Bella jumps up and throws her arms around me, then smacks me in the chest. “You’re such an arse.”
We all freeze, watching Bella. “Of course we have sympathy, why wouldn’t we? That’s a terrible thing to have happen, and as a parent, I will never understand how you survived. When Junior was taken, I thought my life was over. I have loved you like a brother from the first day Jax brought you home and nothing that is said here will ever change that for me. What I always felt in my heart is real and I can use this to my advantage.”
“Hey, Jax, why don’t you come into my office and I’ll give you that letter to read,” I offer. He gets up and heads down the hall with me.
We get into my office and Jax is quiet. A quiet Jax is never a good sign. I’m worried about him I know this is a lot for him to deal with on top of everything else. “Jax, you’re very quiet, mate, what’s wrong?”
“Max, I have always thought of you as my brother. I’m blown away with the fact that you actually are. I couldn’t be happier about that. I am in shock, however, to find out that Bella and I are illegitimate. I think I understand now why mum wants us married before the baby gets here, and why she was wild when Bella was pregnant before she was married. I know we live in a world where anything goes, but that’s not how I fly, mate. You know I have morals and ethics that I live by, so how can I fix this for Mum’s sake?”
“Jax, I honestly have no idea here, but I will do whatever makes it easier for everyone. Honestly, so much has happened since you’ve been gone. Your mum showed me a side of her I never knew existed. She acts all tough and brave, but she has been living with the fear that this will bring shame to her children. She’s been carrying the guilt of my mum’s death for all these years, a guilt she shouldn’t have to bear. I think for everyone involved, we need to put this all away and move forward.” I get the letter out.
Jax shakes his head. “That is personal, and I have no reason to doubt anything you tell me. Please put it away. What else happened while I was gone?”
As I put the letter away I take notice how tired he is. “Jax, we can go over this in the morning.” He shakes his head no.
“No. Let’s go over it now.”
“Okay, if you insist. There are no flats available in the building. I put some feelers out to see if anyone wants to sell, but no responses. I got confirmation back from Tony, right before you landed, that the woman in the park was Annabelle. She has not made any more attempts to contact Raven. I am checking into new guards for Raven and Gabriella.” I wait for a response from him. After a few moments, I lightly smack his upper arm. “Talk to me, Jax. I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.” I open my drawer, pull out a bottle of scotch, and pour us each a glass.
“Will this cluster fuck ever end, Max? I want my family safe—safe and happy. Is that really too much to ask?”
“For everyone’s sake, Jax, I hope so and soon.”
THE GUYS ARE BACK and I see worry lines around Jax’s eyes. My heart is breaking for this man. I need to get him to eat something and rest, and I know just what to do. “Jax, I’m hungry can we get something to eat?”
His eyes light up. “My girl is hungry, so I have to go feed her. I love you all, but this is a priority!” He is now pushing me out the door. Giving Jax purpose, and letting him know he is needed is what lights up his world. We go across the hall and everything is quiet. My mom is still sleeping, and I’m pretty sure she will be for a while.
“Raven, what would you like to eat?”
I reach up and kiss his soft lips. “Are you up for an adventure?”
He gives me that smirk I love so much. “As long as I’m with you, I will go anywhere.”
Oh, how I love this man. “Jax, the only thing I need you to do is run a bath and I will meet you in there.” He’s about to argue, but I hold my hand up for him to stop.
“ Remember, some things are non-negotiable. Right now, you need me to shut off your mind and let me take charge. Now, go.”
His face lights up and his blues are twinkling. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me twice.”
I watch him stroll towards the bathroom, and I can’t help staring at his beautiful ass. He stops just before the doorway and turns his head around, “Like the view, sweetheart?” I roll my eyes, so busted.
There is a little pizza place, not too far away, that makes a specialty pizza. I order it along with a ton of food, and give one of the guard’s instructions where to pick it up. I head into the bathroom and there is my beautiful man, soaking in the tub. His head tilted back, eyes closed, and the room is filled with candles; vanilla and orange spice. I stand there and admire the view. I know he knows I’m watching, and I don’t care. I get undressed and climb in with my back against his front.
“Jax, do you want to talk or would you rather shut your mind off, for the rest of the night?”
“I will take option B, thank you.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me tight. “Sweetheart, when we are locked away, just like this, I find a peace that I can’t seem to get anywhere else. I’m worried about my mum, Raven, this shook her to the core.”
Ah, so he does want to talk. “Give her time, Jax, she has held this secret for such a very long time. You know it had to be hard for her to admit everything. In her mind, she is afraid you and Bella will think less of her.”
“I couldn’t be more proud of her if I tried. To think, she put all of her pain and shame aside to give her children everything. Do you know what really got to me out of this whole situation?”
I turn in his arms so I can face him, “No, what?”
He pulls me tighter, “What really got to me is the fact that even though her husband was a bigamist, even though she was left with two very young children, she put all of that aside and offered to raise Max, along with us. That to me, shows what a strong and proud woman she is. I can only hope that I will set that type of example for our child.”
I reach up and softly kiss his lips. “Maybe you need to let her know that, I’m sure it would help her.” He doesn’t say anything, but I know he gets it. I stand up, “We need to eat, and the water is getting cold.” I offer him my hand, but he pulls himself to his knees, leans in, and kisses my growing bump.
“I love you, baby, and I love your mum, too.” At this moment, I know I could never be without this man.
HE LEADS ME TOWARDS the kitchen. I stop. “I have a surprise for you, Jax, follow me upstairs.” When we reach the rooftop deck, he looks at the spread and smiles. I know he’s happy with the amount of food I ordered.
“Raven, this looks wonderful. I am starving, let’s eat.”
It’s a beautiful evening, and this is the perfect place to enjoy the city, and each other. “Jax, do you think my mom is going to be okay, living in the city? I’m worried about her. This is such a change from where she has been living for the last twenty years.”
“Raven, I know it will be an adjustment for her, but I think you being here, so close to her, will be a great help. I know you are fiercely independent, however, in this case, I think what would help her is to feel needed by you.”
“I’m at a loss. How do I make her feel needed?”
“Sweetheart, your mum lost you when you were only seven years old. She missed out on all the milestones in your life. Yeah, she has you back, but you’re a woman now, not a seven-year-old little girl. Helping you through the pregnancy, nurturing you, and helping with the baby will give her a sense of purpose. She will feel needed. Does that make sense?”
I nod, “It does. I can only hope that my pregnancy doesn’t bring up any bad memories for her.” Suddenly, Bo barks. I look over to see that my mom has wandered up to the roof deck. “Are you hungry, mom?”
“Yes, it looks wonderful.”
Jax helps her to her seat. “Rose, I hope you feel comfortable staying here until I can secure a flat in this building. I know I can be a bulldog, so please tell me to rein it in, when I get overbearing.” Jax is trying to make everything perfect for both of us.<
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“Jax, I’m excited to be close to Raven and the baby. Thank you so much for all that you are doing for all of us.”
I know my tears will bring him to his knees, so I wipe them away quickly. Jax takes my hand and kisses the inside of my wrist, and I feel myself shudder. “Sweetheart, what’s for dessert?”
I go about setting up the dessert, and I know he is going to lose his mind, but now that my mom is here I’m not sure how this is going to go over with him. I’m watching his face as I bring over a covered tray. “I hope you love it, Jax, it is one of my favorites.”
I lift the lid, and the Jax’s face is priceless. His eyes grow wide as he stares at the tray, speechless. I’m trying so hard not to laugh.
My mom smiles, but has a faraway look on her face. “Raven, do you know this is one of my favorite treats? Your father used to make this for me all the time.”
I take a deep breath, to think that my mom and I both love Nutella. Something so simple, yet, so powerful. Jax still can’t seem to muster a word. “My beautiful man, have I rendered you speechless?”
“I’ve never had a Nutella pizza. I am experiencing so many firsts with you.”
I know Jax is trying so hard to control himself, but I can’t help myself, he just makes it way too easy. I swipe my finger into the warm Nutella and pop it into my mouth. All the while never taking my eyes from Jax. I tilt my head back and let out a little low moan. He is frozen with a death grip on the sides of the table. Next, I swipe the whip cream and offer him my finger. He growls. I really don’t know how long he is going to last, but I’m having way too much fun to stop now.
“Raven, I think I’m going to take my dessert and head back to my room. You both have fun.” Mom giggles at us, shaking her head. I think she knows what I was doing to him just now.
My mom gets up and heads downstairs. The minute she is out of sight, Jax leaps up.
“I need you now.”
I shake my head, “Nope, not yet, Jax. Tonight we are going to reverse roles here. I think it should be all about what I need.” I inform him. His eyes grow wide, and he fists his hands like he’s trying with all that he has for some sort of control.
“Sit, please.” He does, but I can tell this is not going to be easy for him. I stand up and do a slow strip, just for him. I stand before him, wearing only my heels. He moans. I swipe my fingers through the pizza and smear the Nutella and whip cream on my nipples. “Oh my, Jax, this is wonderful. Warm Nutella and cool whip cream just making my nipples ache for you.”
His eyes are gazing up and down my body, getting darker. I know he’s not going to last much longer. I reach over and pick up his glass of Prosecco. I let it slowly drizzle down my breasts and between my legs. That’s it—game over!
“Fuck all that is holy, woman!” he yells.
He leaps out of the chair, lifts me up, and runs with me to the cushioned chase lounge. He lays me down ever so gently, licking his way up my body, mumbling the whole way.
“You don’t play fair, sweetheart.”
He leans in to kiss me, but then leaps out of the chair. His eyes are wide with fear.
“Jax, are you okay?”
He stands there, silently, his bottom lip between his teeth. He runs both his hands through his hair, pulling it so hard I swear he will go bald. “The baby kicked me,” he almost whispers in disbelief.
I have to try not to laugh but it’s so hard not too.
“It’s okay, Jax, the baby is moving a lot, lately.” I take his hand. “Talk to me. What’s the problem?”
“The baby moved just when I was going to have sex with you. I don’t know; it freaked me out.”
Oh my, he’s really rattled. “Jax, the baby doesn’t know what you’re doing.”
“But I know,” he barely whispers.
How can I convince this man that it’s okay? “Look, the doctor said we could continue to be sexually active.” I watch him; he seems to be battling between his fear and his need. “I have an idea. Maybe it will help you if I’m on top.”
He rests his forehead on mine. “Okay.”
I lead him back down on the lounge chair. I need to get him to relax. I slowly work my way up his legs, kissing from one to the other. On my knees, I stroke his beautiful cock up, twist, and then down. I lick the crown slowly, and he is finally relaxing. I climb over him and take my time lowering myself until he is sheath within me. “Give me your hands, Jax.” I kiss one and then the other. I then place them on my breast. He’s working each one of my nipples into a frenzied state. I pull myself up and slowly glide myself down, clenching all the way. His hips are coming up to meet mine. He puts my hands on his shoulders and he takes a hold of my hips. Leaning in, he takes one of my nipples between his teeth. I’m going to lose it real quick. Now he’s onto the other nipple. “Jax, I’m not going to last, baby . . . Oh God, yes!” I can feel my whole body flush as I come, quivering and shaking. Jax’s release soon follows.
I lie next to him and curl into his side. Both of us are quiet, and Jax is stroking my arm, lost in his thoughts.
“Raven, I don’t know why I freaked out, it’s just all of a sudden, the baby seemed so real.”
I need to try and calm his fear, even though it’s unfounded, it’s real for him. “ Do you think you’re going to hurt the baby?”
“No, the doctor gave us the green light. It felt like I was walking in on my parents having sex.”
I lean up, pulling his face towards mine. “Jax, the baby has no clue what we are doing. Making love with you is beautiful. Don’t let the pregnancy take away from that.”
He pulls the throw blanket over us, holding me closer. “I love you, and I love that you can take all my craziness, my beautiful girl.”
“Jax, can I ask you for a favor?”
His smile is huge and his eyes are twinkling. “I would lay down the world at your feet, sweetheart, and just the fact that you need me for something is a total turn on!”
I can’t help but laugh, “Oh, you’re always turned on.”
He’s laughing and it’s wonderful to be relaxed like this. “If we are getting married on Friday, do you think you can stay at Max’s house, and Jackie can stay here with me and my mom?”
“We are getting married this Friday! You want me to stay away from you until Friday?” he asks. I kiss his soft lips and he smiles that beautiful crooked smirk. “Raven, I would lay down my life for you, surely I can do this for you. On one condition, you must keep your detail and Bo with you at all times—no matter what. That is non-negotiable.”
Oh, how I love him and his wicked negotiating skills. “Deal.”
He begins to move in and out really slow. “You had so much fun driving me nuts with the Nutella pizza, I think it’s time I return the favor.”
He helps me get onto my knees and puts gentle kisses up and down my spine. He reaches around and begins to roll my nipples with his fingers. They are so sensitive to his touch. He takes his cock and begins rubbing from front to back. He wants to consume every inch of my body, and I want him to.
“Push out for me, Raven, let me in.”
As I push out, he slowly pushes through the barrier. He slowly begins to move. When he takes me this way, I can’t think, maybe that’s what he wants. The fullness is unreal, and my skin is becoming so hot. I know I can’t last much longer. He leans down and slowly nibbles my ear. I’m trying so hard to hold it, not to fall too quickly. I want this to last forever. Then he takes his hand and goes right between my legs. Rubbing my clitoris and pushing his fingers deep inside me—every part of me is filled with Jax. I throw my head back, screaming. Jax is not far behind me. Time seems to stand still, both of us trying to breathe again. He pulls out and I’m tucked into his side, my head on his chest. When I finally open my eyes and I’m hit with the bluest of blues.
“There’s my sweetheart, thought I lost you for a second. Are you okay?”
“Jax, are you even human?”
“Ha, of course I am, my beautiful girl. Th
is is what you do to me. Let’s shower, and then you need to get some rest.”
He gets up with me in his arms. Pulling the throw around us, as he carries me downstairs. I’m so tired, but the thought of that wonderful shower makes me smile. I only hope I can stay awake long enough to enjoy it.
I DECIDE TO GO next door and see Max. I left Raven a note in case she wakes up and I’m not there. I know Max will be up; it’s been a long emotional day for all of us.
I find Max in the living room and I take a seat. “Hey, mate, I need to go over some wedding stuff with you. We are getting married this Friday, in Bella’s garden. I need you to help me pull this off.” He’s sitting there, smirking at me. “Max, what is wrong with you?”
Ha, “I know you better than anyone, Jax. I knew you were going to go about this at lightning speed. I already started making the arrangements the day you left for Switzerland. Your mum has been helping me. You need to sign some papers for the license. The women need to get their gowns. Don’t look at me like that, I needed something to do while you were holding me hostage in my own home.”
He goes over to the bar and pours us both a scotch. “Jax, do you want to tell me what’s really on your mind?”
“Max, I have more questions about our father, but on some level, I’m not sure I want the answers.”
Max goes to his office and comes back with a file.
“Here.” He passes it to me. “It’s everything I know about the man. After he left, I vowed I never wanted to see or hear from him again. I carried on my life as if he were dead, because for me, he was. After I read the letter from my grams, I realized everything isn’t always what it seems. I know that grams and your mum did what they thought was best for everyone involved, and I have only the utmost respect for both of them. I needed to know if he was still alive, and if there are other siblings out there.”
Darkness into Dawn (The Unraveled Trilogy Book 2) Page 15
