by Maya Banks
“Yeah, I know that much. Where is she? Why are you all looking at me like that? Why can’t I reach her?”
Sam knelt by Nathan’s side. “You have to talk to her, Nathan. And we have to get you to her as soon as possible. She’s bleeding heavily. She’s sensed that you were hurt but she’s out of it. She’s been out of it ever since Joe found her. He hasn’t been able to break through. You have to or we’re going to lose her. Do you understand me? She was in no condition to take this on, but she’s afraid you’re going to die. You have to convince her otherwise and break the connection before it kills her.”
All the blood left Nathan’s face. Fear knotted his gut and panic rolled over him like a tidal wave. No. Oh dear God, no. Not again. Never again. She’d taken more for him than she ever should have taken.
“Take me to her,” he demanded. This time when he pushed upward, Garrett didn’t stop him. Instead he and Ethan each got an arm and hauled him to his feet.
“You’re not going to like this, but we can move a hell of a lot faster if we just carry your ass,” Garrett said.
Without waiting for Nathan’s response, Ethan and Garrett hoisted him up and took off double time for the back exit, Steel and his team leading the way.
Shea. Baby, where are you? You have to talk to me. I’m okay. I’m not dying. It’s just a flesh wound. The knife didn’t go deep. Do you hear me? Shea, you have to listen to me. You have to break off. Somehow you’re connected to me even though you aren’t aware of what’s going on around you. It’s our bond. It’s unbreakable. No one can take that from us. But baby, I need you to break away. Please, you have to do this. For me. I can’t lose you, and you’re too weak to endure this. For once let me be strong for you. This wound is nothing. I wouldn’t lie to you about that. I’ll need a few stitches and I’ll be good as new.
He sucked in his breath. His heart felt near to bursting out of his chest. He had so much fear and he hated that he couldn’t find that pathway to her, couldn’t break through the wall of silence that seemed to shield her on all sides.
She was protecting herself. She’d erected the wall to keep the pain away and now he couldn’t break through.
Don’t do this. Please don’t do this, Shea. Let go of me. Let me take this for you. You’ve protected me for so long, baby. For once let someone else take care of you.
I love you. I love you so damn much. Come back to me.
CHAPTER 42
“WE can get Nathan patched up in Taos,” Ethan said. “But what about Shea? How the fuck do we explain identical stab wounds? I thought when she took pain and shit that the phantom wound disappeared quickly?”
They were still two klicks from the rendezvous point, but they were hustling over the terrain, like Nathan weighed nothing. Ethan and Garrett were easily keeping pace with Sam and the others.
“Want me and Dolphin to take over?” Cole called back to Garrett.
Garrett shook his head and kept moving. Nathan dragged himself from his concentration on Shea to answer Ethan’s question.
“She’ll heal. Or usually she would. It’s temporary. But now? I don’t know. Joe and Van said she was out of it. Unresponsive. I can’t reach her. Joe can’t reach her. It’s like she’s checked out but yet she sensed what happened to me, and her automatic reaction was to take the pain because she didn’t want me to suffer. She’s not strong enough to do that, and if I can’t get her to snap out of it, she’ll bleed to death.”
“We’re nearly there,” Sam said, his voice calm and reassuring. But that was Sam. Not much ruffled him. There was worry in his eyes, but he kept his cool, and right now Nathan appreciated that because he was damn close to losing his shit. One of them needed to remain calm.
“They’ve made it to the rendezvous,” Sam relayed to Nathan. “The chopper is there and waiting. We’ll split up. We’ll take you and Shea to Taos. The others can take the trucks and meet us there.”
“Shea?” Nathan asked fearfully.
Sam’s lips tightened. “No change.”
They all went silent and increased their pace. While Nathan couldn’t feel the pain, he could feel the effects of the stab wound. He was a little slower processing information. The ground seemed to move slower beneath him. Everything felt like some bad slow-motion replay.
And it pissed him off.
Not only was Shea bearing the brunt of her treatment, but now she was taking his pain.
Finally they burst through the trees where the helicopter waited. Garrett and Ethan eased Nathan down, and he strode forward, his hand cupped over his side. His entire focus was on Joe, who was standing by the helo holding Shea tightly to his chest. What scared him the most was the amount of blood that stained his brother’s clothing. And the way Shea lay so very limp in his arms.
“Get in,” Joe ordered.
When Nathan started to protest, Joe bared his teeth in a snarl. “Get the fuck in. I’ll hand her to you once you’re in and secure. I’m not going to lose either one of you, goddamn it.”
With Garrett’s help, Nathan crawled inside and propped himself on the far edge of the seat, where he could lean against the wall. Joe came in after, still holding Shea, and when he sat next to Nathan, he gently laid her in Nathan’s arms.
“You’ve got to stop her,” Joe said fiercely. “You’re going to lose her if you can’t get through to her, damn it.”
Nathan gathered Shea in his arms and pressed his lips to her cool forehead. Everything that mattered was in his arms. Dying, because she was hell-bent on saving him. Tears burned his eyelids and he bit his lip to hold them at bay as he silently begged her to come back to him.
I’m here, baby. Right here, holding you. I’m okay. Can you feel me, Shea? Can you feel how much I love you? Fight your way back to me. Do it for me. Do it for us. I want forever with you.
He stroked his fingers down the side of her face and followed them with gentle kisses. He completely ignored Donovan, who knelt in front of them and placed his hands over Shea’s side to slow the steady flow of blood.
Nathan pressed his forehead to hers. Feel me, Shea. Feel my love. Hear me. Come back to me. You’ve got to break away. You’ve got to give yourself a chance to heal. I can’t lose you, baby. You’re so determined to protect me and to save me. Then goddamn it, come back to me. I’m not dying and you’re damn sure not going to die for me. If you’re so determined to shield me, then you better goddamn well snap out of it because you’ll do a piss-poor job of it in your grave.
Nathan.
There it was. The faintest whisper in his mind, but he heard it. More than that, he felt it. His grip tightened around her and he could no longer hold back the tears.
I’m here, baby. I’m here. I’m okay. I swear it. I’ll be fine. Break off from me and talk to me out loud. You’re scaring the shit out of everyone. Give me back the pain, Shea. It’s time you let someone take care of you for a change.
She blinked. Just once, but the cloudiness left her eyes and she stared up at him in confusion as if she couldn’t quite comprehend that he was there.
“Nathan,” she whispered aloud.
“Yes, baby. It’s me,” he choked out. “Now let go. Let go and let yourself heal.”
She took a deep shuddering breath, her features creased with all the pain she’d been shouldering. And then just as quickly, fire licked up his side. It took everything he had not to react. To sit there like he didn’t feel a thing. He knew if he so much as flinched, that she’d be back, shielding him, taking it so he didn’t have to.
Donovan slid onto the seat beside him, and before Nathan realized what he was doing, he plunged a needle into his arm.
“Painkiller,” Donovan murmured low so only Nathan could hear. “I know it hurts, man, and I know you don’t want her to know. If you start to go out, I’ll take her.”
Like hell that would happen.
Some of the tension that had knitted her brow eased and relief was stark in her eyes. Joe took Donovan’s place in front of Shea and carefully peele
d back the blood-soaked shirt so he could ascertain how much if any she still bled.
The others who’d hung back and remained silent during the entire flight leaned forward, their expressions ones of astonishment as Shea’s side slowly began to return to normal.
Nathan knew it would take longer this time, but he was content that at least the bleeding had slowed and that she was no longer bearing the agony in his stead.
His jaw was tight as he battled the burn in his side. The medicine Donovan had injected was already starting to take hold, though, and wooziness stole over him, leaving him heavy and lethargic.
“How are you feeling now, Shea?” Joe asked gently.
She slowly turned to look at Nathan’s twin. She licked her lips and attempted to smile, but she seemed far too tired to actually pull it off.
Her brow furrowed as she seemed to give his question a lot of consideration. Finally she sighed. “I don’t know.”
Some of the dullness had returned to her eyes and that worried Nathan. It was as if she’d gathered the last of her strength in her effort to help him and then to crawl back when he’d begged her to let go.
Exhaustion. He could feel her exhaustion and her confusion beating at her in relentless waves. She looked to each of the occupants of the helicopter but there was no recognition in her eyes, even though Nathan knew she knew who they were.
She turned her face into his chest and whispered so low that he couldn’t hear what she said. He leaned down close and gently touched her cheek.
“What did you say, baby?”
She shifted just enough that her mouth was visible and she whispered, “Promise me you’re okay. Promise.”
He kissed her because at that precise moment he was too choked up to get out even the simplest of words. He sucked in ragged breaths and closed his eyes. He laid his cheek against hers and whispered close to her ear, “I’m never leaving you, Shea.”
CHAPTER 43
“WHAT am I going to do about Shea?” Nathan asked as he sat on the edge of the exam table waiting his discharge.
His side hurt like a bitch, but the knife hadn’t struck anything vital and had only penetrated two inches. The doctor had wryly told him that a higher being had guided the blade because it had every opportunity to strike a vital organ but had slipped past without so much as scratching anything but fatty tissue and muscle.
He’d been stitched up, but he’d refused more pain medication. If it got bad later, Donovan could fix him up. For now he needed a clear head because Shea needed help, but they didn’t dare expose her to further scrutiny.
“I’ve called Maren,” Sam said in a low voice. “Joe’s with Shea now. As soon as you get out of here, we’re going to fly Shea to see Maren.”
“We’re taking her to fucking Costa Rica?” Nathan demanded.
Maren Scofield was a doctor KGI had rescued from Africa a few years back. She’d been instrumental in Rachel’s rescue or at least her recovery. She was someone KGI trusted and a damn good doctor. But the last Nathan had heard, she was still in Costa Rica. Not ideal. He wanted Shea home, not in fucking Central America.
“No. I’ve asked Maren to come to Tennessee. We’re taking Shea home and Maren will meet us there,” Sam replied.
“Then what the fuck are we waiting for?” Nathan hopped off the bed and started for the door. Pain jolted through his side, momentarily robbing him of breath. He stopped to steady himself and breathed away the rising nausea.
Sam made a grab for his arm. “You can wait a few more minutes to get your discharge paperwork. You’ll need the prescriptions and you’re going to take the meds or I’ll shove them down your throat. Shea needs you.”
“Yeah, I might have been a little hasty on that get the hell out of here,” Nathan gritted out.
“Let them give you the goddamn injection,” Sam snapped. “You’ve got to remain calm and pain free or Shea’s going to pick up on that and start taking it for you.”
“You’re right, you’re right. Look, let’s just get out of here. Van can give me an injection. I won’t argue. I’ll do exactly what he tells me, I swear, but let’s get the fuck out of here. I want to get back to Shea.”
They were interrupted by the nurse walking back in. She handed Nathan a clipboard and pointed to the places she wanted him to sign and then she handed him the prescriptions. She didn’t act particularly friendly and she beat a hasty retreat, but then Nathan supposed she likely thought they were some kind of criminals.
At least Resnick had kept the local cops out of the picture. The asshole did have his uses.
“Let’s go,” Sam said. “And you better take it easy. They’re waiting at the airport. The jet just touched down a few minutes ago, so as soon as we get there, we’re on our way home.”
Surely there wasn’t a better word in the world. Despite Sam’s order to take it easy, Nathan walked as fast as he could down the corridor and out the emergency exit to the parking lot, where one of the SUVs was parked.
Garrett was leaning against the hood, and when he saw Sam and Nathan heading toward him, he shoved off and opened the passenger door so Nathan could get in.
“Any word on Shea?” Nathan asked when Garrett climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Bleeding has nearly stopped. Wound is still open but seems to be closing at a slow rate.”
“But how is she?” Nathan asked anxiously.
Garrett sighed. “Same, man. No change.”
Nathan closed his eyes.
“She’ll be better when you’re there,” Sam said.
Nathan hoped to hell his brother was right. What Shea had gone through was unimaginable. It hurt him to know just how much she’d endured. He’d never get over the fact that he’d promised to protect her and yet he’d been powerless to prevent her from being taken from him.
It seemed like an eternity before they roared up to the private airfield where the jet was waiting. Nathan opened his door before the SUV came to a complete stop and was already out and hurrying across the hot concrete to the plane.
Outside the plane, Steele, Cole, P.J., Dolphin, Renshaw and Baker stood guard. They may have looked relaxed, like they were waiting for someone, but Nathan saw that each was focused on an outlying area, watchful for any potential threat.
He mounted the few steps into the plane, and when he stuck his head in, he saw Donovan in the cockpit along with Ethan. He glanced to the right to see Swanny sprawled in one of the seats.
Swanny sat forward and motioned back to the sitting area. “Joe’s back with Shea.”
Nathan pushed down the aisle past the seats and into the lounge area, where there was a sofa, a table and two other armchairs. Joe was sitting on the couch, Shea cradled against his chest.
Her shirt was pulled up just over the wound on her side, and Nathan sucked in his breath at the shock of seeing his wound on her flesh.
Joe looked up and their gazes met. Joe’s lips tightened and he silently shook his head. His heart about to split wide open, Nathan went forward and gently took Shea from Joe and then crossed to one of the armchairs to sit.
A moment later, Sam and Garrett walked back, and Joe spoke in low tones to them, giving them his report. Nathan tuned them out, his concentration solely on the woman in his arms.
He smoothed his fingers over the lines of her forehead, wanting to ease the strain. He touched the softness of her cheek, traced the delicate line of her jaw.
She was so much a part of him. As much as breathing, eating or sleeping. She was there in every thought, every part of his heart and soul.
“Rest now, baby,” he whispered against her brow. He didn’t want to drain any of her flagging strength by speaking telepathically to her. She was so fragile and infinitely precious. So very precious to him. “We’re going home. I’m taking you home, where you’ll get better. I’ll take care of you. I’ll be with you every minute of the day, and we’ll put our demons to rest together.”
She seemed to relax and he cradled her close, tucking her h
ead underneath his chin. Her breathing evened out, and he sensed for the first time that she was actually resting.
Donovan pushed his way through Sam and Garrett and squatted beside the chair where Nathan sat. “You’re getting this whether you want it or not. If we control your pain, we control hers. You both need rest, so don’t fight the effects.”
Nathan didn’t offer any protest. His side was screaming, and for Shea, he’d do whatever it took to make her more comfortable.
When Donovan was finished, he stood and told the others to prepare for takeoff. Nathan remained where he was while the others took their seats and belted in.
The drug didn’t take long to take effect. His muscles seemed to uncoil and he relaxed as the pain’s edge was tempered. He held Shea tightly as the jet taxied down the runway and then lifted off.
Home. To Tennessee. He was bringing Shea home. He just hoped to hell that she trusted him enough to stay.
He dozed lightly, Shea’s warmth as soothing as the drug that Donovan had given him. His eyes flew open when he heard footsteps.
Sam, Garrett, Joe and Swanny came through and sat on the couch and the other armchair.
“Is she doing any better?” Sam asked in a low voice.
“She’s resting,” Nathan said. “Really resting.” He glanced down at her eyelashes resting on her cheeks and his chest tightened all over again. “They broke her. Whatever they did, they broke her.”
“Bullshit,” Joe said. “She’s down but she’s not out. I don’t believe for a fucking minute that they completely broke her. She saw you through hell. She’s fierce. She’ll be okay.”
Nathan smiled at his brother’s staunch assessment of Shea.
“I’ve spoken to Resnick,” Sam said. “Things are a mess right now. A lot of fingerpointing. A lot of denial. He’s collecting evidence before it can be destroyed.”
“What about Grace?” Nathan asked quietly.
Sam shook his head. “No one knows. She wasn’t there. Resnick’s putting out his feelers. Rio hasn’t reported in, which means he’s turned up nothing yet. My guess is she’s lying low somewhere.”
