FST01 - Fifty Shades of Grey

by EL James

  I sigh and peek up at Fifty Shades. He’s so beautiful, I could stare at him forever. He has light stubble over his chin, and my fingers itch to scratch it and feel it against my face, against my breasts… between my thighs. I blush at the direction of my thoughts. He peers down at me and raises his hand to pull at my chin.

  “Don’t bite your lip,” he murmurs huskily. “I want to do that.” Grace and Mia clear our dessert glasses and head to the kitchen, while Mr. Grey, Kate, and Elliot discuss the merits of solar panels in Washington State. Christian, feigning interest in their conversation, puts his hand once more on my knee, and his fingers travel up my thigh. My breathing hitches, and I press my thighs together in a bid to halt his progress. I can see him smirk.

  “Shall I give you a tour of the grounds?” he asks me quite openly.

  I know I’m meant to say yes, but I don’t trust him. Before I can answer however, he’s on his feet and holding his hand out to me. I place my hand in his, and I feel all the muscles clench deep in my belly, responding to his dark, hungry gray gaze.

  “Excuse me,” I say to Mr. Grey and follow Christian out of the dining room.

  He leads me through the hallway and into the kitchen where Mia and Grace are stack-ing the dishwasher. European Pigtails is nowhere to be seen.

  “I’m going to show Anastasia the backyard,” Christian says innocently to his mother.

  She waves us out with a smile as Mia heads back to the dining room.

  We step out onto a grey flagstone patio area lit by recessed lights in the flagstones.

  There are shrubs in grey stone tubs and a chic metal table and chairs set up in one corner.

  Christian walks past those, up some steps, and onto a vast lawn that leads down to the bay… oh my – it’s beautiful. Seattle twinkles on the horizon, and the cool, bright, May moon etches a sparkling silver path across the water toward a jetty where two boats are moored. Beside the jetty stands a boathouse. It is so picturesque, so peaceful. I stand and gape for a moment.

  Christian pulls me behind him, and my heels sink into the soft grass.

  “Stop, please.” I am stumbling in his wake.

  He stops and gazes at me, his expression unfathomable.

  “My heels. I need to take my shoes off.”

  “Don’t bother,” he says, and he bends down and scoops me over his shoulder. I squeal loudly with shocked surprise, and he gives me a ringing slap on my behind.

  “Keep your voice down,” he growls.

  Oh no… this is not good, my subconscious is quaking at the knees. He’s mad about something – could be José, Georgia, no panties, biting my lip. Jeez, he’s easy to rile.

  “Where are we going?” I breathe.

  “Boathouse,” he snaps.

  I hang on to his hips as I’m tipped upside-down, and he strides purposefully in the moonlight across the lawn.

  “Why?” I sound breathless, bouncing on this shoulder.

  “I need to be alone with you.”

  “What for?”

  “Because I’m going to spank and then fuck you.”

  “Why?” I whimper softly.

  “You know why,” he hisses.

  “I thought you were an in-the-moment guy?” I plead breathlessly.

  “Anastasia, I’m in the moment, trust me.”

  Holy fuck.

  Christian bursts through the wooden door of the boathouse and pauses to flick on some lights. Fluorescents ping and buzz in sequence as harsh white light floods the large wooden building. From my upside-down view, I can see an impressive motor launch in the dock floating gently on the dark water, but I only get a brief look before he’s carrying me up some wooden stairs to the room above.

  He pauses at the doorway and touches another switch – halogens this time, they are softer, on a dimmer – and we’re in an attic room with sloping ceilings. It’s decorated with a nautical New England theme: navy blues and creams with a dash of red. The furnishings are sparse, just a couple of couches are all I can see.

  Christian sets me on my feet on the wooden floor. I don’t have time to examine my surroundings – my eyes can’t leave him. I am mesmerized… watching him like one would watch a rare and dangerous predator, waiting for him to strike. His breathing is harsh but then he’s just carried me across the lawn and up a flight of stairs. Gray eyes blaze with anger, need, and pure unadulterated lust.

  Holy shit. I could spontaneously combust from his look alone.

  “Please don’t hit me,” I whisper, pleading.

  His brow furrows, his eyes widening. He blinks twice.

  “I don’t want you to spank me, not here, not now. Please don’t.” His mouth drops open slightly in surprise, and beyond brave, I tentatively reach up and run my fingers down his cheek, along the edge of his sideburn, to the stubble on his chin.

  It’s a curious mixture of soft and prickly. Slowly closing his eyes, he leans his face into my touch, and his breath hitches in his throat. Reaching up with my other hand, I run my fingers into his hair. I love his hair. His soft moan is barely audible, and when he opens his eyes, his look is – wary, like he doesn’t understand what I’m doing.

  Stepping forward so I am flush against him, I pull gently on his hair, bringing his mouth down to mine, and I kiss him, forcing my tongue between his lips and into his mouth. He groans, and his arms embrace me, pulling me to him. His hands find their way into my hair, and he kisses me back, hard and possessive. His tongue and my tongue twist and turn together, consuming each other. He tastes divine.

  He pulls back suddenly, our collective breathing ragged and mingling. My hands drop to his arms and he glares down at me.

  “What are you doing to me?” he whispers confused.

  “Kissing you.”

  “You said no.”

  “What?” No to what?

  “At the dinner table, with your legs.”

  Oh… that’s what this is all about.

  “But we were at your parents’ dining table.” I stare up at him, completely bewildered.

  “No one’s ever said no to me before. And it’s so – hot.” His eyes widen slightly, filled with wonder and lust. It’s a heady mix. I swallow instinctively. His hand moves down to my behind. He pulls me sharply against him, and I can feel his erection.

  Oh my…

  “You’re mad and turned on because I said no?” I breathe, astonished.

  “I’m mad because you never mentioned Georgia to me. I’m mad because you went drinking with that guy who tried to seduce you when you were drunk and who left you when you were ill with an almost complete stranger. What kind of friend does that? And I’m mad and aroused because you closed your legs on me.” His eyes glitter dangerously, and he’s slowly inching up the hem of my dress.

  “I want you, and I want you now. And if you’re not going to let me spank you – which you deserve – I’m going to fuck you on the couch this minute, quickly, for my pleasure, not yours.”

  My dress is now barely covering my naked behind. He moves suddenly so that his hand is cupping my sex, and one of his fingers sinks slowly into me. His other arm holds me firmly in place around my waist. I suppress my moan.

  “This is mine,” he whispers aggressively. “All mine. Do you understand?” He eases his finger in and out as he gazes down at me, gauging my reaction, his eyes burning.

  “Yes, yours,” I breathe as my desire, hot and heavy, surges through my bloodstream, affecting… everything. My nerve endings, my breathing, my heart is pounding, trying to leave my chest, the blood thrumming in my ears.

  Abruptly, he moves, doing several things at once. Withdrawing his fingers, leaving me wanting, unzipping his fly, and pushing me down onto the couch so he’s lying on top of me.

  “Hands on your head,” he commands through gritted teeth as he kneels up, forcing my legs wider, and reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket. He takes out a foil packet, gazing down at me, his expression dark, before shrugging off his jacket so it falls to the floor. He rolls t
he condom down over his impressive length.

  I place my hands on my head, and I know it’s so I won’t touch him. I’m so turned on.

  I feel my hips moving already up to meet him – wanting him inside me, like this – rough and hard. Oh… the anticipation.

  “We don’t have long. This will be quick, and it’s for me, not you. Do you understand?

  Don’t come, or I will spank you,” he says through clenched teeth.

  Holy crap… how do I stop?

  With one swift thrust, he’s fully inside me. I groan loudly, gutturally, and revel in the fullness of his possession. He puts his hands on mine on top of my head, his elbows hold my arms out and down, and his legs pinion me. I am trapped. He’s everywhere, overwhelming me, almost suffocating. But it’s heavenly too, this is my power, this is what I do to him, and it’s a hedonistic, triumphant feeling. He moves quickly and furiously inside me, his breathing harsh at my ear, and my body responds, melting around him. I mustn’t come. No. But I’m meeting him thrust for thrust, a perfect counterpoint. Abruptly, and all too soon, he rams into me and stills as he finds his release, air hissing through his teeth.

  He relaxes momentarily, so I feel his entire, delicious weight on me. I’m not ready to let him go, my body craving relief, but he’s so heavy, and in that moment, I can’t push against him. All of a sudden, he withdraws, leaving me aching and hungry for more. He glares down at me.

  “Don’t touch yourself. I want you frustrated. That’s what you do to me by not talking to me, by denying me what’s mine.” His eyes blaze anew, angry again.

  I nod, panting. He stands and removes the condom, knotting it at the end, and puts it in his pants pocket. I gaze at him, my breathing still erratic, and involuntarily I squeeze my thighs together, trying to find some relief. Christian does up his fly and runs his hand through his hair as he reaches down to collect his jacket. He turns back to gaze down at me, his expression softer.

  “We’d better get back to the house.”

  I sit up, a little unsteadily, dazed.

  “Here. You may put these on.”

  From his inside pocket, he produces my panties. I don’t grin as I take them from him, but inside I know – I’ve taken a punishment fuck but gained a small victory over the panties. My inner goddess nods in agreement, a satisfied grin over her face – You didn’t have to ask for them.

  “CHRISTIAN!” Mia shouts from the floor below.

  He turns and raises his eyebrows at me.

  “Just in time. Christ, she can be really irritating.” I scowl back at him, hastily restore my panties to their rightful place, and stand with as much dignity as I can muster in my just-fucked state. Quickly, I attempt to smooth my just-fucked hair.

  “Up here, Mia,” he calls down. “Well, Miss Steele, I feel better for that – but I still want to spank you,” he says softly.

  “I don’t believe I deserve it Mr. Grey, especially after tolerating your unprovoked attack.”

  “Unprovoked? You kissed me.” He tries his best to look wounded.

  I purse my lips.

  “It was attack as the best form of defense.”

  “Defense against what?”

  “You and your twitchy palm.”

  He cocks his head to one side and smiles at me as Mia comes clattering up the stairs.

  “But it was tolerable?” he asks softly.

  I flush.

  “Barely,” I whisper, but I can’t help my smirk.

  “Oh, there you are.” She beams at us.

  “I was showing Anastasia around.” Christian holds his hand out to me, his gray eyes intense.

  I put my hand into his, and he gives it a soft squeeze.

  “Kate and Elliot are about to leave. Can you believe those two? They can’t keep their hands off each other.” Mia feigns disgust and looks from Christian to me. “What have you been doing in here?”

  Jeez, she’s forward. I blush scarlet.

  “Showing Anastasia my rowing trophies,” Christian says without missing a beat, completely poker-faced. “Let’s go say goodbye to Kate and Elliot.” Rowing trophies? He pulls me gently in front of him, and as Mia turns to go, he swats my behind. I gasp in surprise.

  “I will do it again, Anastasia, and soon,” he threatens quietly close to my ear, then he pulls me into an embrace, my back to his front, and kisses my hair.

  Back in the house, Kate and Elliot are making their farewells to Grace and Mr. Grey. Kate hugs me hard.

  “I need to speak to you about antagonizing Christian,” I hiss quietly in her ear as she embraces me.

  “He needs antagonizing, then you can see what he’s really like. Be careful, Ana – he’s so controlling,” she whispers. “See you later.”

  I KNOW WHAT HE’S REALLY LIKE – YOU DON’T! – I scream at her in my head.

  I’m fully aware that her actions come from a good place, but sometimes she just oversteps the mark, and right now so far that she’s into the neighboring state. I scowl at her, and she pokes her tongue out at me, making me smile unwillingly. Playful Kate is novel, must be Elliot’s influence. We wave them off at the doorway, and Christian turns to me.

  “We should go too – you have interviews tomorrow.”

  Mia embraces me warmly as we say our goodbyes.

  “We never thought he’d find anyone!” she gushes.

  I flush, and Christian rolls his eyes again. I purse my lips. Why can he do that when I can’t? I want to roll my eyes back at him, but I do not dare, not after his threat in the boathouse.

  “Take care of yourself, Ana, dear,” Grace says kindly.

  Christian, embarrassed or frustrated by the lavish attention I’m receiving from the remaining Greys, grabs my hand and pulls me to his side.

  “Let’s not frighten her away or spoil her with too much affection,” he grumbles.

  “Christian, stop teasing.” Grace scolds him indulgently, her eyes glowing with love and affection for him.

  Somehow, I don’t think he’s teasing. I surreptitiously watch their interaction. It’s obvious Grace adores him with a mother’s unconditional love. He bends and kisses her stiffly.

  “Mom,” he says, and there’s an undercurrent in his voice – reverence maybe?

  “Mr. Grey – goodbye and thank you.” I hold out my hand to him, and he hugs me too!

  “Please, call me Carrick. I do hope we see you again, very soon, Ana.” Our farewells said, Christian leads me to the car where Taylor is waiting. Has he been waiting here the whole time? Taylor opens my door, and I slide into the back of the Audi.

  I feel some of the tension leaving my shoulders. Jeez, what a day. I am exhausted, physically and emotionally. After a brief conversation with Taylor, Christian clambers into the car beside me. He turns to face me.

  “Well, it seems my family likes you, too,” he murmurs.

  Too? The depressing thought about how I came to be invited pops unbidden and very unwelcome into my head. Taylor starts the car and heads away from the circle of light in the driveway to the darkness of the road. I gaze at Christian, and he’s staring at me.

  “What?” he asks, his voice quiet.

  I flounder momentarily. No – I’ll tell him. He’s always complaining that I don’t talk to him.

  “I think that you felt trapped into bringing me to meet your parents.” My voice is soft and hesitant. “If Elliot hadn’t asked Kate, you’d never have asked me.” I can’t see his face in the dark, but he tilts his head, gaping at me.

  “Anastasia, I’m delighted that you’ve met my parents. Why are you so filled with self-doubt? It never ceases to amaze me. You’re such a strong, self-contained young woman, but you have such negative thoughts about yourself. If I hadn’t wanted you to meet them, you wouldn’t be here. Is that how you were feeling the whole time you were there?” Oh! He wanted me there – and it’s a revelation. He doesn’t seem uncomfortable answering me as he would if he were hiding the truth. He seems genuinely pleased that I’m here… a warm glow spreads sl
owly through my veins. He shakes his head and reaches for my hand. I glance nervously at Taylor.

  “Don’t worry about Taylor. Talk to me.”

  I shrug.

  “Yes. I thought that. And another thing, I only mentioned Georgia because Kate was talking about Barbados – I haven’t made up my mind.”

  “Do you want to go and see your mother?”

  “Yes.”

  He looks oddly at me, like he’s having some internal struggle.

  “Can I come with you?” he asks eventually.

  What!?

  “Erm… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “I was hoping for a break from all this… intensity to try and think things through.” He stares at me.

  “I’m too intense?”

  I burst out laughing.

  “That’s putting it mildly!”

  In the light of the passing street lamps, I see his lips quirk up.

  “Are you laughing at me, Miss Steele?”

  “I wouldn’t dare, Mr. Grey,” I reply with mock seriousness.

  “I think you dare, and I think you do laugh at me, frequently.”

  “You are quite funny.”

  “Funny?”

  “Oh yes.”

  “Funny peculiar or funny ha ha?”

  “Oh… a lot of one and some of the other.”

  “Which way round?”

  “I’ll leave you to figure that out.”

  “I’m not sure if I can figure anything out around you, Anastasia,” he says sardonically, and then continues quietly, “What do you need to think about in Georgia?”

  “Us,” I whisper.

  He stares at me, impassive.

  “You said you’d try,” he murmurs.

  “I know.”

  “Are you having second thoughts?”

  “Possibly.”

  He shifts as if uncomfortable.

  “Why?”

  Holy crap. How did this suddenly become such an intense and meaningful conversation? It’s been sprung on me, like an exam that I’m not prepared for. What do I say? Because I think I love you, and you just see me as a toy. Because I can’t touch you, because I’m too frightened to show you any affection in case you flinch or tell me off or worse –