FST01 - Fifty Shades of Grey

by EL James

  Following a swift glance up at the Chancellor, he stares ahead, focusing on the WSUV em-blem hung above the entrance. He doesn’t turn his eyes toward me again. The Chancellor drones on, and Christian still doesn’t look at me, he just stares fixedly ahead.

  Why won’t he look at me? Perhaps he’s changed his mind? A wave of unease washes over me. Perhaps walking out on him last night was the end for him too. He’s bored of waiting for me to make up my mind. Oh no, I could have completely blown it. I remember his email last night. Maybe he’s mad that I haven’t replied.

  Suddenly, the room erupts into applause as Miss Katherine Kavanagh has taken the stage. The Chancellor sits, and Kate tosses her lovely long hair behind her as she places her papers on the lectern. She takes her time, not intimidated by a thousand people gawp-ing at her. She smiles when she’s ready, looks up at the captivated throng, and launches eloquently into her speech. She’s so composed and funny, the girls beside me erupt on cue at her first joke . Oh, Katherine Kavanagh, you can deliver a good line. I feel so proud of her at that moment, my errant thoughts of Christian are pushed to one side. Even though I have heard her speech before, I listen carefully. She commands the room and takes her audience with her.

  Her theme is What Next After College? Oh, what next indeed. Christian is watching Kate, his eyebrows slightly raised – in surprise, I think. Yes, it could have been Kate that went to interview him. And it could have been Kate that he was now making indecent proposals to. Beautiful Kate and beautiful Christian, together. I could be like the two girls beside me, admiring him from afar. I know Kate wouldn’t have given him the time of day.

  What did she call him the other day? Creepy. The thought of a confrontation between Kate and Christian makes me uncomfortable. I have to say I don’t know which of them I would put my money on.

  Kate concludes her speech with a flourish, and spontaneously everyone stands, applauding and cheering, her first standing ovation. I beam at her and cheer, and she grins back at me. Good job, Kate. She sits, as does the audience, and the Chancellor rises and introduces Christian… holy shit, Christian’s going to give a speech. The Chancellor touches briefly on Christian’s achievements: CEO of his own extraordinarily successful company, a real self-made man.

  “And also a major benefactor to our University, please welcome, Mr. Christian Grey.” The Chancellor pumps Christian’s hand, and there is a swell of polite applause. My heart’s in my throat. He approaches the lectern and surveys the hall. He looks so confident standing in front of us all, as Kate did before him. The two girls beside me lean in, enraptured. In fact, I think most of the female members of the audience inch closer and a few of the men. He begins, his voice soft, measured, and mesmerizing.

  “I’m profoundly grateful and touched by the great compliment accorded to me by the authorities of WSU today. It offers me a rare opportunity to talk about the impressive work of the environmental science department here at the University. Our aim is to develop via-ble and ecologically sustainable methods of farming for third world countries; our ultimate goal is to help eradicate hunger and poverty across the globe. Over a billion people, mainly in Sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia, and Latin America, live in abject poverty. Agricultural dysfunction is rife within these parts of the world and the result is ecological and social destruction. I have known what it’s like to be profoundly hungry. This is a very personal journey for me… ”

  My jaw falls to the floor. What? Christian was hungry once. Holy crap. Well, that explains a great deal. And I recall the interview; he really does want to feed the world. I desperately rack my brains to remember what Kate had written in her article. Adopted at age four, I think. I can’t imagine that Grace starved him, so it must have been before then, as a little boy. I swallow, my heart constricting at the thought of a hungry, gray-eyed toddler.

  Oh no. What kind of life did he have before the Greys got hold of him and rescued him?

  I’m seized by a sense of raw outrage, poor, fucked-up, kinky, philanthropic Christian –

  though I’m sure he wouldn’t see himself this way and would repel any thoughts of sympathy or pity. Abruptly, everyone bursts into applause and stands. I follow, though I haven’t heard half his speech. He’s doing all of these good works, running a huge company, and chasing me at the same time. It’s overwhelming. I remember the brief snippets of conversations he’s had about Darfur… it all falls into place. Food.

  He smiles briefly at the warm applause – even Kate is clapping, then he resumes his seat. He doesn’t look my way, and I’m off-kilter trying to assimilate this new information about him.

  One of the Vice Chancellors rises, and we begin the long, tedious process of collecting our degrees. There are over four hundred to be given out, and it takes just over an hour before I hear my name. I make my way up to the stage between the two giggling girls.

  Christian gazes down at me, his gaze warm but guarded.

  “Congratulations, Miss Steele,” he says as he shakes my hand, squeezing it gently. I feel the charge of his flesh on mine. “Do you have a problem with your laptop?” I frown as he hands me my degree.

  “No.”

  “Then you are ignoring my emails?”

  “I only saw the mergers and acquisitions one.”

  He looks quizzically at me.

  “Later,” he says, and I have to move on because I’m holding up the line.

  I go back to my seat. Emails? He must have sent another. What did it say?

  The ceremony takes another hour to conclude. It’s interminable. Finally, the Chancellor leads the faculty members off the stage to yet more rousing applause, preceded by Christian and Kate. Christian does not glance at me, even though I’m willing him to do it.

  My inner goddess is not pleased.

  As I stand and wait for our row to disperse, Kate calls to me. She’s heading my way from behind the stage.

  “Christian wants to talk to you,” she shouts. The two girls who are now standing beside me turn and gape at me.

  “He’s sent me out here,” she continues.

  Oh…

  “Your speech was great, Kate.”

  “It was, wasn’t it?” she beams. “Are you coming? He can be very insistent.” She rolls her eyes, and I grin.

  “You have no idea. I can’t leave Ray for long.” I glance up at Ray and hold my fingers up indicating five minutes. He nods, giving me an okay sign, and I follow Kate into the corridor behind the stage. Christian is talking to the Chancellor and two of the teaching staff. He looks up when he sees me.

  “Excuse me, gentlemen,” I hear him murmur. He comes toward me and smiles briefly at Kate.

  “Thank you,” he says, and before she can reply, he takes my elbow and steers me into what looks like a men’s locker room. He checks to see if it’s empty, and then he locks the door. Holy shit, what does he have in mind? I blink up at him as he turns on me.

  “Why haven’t you emailed me? Or texted me back?” He glares. I’m nonplussed.

  “I haven’t looked at my computer today, or my phone.” Crap, has he been trying to call? I try my distraction technique that’s so effective on Kate. “That was a great speech.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Explains your food issues to me.”

  He runs a hand through his hair, exasperated.

  “Anastasia, I don’t want to go there at the moment.” He closes his eyes, looking pained.

  “I’ve been worried about you.”

  “Worried, why?”

  “Because you went home in that deathtrap you call a car.”

  “What? It’s not a deathtrap. It’s fine. José regularly services it for me.”

  “José, the photographer?” Christian’s eyes narrow, his face frosting. Oh Crap.

  “Yes, the Beetle used to belong to his mother.”

  “Yes, and probably her mother and her mother before her. It’s not safe.”

  “I’ve been driving it for over three years. I’m sorry you were worried. Wh
y didn’t you call?” Jeez, he’s completely over-reacting.

  He takes a deep breath.

  “Anastasia, I need an answer from you. This waiting around is driving me crazy.”

  “Christian, I… look, I’ve left my stepdad on his own.”

  “Tomorrow. I want an answer by tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you then.” I blink at him.

  He steps back, regarding me coolly, and his shoulders relax.

  “Are you staying for drinks?” he asks.

  “I don’t know what Ray wants to do.”

  “Your stepfather? I’d like to meet him.”

  Oh no… why?

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

  Christian unlocks the door, his mouth in a grim line.

  “Are you ashamed of me?”

  “No!” It’s my turn to sound exasperated. “Introduce you to my dad as what? ‘This is the man who deflowered me and wants us to start a BDSM relationship’. You’re not wearing running shoes.”

  Christian glares down at me, and then his lips twitch up in a smile. And in spite of the fact I’m mad at him, my face is unwillingly pulled into an answering grin.

  “Just so you know, I can run quite fast. Just tell him I’m your friend, Anastasia.” He opens the door, and I head out. My mind is whirling. The Chancellor, the three Vice Chancellors, four professors, and Kate stare at me as I walk hastily past them. Holy crap. Leaving Christian with the faculty I go in search of Ray.

  Tell him I’m your friend. Friend with benefits, my subconscious scowls. I know, I know. I shake the unpleasant thought away. How will I introduce him to Ray? The hall is still at least half full, and Ray has not moved from his spot. He sees me, waves, and makes his way down.

  “Hey, Annie. Congratulations.” He puts his arm around me.

  “Would you like to come and have a drink in the marquee?”

  “Sure. It’s your day. Lead the way.”

  “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Please say no…

  “Annie, I’ve just sat for two and half hours listening to all kinds of jabbering. I need a drink.”

  I put my arm through his, and we stroll out with the throng into the warmth of the early afternoon. We pass the line for the official photographer.

  “Oh, that reminds me.” Ray drags a digital camera out of his pocket. “One for the album, Annie.” I roll my eyes at him as he snaps a picture of me.

  “Can I take the cap and gown off now? I feel kind of dorky.” You look kinda dorky… my subconscious is at her snarky best. So are you going to introduce Ray to the man you’re fucking? She is glaring at me over her wing-shaped spec-tacles. He’d be so proud. God, I hate her sometimes.

  The marquee is immense, and crowded – students, parents, teachers, and friends, all chattering happily. Ray hands me a glass of champagne or cheap fizzy wine, I suspect. It’s not chilled, and it tastes sweet. My thoughts turn to Christian… he won’t like this.

  “Ana!” I turn, and Ethan Kavanagh scoops me into his arms. He twirls me around, without spilling my wine, some feat.

  “Congratulations!” He beams down at me, green eyes twinkling.

  What a surprise. His dirty blonde hair tousled and sexy-looking. He’s as beautiful as Kate. The family resemblance is striking.

  “Wow – Ethan! How lovely to see you. Dad, this is Ethan, Kate’s brother. Ethan, this is my dad, Ray Steele.” They shake hands, my dad coolly assessing Mr. Kavanagh.

  “When did you get back from Europe?” I ask.

  “I’ve been back for a week, but I wanted to surprise my little sister,” he says conspiratorially.

  “That’s so sweet.” I grin up at him.

  “She is Valedictorian, couldn’t miss that.” He looks immensely proud of his sister.

  “She gave a great speech.”

  “That she did,” Ray agrees.

  Ethan has his arm around my waist when I look up into the frosty gray eyes of Christian Grey. Kate is beside him.

  “Hello, Ray,” Kate kisses Ray on both cheeks, making him blush. “Have you met Ana’s boyfriend? Christian Grey.”

  Holy shit… Kate! Fuck! All the blood drains from my face.

  “Mr. Steele, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Christian says smoothly, warmly, completely unflustered by Kate’s introduction. He holds out his hand, which, all credit to Ray, Ray takes, not showing a hint of the drop-dead surprise he’s just had thrust upon him.

  Thank you very much, Katherine Kavanagh, I fume. I think my subconscious has fainted.

  “Mr. Grey,” Ray murmurs, his expression indecipherable except perhaps for the slight widening of his big brown eyes. They slide over my face with a when-were-you-going-togive-me-this-news look. I bite my lip.

  “And this is my brother, Ethan Kavanagh.” says Kate to Christian.

  Christian turns his arctic glare on Ethan, who still has one arm around me.

  “Mr. Kavanagh.”

  They shake hands. Christian holds his hand out to me.

  “Ana, baby,” he murmurs, and I nearly expire at the endearment.

  I walk out of Ethan’s grasp, while Christian smiles icily at him, and I take my place at his side. Kate grins at me. She knows exactly what she’s doing, the vixen!

  “Ethan, Mom and Dad wanted a word.” Kate drags Ethan away.

  “So how long have you kids known each other?” Ray looks impassively from Christian to me.

  The power of speech has deserted me. I want the ground to swallow me up. Christian puts his arm around me, his thumb skimming my naked back in a caress, before his hand clasps my shoulder.

  “Couple of weeks or so now,” he says smoothly. “We met when Anastasia came to interview me for the student magazine.”

  “Didn’t know you worked on the student magazine, Ana.” Ray’s voice is a quiet admonishment, revealing his irritation. Shit.

  “Kate was ill,” I murmur. It’s all I can manage.

  “Fine speech you gave, Mr. Grey.”

  “Thank you, sir. I understand that you’re a keen fisherman.” Ray raises his eyebrows and smiles – a rare, genuine, bona fide Ray Steele smile – and off they go, talking fish. In fact, I soon feel surplus to requirements. He’s charming the pants off my dad… like he did you, my subconscious snaps at me. His power knows no bounds. I excuse myself to go and find Kate.

  She’s talking to her parents, who are delightful as ever and greet me warmly. We exchange brief pleasantries, mostly about their up and coming holiday to Barbados and about our move.

  “Kate, how could you out me to Ray?” I hiss at the first opportunity we won’t be over-heard.

  “Because I knew you never would, and I want to help with Christian’s commitment issues.” Kate smiles at me sweetly.

  I scowl. It’s me that won’t commit to him, silly!

  “He seems trés cool about it, Ana. Don’t sweat it. Look at him now – Christian cannot take his eyes off you.” I glance up, and both Ray and Christian are looking at me. “He’s been watching you like a hawk.”

  “I’d better go rescue Ray or Christian. I don’t know which. You haven’t heard the last of this, Katherine Kavanagh!” I glare at her.

  “Ana, I did you a favor,” she calls after me.

  “Hi.” I smile at both of them on my return.

  They seem okay. Christian is enjoying some private joke, and my dad looks unbelievably relaxed given he’s in a social situation. What have they been discussing apart from fish? “Ana, where are the restrooms?”

  “Back out front of the marquee and to the left.”

  “See you in a moment. You kids enjoy yourselves.”

  Ray heads out. I glance nervously up at Christian. We pause briefly as a photographer takes a picture of both of us.

  “Thank you, Mr. Grey.” The photographer scurries off. I blink from the flash.

  “So you’ve charmed my father as well?”

  “As well?” Christian’s gray eyes burn, and he raises a questioning
eyebrow. I flush.

  He lifts his hand and traces my cheek with his fingers.

  “Oh, I wish I knew what you were thinking, Anastasia,” he whispers darkly, cupping my chin and raising my head so that we gaze intently into each other’s eyes.

  My breath hitches. How can he have this effect on me, even in this crowded tent?

  “Right now, I’m thinking, nice tie,” I breathe.

  He chuckles.

  “It’s recently become my favorite.”

  I blush scarlet.

  “You look lovely, Anastasia, this halter-neck dress suits you, and I get to stroke your back, feel your beautiful skin.”

  Suddenly, it’s like we’re on our own in the room. Just the two of us, my whole body has come alive, every nerve ending singing softly, that electricity pulling me to him, charging between us.

  “You know it’s going to be good, don’t you, baby?” he whispers. I close my eyes as my insides uncoil and melt.

  “But I want more,” I whisper.

  “More?” he looks down at me puzzled, his eyes darkening. I nod and swallow. Now he knows.

  “More,” he says again softly. Testing the word – a small, simple word, but so full of promise. His thumb traces my lower lip. “You want hearts and flowers.” I nod again. He blinks down at me, and I watch his internal struggle played out in his eyes.“Anastasia.” His voice is soft. “It’s not something I know.”

  “Me neither.”

  He smiles slightly.

  “You don’t know much,” he murmurs.

  “You know all the wrong things.”

  “Wrong? Not to me.” He shakes his head. He looks so sincere. “Try it,” he whispers.

  A challenge, daring me, and he cocks his head to one side and smiles his crooked, dazzling smile.

  I gasp, and I’m Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he’s the serpent, and I cannot resist.