by Barbara Gee
She gave him a smile that bared her teeth. “You’d better not find out,” she warned.
His low chuckle made her shiver. He took her hand and they walked out onto the front porch. “We’ve got a routine veterinarian call at the barn tomorrow. It’ll take most of the day for him to check out all the horses, and I need to be there. I wish the guy who will be taking over for Bob was already here so he could observe, too. It would be a good way for him to get to know the horses.”
“He comes on Monday?”
“Yep, last I heard. So I should have a week or two to work with him, show him what I’ve learned so far.” Tanner stopped at the front door and drew her in for a hug. “I’ll bring you ladies pizza when the vet is finished, okay? From that Ty’s place.”
“That would be great. Then on Saturday night, Gran and I will cook you a feast in my very own kitchen.”
“Deal. If you have any boxes you want me to take over for you tomorrow after I’m done at the barn, just let me know and I’ll load them up before I come. I’ll tell Maddy to reserve the SUV for me so I’ll have room.”
“Perfect. My car can’t hold much. By the time I load up my clothes, it’ll be full.”
“Guess we have a plan then.” He slid a hand into her hair and tilted her face up for a quick kiss. “Sleep well, Izzy-B. See you tomorrow evening.”
“I’ll be counting the minutes,” she murmured.
“Don’t you and Granny be moving furniture around, okay? Don’t let the moving guys leave until you’re satisfied it’s all just where you want it. I don’t want you two to hurt yourselves.”
“Okay.”
“Good girl.” He smiled tenderly and dropped a quick kiss on her lips. “Night, baby.”
Izzy’s smile back was sleepy but content. “Night, Tanner.”
His eyes roamed her face, then he shook his head and left, not giving into the temptation to kiss her again. Izzy was disappointed, but she knew he was right to show some restraint. The more familiar they became with each other, and the more time ticked away from them, the easier it would be to get carried away.
She washed her face and brushed her teeth, then changed into her sleep shorts and tee. As she crawled into bed she realized this would most likely be her last time getting ready for bed here in the cabin, her last time sleeping in this bed. After a little more than six months, she’d be saying goodbye to cabin life.
It was impossible to conjure up any regret. Full-sized kitchen and bathroom, here I come! On that pleasant thought, she slept.
***
“It’s perfect right there, thanks guys.”
Izzy watched as the three furniture delivery men set down her sofa. The one in charge patted the back of the sofa twice, seeming quite pleased to be done moving the behemoth, then walked over and picked up the clipboard he’d laid on the kitchen counter.
“If everything looks okay and we’ve got all the pieces where you want them, just sign right here,” he said, indicating the line for her signature.
“Gladly,” Izzy said, scribbling her name. “You guys did a great job. I’ll call the store tomorrow and tell your manager how satisfied I am.”
“We’d appreciate that, ma’am,” he said, handing her a copy of the delivery form she’d just signed, and keeping the other for himself. “I hope you’ll consider doing business with us again.”
“I already did,” she admitted. “Next load should arrive in a week.”
“Well maybe we’ll be the ones bringing it,” he said. “You have a good day, Ms. Harding.”
“You as well. Thanks again.”
They left and Izzy clasped her hands as she turned to grin at her grandma. “What do you think? Do you love everything as much as I do?”
“It’s all lovely, and the recliner and table we picked out are going to look great with this sofa,” Irene said enthusiastically. “Now let’s go get that enormous bed made up before Tanner comes with the rest of your things.”
“And the pizza, don’t forget the pizza,” Izzy said. “I’m starving. Tomorrow we’re going to buy out the grocery store to stock this place.”
Tanner arrived as they were finishing up the bed, and Izzy took the pizza box out of his hands and set it on the counter before jumping into his arms.
“Look, Tanner! I’ve got a sofa and a table and barstools! It’s starting to look like home!”
He held her against him, off the ground, as he looked around and grinned. “It’s a great start. I take it you want all that stuff hung on the walls?” he said, indicating the artwork she had leaning against the walls at various locations.”
She batted her eyes at him. “If you would be so kind. I’ve figured out where I want everything, we just need to put the hooks up. I got several kinds at the hardware store because I wasn’t sure what would work best.”
“I’ll get to it after we eat.”
Izzy opened a cabinet. “Look at my new plates. Are they gorgeous or what?”
“So gorgeous,” he said agreeably, making Izzy laugh because he obviously couldn’t care less what the plates looked like.
They sat at the new table to eat. Izzy asked how the veterinarian visit had gone, and Tanner was glad to report the horses were all doing great and the doc hadn’t found any areas of concern. The three of them chatted easily, and Izzy was so happy her granny had come in time to meet the man who’d so effortlessly stolen her heart.
After they’d finished off the pizza, Tanner started carrying in the boxes he’d brought from Izzy’s cabin. On his last trip, he was followed in by Virgil and Kay Desmond, who had driven by on their way back to the ranch to see whether she’d moved in yet, and gladly accepted when Tanner invited them to come in and see the progress.
Virgil ended up helping Tanner hang all the artwork on the walls, and then the two of them stood before the fireplace, trying to figure out how to hang a TV there. They agreed it would be best to have an electrician come out to install a new outlet and pull through the cable line, to eliminate any visible cords. Virgil gave Izzy the name of the guy he used for all his electrical needs at the ranch, and Izzy promised to give him a call.
When they were leaving, the Desmonds offered to drop Irene off at the guest cabin.
“That would be fantastic,” Irene said. “That way these lovebirds will have some time to themselves.”
“Granny!” Izzy chided.
“Thanks, Irene,” Tanner said at the same time, slinging an arm around Izzy’s shoulders.
The Desmonds laughed, complimented Izzy once more on her house, and left with a grinning grandma.
“Well that was embarrassing,” Izzy declared when the door shut.
“Why? The Desmonds obviously know we’re, uh, involved, and I’m pretty sure they understand us wanting time alone when we can get it.” He grinned. “Besides, I need to heed my verse of the day.”
Izzy raised her brows skeptically. “Oh yeah? And what was it?”
He was up to the test. “Be very careful then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity.”
She nodded slowly, impressed. “You’re still memorizing them.”
“I am. They make me think of you, and I want to remember them when I leave.” He grinned again, then lifted her up onto the counter so their faces were almost level. “I’m not only memorizing them, I’m taking them to heart. Which is why I’m going to make the most of every opportunity.”
She laughed and pushed her hands against his chest, holding him away. “This is not what that means, Tanner James!”
“Close enough,” he said, wrapping his hands around her wrists and moving her arms out of the way, holding them loosely behind her back. Then he stepped in and pressed his face into the curve of her neck and shoulder. “Missed you today, Izzy-B.”
She melted against him. “I missed you, too.”
He raised his head and looked at her. “Want me to help unpack those last few boxes?”
“Sure. It’s just some kitchen and ba
throom stuff.”
He lifted her down and they spent some time emptying the boxes, then settled on the couch with her iPad, looking at TVs. There was a locally owned electronics store in the town fifteen miles north of Barlow, and Izzy hoped to find one there and give them her business. But she needed to know what she was looking for first. Tanner gave her a size range, strongly suggesting she go bigger rather than smaller, and then she wrote down the other specs he rattled off.
“I should be going,” he said when she set her iPad aside, stretching his arms above his head. “You gonna be okay here tonight?”
“I’m going to be great. I can’t wait to take a shower and get ready in that huge bathroom. The only thing I’ll miss about the cabin is my hot neighbor.”
“Your neighbor isn’t around much anymore. He’s been visiting some girl in town.”
She giggled. “I hope he keeps on visiting her. Don’t forget, Gran and I are cooking for you tomorrow evening.”
“Sounds great. Boone, Ryan and I are going to help Tuck put up a playset in his back yard right after our Saturday morning gym session. Maddy picked out some big elaborate thing that has stuff for all ages, but with the four of us, we should be done early afternoon. Then I’ll go feed the horses, because the guy who usually takes weekend evening duty is off visiting family or something.”
“Okay.” Izzy stood and held out a hand to him. “We’ll plan to eat at six-thirty, but you can come over whenever.”
“I’ll be here at whenever on the dot,” he teased, letting her pull him up.
“Thanks for hanging all my stuff on the walls. I feel like this is a very one-sided relationship. I’m all take and no give.”
“You give plenty, Iz. I’m just glad you’re getting settled in. It’ll be nice to picture you here in your new home when I’m gone.”
They walked to the door with their arms around each other. “Picture my nice new couch with a big empty spot waiting for you to come back and fill it.”
“I’ll do that.” He swung her around to face him, then backed her up against the door. “You’ll be in my mind all the time, even when I can’t let myself acknowledge it. When I need you, you’ll be there.”
She reached up and pulled his head down. “And you’ll be in mine,” she said, pressing her lips to his jaw. “Every day, all day. No matter how long it takes.”
He kissed her, long, slow and deep, his big warm body pressed tightly against hers. Izzy reveled in it, memorizing how it felt to be totally absorbed by him. He made her feel safe and protected from the world, and while he held her, all her worries went away. This was what she’d been looking for, hoping for, longing for, all her life. This man. Only this man.
She lost track of time. One minute or five, she had no idea, but of course it had to end. He finally tore his mouth away from hers, his breathing as ragged as her own, his hands tight on her waist.
“I love you, Iz. Don’t ever forget that.”
“I love you too, and I won’t stop.”
“I’m counting on that,” he said softly. “Good night, sweetheart.”
“Night, Tanner.”
She watched him walk to the SUV, then slowly closed her door, sliding down it until her bottom hit the floor. She drew her knees up and dropped her head to them, tears sliding out even though her eyes were tightly closed.
Please, Lord, please. Please bring him back to me.
CHAPTER 21
The weekend was full of work, fun, and friends, and passed much too quickly. Tanner realized he was becoming used to being “normal.” Each night he spent time reading the latest information forwarded to him by Agent Luther, but during the day he was just like everyone else.
They got the playset built on Saturday morning, with lots of good natured ribbing and joking, and Tanner realized anew that by neglecting his social life in favor of gaining more hours of work, he had done himself a disservice. The laughing, the stories, the genuine friendships between a group of good men did his soul good.
After the playset was done, he got to spend time with the horses, who had also become friends of sorts, and to top it off, he had the whole evening with Izzy and Irene. As promised, they’d outdone themselves in the kitchen. Tanner enjoyed some of the best food he’d ever had, prepared with love by two women he cared deeply about. He went to bed that night feeling blessed, and the prayer he said before falling asleep felt almost natural.
On Sunday, the Desmonds switched things up, opting to do an evening barbecue instead of lunch. So after church he went on a picnic with Izzy and Irene. They climbed to the top of a small butte on the ranch, and spread blankets on a grassy spot. There they ate a simple lunch of sandwiches while sitting in the shade of some scrubby trees, enjoying the fresh North Dakota summer day.
Irene was leaving the next day, and she said over and over that this had been the best week she’d had in years. She was obviously proud as could be of Izzy and how far she’d come since her tumultuous years, of which Irene knew much more about than Izzy’s parents. The relationship between the two was healthy and loving, and Tanner was glad Izzy had her grandma in her life.
The evening was a blast. The Desmonds knew how to throw a backyard barbecue, that was for sure. Music from hidden speakers, a bonfire, lawn games, and an impressive spread of food. Several other families from town and the retreat center staff had been invited. Ryan’s son, Hank, and the other kids kept things plenty lively.
Izzy moved easily among the people there, talking and laughing, sometimes drawing Tanner into conversations, sometimes letting him just sit back and observe, enjoying the atmosphere and the happy people.
She never stayed away from him for long, though. Her beautiful smile would flash at him from across the lawn, and soon she’d be back at his side, twining her fingers through his, leaning against his side, once even pulling him around the corner of the house for a quick kiss before Hank’s dog, Buzz, interrupted them while looking for his Frisbee.
It was late when the party ended and clean-up was completed. Izzy drove him to his cabin, gave him a quick but passionate kiss, then headed back to her house with a promise to meet him in the cafeteria for breakfast early the next morning, before a whole new group of families arrived and things got crazy again.
Breakfast wasn’t meant to be, though.
***
The call from Luther came at five o’clock, informing Tanner a helicopter would be landing at the ranch in forty-five minutes. Things were breaking loose. Another explosives expert had entered the picture, and Tanner needed to get to DC within twenty-four hours, or he could very well miss his chance to join the targeted cell.
His heart full of dread, Tanner called Ryan and filled him in, then asked if he could borrow his car to go say goodbye to Izzy. Ryan insisted on driving him there himself, and Tanner didn’t fight him. He needed the support.
As they left the ranch, Tanner called the girl he’d grown to love more than life. He listened to the phone ring, feeling more grief and regret than he could ever remember experiencing. He’d always known he was going to hurt her, he just hadn’t realized how painful it would be when the time came to do it.
The depth of the emotion he felt was heart-wrenching. This was happening too soon—he wasn’t ready to say good-bye. Was their month-long love strong enough to get through this?
She answered and he cut off his thoughts. He’d expected her voice to sound sleepy and confused, but she was fully alert.
“Tanner? Please tell me you’re just calling to tell me a horse got sick and you have to miss breakfast.”
He closed his eyes and wiped a hand down his face. She’d guessed why he was calling so early and she was no more ready for it than he was. The next fifteen minutes were going to be some of the hardest he’d ever endured.
“I’m on my way to your place, Iz. Can you get up and let me in?”
“I’m already up. I was going to go for a run.” Her voice broke on the last word and he heard her clear her throat. “I don’t want y
ou to come. You’re going to tell me you’re leaving, and I don’t want to hear it.”
He sighed. “I know, baby. Just unlock the door, okay?”
“It’s unlocked,” she whispered, then hung up.
Tanner let his head fall back against the seat.
“I’m so sorry, man,” Ryan said. “I hate this for you two.”
“Just take care of her, Ryan. It could be a long time before I can get back. If she needs to move on, encourage her to do it, okay? It’s what I want her to do.”
The other man nodded slowly. “I will, Tanner, but she won’t. I think you know that. You’re it for her.”
He clenched his jaw and fought the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. “I hate what I’m going to put her through,” he ground out. “I hate it almost enough to say I wish I’d never come here. But it wouldn’t be true, because this has been the best month of my life.”
Ryan nodded. “I get it, man, but she’ll be okay. She’s got a huge support system. It’s you I’m most worried about, bro. I hate that you’re going back in. I wish there was another way.”
“I have to do it,” Tanner said resolutely. “Luther has been sending me stuff every day, and the more I find out about this group, the more I’m convinced he’s right. These are some bad dudes, and I have the best chance of taking them down. I need to say goodbye to Izzy and then put her and this place out of my head as much as possible. Tanner James has to cease to exist, except for the times I’m truly alone and can let my mind come back here.”
“We’ll make sure she’s okay, and when you take down those bastards, we’ll all be here waiting to welcome the Tanner we know and love back to life.”
“Thanks, man. That’s my goal, but there’s a lot that could go wrong. It means a lot to me that Izzy has you all.”
“We’ll probably drive her crazy, but hey, that’s what friends are for.”
“Yeah.” Tanner took a deep breath as Ryan parked in front of Izzy’s house. He reluctantly opened the door. “I won’t be long.”
***
Izzy was curled up in the corner of her couch when he walked in. He closed the door softly and went to her. She stood and moved into his arms.
