what she does, selling her body, knowing how much it would hurt her father if he knew. It would hurt him even more if he knew she was only doing it for him.

  I go around the bed and sit across from Rachel. "Hello, Mr. Parks."

  "Thank you," he says in a hoarse whisper. He puts his hand on top of mine. His skin is icy cold, his fingers bony. I glance at Rachel and she gives me a look to just act normal. She can tell I'm uncomfortable.

  I follow her lead and place my hand over his. "You're very welcome. I'm happy Dr. Cunningham was able to help."

  If I'd known Shelby's father was in such bad shape, I would've tried to help him sooner. This poor man is already suffering, but a few weeks ago he was also in excruciating pain. It sounds like Logan has found a way to at least relieve some of that pain, making this man's last days somewhat more tolerable.

  "It might snow tomorrow," Rachel says, turning Bob's attention back to her. I'm thankful she did, because I couldn't think of anything else to say to him. "I'm from Indiana and my mom said it snowed six inches yesterday."

  Bob watches her, gazing at her face and looking peaceful and content as she continues to rub his hand and talk to him. Once again, I am completely amazed by Rachel. The way she can comfort this man, a man she just met, is amazing to me. It's like she knows just what to do. She's so gentle and caring and she has this positive energy that I know he can feel. Because I feel it too. When we first walked in you could feel the sadness in the room, but it feels a little lighter now as Rachel talks to Bob like he's just a regular man. Not a sick man or a dying man, but just a man.

  Rachel tells Bob about our night at the country bar and how I refused to line dance. She's laughing and smiling. He can't take his eyes off her. For just this brief moment, he isn't thinking about his illness or his death. He has a weak smile on his face, like he's happy that someone is finall
y treating him like he's not sick. And that someone is Rachel. My sweet, beautiful, kind wife, who I just fell in love with all over again.

  "Mr. Parks." I turn and see Logan behind me. "It's time for your medication."

  Logan looks the same as he did in college, just slightly older. He's about six feet tall, average build, with light brown hair.

  I stand up and face him. "Logan, it's good to see you again."

  "Can you stay a few minutes?" he asks. "I need to give Mr. Parks his meds, then maybe we could talk before you leave."

  "Of course. I'll wait out in the living room." I look over at Rachel.

  She sets Bob's hand back down on the bed. "It was nice meeting you, Mr. Parks. Maybe I'll stop by again."

  "Please do." He looks like he doesn't want her to leave, but then his focus returns to Logan as he picks up his wrist and checks his pulse.

  Rachel and I go out in the living room. Linda and Shelby are on the couch but stand up as we walk in. Shelby's eyes are still red and teary.

  "Shelby." Rachel goes up and hugs her. "I know this is hard. What can I do?"

  "Just being here is enough," she says. "He really likes you. I could tell."

  Rachel steps back, but holds Shelby's hand. "If you want, I'll come over again and just talk to him."

  She nods, a tear going down her cheek. "I think he'd like that."

  "He doesn't get many visitors," Linda says. "Thank you again for coming, and Pearce, thank you so much for helping us like this. "

  I nod. "You're very welcome."

  "Are you guys leaving now?" Shelby asks Rachel.

  "Not yet. Logan wanted to talk to Pearce for a few minutes."

  "Logan and I are going to get something to eat. Do you want to come along?"

  Rachel looks at me to answer.

  "Sure. We could do that."

  I'm surprised Logan is spending all this time with Shelby. Usually physicians don't socialize with a patient's family, but maybe he's just trying to help her get through this.

  Logan appears and goes up to Linda. "He's resting now. He'll be asleep for a few hours. Give him another dose around midnight. And as usual, just call if you have any questions."

  "I will. Thank you." Linda goes over to Shelby. "I'll see you later, honey. I'm going to go sit with your dad."

  "Okay, bye, Mom." As she walks away, Shelby says to Logan, "Pearce and Rachel are going to dinner with us."

  He smiles at us. "Good. It'll give us a chance to catch up."

  "We haven't met. I'm Rachel." She extends her hand to him and they shake.

  "I'm sorry," I say. "I should've introduced you. Rachel is my fiancé."

  "Nice to meet you," Logan says to her. "I need to compliment you. You were very good with Mr. Parks just now. Talking to him like that helped him relax and eased his breathing. You must've done this before."

  Rachel nods. "My sister died of cancer. My grandmother did as well, and she always liked it when I would sit and talk to her in the hospital."

  Shelby puts her arm around Logan's. "Should we go? We could take them to that Italian place down the street."

  "That sounds good," Rachel says. "We'll follow you."

  We all go outside and Shelby gets in Logan's car as Rachel and I get into ours.

  "Is Shelby dating Logan?" I ask Rachel as we're driving to the restaurant.

  "She didn't say she was, but it sure seemed like it."

  "Yes, I thought so too."

  This is not good. It would be fine if Shelby were just a normal girl, but she's not a normal girl. She doesn't have a normal life. She's tied to the organization, which means she could never have a real relationship. No man is going to put up with her taking off late at night without explaining where she's going. And if she told him the truth, it would end the relationship.

  Like me, Shelby doesn't want the organization controlling her life. She wants to be happy. She wants to find someone who loves her. Someone to have a life with. But unfortunately, that's not possible.

  CHAPTER TEN

  10

  RACHEL

  We just had dinner with Logan and Shelby, and after watching them interact, I've now confirmed that those two are definitely dating. How could she not tell me this? I've been bugging her to go out on a date for months, only to find out she's been dating someone in secret. And not just anyone. She's dating a doctor. A smart, successful doctor who graduated from Harvard.

  Logan is cute, but not my type. I like a large, muscular guy, which is why I'm so attracted to Pearce. Logan's average height and doesn't seem to be very muscular. But he has a cute face, with blue eyes and a dimple in his left cheek. He's very serious, like Pearce, but Shelby was able to loosen him up a little at dinner, just like I'm able to loosen up Pearce. So maybe that's a sign that Shelby and Logan will end up working out.

  While we're waiting for the check, Shelby and I make a trip to the restroom. We go there for girl talk, not for using the facilities.

  "Why didn't you tell me?" I ask her as we stand in front of the mirrors.

  She gets her lipstick out. "There's nothing to tell. We're just friends."

  I point to the door. "What I just saw out there was not just a friendship. You two couldn't stop flirting with each other. And don't think I didn't notice the handholding under the table."

  "Handholding." She laughs. "Yeah, that's what it was. You caught us."

  "I'm not even going to ask what you mean by that," I say, also laughing. "So how long has this been going on?"

  "Almost a month."

  "A month? Shelby, that's a long time."

  "I only see him when he's in town, so it's not that big a deal."

  "Have you gone up to Boston to see him?"

  "Not yet. But he's down here two or three times a week to check on my dad." She puts her lipstick on, then smacks her lips together.

  "I think he comes down here to see you as well," I say, smiling.

  "Rachel, you're reading too much into it. We're just dating. It's only temporary. A rich, successful doctor is not going to stick around with someone like me."

  "Why wouldn't he? He obviously likes you or he wouldn't be dating you."

  She drops her lipstick in her purse and zips it up. "Come on. Let's go."

  "So is Logan heading back to Boston now?" I ask as we leave the restroom.

  "No. He's going back in the morning."

  I grab her sleeve, stopping her. "He's staying overnight with you?"

  She laughs. "We're adults. We can have sex."

  "I just mean that it sounds like you guys are serious."

  She keeps walking. "We're not. We're just dating."

  Despite what she says, I get the feeling she wants more than that. I think Logan wants more than that too. I could tell by the way he kept looking at Shelby during dinner, and the way he always made sure they were touching as they sat next to each other in the booth. Their hands, their shoulders, their arms. Their bodies were always connected, like they didn't want to be apart.

  "Did she confirm that she's dating him?" Pearce asks as we're driving home. He knows Shelby and I had girl talk in the bathroom.

  "Yes, and I think she really likes him. And he definitely likes her. I'm happy for her. I hope it works out." Pearce doesn't respond, his eyes on the road. "So what did you and Logan talk about while Shelby and I were in the bathroom?"

  "We talked about his work."

  "What exactly does he do? I know he works at a clinic, but what kind of clinic? He didn't really explain it at dinner."

  "It's a private medical clinic that focuses on a more individualized approach to healthcare versus the traditional one-size-fits-all model of treatment. Their services aren't covered by insurance. If you go there, you just have to pay out of pocket. It's very expensive so most people can't afford it."

  "Which is why you're covering the expenses for Shelby's dad." I rub his hand, which is wrapped around mine and resting in my lap. "That's really nice of you to do that for Shelby and her family."


  "Unfortunately, it's not saving her father."

  "I know, but he's in a lot less pain."

  "Logan told me he's not going to hold out much longer. He may not even make it to Christmas."

  "Oh, that's so sad. Shelby will be devastated."

  It was hard seeing Shelby's father. I know how difficult it is to watch someone you love go through that. I wish Shelby would open up to me and let me help her, but she doesn't like to talk about it. I call her every day, but she never wants to talk about her dad. Maybe she talks about him with Logan. Maybe he can help her get through this. I hope those two keep dating. I think they'd be good together. I'm not even sure why. It's just a feeling I have. Then again, I'm kind of a hopeless romantic. I like seeing people fall in love and live happily ever after. Like Pearce and me.

  The next day, I go to class even though I don't need to. I wanted to say goodbye to my professor and a few of my classmates. After class, I go to an appointment I scheduled with my advisor to talk about job opportunities in the area. The past few months, he's been giving me postings for jobs in New York, but now that I'm staying in Connecticut I need recommendations for where to start looking for jobs here in the area.

  When I get to his office, he invites me in and I take the chair across from him at his desk. He's a middle-aged guy, thin, with gray and black hair. I've never liked him. He's not very friendly and he always talks to me in this condescending tone and has made a few sexist comments in the past.

  I didn't want to meet with him but he runs the job placement program for my major so I didn't really have a choice. Right now, he's my only link to a job.

  "I should start by saying congratulations," he says, reaching across the table to shake my hand.