Fingerprints and Muddy Feet

by Carol Lynne

  “I know, but I honestly don’t think it’ll come to that. My parents already gave away two sons because they were more concerned with their reputations than the love they did or didn’t feel for their own children.”

  After the curt message Collette had left on Nate’s phone in regards to them attending the memorial service, Rio wasn’t sure he trusted himself around the woman. “How much trouble could we get in if we go on over to the house and pick up the kids ourselves?” he asked Ryan.

  Ryan gave Rio a pointed look. “It’s not about getting into trouble—it’s about Hannah and Will. We all need to keep in mind that those children just lost their parents. Who the hell knows where their minds are at right now.”

  Ron came into his tiny bare-bones office with his hands jammed into the pockets of his cheap suit pants. “Senator Gilloume and his attorneys are willing to meet with us to discuss visitation rights, but they refuse to adhere to Laura’s will.”

  Nate growled loud enough to surprise everyone in the room before pointing to Ron’s phone. “May I?”

  Rio got to his feet. “What’re you doing?”

  Nate picked up the phone. “This bullshit has gone on long enough. My father needs to understand that he’s no longer dealing with a scared eighteen-year-old.”

  Rio met Ryan’s gaze. The potential to make the situation more volatile was extremely high, made worse because Nate was reacting out of hurt.

  “Please put my father on the phone,” Nate demanded. He huffed. “Mrs Burns, I know for a fact that he’s sitting on the sofa in his office, watching the news with a drink in his hand. It’s what he does every day at lunch. Tell him the next call I make will be to that very station he’s currently watching.” He grinned. “Yes, I’ll hold.”

  “If you push him, don’t be surprised if he pushes back,” Rio warned.

  Nate covered the receiver and pointed to the phone. “The man’s son was buried yesterday and instead of being home with his grandchildren, he’s on his big ass in the Senate Building. Business as usual.”

  Nate reared back as Gilloume’s voice barked so loudly over the handset that Rio could hear it.

  “I have too much dirt on you for you to refuse my calls,” Nate began. “Meet me by the duck pond in Pershing Park at two o’clock.”

  Rio glanced at his watch. It was ten after one, which didn’t leave Nate much time to get across town in the midday DC traffic.

  “Oh, no, sir, I wouldn’t dare threaten you. I can come by the Senate Building if you’d prefer, or maybe you can invite me over for dinner this evening. I’m sure Mom would love to see me.” Nate’s eyebrows drew together. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I will have my lovers with me. I’d planned to have them stay in the car, but maybe they should join us after all. I mean, surely, you’d like to share your thoughts on how disgusting you think we are with them as well, right?”

  Rio crossed his arms and wondered how much jail time he’d do if he kicked the shit out of a senator. Better yet, maybe he’d get Snake to pay Gilloume a visit. Even if Snake was caught, which was highly unlikely, Snake knew plenty of people who could get him out of any charges Gilloume tried to file.

  While Rio mused on Gilloume getting the comeuppance he deserved, Nate ended the call. “He’s agreed to meet me,” Nate said, setting the handset in its cradle.

  “Do you want us with you?” Ryan asked in full protective mode.

  “No. Despite what I said, I think I’d rather do this one alone.” Nate looked from Ryan to Rio. “The two of us have a lot to talk about, and it’d be better without an audience.”

  Rio nodded. “We’ll wait in the car then.”

  Nate shook his head. “Thanks, but I think it would be better if I drop the two of you by the hotel.”

  * * * *

  Nate parked as close to the pond as he could. The temperature had dropped significantly overnight and standing outside in the freezing cold waiting for his father wasn’t something he was willing to do. He tried to lay out in his mind how he wanted the impending conversation to go.

  Although his top priority was the children, he hadn’t yet decided on how to bring up Buddy, or if he should. Ryan believed it would be best to gain custody of Will and Hannah before tackling the Buddy issue, but Nate wasn’t so sure. If he continued to chip away at his father, his threats would eventually lose their effectiveness. Perhaps cutting all ties in one chop would be the best thing for everyone.

  A long black limousine pulled into the parking lot, signalling the Senator’s arrival.

  Nate took a deep breath in an attempt to gather his resolve. While part of him would feel a degree of satisfaction by taking Hannah, Will and Buddy away from his father, it also made him sad. Not because he felt the Senator had anything to offer his family members, it was more what the family could have offered the Senator if he’d let them.

  With a heavy heart, Nate got out of the rented sedan. He walked towards the limousine, knowing that was where their meeting would take place. It struck him as very cloak-and-dagger, but his dad had always been extremely dramatic. Gilloume wore his wealth like a shield and the car was an extension of that. Lucky for Nate, wealth no longer intimidated him.

  The chauffeur jumped out from behind the wheel and opened the door for Nate with perfect timing. Nate acknowledged the older man with a nod. “How’re you doing, Mr Wallaby?”

  “Just fine,” Wallaby replied with a slight nod.

  The older man had been the Gilloume family driver since Nate was a boy, well before Gilloume had become one of the most conservative senators the United States had ever known.

  Before getting into the car, Nate stared at Wallaby. “Please don’t tape this conversation. There’s nothing I’m going to say that my father will want others to hear.”

  Wallaby appeared to be surprised by the request. “I have to do what I’m told, sir.”

  “Okay,” Nate replied, cutting Wallaby some slack. He broke eye contact and ducked inside the limousine. Sitting opposite his father, Nate felt a sudden rush of emotion. The last time he’d sat across from the Senator, it had been in an attorney’s office as he was pressured into signing away his family and his name. Legally, he supposed he no longer had the right to call the man his father, but it felt wrong to call him William. He decided to stick with Senator. It not gave Nate’s father the respected title he demanded to hear, but it kept their familial ties out of the conversation.

  “Collette and I have already enrolled Will in St Catherine’s Academy in California. He starts Monday,” the Senator stated without any sort of greeting.

  Nate knew the school by name. It was the same Catholic boarding school the Senator had threatened to send Nate to when he was around the same age. “Why in the hell would you fight me for custody if you don’t want Will around anyway?”

  “He’s showing signs,” Gilloume replied as if that were explanation enough. “The school’s the best thing for him.”

  Nate knew exactly what his father was referring to. “Even if Will turns out to be gay, you can’t preach it out of him.”

  The scenario brought back too many memories. Nate felt the sting of tears as he remembered the past. He’d been around Will’s age when his father had first started to pull away from him. Nate hadn’t understood it at the time, had even asked his mother what he’d done to make his father not like him anymore. Instead of being comforting, Nate’s mother had taken his father’s side, saying Nate was too feminine for any real man to be around. It had never made sense to him. William Gilloume wasn’t what Nate would consider a man’s man. Contrary to what most would assume, Nate had inherited his father’s penchant for nice clothes. In fact, there had been a few instances in Nate’s teenage years when he’d wondered why his dad often barged into his room without knocking. It had almost been as if the Senator had wanted to catch Nate with his pants around his ankles, wanking his cock.

  “Why does my homosexuality scare you so much?” Nate eventually asked.

  “It’s unnatural,”
the Senator blustered. “You won’t be allowed into heaven, so why should I waste time with you on earth?”

  The soft, almost reverent tone, of the Senator’s voice surprised Nate. “Do you ever have unnatural thoughts or feelings towards another man?” He couldn’t believe he’d asked his father the question and didn’t at all expect the Senator to answer.

  “Everything in life is a choice. It’s what I tried for years to make you understand. Thoughts aren’t action and actions are what make us who we are,” the Senator said.

  It was a confession of sorts. One that left Nate bewildered. Was his father admitting to homosexual thoughts? “You pushed me away, and now you’re pushing Will away. Are those the actions that make you who you are?”

  When the Senator didn’t reply, Nate came to a final decision. “I’m leaving tomorrow, and I’m taking Hannah and Will with me. If you try to stop me, I’ll defy the legal agreement and the custody battle will play itself out in the press. It’s not what I want for the kids, but I truly believe they need to be around people who will love them for who they are.”

  “If you break the agreement, you’ll have to pay me back the money I gave you, and you’ll open yourself to a lawsuit,” the Senator reminded him.

  “I know, but some things are more important than money.” Nate considered whether or not to bring up the situation with Buddy. He decided against it. From everything he’d experienced, Nate doubted the Senator had much, if anything, to do with his oldest son. Perhaps there would come a time when Nate could visit Buddy without putting the group home’s funding in jeopardy.

  “Your mother won’t like it. She’s rather fond of Hannah.”

  Nate noticed the Senator said nothing about Will. “I’m taking them to Wyoming, not another planet. If Mother wants to visit Hannah or Will, I won’t stop her as long as the children are agreeable.”

  The Senator turned his head to look out the side window. “Did I ever tell you that I considered leaving your mother to become a priest?”

  “No,” Nate replied, surprised by the admission.

  “It was a few years after I married Collette. Something happened that made me believe God was punishing me for sins I’d committed during my youth. It was around that time that I was approached by the Republican Party to run for the Senate. I decided that if I could throw myself into making sure our country upheld the family values I was raised with, I could seek God’s forgiveness through another path.”

  Nate was positive the event his father spoke of was the birth of a mentally handicapped child. He tried to put himself in his father’s position, no matter how screwed up the man’s thinking had been.

  William Gilloume had run for and won a spot on the Senate. William had worked tirelessly in an attempt to atone for the sins he believed he’d committed. He’d probably thought he was on the right path until Nate showed signs of being attracted to boys instead of girls.

  A thought struck Nate. It was his father’s own shame that had prompted him to pull away from Nate. The brief affair between Nate and Joseph, an upstanding seminary student, would have been too much for the Senator to handle.

  “I need to ask you something, and I’ll never speak of it again,” the Senator began, finally looking away from the window. “Did I do something to make you the way you are?”

  Nate shook his head. “I love who I am, and, no, you don’t get any of the credit for that.”

  “How can you say that? I’ve seen what the gays in this country go through. How can you be happy about it?”

  “I didn’t say I was happy with the way homosexuals are treated. I said I love who I am, and I love my life. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’ve found two wonderful men who love me unconditionally, and I have a fantastic job as mayor of the best damn community in the world. Cattle Valley’s amazing, and I’m so proud to be part of it.”

  Nate knew their conversation was over when his father turned back to the view out the window. “I guess gays have more choices today than they used to,” the Senator mumbled.

  Nate drew his winter coat around him and reached for the door handle. “I’ll let you talk to Mother. Laura’s attorney will be at your house at seven to pick up Will and Hannah. That should give the two of you time to enjoy one last meal together.”

  Wallaby opened the car door. “Sir,” Wallaby said, bowing slightly as Nate exited the car.

  Nate took one last glance at his stone-faced father before stepping away. He noticed moisture in Wallaby’s eyes as the older man shut the door to the limousine. “It was nice to see you again,” Nate told the chauffeur.

  “You as well,” Wallaby replied before climbing behind the steering wheel.

  Nate watched the limo drive off. He barely noticed the sting of sleet that began to pepper his exposed skin until a well-aimed piece of ice hit him in the eye. “Fuck!” he cried, letting out his frustration and pain.

  The last thing he’d wanted from the conversation with his father was to end up feeling sorry for the man.

  * * * *

  Nate used the key Laura’s attorney had given him to enter the house. He quickly tapped in the security code he’d also been given before shutting the door. Although it hadn’t been easy to say goodbye to Ryan and Rio at the airport, the three of them had decided it would be best for Nate to meet Hannah and Will for the first time on his own.

  He stood in the foyer for several moments, staring up at a huge Christmas tree that sat at the base of the staircase, before pocketing the key. It felt strange being in Robby’s home, knowing he wouldn’t have been welcomed if his brother had still been alive. He’d had time to think on the drive from the airport and had come to the conclusion that Laura had also believed her son might be gay. Given a mother’s protective instincts, it made more sense that she would have sought Nate out in an attempt to open a line of communication between them. What Nate still didn’t know was whether or not Robby knew about Laura’s will, which had only been enforceable in the event the two of them were both deceased.

  Nate walked towards the back of the house, hoping to find the kitchen. The house was another matter he’d have to deal with, but that would come later. For the moment, he would make arrangements for the home to be cleaned and readied to stand empty. The house, along with all its contents, had been left to Hannah and Will with Nate named as guardian of the estate as well as the children.

  Like the foyer, the kitchen was dressed for Christmas. Hell, Laura had been all ready to spend the holidays with her children. Maybe having the kids meet him at the house had been a bad idea.

  Nate made a mental note to call Rio and ask him to dig out their Christmas decorations. There was no way Rio could recreate Laura’s decorations with the few they had, but at least Ryan and Rio could put up a tree. Stockings, Nate remembered. He’d have to tell Rio to get the kids a stocking for the fireplace. Shit. There was so much to do. Nate would have to buy all-new stuffers for Ryan and Rio’s stockings as well. He didn’t imagine the kids would appreciate the sex toys Nate had already purchased for his partners.

  The front door opened and closed. As Nate started back towards the front of the house, stomping footsteps could be heard on the stairs. He glanced up as he entered the foyer and caught a glimpse of Hannah as she disappeared around the curve of the stair.

  “Uncle Nate!” Will screamed and launched himself towards Nate.

  Nate did his best to catch the excited eight-year-old. “Hey,” he said, unsure of what to do next. He wondered how Will even knew him since the two of them had never met. “You know who I am?”

  Will smiled up at Nate. “You’re in my book.”

  “What book?” Nate asked.

  “The one Mom made for me.” Will grabbed Nate’s hand and led him towards the staircase. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

  Nate glanced at Ron. “Thanks. I think I’ve got it from here.”

  Ron laid a stack of papers on the small table just inside the door. “I’ll need you to read over these. We go before th
e judge on Monday.”

  Monday. Nate nodded. “I’ll give you a call Monday morning.” It only gave him two days to get to know the kids before he was granted legal guardianship.

  Ignoring the conversation that Ron and Nate were trying to have, Will continued to pull Nate up the staircase. “Mr Cummings said you were going to stay the night with us. You can sleep in my room if you want.”

  Nate turned away from the door and followed Will as the front door closed. “Don’t you have a guestroom?”

  Will stopped suddenly, almost causing a catastrophe as Nate slammed into him. Nate wrapped his arms protectively around the boy as they toppled onto the hardwood steps. “Ouch,” Nate cried as his side smacked against the corner of one of the risers.

  “Sorry,” Will said, rolling off Nate. “I was just gonna tell you that my daddy’s been sleeping in the guestroom.” His expression went sombre. “Guess he won’t need it anymore, though.”

  Nate took a deep breath and sat on the same step he’d landed on. He pulled Will down beside him and held the boy’s hand. “I’m sorry about your mom and your dad.”

  Will rubbed his eyes. “Grandmother said they’ll be happier in heaven.”

  “Well.” Nate released Will’s hand and put his arm around the boy’s shoulders. “I think they’d probably be happiest if they were still here with you, but I hear heaven’s the next best thing to being with the people you love.”

  Will continued to stare down at his feet for several moments before speaking. “I saw the pictures of that accident in your town. Did your friends there go to heaven, too? Will they be able to see my mom and dad?”

  Although Nate knew he’d never get over the grandstand collapse, it had become easier to put the carnage he’d witnessed out of his mind for brief spells. “Yeah. I imagine so. Death sucks.”

  “Yeah,” Will agreed. “You wanna see what I made Mom for Christmas?”

  “Sure.” Nate winced as he got to his feet. He’d probably have a nice bruise to show for the spill, but he was otherwise unhurt.