All That's Left

by Ward Anderson

  Nez looks shocked, and his eyes go wide. With his hand cocked back, ready to give Steven one last blow to the jaw, something comes down hard upon the top of his head. It hits Nez so hard, he almost falls to the ground. He spins around to see Dania hitting him over the head with the handle of her umbrella. When Nez turns to look at her, she takes the opportunity and swings the umbrella like a baseball bat, making direct contact with his face. He stumbles back a few feet from the blow.

  Steven almost smiles, but feels his broken lip bleeding into his mouth. The bodyguard loosens his grip a little bit, but not enough for Steven to escape. They’re both caught up in watching Dania deliver a nice ass-kicking to Nez.

  Dania yells something in Mandarin to Nez, who yells something in Mandarin right back at her. The two of them point and yell at each other for a few seconds before Nez pulls back and full-on punches Dania in the face. Her head snaps back from the blow, and her beautiful hair whips around, now soaking wet and sticking to her face. She opens her mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. She looks at Nez, who pulls back to hit her again.

  “You sonofabitch,” Steven slurs through his swollen jaw. He feels the bodyguard loosen his grip even more and then finally drop him to the sidewalk. Steven feels his legs give out underneath him as the cold, wet concrete meets his body. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Dania wheel around and push Nez back at least three feet.

  Steven tries to get to his feet, but is pushed back down by the bodyguard, who is watching Dania and Nez hit each other and doesn’t know what to do. The bodyguard doesn’t move, but holds Steven back. Steven reaches up with his hands, trying to make contact, but the bodyguard holds him off and keeps him at arms’ length.

  “You do what I say!” Nez screams at Dania in English for the first time. Dania is massaging her face where she was hit while obviously trying to catch her breath at the same time. Steven thinks that, for the first time, she really looks angry. More than he’s seen her look before, even moments ago when he thought she couldn’t look meaner. He feels his head spinning and thinks he’s going to pass out. He tries to stand up, but can’t make it.

  Then, Nez rushes toward Dania. He laughs at her when she steps back from him, obviously afraid of getting hit again. He dances around her and laughs and points. On cue, the bodyguard starts laughing, too. Steven feels his head getting heavier.

  “You not so tough,” Nez says to Dania. “You make a good little girl.”

  Nez laughs and moves to kick Dania. He brings his expensive right loafer into the air and aims for her midsection. Dania moves back a couple of feet, and Nez lifts his foot higher. So high, in fact, that he topples backward. The pavement is slick from the rain, causing him to fall right on his ass. Dania uses the opportunity to try and get away. Seeing this, Nez’s bodyguard jumps into action.

  It’s just the distraction Steven needs.

  Feeling as if he may pass out at any moment, Steven uses every ounce of strength he has to get to his feet. As he does, the adrenaline kicks in, and his head suddenly clears enough for him to see Dania is backing away from the bodyguard, swinging her umbrella each time he tries to lunge at her. He pulls a fist back, about to clock her any second. But it’s not the bodyguard who is in charge, and Steven knows it.

  Before Nez can get all the way up off the pavement, Steven’s hands are wrapped around his neck and squeezing the life out of him. The look in Nez’s eyes shows that he didn’t see this coming at all and that he knows Steven isn’t going to let go this time. He claws at Steven’s arms, his own hands flailing desperately, trying to break free.

  “Steven!” Dania screams again, and Steven wheels around before Nez’s bodyguard can make contact. As hard as he can, Steven throws Nez away from him and right into his own henchman. The bodyguard tries to help Nez regain his composure but—gasping for air—Nez pushes him off. He lunges at Steven, who cocks his fist back and lets it connect in the middle of Nez’s forehead.

  Nez falls backward, his feet slick from the rain that has soaked the sidewalk. Steven watches him, almost in slow motion, as he hangs in the air for a second, one foot higher than the other. He almost looks like one of the tourists on the bungee jump. When Nez hits the ground, his head is the first part of his body that makes contact.

  The sound is sickening. Nez’s body lands after his head and falls limply against the cold, wet concrete with an awful and heavy-sounding thud. His body twitches for only a second and then just lies there. The bodyguard stands silent and stares at his boss lying on the ground.

  Steven shakes his head and feels his knees starting to tremble. Out the corner of his eye, he sees Dania standing motionless, her mouth wide open. He hears the bodyguard speaking, but doesn’t know what language he’s using. Steven shakes his head again and tries to put his weight on the noodles he calls legs.

  Even in this state, he can tell that Nez is already dead.

  The bodyguard bends down and touches Nez’s body. There is blood on the sidewalk, swirling around in the rain that is already getting heavier. The bodyguard touches Nez on the face and tries to get him to wake up. Then he shakes Nez by the lapels of his expensive suit. Looking back at Steven, the bodyguard turns completely white, and his mouth drops open. He looks back at Dania, back at Nez, and then stands straight up. Looking around to see if anyone is watching, he slowly walks away. After the bodyguard is halfway down the Riverwalk, he starts running.

  Steven collapses and feels the same wet pavement that just ended Nez. Blood fills his mouth, and he tries to spit it out as his face connects with the ground. The front of his pants feels cold as the wet sidewalk soaks into them. The last thing he hears before everything goes black is the sound of Dania’s voice.

  “Steven,” she cries. “Steven, do you hear me? Steven?”

  He looks up and she is standing over him, a look of complete shock on her face. That’s the last thing he sees as everything goes quiet and dark.

  19

  Steven feels like he is floating. Falling. There’s a soft feeling that embraces him and makes him feel warm. A tingling runs up the length of his right arm and, even though there is a slight pain, he barely notices it. He mostly feels numb. He simply continues floating and falling.

  There is darkness and talking, a voice in the distance. It’s too muffled to understand. Then it’s louder and clearer. A second later a very bright light appears out of nowhere, shining right into his eyes. It hurts. He squints and feels his eyes rolling back. There is a deep pain in his eye sockets—pain from the light and all around his eye. The light stings when he looks toward it, but his eye hurts more when he tries to look away.

  And then there’s the voice again. It’s speaking to him now. Clearly now, it says, “There we are. Looks like you’re in there after all.”

  The light goes away. Then it returns. There is a clicking sound, and then the light and the pain, followed by the voice.

  “Here we go,” the voice says. “Don’t worry, it’s a bright light. But it’s not the bright light. You don’t have to be afraid of walking toward it.”

  The voice laughs, and the light goes away. The pain is okay, and suddenly the light is dimmer. Everything is clearer. His eyes are opening now. Everything is coming into focus. His eyes hurt, but he is no longer squinting.

  Steven sees a tall, Singaporean man in a white doctor’s coat looking at him. Putting away the penlight he was just shining into Steven’s eyes, the man smiles warmly. He’s balding, probably in his late fifties, and he is holding a medical chart in one hand. He clasps his hands together, holding the chart in front of him. He smiles again as he cocks his head slightly to the side.

  “There you are,” the doctor says. “You’re back with us now.”

  “I—” Steven feels a pounding in his head, but most of his body just feels warm and numb.

  “Don’t try to sit up.” The doctor holds out a cautious hand. “Just stay right where you are, okay?”

  Steven would nod if he could move his head. Instead, he hope
s his painful eyes convey that he understands. The doctor is standing over him in a very small, but very clean hospital room. The warm numbness that covers Steven’s body no doubt comes from the IV that Steven sees attached to his right arm. Still, even with whatever is in that IV, Steven knows that parts of him are aching very badly right about now, even if he can’t quite feel those parts.

  “Where—”

  “You’re in the hospital, son,” the doctor says. His English is perfect. He sounds vaguely British, like Dania. “You’ve taken quite the beating. But here you are, still with us.”

  “Singapore,” Steven says.

  “Yes,” the doctor says. “Good. You know where you are. Now can you tell me who you are?”

  “S—Steven. Kelly. Steven Kelly.”

  “Very good,” the doctor says, and pulls out the penlight again. He looks at Steven’s eyes again and then returns the pen to his jacket pocket. “You have a slight concussion, so you will have a sore head for a while, I’m afraid. But at least all the wheels are turning, it seems.”

  “What happened?”

  “You tell me. You’ve been beaten quite badly, son.”

  “How badly?”

  “Three cracked ribs. Your eye socket was nearly broken. Many, many bruises. Two bones in your right hand were broken. So was a finger on your left. Your left wrist is cracked. And your nose. We had to reset it. Probably good you don’t remember that part.”

  “Jesus.”

  “Yes, but you’re okay now. Nothing permanent. Nothing that won’t heal. Lucky. Very lucky.”

  “Shit.” Steven wants to shake his head but can’t. “Lucky.”

  “You don’t think so now, but yes. Your lady friend brought you in. And that’s good. Because you would have been much worse off if she hadn’t.”

  “Lady friend?”

  Dania.

  “Don’t worry,” the doctor says. “She’s fine. She’s waiting outside to see you.”

  “How long?”

  “How long have you been here or how long has she been waiting?”

  “Both.”

  “Many hours.”

  “Christ,” Steven says. “My face hurts.”

  “I would imagine so. Your face is what took most of the beating.”

  Steven doesn’t want to know what he looks like right about now. He looks down at his body and tries to count the fingers and toes. He notices the bandages taped to his body and is sure the pain in his ribs will be insufferable. His right hand is in a tight bandage and completely covered. Even with the painkillers he can feel the bruises on his face. He doesn’t want to think about what it will feel like when the drugs wear off.

  “I was attacked.” He remembers how strict Singapore is and how severe their laws are. He starts to concoct a story. He knows he’s slurring and wonders if it’s from the bruises or the medication or both.

  “Yes, you were.” The doctor holds up his hands to stop Steven from saying more. “But you’re okay now. That’s all that matters. We’ll worry about all the rest another time. Okay?”

  Steven thinks he nods. He’s not sure.

  “Lady friend?” Steven asks.

  “She’s outside,” the doctor says. “I’ll come back and check on you again soon. Okay? You rest for now.”

  “How long am I here?”

  “You can leave soon enough. We’ll keep you and watch you until then. You rest now and let me do what I do. Then you can leave, okay?”

  Before Steven can answer, the doctor smiles again and steps out of the room, tapping his chart on the end of the bed as he walks out. Steven looks around the tiny room and realizes that he’s alone. It’s quite small and bare. Not at all as he would think a hospital room would look. It’s not at all like the room where he visited Scotty after the accident.

  Steven remembers a fight. He remembers getting hit. Did he bungee jump? He remembers Dania getting hit and punched in the face. He remembers a fall. A crack. Then everything went black. The bodyguard punched him. Nez’s bodyguard.

  Nez, he thinks to himself. What happened to Nez?

  The door opens again, and Steven looks over to see Dania walk slowly into the room. She has been crying, and her makeup is almost all gone, cried away or rubbed away. On her lower left jaw there is a small, dark bruise. Her eyes are puffy and red. Her hair is wet from rain or sweat or both. She looks exhausted.

  “Hey,” she says quietly. Steven doesn’t like the word “hey.” He wants to speak, but his throat is dry and his face hurts. He makes a face that might be a smile. He can’t tell. Dania walks up to the bed and looks as if she’s going to cry again. Tears are in her eyes. She leans in and kisses him on the forehead. Her lips feel warm on his skin. A single tear rolls down her cheek, and Steven feels it land on the bruises on his face.

  “How do you feel?” she asks.

  “Hurt.”

  “You’re okay. I mean, you’re going to be alright.”

  “How did I get here?”

  “I threw you in a taxi. I brought you here while you were out.”

  “You brought me to the hospital in a cab? Not an ambulance?”

  “I had to be discreet. You understand?”

  Steven now remembers what happened. He remembers all the punches and his arms being pulled back. He remembers the awful cracking sound.

  “Nez?” he asks.

  Dania looks out the window in the door to the hallway outside. She looks over her shoulder to see if the tiny room is, indeed, empty. Then she leans in to Steven’s ear and whispers:

  “I didn’t see who attacked us, and neither did you. I don’t know anyone named Nez. And neither do you.”

  She steps back and looks into his eyes. Does he understand? She nods slowly at him, and he tries to nod back. His head really hurts. But he understands.

  She pulls up a chair and they sit in silence for a few moments, and Steven suddenly realizes that Dania is holding his hand. The left one, not the one with the IV sticking out of it, wrapped in the tight bandage. Every so often, a tear runs down her face and she pushes it away with the back of her free hand. Steven can hear the air-conditioning in the background. He hears it louder than she does.

  “Money,” Steven says after a few minutes.

  “What?” Dania asks.

  “You don’t need it anymore. Nez. The money.”

  “Don’t think about that. It doesn’t matter.”

  “You don’t need the money.”

  “I never needed any money,” Dania says. “Okay? I can’t tell you that enough. I didn’t want money. Not from Scott. Not from you. I never even knew about the money.”

  “But now you’re free.”

  “Whatever. Free to do what?”

  “Leave.”

  “And go where? I don’t know anything else. I don’t know anywhere else.”

  Steven pulls his hand away from hers. “Leave. Leave me.”

  “What?”

  “I want you to leave,” he says.

  The look on her face is crushing. The tears start to form in her eyes, and she stands up and takes a few steps back. Steven can smell her perfume. It’s that same flowery scent that always comes from her hair. She stands there and looks at him questioningly for a moment.

  “Is that what you really want?” She clears her throat.

  “What I want,” Steven says, slurring his words, “is to leave this place. To heal and pack and get the hell out of this godforsaken city. I can’t leave fast enough. As soon as they let me, I’m gone.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Just like that. And then I’ll try to forget I ever came here at all.”

  Dania leans forward again. She tries to touch his hair, but he pulls his head back. His head hurts so much when he moves it, he feels as if he’ll pass out again.

  “Please don’t say that,” she almost whispers.

  Steven scoffs and feels his throat, dry and hoarse. “Look me in the eyes and tell me why not,” he says. “Better yet, look at my face and tell me.
Look what happened to my face. And then tell me why I should stay one more minute here.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You win,” Steven says. “You’re free now. So just go and be free from all the shit you were in.”

  “I don’t want to be free. I want you.”

  He shakes his head. “No, you wanted him. You got me because he’s dead.”

  Dania looks shocked. She looks out the doorway again to see if anyone is watching. She clasps her strong hands together and tightly squeezes them. Steven notices again that she really does have strong hands.

  “You don’t mean that,” Dania says.

  “I mean every word of it. Ask yourself if I’d even be here if Scotty were still alive.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “Isn’t it? If he hadn’t died, you’d probably be planning your wedding right about now and I’d just be the brother-in-law you hadn’t met yet.”

  “I didn’t want to marry Scott,” she says. “That’s what he wanted.”

  “Christ, this was crazy.” Steven rolls his eyes and can feel how the socket of one of them was beaten to a pulp. It’s a very unusual, very unique pain.

  “So that’s it, then?” Dania sniffs loudly and glares at him. She looks angry.

  “After you lied to me? Lied to my brother? Essentially destroyed our family? Everything I had, gone. Yes, that’s just about it. I think that’s enough.”

  She wants to scream at him; he can tell. She wants to curse at him and scratch at him. If he were standing in front of her right now, she would slap him. Slap his bruised and beaten face. Instead, she just bites her bottom lip. He can see how hard she is biting it.

  “Don’t blame me for this,” she says through her teeth. “Scott never would have blamed me.”

  “You’d be surprised how little you knew about Scott.”

  “And you’d be surprised to find out how much he knew about me. He wasn’t ashamed of me. He knew everything and stayed with me.”

  “Because Scotty liked being different. He liked being unusual. He liked to shock people. It turned him on.”